Raving all Night

by Tripl3M

Chapter One - Am I still drunk or am I see an pony?

It was a quarter to four in the morning, when Max Müller left the tram to make his way home, which he was hoping to find, since he was completely wasted. Walking along the sidewalk, while trying not to fall into the thorny bushes, which decorated it, Max noticed a light appear for a short moment. He ignored it, thinking it was just some idiot who forgot to turn his brights off while driving in the city.

As he was approaching his home, Max started to hear strange sounds from where the light was. Curiosity overrode his caution and he started towards the sound, helped along by the fact that he was too thoroughly buzzed to really care. Once he reached the source of it, he noticed, that they were coming from something, that clearly was not human, although he wasn‘t able to make out what it clearly looked like, though the sounds were like a human panting heavily, like something hit it. Max pondered for a second to call an ambulance, but he realised two things, first his mobile was dead and second he was too drunk to remember the number.

So he decided to take it to his flat, because he didn‘t want to leave it in the cold, since it was the middle of December. As he was trying to lift it up, the creature winced for a second, but then stopped, as Max had it in his arms. The creature was kind of heavy, but Max was doing martial arts for sometime and therefore didn‘t have too big of a problem with it.

Reaching the house he lived in, he opened the door, went up to the first floor and opened the door to his flat. While entering, Max turned on the lights. He now sees that the creature is a pony, to be exact a unicorn. Still being drunk, Max just thinks about how lucky he is to find a unicorn and completely ignores the fact, that unicorns do not exist. He puts the pony onto the carpet next to the heating, on which the pony shows signs of relief due to the warmth of the radiator. After that, he starts getting rid of his clothes and drops into his bed, then turns off the light, instantly falling into a near-comatose sleep.

---

The next morning, Max woke up around eleven a.m., slowly adapting to the light from outside, since “drunk him” must have forgotten to close the blinds again. Now realizing that he blacked out again, Max tried to make out whether he made it home or if he was at a friend‘s place. As he looked up at the ceiling, he saw a boomerang hanging on the wall, which he got from an Australian friend from back, when he lived there, therefore, he concludes, that he was to be in his flat. Now turning sideways, facing towards the light, he checked his room for broken stuff, since “drunk him” had the habit to break things sometimes. He was happy to see that today wasn‘t one of those times, but now he noticed something on the floor.

On focusing on the object, Max noticed that it was an animal. A pony. The only thought, Max had in this exact moment, was “What the fuck, did I do last night?! Did I steal a pony? I must have; you don‘t just find a pony on the street. Holy shit, I am so screwed.” Now the pony turned, so Max could now see it‘s horn, which caused Max to scream out loud, “HOLY SHIT, A UNICORN! WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET THAT?!” Now talking to himself at an normal volume, Max said to himself “Ok, I need to call the police or some kind of authority. Maybe this is a missing science project from university. That could be it. I was at a party on campus. Or maybe this is just a dream. I hope, it is just a dream.” While saying that, Max started to get dressed. He went into the bathroom to splash cold water into his face, hoping that it would wake him up.

But after returning to his room, he still saw the unicorn laying on the floor. But now he took for the first time a closer look at it. It had an electric mane with dark-blue and light blue colour tone, the same as the tail has. On her hindquarters were two matching symbols of two bridged eighth notes, which for some reason felt very familiar.

Just when his brain was about to figure it out, the unicorn said “Only five more minutes, Tavi.”. Max just turned to the wall and smacked his head against it to check, if he really wasn‘t sleeping. While holding his head in pain, Max whispered “It can‘t be happening. The ponies can‘t talk and unicorns don‘t exist. But the pain says otherwise...”

Max paused for a second, having a strange idea pop into his head. He remember, where he saw a pony like this, which only made things worse for him. He realised, that on his floor is laying a pony from the show “My little Pony - Friendship is Magic”, to be exact Vinyl Scratch. Now with this thought in mind, Max tried to figure out, why there was a fictional character from an cartoon show in his flat in the existing world.

While Max was still recovering from this epiphany, Vinyl woke up and said confused “Man, where am I? Must have been one hell of a party. Am I right, ‘Tavi?” and turned around to look at Max. They stared at each other for a second, then they both screamed like crazy.

Vinyl is the first to break the scream and says “Who the buck are you? No; what the buck are you?”

Max replies “How the fuck did you get here? You‘re an fictional character.”
“I’ll show you how fictional I am, when I shove my hoof about your ass!”

“Of course, you‘re fictional. You are Vinyl Scratch from the show My little Pony - Friendship is Magic. The only way, that you are here on Earth, is I‘m dead and this is hell.”

“How the buck do you know my name... and what’s Earth, anyway?”

“Earth is the planet that you‘re standing on, you moron, and I know your name because I watch the show that I just mentioned. Maybe I am in a coma and I am imagining things. like talking unicorns.”

Vinyl now used her magic to telekinetically punch Max in the stomach. Max doubled over and said through gritted teeth “Ok; not a coma or a really realistic coma with magic and pain... I think... it‘s best if we start over? You know, with introductions and stuff.”

Vinyl agreed with a nod and began. “So my name is Vinyl Scratch, which you already know. I‘m from Equestria, which I‘m guessing, you also know.”

“My turn, my name is Max Müller and I am a human. You‘re on the planet Earth, which dominate species is humans and we have a show, which is about Equestria. Now can I ask a question? How the fuck did you get here?”

“That is a good question and I don‘t have the answer to it.”

“Next question, do you remember ANYTHING from yesterday?”

“No, can I ask a question. How did I get here?” Vinyl replied.

“I don’t know. I‘m guessing ‘Drunk Me’ found you.” Max answered.

“So how are we going to fix this?” Vinyl asks, which Max replies with “Not my problem, I‘m still in the same world as I was yesterday. Use some of your fancy magic.”

“I don‘t know that kind of magic and if I knew, i would be way too weak to summon such a spell. Doesn‘t your race know magic?”

“Human can‘t use magic. We don‘t even believe it exist. We have science to help us in life and with the little, we know, we can hardly travel beyond your own planet. Not to speak of possibly into another dimension! Let‘s just hope, someone in your world noticed you are missing.”

“I don‘t believe, anypony will notice, that I am missing. I don‘t really have a lot of close friends and they are all scattered all over Equestria and my fans are used to me taking unannounced breaks from DJing. So that‘s a problem.”

“What about Octavia?” Max suggests, just to see Vinyl react by blushing. “You two seem close.”

Trying to find her calm, Vinyl responds “We are not that close and we hardly know each other.” Max raised a brow and says “You were talking to her in your head two times since you‘re here and looking at what you asked you to seem very closed, like lesbian close.” Vinyl stayed silent, not saying a word, trying to fight the blush. Max only turns around and says “I am going to eat something now. I‘m guessing you‘re hungry too. I hope I have something, that ponies can eat. Since humans are omnivores.”

Vinyl flinched, as she hears the word omnivore and quietly says “You mean like meat? From animals?”

Max turned around with a big grin and said “ Yes!”

Author's Note:

Ok, people, as I said, this is my first time writing. With this is want to say, that the main character, as well as the other character, which will appear, as the story progresses, will be somewhat based on myself and people, I know. Since I hab no idea of how to create an new character.

Firstly, I hope you like it and it didn't want to claw your eyes out.

Secondly, I'm bilingual. English and german, which means either I'm a genuis at both languages or I'm suck at both. Since you're reading this, you should noticed, that I suck at languages and you've surely noticed a lot of mistakes. Please point them.

Thirdly, I'm trying to write something unique, like I said in the description. I don't want this to be a generic story. So please give me some ideas, if you have some or at least some advice.

Fourthly, if there are other german reading this. Hallo an euch alle. Schreibt was lustiges deutsches als Kommentar, damit unsere englischen Freunde sich wundern, was die Deutschen da labern.

Fifthly, I will not write with an schedule. I repeat, NOT a schedule. I'm a first semester informatics student. I will writing when I have time and ideas, but my main focus is university.

So, I hope, you have fun reading.

Comments

[Boss_Hoss1]

Good start for someone who is not a native speaker of English.
I wish i could recommend somepony to help edit tho. I have my hooves full with my pony tales unfortunately.

[horizon]

Congratulations on your first story! It's a big step. You're very brave to write in a foreign language. I've been speaking English for 30+ years and it's still tricky sometimes!

Here's a few things that stood out that should be simple to improve:

* English style for quotations is to use matched pairs of top quotes. "This is how it usually looks," Horizon said.

* The article "an" is used in front of a vowel sound and the article "a" is used in front of a consonant sound. Otherwise they are the same thing. So you would say "a pony" (pony begins with P), "a schedule", "a coma", etc. None of those use "an." (Here's a really tricky one: you also say "a unicorn" because the sound of the U is like the consonant Y.)

* English does not use a comma to separate a verb from its subject. When to use commas is complex, but the basic idea is that commas separate different ideas. So, for example:

> Now realizing, that he blackouted again, Max tries to make out, wether he made it home or if he was at a friend‘s place.
Now realizing that he blacked out again, Max tries to make out whether he made it home or if he was at a friend's place.

"Realizing" depends on the thing he realized, so take out the comma. The thing that he "tries to make out" is where he is, so take out that comma. But Max is performing two different actions in this sentence (realizing something, and examining something), so keep the comma between them.

Anyway — I like the implication that both Vinyl and Max were drunk. You're setting up a not totally friendly relationship between a human and a pony who both have no idea what's happening — that can go a lot of interesting places. This was my favorite line of the whole chapter:

Max collapses and says "Ok, not a coma or a really realistic coma with magic and pain. I think, it‘s best if we start over?"

Best wishes with your writing!

Horizon

[Tripl3M]

1820243
An editor would be nice. But as a beginner there is no need for one the moment.

1820746

I'm really grateful for your advice. It's nice to have the first two comments to be such nice people, since we are on the Internet and there are all lot of assh...., even in the Ponycommunity.

And to both of you:

English is not a foreign language to me. I'm born in Australia and lived there for 6 years. Even though they were while I was a child.
The big problem is, that german grammar and english grammar is nearly the same. Except in some really annoying cases, like the comma problem.
I just have to get used to writing english again and it will get better.

So again, thanks for the support.

[Boss_Hoss1]

1820941
Ahhh ok, so you are merely stuck combining both and a bit rusty at it too.
At least I have not offended you.
Good luck with whipping this into shape and continuing then.

[ManWithThePan]

A fellow German brony!
Exzellent. I am not that fluent in German but I am born 65% German, rest is just American.

[Tripl3M]

1822599
Ja, ein weitere Deutscher. Nun sollen die deutschen Bronys steigen UND DIE WELT ÜBERNEHMEN!!! FÜR CELESTIA!!!!!!!!

No problem with the no fluent thing, the only reason I'm fluent in both is, I live in Germany, so school forces to take three languages, which two of are german and english.
I'm about the same as you, but a australian instead of american.

I hope you liked the story so far.

[ManWithThePan]

Ja, habe ich. Erstaunliche arbeit.