Our Legacy, Their Story.

by MerlosTheMad

Where the Buck am I?

Overhead, the sky dome of his rural home glistened and shimmered a pale blue. The artificial sunlight streamed down and warmed him through the glass of his cruiser's windows. They did a good job giving a somewhat authentic feel for an actual atmosphere.

Most people would have no idea about what that was actually like anyway, but in the past Smorgas had often had the privilege of visiting a few Terran like worlds. The off duty officer swirled the steering wheel and jammed the throttle into reverse in one smooth motion. His cruiser came to a hard stop in his small driveway outside of the solitary building that was his home. The bachelor bungalow wasn't quite small. It was quaint, but he had spruced it up over the years adding in skylights and a pool in the back yard amongst other things when he could afford it. Most people saved their pennies for a lengthy retirement to break from it, but Smorgas had never felt like not working, and his gig was a pretty sweet one as he saw it. Why plan for stopping when he had no intention of doing so? He checked the clock on the dash and noticed the drive had taken him five minutes longer than usual. Smegging traffic! He thought.

He powered down the car and exited the vehicle, slamming the door for good measure. His neighbors dogs satisfactorily started howling up and barking a storm in response, damned things never shut up.

Man, I just want to sit on the couch, have a few drinks and watch the Gravball game. New Zealand was playing Mordor that day and that was a game he sure as hell didn't want to miss. Planning out the rest of his day as he fished his access pen out of his pockets was a simple matter after being away for an entire month. What will I drink first I wonder? Perhaps I'll crack open a bottle of schnapps and just take it easy... Smorgas was a rather down to earth man when it came to drinks publicly but little beknownst to any but his closest allies he was quite the connoisseur of finer liquors and spirits. It'd become a hobby after he'd discovered there was better stuff to be had than just cheap beer over and over again every weekend. Not that he wouldn't drink his weight in cheap beer if he had the chance. Inserting the thin metal cylinder into the passkey slot below his door bell unlocked the door and gained him entrance into his personal castle.

The portcullis receded into either side of either doorway and he stepped inside. The familiar smell of his home wafted out accompanied by the stale of being left unoccupied for several months from his recent tour off Elysium. Another scent reached his nostrils as he hit a switch and closed his door though. One he knew all too well, like an accomplished chef identifying the exact ingredients of a stew from a single whiff. 'Is that whiskey?'

“What the frell!?” His living room was thoroughly ransacked. Smorgas walked slowly into the room, taking in the extensive damage. Every drawer was flung open with its contents lying in disarray on the floor. His 50 inch NanotecK 3hreeD screen had fallen out of its mount to lean against the wall. It now sat on the floor with a large crack in the display. He saw more damage throughout the house leading all the way into the kitchen and down the hall. Smorgas stared wordlessly around the immediate area at the unsolicited chaos and destruction that had become his living room. His eye twitched as he spotted one atrocity in particular.

There were liquor and beer bottles everywhere, a lot of them. All of them empty.

Smorgas was too angry to move, so he stood incredibly still in the middle of the room taking several deep breaths instead.

“I’m gone for one month,” He said aloud, deceptively calm. “ONE month! And some punk breaks in To MY HOME,” He was shouting now. “AND DESTROYS EVERYTHING I LOVE.” Furious, Smorgas picked up one of the empty beer bottles by his feet and chucked it at a wall. It smashed into a million tiny shards that only added to the squalid condition of the room.

Smorgas was breathing heavily again, after a few minutes of standing stock still smoldering he got a hold of himself. He started thinking rationally again albeit slowly. How the hell did someone break in and not set off the security? He had standard stuff, cameras and the like. Alarms to notify the authorities. He prayed that they had at least gotten some footage, because he would track down the sonuvabi-.

He paused picking up an armful of bottles and looked at his back door. It was a glass affair that slid giving a clear view of his pristine backyard and in ground pool. They were small of course but he'd been happy with them. That wasn't what caught his attention though. He drew one finger down a part of the cracked glass. It bore the efforts of someone trying to smash it. 'That definitely should've set off security, what the hell? First things first report the break in.'

Striding across the room into the kitchen the burly man reached for the headset he had hung up next to the fridge. "Sophie babe, call the local cops would you?" A sultry female's voice answered him from somewhere in the room.

"Yes master, dialing... Connection made."

The headset buzzed twice and a voice interrupted the third. "Hello Jersey Residence Zone police department please state your calls purpose."

"Yah, I have a break in that happened while I was gone to report. My home was destroyed while I was on tour this last cycle." He threw his gaze over the room again, the kitchen floor was littered with the fridge's contents and it seemed like nothing had gone untouched.... Strangely things above the floor counters seemed untouched. He idly opened his dish cupboard and confirmed that his nice authentic ceramic plates were still there.

"Is the source location of this call the break in to be reported sir?" Smorgas confirmed the question impatiently. "One moment please," His foot tapped and his hand rapped his knuckles rapidly on the counter top while he awaited a response. "Sir there has been no report at all of a break in by your home's security system. Are you certain this is the case?"

The weapons Officer slammed his fist down on the nearest surface. "YES I'M DAMN CERTAIN IT'S THE CASE! What you think my entire damn house imploded on its own!?"

"Sir please remain calm while we do our best to help you through this. Consider this your warning as well for belligerent behavior towards an officer of the law." His eye twitched again from the cop's cocky tone of voice. This guy obviously had no respect for the fact that Smorgas was staring at a two hundred year old bottle of SCOTCH shattered on his kitchen tile floor like it was garbage!

The cop continued unhindered by Smorgas' desperately withheld explosion of curses. "We'll need you to send in your security records to the station as well sir, afterwards we'll ascertain the nature of what occurred. If we determine there is reasonable suspicion of the alleged crime we will investigate further. Please also be aware that we are in no way responsible for the reacquisition of stolen items, lost property, or-" Smorgas hung up on the man growling.

The female voice from before oozed into the room unbidden. "The previous call to local law enforcement was ended abruptly, was this a mista-?"

"NO IT WASN'T A FRACKING MISTAKE." Smorgas kicked an over turned chair causing it to skid across the floor and into the living room where it struck his stained and garbage ridden couch.

"Holy shit I hate being patronized. Useless cops I cannot believe thi- and who the hell eats half a damn hot dog and leaves it on the smegging floor! Aw come ooon." The more he looked around his kitchen the more he was terrified to look at the rest of his home. All of his possessions gone or destroyed, what kind of sick sociopathic sadist would do something like this?

Aw man if it was Jeremy he's a dead man. Dead. Dead. DEAD. Smorgas dodged around bits of his home over to the house's data counsel. The screen was smashed. Great. So he couldn't watch the security videos right away. A noise came from down the hall and he turned his head in its direction. His expression didn't change. I just don't understand how anything could get in and out without setting off the ala-. Another noise louder than the first repeated itself from down his short hallway.

Oh, there is no way. There is no friggin' way. Son of a bi-, the damn burglar’s still here. He thought, as a vile grin plastered itself onto his face. Better yet, I bet this is some stupid friggin' hacker that thought he'd take full advantage of a free buffet and make himself at home. Smorgas was already considering how bad he'd hurt the bloke that had dared to intrude on his sanctuary of holy solitude.

Silently, he pulled the knife he wore on his belt from its sheathe, guns weren't legal outside of military bases. He crouched low and stepped further into the house making less noise than a mouse farting.

Another noise, he recognized it this time as a low moan, closer this time. That bastard drank all my babies, oh he's gonna pay. Yes he is isn't he Mr. knife, oh yah we're gonna make him pay. He wondered idly if he could find a place to hide a body. A weak whimper made its way out of the last door in his hallway...THE BATHROOM.

Still moving quietly the trained soldier crept up to and stood at the door, steadying his breath. Welcome to the beginning of the worst day of your life, buddy. Then, with all the force of a trained soldier, he kicked it in. It was dark and his hand shot instantly to the light switch.

Now Lieutenant Smorgas had been alive for eighty years, or eight decades and three years. He had spent most of that time in the military's defense forces. He had been subject to intensive training and had gotten the idea that as a soldier he could be killed at any moment from any number of situations drilled into his head. Explosive atmospheric decompression, radiation storms, alien incursion, insane cyborg or robot failure. Anything. And yet he excelled under the pressure, it never got to him. Thanks to his performance and strong will, he had become an Offensive measures bridge officer, a job that requires nerves of pure steel.

And after all that, he still was not prepared for what he saw in his bathroom. He could only stare slack-jawed at what lay before him. He heard a metal clang, which must have been the knife falling out of his hand and hitting the floor he thought distantly.

There was a small horse passed out in his bathtub. A small purple horse.

Its head shot up at the sound of the heavy plastic door slamming inward and blinked its eyes into the light that now filled the room. It stared at him with a confused, semi-conscious look.

...What. He rubbed his eyes and looked again.

The horse had its eyes half open and was breathing unsteadily. Then it spoke. THE HORSE THING FRELLING SPOKE.

Smorgas stood there as the mutated looking thing spewed a high pitched bout of nonsensical blather. If it was possible he'd say it sounded like it was drunk or high. He was still trying to make sense of what was going on and failing utterly. He walked up to get a closer look at the thing, his disbelief betraying his better judgement. 'This has gotta be Suraci's idea of a joke or so-' He reached one hand out to poke the somewhat disabled appearing creature.

The horse gasped, then made a face Smorgas instantly recognized.

“Oh no, Don't you dare-!“ He managed to say, but it was far too late.

The little horse vomited, and it went everywhere.

Smorgas hadn't waited to get to his headset from kitchen, instead the pseudo digi-orchestral beat of Suraci's weird ring tone rang through his home as he hurriedly tried to reach his so called friend. With his arms free he stripped his shirt off himself and hurled into angrily into the laundry hamper. At least it would have landed in the hamper had it not been tipped over. The vomit covered shirt instead splatted against the wall noisily.

"RRRaaaarg! Suraci pick the hell up!"

"Whoa not so loud man. What's up?" His friend answered coolly from the other end. 'Oh he's good, playing innocent like he has no idea. He isn't getting out of this now though.'

"Don't friggin' play stupid with me man you're the only friend I have with a spare key to my damn place and what do I come home to damn find when I get here?" Smorgas finished pulling on the new muscle shirt and jabbing a sausage like finger towards his bathroom, as if his bridge partner could see him do so. "A GOD DAMNED PURPLE HORSE... Freaky mutant thing, dammit!"

The purple perpetrator was looking up at him sadly from where it lay in the tub, two of its leg were hanging out as though it had been trying to climb out.

Smorgas donned his best scowl and his eyebrows drew in in a rage. "Why a damned horse man? My whole house is trashed! ...I think it drank my boose too!" The other end of the line was pure unadulterated laughter that echoed through the hallway.

"Alright man, good one. Purple horse drank your boose, didn't think you were starting the party early dude... Look if you get a couple girls over there that can put up with your weird I'll still join you alright?" He broke back into a fit of laughter and Smorgas yelled with futility back at him to shut up.

"Sure man I'll shut up, hey tell the horse I said hi alright man? Hah!" There was a quick click and the line cut out. Sophie's voice came over the speaker.

"The call is ended, maste-" Smorgas solidly punched the wall hard enough to cut off the machine's statement.

Glowering at the floor he tried to make sense of everything. Well, it looks like dumb arse isn't responsible then, probably. Smorgas had never known Suraci to not own up to a prank. He peeked around the corner at the thing that had now made its way out of the tub. It swayed a great deal but managed to remain standing with obvious difficulty. The purple creature made more of its sweet sounding noises that seemed to string together just like words and looked up at him with its head ducked.

"What the friggin' hell, how'd you get in here... and what are you." He looked at it with stark confusion, and maybe a little bit of worry. The soldier had no idea how it had gotten in the house or what it was... Seemed harmless though, unless you counted the state of his house which it was the obvious destroyer of. Smorgas' face turned into a sneer when it sat heavily back on its behind in the middle of his bathroom. As he continued to watch the thing he thought carefully about explanations.

It has to just be some kind of novelty pet. Genetic engineering was a common enough thing he knew. Smorgas had seen lots of commercials advertising Mastiff sized Pomeranian dogs or a pink furred cat. Staring at the horse that breathed heavily in his bathroom, obviously from a hang over and probable lingering drunkenness, Smorgas paid close attention to its overly large eyes. They were easily its most disturbing features. But the all to human expressions it seemed to wear were a close second.

This thing's a regular Frankenstein's monster. Curiously, the animal held a hoof up to its head, then suddenly groaned in yet another all to human fashion. Smorgas' eyes climbed into his hairline. He gulped, the man could've sworn the thing had sounded like any of the girl's he took out with him on occasion just then.

"Whaaaat the f-"

BLRRGGLE

"Aw come on! Knock that the hell off would you!" Smorgas threw an arm gesturing at the bathroom floor and the horse looked up at him in response. "I'm not cleaning that up so you better learn to real damn quick or...!"

Oh damn, that's freaky. Smorgas cut off taking in the emotion on that horse's face. Like a person, it was looking at him in fear he realized. Yeah that was undeniably irrefutably fear of him expressed in its eyes and mouth. After a moment his face shifted from freaked out to a mixture of weirded out and amused. "Heh... Okay then." Frell it he didn't know what to think, worst prank ever. The purple animal wiped its dripping mouth after a moment and spit on the floor.

"No by all means continue to desecrate my house frell it yah know, I bet that don't taste good at all anyway huh." Smorgas threw up his hands and walked away from the door trying to figure out what to do next. He was starting to get pissed again remembering that this thing had probably drank all of his boose. Another thought occurred to him.

"Nah there's no way," He'd had an idea. Smorgas whirled around going back to the bathroom, the horse stumbled out of the doorway as he did so to land with a thud against the opposite wall. "Whoa, uh take it easy." Licking his lips he considered his thought again, and just how nuts it might be.

Holding a hand under his chin in thought he watched it watch him. "Can you understand me?"

The creature stared up at him before looking around the hall back down its length and then into the bathroom again.

"I'll take that as a no..." Shaking his head the man huffed his idea shot down. "Alright, it's obviously some science experiment or new thing I haven't heard about before. Even if it can't understand me it's capable of thinking and... Opening beer cans and liquor bottles so it's gotta be intelligent still. That means it could be a lesser AI or-" Smorgas' thought train came to a screeching halt. It would be better to say someone dropped a mountain on the railroad tracks and every single passenger on board turned into a red bloody pulp from which no one stood a chance of surviving.

Couldn't understand him. Spoke a strange language. Big weird bug eyes. But most importantly, it was a little horse. That rang a bell.

"What the shit is an alien doing in my bath tub..." The intruder's eyes fluttered weakly, and it puked again this time on the hall rug. "WHAT THE SHI-" Smorgas yelled in frustration and his new guest passed out.

Three hours later he was still cleaning up, he'd scrubbed the floors, he'd scrubbed the tub. Smorgas had scrubbed the walls and even the furniture. Suffice it to say he was sick of scrubbing and had been starting about three hours ago. Bags of trash were piled up by his shattered back patio window and his home was beginning to look back in order.

The horse, which he had gained the sneaking suspicion was from a planet Elysium had abruptly left behind four manifold jumps ago, had been confirmed by a quick search to be just what he'd thought. An alien

"Great." His home mostly now in order, the big stuff at least, it would take days to fix, replace and clean everything he was sure. Why the hell had it rampaged my whole dang place anyway? He filed the thought away along with all of his others and his questions for it. Yes he was going to ask it questions, knowing that it wasn't a defective piece of commercialized gimmick got him to that conclusion quick. He was going to interrogate the little hell raiser. And It had better have some damn good answers too. Smorgas didn't know where it came from or why but he was sure as hell going to find out.

The soldier squared up against the critter that still laid flat on his dining space floor. It was an extension of the kitchen rather than its own room; he wasn't filthy rich, after all. Earlier the man had grabbed it by its front hooves and dragged it, purposefully through its own vomit, and into the open space where he could keep an eye on it while cleaning. It hadn't been heavy at all, maybe around a hundred and fifty pounds or a little bit more. "Sophie, did you get a good listen on this thing earlier?" The female voice for his house answered breathily.

"Yes, it matches with sound records of expedition 542-"

"Right great, is there a translator for it?" He was referring to the horse of course.

"No archived translation of requested sound file was found. A neural pattern reader will be required to-" He threw a hand up to his head and groaned. What he heard was just fantastic. If they'd encountered an alien race, why wouldn't the damn government work to translate the gibberish that the googly eyed freaks spoke? Were they hostile or something, and we just steered clear of the things? That would explain why he hadn't heard more about them and if he recalled correctly, why they'd left so quickly. He wondered briefly, How on Luna could something this...harmless looking, ever be a threat to us. That planet had been colonization compatible too, what made us leave it...?

Smorgas recalled waiting to know if the fleet would be going out, if he'd be ordered to board the Red Willow and escort ships for the usual mining or harvesting operations. It had been his rotation on board it those few months ago, but no call came and he ended up spending a lot of time at the pool hall on base with Suraci and Darrick. His pile of questions only got bigger the more he stared at the purple horse looking alien, breathing unsteadily on his kitchen floor.

He knelt down beside it. The critter in question really was strange as hell looking he thought. On its vibrantly, almost painful to look at purple coat of hair was a weirdly dyed spot. It was a picture of grapes and a strawberry. And the weird gets weirder... Why would someone dye that on it? He mused. It was already strange enough that it appeared so much like a horse in form. Even more bizarre its... mane, he remembered it was called, looked freakishly like human hair. Its tail had an equal amount of poof to it

Reaching out a single hand he stroked it with the back of his palm. Dang, He took a handful of the mane. This stuff is friggin soft. His mouth gaped. Forget not being coarse at all, it's almost like this stuff was conditioned.

The thing's hoof twitched and moved up to its strangely shaped head. One big eye flew open and rested on Smorgas. Its mouth drew down into a terrified, open look.

Smorgas was to caught by surprise to appropriately react. "Uh, hey." His own eyes were wide from its suddenly sober reactions. The distinct feeling that it was about to scre-

Huaah-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIHHHHHHHHHHHH

-am crossed the mans mind. Smorgas' hands flew up to his ears immediately.

"Frell it you stupid thing shut u-!" A really solid hard object collided with his forehead, knocking him back on his rear. His sight spun and he glared up at the creature scrabbling over the top of his couch away from him.

I should've hog tied it. Regretting not restraining the deceptively calm and wasted creature Smorgas stood up in a rush to make sure it didn't break anything else. As if hearing his thoughts of worry the horse brandished a coffee mug in its hoof and hurled it at him from across the room. Snarling he dodged the object and it smashed against his already shattered window behind him. Another article of Smorgas' home, his cigar box; flew at him next. That he tried to catch. 'How the smegging hell is it even grabbing things!?'

The horse gasped as he snatched his (thank the stars) unopened box of cigars out of the air with a hand. The respite lasted only a moment though and it lifted a chair above its head with both of its front legs.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Face twisted in anger, Smorgas did what he did in any fight. Flexed every muscle he had at his command and set the stupid punk trying to tussle with him with his most rage filled look possible.

It worked. His opponent cried out in fear and wobbled under the weight of the object before dropping it and falling back on its butt. It stared at him a moment in shock, but then it started crying.

Aw what the hell. Smorgas frowned. It was a very feminine cry too. That struck home on some very powerful instincts and feelings Smorgas had about hurting women. Straightening, he held back, aghast at what was playing out in front of him. Hesitantly, he walked forward and tried to calm it down...her down, he supposed. Would aliens even have genders?

"Hey come on, I just didn't want you to peg me with any more of my stuff, alright? Just chill out." Smorgas tried to approach it and walked slowly around the couch. The horse continued crying and wailing then collapsed into its arms...or front legs, onto the ground. Man, those things look like freaky arms that end in flat colored stumps. He tried not to let his face portray any of his unsettled or freaked out thoughts. Only a calming demeanor, last thing he wanted was it breaking more of his stuff. Maybe I can get it locked in the garage...

Smorgas felt like a right monster the way it was reacting to him, he crouched lower to try and undo the intimidation damage from before. "Hey come on, shush up there's no need t-"

All at once the thing grinned up wickedly and spun around, facing away from him.

"Oh shi-!" Legs flew out from behind it and Smorgas dodged to one side, he caught part of the sudden sneak attack on his left shoulder. Unavoidably he crashed into his side table in the living room, crushing it. The little horse barreled down on him already, screaming in its deceptively sweet sounding voice which was now a snarling, guttural war cry. "OH YOU WANNA FIGHT! FINE, YOU GOT A DAMN FIGHT!" He answered back to it. While yelling, a hoof came down and socked him in his jaw before he got his guard up.

Throwing up his own legs, Smorgas pushed on its chest, hurling the horse away from him onto the couch. The alien's look of surprise as it flew backwards four feet in the air was priceless. He leaped up and threw a practiced flying kick after her. His opponent gasped from where it landed and dodged just enough for his boot to only clip her side. Even more unfortunately, the force of the kick knocked over the top heavy sofa and threw the man into a pile with the hostile alien menace on the other side.

All the while screams and shouts and curses were flung between the two as they beat against one another in a confusing tussle of limbs across the living room floor, into the kitchen and back again. Finally, Smorgas got the upper hand and put the thing into a head lock on his living room's carpet.

"YEAH! I GOT YOU YOU LITTLE FREAKY FUR COVERED...THING!" He'd thought himself victorious too soon though and received two hoof blows to the head, one irritatingly hitting the tender wound from earlier that day. "GAAAAHH Damn you, you stupid who-!" The thing screamed back at him and struggled, flailing and throwing its body around. Recognizing the fight it still had in it, he locked its front legs down this time with his other arm, abandoning the half nelson. Just as quick he moved his legs around it and held its back ones in restraint with his own powerful lower limbs.

This director damned thing is frelling strong! Smorgas stared up at the ceiling a moment wonderingly at the thought. Still, getting tired would take a lot more than this for the man. He didn't need to catch his breath, but the horse held fast in his grip was panting heavily from the fight. Doesn't have inter control then, it could still have a neural interface tho- Smorgas would've face palmed if his arms were free.

If it was an alien it had to have an I.D. to even be here. That meant a neural patch like Sophie had tried to tell him. Unless it's here illegally. Not gonna write that off just yet either... But there were no signs of a break in, and no one would dump something in his home randomly...

Smorgas groaned loudly and the creature stopped struggling abruptly in response, before gibbering more of its unrecognizable dialogue. His mind clicked as he reached the only other logical conclusion which he'd been slowly working toward this entire afternoon. The puzzle pieces fit together nicely now and he had finally arrived at his answer to where the alien had come from; while in the midst of his battle royal and the purple enemy locked in his grasp no less.

"Mother..." He spoke quietly out loud, contempt darkly shadowing his voice. The poofy maned enemy began screaming at him again between its panting breathes.

She gasped raggedly attempting to draw in another breath. The grip that encircled her neck was like iron. Berry Punch's eyes rolled as she looked for something, anything to help in escaping her captor's clutches.

"CELESTIA BURN YOU Rrrg-!" Her teeth snapped. "LUNA BANISH YOU TO THE MO- RRRGG!" The volatile anger she felt grew as her thoughts and fears from waiting in this inescapable—if homely—prison came back to her. For three days Berry had been trapped, not knowing where she was or why. She could only play back through her last memories before awakening here... But now, she was just pissed.

"AH!" Another voice entered the room and surprised her. Berry's eyes cast warily all around the room at the thought of her opponent getting back up. It was different from the pasty white faced thing's voice that held her, though. The language it spoke made absolutely no sense to her either, but that wasn't important right now. She strained her hind legs and wriggled, still trying to get free. It seemed distracted while talking to whoever else was now in the room. Berry tried to take advantage of that, but the thing held on stubbornly. Whatever this horrifying looking monster was, it was strong AND flexible.

Oh Luna, I hope it's not carniv- Berry's mind locked up as she remembered clearly the strange red colored substances she'd found in the ice box. That couldn't have been meat... Could it? Panicking again, she forgot all about the voice and renewed her escape attempts.

"LET ME GO LETMEGOLETMEGO YOU BIG STUPID HAIRLESS FREEEEAK!" Berry shrieked her head off as images of her on a spit, being turned over a slow burning fire while flabby, fur-less monstrosities danced around it, played through her head.

Berry clenched her teeth, and her eyes shot open as she began being shaken furiously. Panting, she tried to look at the thing indignantly, craning her head back as much as she could in an attempt to see it; which wasn't much. "How dare you-! When I get free I'm bucking you SO hard where the sun don't shine you'll be walking with a limp the rest of your LIFE. YOUR CHILDREN WON'T BE ABLE TO PEE STRAIGHT YOU HEAR- MHHHMmm!" Something got shoved into her mouth roughly. She tried to look up at the creature again, fury burning in her eyes, then spat out the pillow and made to yell some more.

Berry Punch closed her mouth as it raised another cloth article threateningly with its free arm in front of her. Her head momentarily free, she tossed it back instead of just staying quiet and felt it hit something hard. She heard a yelp from behind her, then a snarl and grinned at her success. Her neck was again clamped down upon by its thick arms. "Yeah that's right! Taste Equestrian willpower you big dumb ape!" It sort of looked like a monkey to the mare. A male as well, now that she thought about it judging by its- his thickness and build.

He spoke more of his gibberish at her from where he held her in a solid grip and yelled as well.

Berry thought it had been directed at her and was ready to respond, when that other voice answered him... It oddly sounded female, despite the bizarre, harsh language it spoke. Where is the new speaker? The monster didn't seem to be speaking to anyone.

Berry clenched her teeth again fear repainting her face. Maybe it's a ghost!? Then she frowned and her face flattened. No, now that's just stupid. Suddenly, the walls buzzed and she tossed her head around looking for the source. What the heck is that!? A giant bug? Oh Celestia this place is horriblllllle!

Yet another voice entered the room. Now who!? This one sounded decidedly motherly in tone. Oh no, he's calling his family in from outside and they're all gonna cook and eat me! Berry Punch stared around the room terrified waiting for a knife wielding monkey lady to appear any moment to gut her.

The creature spoke back to the voice calmly.

Looking around, Berry still couldn't see anyone else. What the hay is going on here...

Abruptly, the creature behind her shouted loudly, eliciting certain alien sounding words and noises. The female voice, seemingly pouring out of the walls, took on an apologetic tone, but then snapped to a likewise aggressive one.

Berry's captor sighed, and started patting her head. Her eyes rolled up to look at the bizarre, clawed thing stroking her mane unbidden. "Eeeeee." She cried out fearfully.

What the hay is it doooing! The hand—as she now recognized it—withdrew quickly and again without warning took up its place holding her head and neck still. Darnit that had been my chance! She grimaced into the strange room that had been her prison and began accepting her fate. She would be food, and there was nothing she could do. This place was truly her own personal Tartarus.

The biggest reason for that being, that she knew it was now devoid of any alcohol.

Smorgas had been staring into space absently without a view screen to see the person he was talking to...that person being his mother. He'd jerked himself aware at touching the thing's hair though, and pulled his hand back to where it could keep the horse from hitting his face again or worse.

"Mom, look, I understand alright? But I DON'T WANT IT! I don't care if you rescued it from a bunch of unscrupulous characters at the auction! I don't care if you think I'm lonely! I sure as hell DO NOT care that you think you're too busy to take of it on your own!" Smorgas was exasperated at actually finding out that his mom had used her key to leave a wild animal alien thing in his house.

"Now you look here mister, your mother went to a lot of trouble to get that poor dear out of harm's way! And that it is a she and an intelligent creature, so show some respect! Now, I'm sorry that the stasis didn't hold until you got back from your job, I can't explain that. But it's time that you started taking some responsibility in your personal life, not just your professional one you hear me! All you ever do is party and waste time!" The man growled, the pony as his mother had called it struggled again under his grip.

"Mom... Listen to me, I don't want to get married. I don't want to have kids. I also understand that this is mostly just another one of your hair brained, last minute decisions gone wrong and you don't want to take care of your own damned PET! But NOTHING and I mean nothing is going to change my life, you got it!?"

His mother gasped in response from his retort. "Wh- SMORGAS! How can you talk like that way about her, and to me!" The shouting match continued with no end in sight. "She's not a pet, she's a citizen and you're her lawful sponsor young man! Honestly, how can you insult her so much when she's right there and awake?" He grunted and felt his muscles tighten in fury.

"Like I've been trying to tell you, Cora, this thing hasn't been speaking friggin' standard! I don't know what it's speaking! Has it even got a neural patch?" Something croaked.

"Of course it does! I- They maybe didn't set the language when I picked her up on accident...? They were a little seedy... But still, you could very easily fix that, I left her paper work and everything else in plain sight on the kitchen table!"

Right, the kitchen table that had been flipped over when I got smegging home. A low whine reached his ears and he looked down. "Oh shi- Sorry." The pony erupted out a breath of air and started sputtering. "Got distracted, my bad." It yelled back up at him to answer his apology.

"Smorgas, look honey, I'm sorry again that she tore apart your house. I was simply hoping she could meet you first since-" He was readying another rebuttal already when the comm link became garbled for a moment.

"Mother?... Cora? You there?" He waited a moment longer the room eerily quiet. Except for the pony growling in his grasp.

"Smorgas baby I need to -o the--'s more tr----e it seems, okay? T--e care of -er and prom-se me you'll sta- safe! Lo-- --u!-" The strange static cut out and the comm line clicked, ending. Sophie's voice called out quietly soon after, confirming that the call was indeed over.

Smorgas held a hand up to his head tiredly and groaned. "What the hell man. Just what the smegging he- AAGAAAH!"

The pony's teeth chomped down fiercely onto his arm.

After Berry had bit his arm, a cold, metal object had been shoved up under her throat. Only frightened by the feeling for a moment, she'd started screaming at the monster again before it flashed the object in front of her.

It was the cruelest looking kitchen knife that Berry had ever seen. It had a serrated series of metal teeth under the blade and a ridged back of triangles on the other side from that. She'd gulped and ceased moving after studying it. Eventually, after using more of its strange language and making several disturbing noises that might have been considered by it to be soothing, it let her go; slowly.

Berry sat still, watching it go. She had wanted to flee immediately once it was walking away, but there was no where to go or hide. This place must be its home after all. The thing waved its hand at her. He motioned her after himself and made a point of setting its weapon down on the kitchen's counter.

Berry thought about attacking him again instantly, but...didn't. Instead, she merely quirked an eyebrow in confusion. The thing was standing on his two back legs in the most freakish fashion Berry could imagine and was glaring back at her, all while fiddling with some grey book-thing it had dug out of a small, brown metal-case.

"I've gotta get away..." Berry held a hoof to her muzzle as she thought deeply out loud. "He must leave again eventually and next time I won't be too drunk to miss my chance of escape."

"Yeah, I definitely won't see that coming at all. You've sure outsmarted me." Berry's eyes shot wide at the other voice that had spoke clear as day Equestrian. Immediately looking up, she realized the source of the familiar language; the bizarre two legged creature.

"You can talk!? I mean- You speak Equestrian?"

"I'll be damned, that crazy gibberish you were spouting was a language," He looked half wonderingly, half annoyed down at the box thing. "I've got no clue what to do now." He began laughing a little madly.

For a moment, Berry thought she had been forgotten entirely. "HEY, TAKE ME HOME RIGHT NOW! Or so help me I swear on Celestia's FLANK that I will stomp your teeth so far back into your sun burned skull that they'll need a telescope to find the zebra cursed things!" She breathed heavily and snorted, her tirade now over. When no response came, the mare inhaled to start up again.

Berry stopped when she noticed the human's expression focused on her. I've never seen anyone angry at me like that before, oh wow. She gulped, her resolve weakened. "I uhm, demand that-" The anger she saw on his face faded somewhat, as quickly as it had come, and he turned to open a pantry.

"Freaking talking horse alien, man... I can't believe this." He grumbled out, the eyes of her flat faced foe were practically shut from how hard his face started squinting.

"HORSE!? Horse! I'm not a horse! I'm a pony, and don't you dare go insulting me whe-" The purple prisoner had started storming up to her captor, before the tall creature slammed its hand on the kitchen counter and grabbed for the knife again. Berry Punch froze where she stood.

"You drank all my boose."

!

"Y-You foal napped me!"

"I FOAL NAPPED SHI- Foal napped? You mean like kidnapped?"

Berry gasped at his gall. "OH, SO NOW I'M A GOAT!? What gives you the right to insult me after all you've done!?" She didn't think less of the other species he'd named, this biped was just making her angry. "Well, you listen up and listen good you big stupid monkey, I've had it with being a prisoner and I want to go home. Now!" Berry snorted again and pawed the ground, the knife forgotten.

"You don't wanna try me right now, HORSE." He slammed the knife into a sheath at his waist with gusto.

"Well you better give me some hay blessed answers then buddy. Or one of us isn't walking out of this room." Berry stamped in front of the exit for emphasis as to what she meant. "Just try me."

It held up its hands slowly and Berry watched its gesture, confused, but it was too far to do anything so-

Kccrack crack

Berry winced and flinched back from the biped, the noise causing her body to betray her. Were those its bones just now? Eeeew!

"I'll warn you again, HORSE. Keep your home wrecking mouth shut or you're gonna get exactly what you're askin' for. I won't be gentle either." He waited for a moment for her answer, but when she gave none he continued. Berry stood in her aggressive stance, just waiting. "Get this through your freakish head right away, because I won't repeat myself. I'm not going to tell you shit until you clean up the rest of the filth and mayhem you've caused in my home."

Berry's eye twitched at every intended insult and demand.

Just who does he think he is-!? No, Berry Punch don't play no games. She relaxed completely and stood up from her aggressive crouch. "So I just gotta clean my mess?" Berry strode away from blocking the exit and stepped lightly into what she presumed was the dining area.

The two legged creature relaxed as well. "Yeah, and then I'l-"

"Like... THIS" Berry bucked with all her might into one offending chair. Her hooves struck home and the strange material shattered from the blow and then more so as it struck the wall. The big thing that she'd been facing didn't waste a second to respond in kind.

"THAT'S SMEGGING IT." He charged her, then the fight was rejoined and hooves and fists flew.

The LRRPD held their ground at the choke point. A large series of stairs over looking the spacious halls of his subterranean home's entryway.

Block:Atlantis was overrun. Unprecedentedly a storm of every creature imaginable had apparently poured out of every lad under the Fourth Sanctuary. That wasn't the worst of it, in the midst of trying to get that debacle under control something else had reared its ugly, carapaced face at them. These sick things pressed against the moon region's stalwart quick response law enforcement that had been rallied to deal with it. Though the Block was his jurisdiction the Captain leading the men fighting knew this shouldn't be their affair.

'Where is the damned military?' The Captain of the small department had never seen or heard of anything like this during his long career but he knew this shouldn't be just his rodeo. They had their riot suits equipped and a steady barrage of gun fire from their lines streaked into the oncoming horde, but it hardly stemmed the attack they were faced with.

Teeth gnashed and roars sounded from the alien creatures that had somehow turned up out of no where, and decimated an entire section of the moon. They no longer had communication with anyone inside of the section of lunar infrastructure. Civilian or government affiliate alike. He knew that alien species were studied and research was conducted outside of public eye. Privately, commercially and scientifically, not every one knew, but he was aware of it. Atlantis had been a linch pin in the field of gene therapy in the science community for a long time. It lead to his home region being a prosperous community and one the government praised often.

But, he also knew that there were restrictions. Large numbers of specimen like this weren't permitted to be amassed or kept. Nor were creatures that could cause so much damage. It just wasn't permitted.

This can't just be the result of someone smuggling a pet past customs. He grimaced at the sight of more creatures flooding out of the hallways to join the crowd assaulting his men and women.

The shock troop suited man watched on as a large BULWARK-4 mech suit had its legs buckled from underneath it after being engulfed in the horde. His front line was collapsing from the pressure. They'd held onto this position for nearly half an hour but reinforcements had yet to show themselves.

"What's the damn status on back up!" He yelled into his helmet's communication link, all around him the crash of gunfire and the whizzing of laser blasts sounded off. His outfit wasn't suited for this.

Headquarters answered him, the man on the other end of the comm device sounded panicked. "Sir, reports are streaming in from everywhere across the secret news net and defense channels! Every lower level has been placed under lock down or they're being evacuated. The lines are jammed with emergency streams. We haven't been able to get any word here about reinforcements from our chairman or the Directo-!"

The Captain knelt behind one of the gatling positions and screamed back into the mic of his helmet.

"YOU GET A HOLD OF THAT BOARD OF SUITS AGAIN AND TELL THEM THAT WE CAN'T HOLD HERE! WE NEED MILITARY SUPPORT OR WE ARE GOING TO LOSE THIS POSITION, do I make myself clear!?" The operations officer stutteringly acknowledged him and the call ended.

"It's as if Pandora's box has been let wide opened." Gore sprayed into the air as he aimed over the barrier with the weapon he was allowed only under emergencies, and head shotted one of the charging carapaced creatures amongst the oncoming crowd. At least he thought it had been its head.

Smorgas wouldn't have thought it possible, but somehow his home had turned into an even bigger disaster area than before. Furniture was shattered, lighting was shattered, metal had shattered, and he didn't even think that was possible until seeing it himself. Still, he felt oddly satisfied with all of what had happened, as did Berry. It had been a good tussle.

Berry Punch sat beside him, massaging one badly bruised rear leg against the living room's plaster wall. They reclined quietly, surveying the damage. Wow, and I thought I'd created a mess before this guy had cleaned it all up.

The human sat with one likewise bruised and bitten arm hung over his left knee, his other leg extended out. Lazily, he took another swig out of the seventy year aged bottle of whiskey. It wasn't his best stock, but it was the only thing Smorgas'd found amongst the ruins of his once proud collection that hadn't been broken or drunk already by his...guest.

"You sure can throw a punch." The human held his jaw in those weird palmed things he had instead of hooves as he spoke to her.

"I didn't throw any punch...?" Berry responded awkwardly, but thought the question through. "Is that slang in your language for hitting something?" He nodded absently from where he was seated before taking another swig of his drink.

"So," Berry coughed in the awkward air that was beginning to resettle. "What's your name then?" She had collapsed from exhaustion during the fight, much to her irritation. The human—as he'd named his own race—had the fighting stamina of ten ponies. Something that as an Earth pony—even a rather unfit one such as Berry—grudgingly acknowledged to herself after losing.

"Sandwich." The ponies head rotated to look incredulously at the weird-looking creature.

"Your name's sandwich? Seriously?" His head snapped over to look at her face in shock and irritation.

"How did yo-? Grah, stupid multilingual translating piece of.... My name is not sandwich, I mean, it means sandwich, but in a dead language we don't use anymore... My folks claim to be-" He shook his head and stood up, clearly annoyed now about something. Berry watched him go, confused. Cautiously, she slid a careful hoof over towards the bottle that Sandwich had left behind. It wasn't careful enough though, the man snatched the bottle up and brought it with him. "Yeah, you've had your fair share. You don't get a drop, horse."

Berry glared up angrily at the tall creature. "My name's Berry Punch, not that you deserve to know." She could already feel their truce melting away again as tensions rose.

"Punch? Like the drink? Huh, it suits you." Berry huffed and crossed her forelegs in front of her, unsure as to whether she could take that as an insult. The human stallion walked out of sight around the corner to his kitchen and came back a moment later.

"My name is Smorgas." Berry raised an eyebrow at him.

"So why didn't you say so before, Sandwich." His eye twitched and Berry grinned, having struck the nerve she'd hoped was there. "Were you just so hungry you couldn't help yourself?"

"Keep it up donkey punch see what it gets you." He smiled as if he'd said something exceedingly clever.

"What's with you and racism...?" The purple pony gave him a disgusted look and diverted her attention across the room again.

Smorgas' voice took on an apologetic tone and he leaned against the wall again tiredly. "... Yeah I guess you wouldn't understand that one anyway. My bad, I don't mean to sound racist towards you or your fellow...uhm, horse species."

"Equines. we're called equines as a whole, pegasus ponies, unicorns and alicorns included." He grunted acknowledgement to her correction. After a minute, she spoke up again. "Try me." The human look over the top of his drink at her questioningly. "You said I wouldn't understand whatever that was a second ago, try me. I need to figure out what's going on, rather than just ask every obvious question there is to ask like... Where am I, Why am I here... What the hay is going on, maybe you can cover all that huh? Assuming you even plan to. As far as I can tell so far, you're either dumber than I first thought or as clueless as I am."

The man tiredly stared at Berry from the corner of his eye as she went on. He didn't speak immediately, instead pausing and considering his words. Finally, he sighed and stared at the ceiling while extending his arm over to the pony beside him, the still half full bottle of whiskey clenched in his fist. "Here, you're gonna need this... Berry was it?" He glanced out the corner of his eye again to watch the hor- pony nod and take the bottle from his grasp. His face almost betrayed his surprise as he watched her do so effortlessly. How the blazes is she holding that without hands? She seemed to just have it there in the air beside her hoof. I'll ask about that later...

"Alright, well, I'll start at the beginning of all this for you, as I figure it..." Smorgas rubbed one hand behind his clean shaven head, considering carefully how to start. Berry Punch rolled over to sit more comfortably on her hind quarters as decent, normal ponies do. She wasn't sure how the human found that other position comfortable at all. "So first off I just got up a moment ago to manually make you hear my name the right way. The thing letting us talk right now, so to speak, isn't exactly perfect. But, on to what you really want to know... You weeeere... what you said before, I guess, foal napped. Not by me though, but likely by other humans, then sold to whoever would pay enough money."

Berry's mouth dropped open disbelievingly.

"And you bought me!? Why!? Oh Celestia, you aren't going to...." Berry reclined in fear a little, instinct and her thought train causing her body to betray her, despite it probably being unlikely given recent circumstances. She gulped audibly nonetheless. "Eat me!?" The human named Smorgas blinked several times. The split second passed his bored demeanor inflated and he smiled at her, toothily as well, but in obvious amusement. A moment later he started laughing uncontrollably. "Stop laughing, that isn't funny!" She stamped a hoof. Angrily Berry took another drink from the bottle that she had set down beside her. Could've sworn there was more in this when he gave it to me...

His roar eventually simmered down to a chuckle. "Heh, sorry. No we don't eat, equines or whatever? I suppose we do eat meat though. So you better watch out!" He leaned over and snapped his teeth menacingly. Berry scowled at took a swipe at him with her hoof.

"You jusht try it buster! I'll break this bottle over your big dumb...moldy hay-filled flat face!"

"Psssch, better a flat face than a mug as ugly as yours, nice huge googly bug-eyes by the way."

"My eyes aren't big or-r, I'm not ugly!"

Smorgas leaned further back from the poofy haired purple pony as she began to bawl and cry before him. "Yeah I'm not falling for that act twice, horse face." The man may be instinctively sympathetic towards her voice, but this was no lady, no matter what she sounded like. He wasn't gullible either. True to his suspicions her sob act broke immediately into her giggling wildly. "Mhmm I thought as much."

Berry's giggling took a one eighty and she looked up at him angrily. She practically spat at him through clenched teeth. "Oh cram it muscle melon. I've known stallions like you before. All brawn but veeery tiny brains." Smirking, Berry turned her nose up at him while swaying slightly, "Aaand!" She waved a hoof around for emphasis. "You still haven't answered all my questions! Sho hop. To it." She looked back down heatedly towards him frowning. They scowled at one another with a mutual hate that burned through the thick atmosphere of insults.

Smorgas finally spoke up again after a moment. "Right, well that was most of it. You're on our world now, not whatever planet it was they took you from." He watched her face twitch and deepen into actual sadness as she listened. "And for whatever reason my mother was actually the one that bought you, I think she outbid someone that didn't strike her as a good person. She does weird stuff like that. It seems she dumped you on me as well. When aliens want to come aboard Elysium for whatever reason, they can be sponsored. So she set you up with that." Smorgas noticed her lip quivering. Berry was also trying to speak, her mouth opening and closing. "Come on knock that off... What are you trying to say?"

"B-but...! When can I go home?" Studying the wall meticulously for as long as possible seemed like the next best decision for Smorgas in his inebriated state as the all too human sounding pony hiccuped beside him. "Hey! HEY! Come on, tell me when can you get me home? You can't keep me here, that's slavery!"

Gee I sure wish I hadn't been elected to baby sit, but no, that would demand that I have relatives that aren't friggin' nuts. Rolling onto the balls of his feet and standing again dizzily Smorgas walked up to his over turned recliner to right it. "You can't go home, where ever that was. It's too far away and except for a few flagships and privately owned freighters, only Elysium has a manifold powerful enough to reach your planet, I'm sure. This is your home now, at least until I can give you to someone else anyway..." He grumbled out lastly. "But even after that Elysium is-" Without warning... A glass bottle sped through the air to crack him in the back of his head. Behind it, Berry stood, her eyes blazing. "GAH! Alright that's it." He rounded on the pony behind him.

"LET ME OUT!" Berry bucked the metal door again in the pitch black room. She hadn't been able to find a light switch, fireflies, candles or even a lantern anywhere in the darkness. "Please let me out! I'm sorry I hit you again I j-just..." The pony collapsed quietly and sat with only her thoughts for company. He didn't really mean that I can't go home ever did he? I... I have a life in Ponyville, family... I couldn't have been poached like some wild parasprite for being kept as a side show attraction.

Her hoof found something to knock about in the darkness, so she did just that with whatever it was. Isolated in the dark all Berry could do was think, and think and knock around this widget and think some more. I mean what about Pina, Oh Luna who'll take care of her she's still too young to be on her own... Carrot Top would do it I'm sure she's always been such a gem for me and little sis but... Freezing her thoughts the pony realized she was really crying for real this time, snot mixing with tears below her muzzle.

I-I just want to go home... I can't believe this is happening to me. I WAS JUST THERE! I WAS JUST THERE IN PONYVILLE! Standing there, just shopping. How can thi- How can this have happened to me. My life? What's going to become of the family winery? What in the name of Tartarus is even going to become of me?... She still remembered seeing that strange wide shadow on the ground below her as if a cloud front had appeared out of nowhere. Upon looking it was instead being cast by some roaring metal box in the sky.

Berry Punch tried to blink away and fight back the tears, but their relentless assault on the ground continued as they streamed down her face unbidden. She hated crying, REALLY crying anyway. A promise had been made years ago to never cry again she recalled. And how long had I been able to keep that one up... A day? Hah, Celestia I am pathetic... At the very least these days she made a point not to do it so much, but it was hard sometimes. She thought for a moment about promising Pina or herself to get home one day, but after a moment she decided that would more likely doom the idea to failure... From what the human said it was already impossible. She remembered distinctly what he had spoken to her before the door had shut.

"How far? Think of it this way, remember looking at your sun back where you were from? However far you were from that, times several hundred million. Good night."

Wiping the remaining tears from her drying eyes Berry sighed tiredly, she hadn't been awake long but she was exhausted. Rolling over onto her back she threw the small object somewhere in the room to be alone and heard it clang loudly. A moment afterwards a huge crash sounded off from the darkness. The tumbling racket in the room lasted several seconds. Slowly fewer objects seemed to fall and the room was again quiet. "Oops..."

Smorgas rolled over in his bed, it was currently stripped of all the sheets and covers. They hadn't been puked on thankfully but they had distinctly smelled like girl. Now, normally for the stout guy that was a blessing come rain or shine and frankly to be expected after a long weekend of partying or successful bar hopping. But after not being in the home for a month that meant one of two possibilities. Either a college or academy fraternity had broken into his house and borrowed his sleeping arrangement for one wild night the likes of which he'd never seen.

Or that damn horse had slept in my bed for however long it had been awake. He shuddered at the thought. Freezing something's synapses and putting it in stasis was supposed to be perfect, it was just his luck that his mother had bought from the one person cheap enough to not use the real deal. In the morning I need to clean my house... Again... I have a host of furniture to replace now too. Great. Most of the stuff wasn't that old either... Oh, and I gotta sell that horse to someon- Smorgas held up on the thought and considered what the ho- what the pony had said. That it was slavery, he guessed it was. He'd never dealt with it personally, but if you had enough money you could get away with murder. That's just the way it is... You have to keep your nose clean and not piss off the wrong people on Elysium. He briefly considered the rights and anti-corruption groups that sprung up from time to time.

Poaching aliens or even bringing outside plants on board is illegal, unless you have enough money to buy the permits or bribe the right officials he guessed. Everything revolves around credits. Hell, I bet Berry Punch is worth a small fortune come to think of it. His eyes twitched as another thought occurred to him. "Just how much did you blow on the purple talking pony mom..."

Comments

[Manendorf]

Hehe and now starts the beginning of the end for Elysium if the military don't get of their asses or maybe it is already to late

Also i just realized you named a character Smörgås and i notice now......... and yes i am from sweden

[MerlosTheMad]

2088945

Knew I could count on you Mane.

[Manendorf]

2089396 Always hehe

[John Tannius]

So many threads... hopefully the weave together to make a pretty tapestry.

Oh and you seem to have a rogue italics closer that failed to close. About 2/3rds of the story is italicized.

[MerlosTheMad]

2092910

I'm quite embarrassed for leaving that like that for so long. Uggh. Hah thanks Tan.

So yes it is quite the tapestry surely even Robert Jordan/James Oliver Rigney Jr. would be impressed. I'm trying to focus on keeping the divulgence of information and events as orderly as possible. Obviously on such a wide scale while trying to communicate that it's all happening around the same time is difficult. I intend to drop more times and dates to help. I also have to keep all my facts about the world straight. Preventing plots holes and mistakes in lore is at the forefront of my focuses as well. Still more to come soon Chapter 10 is half finished! I'm working quite a bit still on Mary is a Mare and Abhorsen as well, they're shorter but not by much.

[A Space Cephalopod]

I intend to tell a fantastic tale of hope, friendship, big meaty energy weapons and bigger stompy war machines.

^ this.... This sealed the deal for me Im busy today making sure a tree doesnt fall on the house, but i shall read this.

[MerlosTheMad]

2111571

It sorely needs a neutral opinion of the pacing and particle cannons my Lord! I would appreciate the punctual and pointed pointers concerning both, not to mention the plot.

[Twisted Code]

Two frequently-drunk characters of different species fighting... Ok...
"smorgas"="sandwich"

[Silentwoodfire]

And now we have Berry Punch, and a bit more backstory on WTH is going on.

From what it appears to be, someone done goofed up and now there is a VERY strong chance that it could all go to hell in a handbasket in a hurry.

It also appears that someone high-up is keeping quiet on what exactly happened when they visited a certain planet.

Where's Discord? He's missing out on all of the fun!