Prologue
Twilight was troubled to say the least. She was pacing her bedroom worriedly trying to calm herself. She was expecting a very important book that was vital to her recent studies, and it was late getting to her.
She just didn’t know what could have happened. The mail had been delivered several hours earlier, but the book had failed to appear with the rest of the post. It just didn't make sense! It was supposed to arrive today and she hadn't received any delay notice or heard about any problem that could have caused such a delay.
However this didn't stop Twilight Sparkle from imagining the worst. At this point she was begging to worry that the order had gotten screwed up, or the book lost on the way. Also among the list of fears was bandits, book eating monsters, rouge blizzard causing the book to be used as fuel for a fire, and jealous wizards destroying all copies of the book just to set her back in her work. She was worrying Spike.
"Twilight, calm down I'm sure it's just a small delay. It'll probably be here tomorrow and you'll feel silly for getting this worked up over it."
"How could you know that? What if it never comes and I can't do my research on celestial movement. What if I don't finish and all of Equestria is set back scientifically for a thousand years!"
"I seriously doubt that's gonna happen.” Spike was starting to feel another "Twilight Panic Attack" coming on and was starting to mentally prepare a letter to the princess when there was a knock on the door.
"I'll just go get that," he said walking to the door.
When he opened the door he was surprised to see a grey pegasus with a blond mane standing beyond the threshold holding a large tome in her mouth. She appeared to be distraught and embarrassed so he assumed that she had gotten the mail mixed up and was here to apologize and make her delivery.
"Please tell me that's Twilight's book Derpy, she's driving me crazy!"
"Yeth thir," Derpy tried before spitting the book out into her fore hooves. "I mean, yes sir Spike I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you and Miss Sparkle."
"It's cool Derpy. At least you got it here in one piece before Twilight caused any chaos from over worrying."
"Yeah, heh heh. I guess she can get a little too worked up some times."
"A little? She nearly destroyed the town because she thought she'd get in trouble for a late paper! Anyway I guess I should let her know it's here." he took a deep breath before shouting up the stairs, "TWILIGHT, YOUR NEW BOOK IS HERE!!"
Twilight's ear pricked up and she nearly threw Spike out of her way in the rush to the door. "It here! The new copy of The Modern Study of the Night Sky! I can finally start my research knowing every reference work is properly up to date."
"Sorry about the delay Ms Sparkle. I just saw the title and assumed my copy had arrived early. I didn't realize my mistake until I had gotten home and took a good look at the address. I came here as soon as I noticed and I haven't even opened it."
"Wait, you ordered a copy? I didn't know you were interested in astronomy. When did that happen? Most ponies in this town think it's boring unless there's a meteor shower or comet."
"It was a hobby I picked up from my time at Manehatten University."
"You went to MU?! What was it like? What did you study?"
"It was very nice, a wonderful atmosphere of knowledge and learning! I have my degree in Ancient Languages, focusing on obscure ones before the founding of Equestria. I moved here because my brother works in the area and my sister married a constable and had a child. I didn't think it was right to go wandering the planet and miss my niece growing up. It's not what I wanted from life but seeing her all the time certainly makes up for it, as well as the artifacts that get sent in for me to decipher now and then."
"Wow, it's so great to see another scholar around. Ooh, idea . . . would you be interested in stargazing with me and sharing notes? It would be a lot of fun and give us an opportunity to get to know each other and discuss all sorts of topics like science and history!"
"That sounds wonderful Miss Sparkle."
"You can just call me Twilight."
"Alright Twilight, so what is it the made you so eager to have this book on time?"
"Well, I'm working on a new theory about the movement of stars and I wanted to make sure that I have the most recent findings to help with my data collecting and to make sure there weren't any conflicting theories that would disprove mine. If I'm right then it could be a significant finding and help better calculate where things will be from night to night. It could revolutionize the entire world of astronomy."
"That's amazing! Why don't we start by me looking over your notes and data while you read through the book to see what's new and then we can start documenting everything tonight. My sister is on the weather team and told me it would be a cloudless night."
"As long as you’re finished with your own work that sounds like a great idea."
"Then let's get started.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.014 seconds
Total duration
1,093 users online
2,142,229 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh my, I honestly can't wait till the chapters start to come out. <3 I love astronomy, myself, and have been thinking about writing an astronomy-based fiction story for here. 0u0
But about this story, I read over some spelling issues. That seems to be one of the only very noticable problem. Another one, more important than the first, is the story kind of moves a little too quickly. You don't want it to move so fast, and you don't want to move it too slow. Tell where it's taking place, like, for example, you didn't mention Twilight was in her bedroom, so I assumed she was in the main room, the library. It confused me a bit when I got further in and Spike yelled up the stairs. Maybe later, you should add in why Derpy is interested in astronomy?
Anyways, I really like the story idea~
1820837 Sorry about that. Like I said, I don't have a proofreader so its going to be rough until I find someone. I'll change tha later. Thanks for being excited, I plan on this being a big adventure.
I quite liked this story, especially since it's about two of of my favourite ponies being interested in something I'm interested in myself. I noticed a couple of spelling errors, but nothing too bad, and like you said: you don't have a proofreader, so you have an excuse.
I love the idea of this story and I'm interested to see where it goes.
I was about to read this, but then I noticed that you spelled "prologue" wrong.
*Sigh*
Oh well, I suppose I can still give it a chance.
Okay, after reading, I realise that the book is superior to the cover.
You got Twilight's neuroticism perfect, the interaction between the characters seemed natural, and best of all, the pacing was smooth.
Most stories I read, if anything's wrong, it's the pacing.
So, aside from a few spelling errors, this is pretty damn promising.
My advice is, be your own proofreader first and foremost, before relying on someone else to be one for you. I'd suggest re-reading your chapter at least 2-3 times before submission, to catch any potential mistakes.
1821344 I've fixed it up a bit now. Thanks for the advice and pointing out the misspelled title.
First off: Yay Smart Derpy!!! This story has already got me fascinated
Second, in this
I think you meant Equestria, not Euestria
Third: It is so awesome to see a new writer like me! Wish me the the best of luck on my story like i do yours. Also, I'd be more than happy to help you with spell-checking.
Wait, you ordered a copy? I didn't know you were interested in astronomy. When did that happen? Most ponies in this town think it's boring unless threes a meteor shower or comet.
Think you mean theres