Discord`s Gate

by elmagnifico

Planning and Watching

”It's never calm before a storm. Seriously, have you ever actually gone out and looked around before a storm hits? There's always wind blowing everything everywhere, that's why there's a storm COMING.”

-An Eponan comedian remarking on the inaccuracy of an expression that apparently transcends dimensional boundaries.

---

Grand Marshall Arcane Bolt was the highest ranking officer in the Equestrian armed forces and second only to Celestia herself in military matters. Despite his noble birth, the cream-colored unicorn had worked his way all the way up from Decanus in the Equestrian Legion, going from commanding just ten ponies right up to his current position at the top of the military pyramid, and he had earned every promotion through hard work and perseverance. He was one of Equestria's foremost tactical minds, as well as an accomplished chess player, having been known to give even Her Highness a good game from time to time.

With these qualifications in mind, the Marshall's staff could be forgiven for deriving a certain unease from their boss' obvious dissatisfaction with the situation. They could almost see the gears grinding away within the commander's mind as his magic sifted through the reports he had received, analyzing what he knew and planning what to do with it. As the thought process continued, the Marshall's frown deepened.

Ranger scouts had finally tracked down the Eponan expedition, which had sequestered itself in a tangled thicket of deadwood. This didn't make much sense for ponies that, so far as they knew, were unobserved.

The Rangers were a fast-moving independent troubleshooting force, entirely separate from the Legion's chain of command right up to Arcane himself. They didn't need somepony else telling them how to do their job. When the mission called for being stealthy, the Rangers were like ghosts, in the air and on the ground. Even the starlings would have trouble finding them. Nevertheless, they had apparently been spotted.

The fallen timbers where the Eponans had secreted themselves were scattered around the large clearing haphazardly, with no particular rhyme or reason to their placement, obviously the product of a tornado, flash-flood or something. Hardly a good place for a permanent base, but ideal if a fleeing force needed somewhere to bunker down before being hit.

Whoever was leading the Eponans had not only spotted the Rangers before the Rangers had spotted him, that commander had picked out a position that would make any effort to extract him without weather bombing difficult and costly.

These ponies obviously expected a fight, and although Arcane was not in the diplomatic party, it was his responsibility to get Equestria ready if a fight did come out of this. For Equestria was emphatically not ready for war. Peace had reigned for centuries on his world, with the Princess and implied, never explicit, threat of precise and devastating solar wrath always hovering about, not even dragons had dared bring war to the ponies or their allies in living memory.

The reactivation of the Elements of Harmony had only strengthened Equestria's position, restoring one of their Alicorn Princesses and adding a six-pony team capable of deploying a beam of concentrated cure-all Harmony to the country's magical arsenal.

One consequence of the Pax Celestia, however, was that the Equestrian military had decayed to the point of being largely ceremonial. The Legions, once composed of the combined forces of all three of the historical Tribes and capable of smashing any threat, be they Diamond Dog horde, Griffon War Host or rampaging Dragon, were now composed of those with nowhere else to work, and were for the most part more at home getting lost in their tankards than on a battlefield.

Only the elite units, the Royal Guard and Her Majesty's Rangers, had retained any real degree of readiness. Each was, however, unsuited for conducting a sustained campaign.

The Royal Guard was still in tip-top physical form, perfectly disciplined and crisp. The problem being their combat experience was largely in ineffectively swatting at eldritch abominations better left to the Princesses. Who knew how they would react to fighting other ponies, even ones as strange as these Eponans seemed to be.

The Rangers, on the other hoof, were spread thinly, with most of their strength deployed in patrols and response teams along the borders, with the small team assigned to Discord's Gate being the largest force they could spare.

What this all amounted to, was that unless he, Arcanus Bolt, High Marshall of the Equestrian Armed Forces, rebuilt the regular army from the ground up, Equestria effectively had no military. The implication was, with that sunbird thing about, and assuming it had a lunar equivalent, the Princesses could not be counted upon to placate any belligerent incursions from that quarter until they were right on Equestria's doorstep.

Granted, hopefully there would be no need for ponies to operate on that side of the portal, with any luck the Elements of Harmony would be able to close the portal, or some other solution could be found, but it had never hurt to be prepared. Besides, this was a chance to get the armored divisions out of mothball...

---

Twilight Sparkle paused outside the hospital room. The doctors had urged her to allow Shale to rest for a few more hours, and so she had. Now, the medical professionals agreed the interdimensional patient was well enough for visitors. What caused her hesitation was a voice on the other side, singing or reciting a verse she had never heard before.

“Uwath Haliyan, senset umerech; nactyr remol. Ko warash umerech, niktarn sesech. Introl fendafrin pegar...”

The alien melody made its way through the door, lilting and gliding like a vocal butterfly as the song ended. It wasn't a beautiful singing voice, but not unpleasant to hear either.

Twilight took this time to enter the room. The second bed was empty, with Shale's standing there in the corner where she had left it. There in the nightstand, the crystal with the translation spell cast on it sat, glowing and apparently functional.

Purple lips moved, breaking the silence that had fallen.

“Can you still understand me?”

Shale looked up, an eyebrow quirked in question.

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“That song was not translated by my spell.”

“'That song' was the Song of Haliyan, a hymn from the end of the M'sta'ng period. Doesn't have any magical properties so far as I know.”

“Think. There must be something.”

“Well, I was singing it in the old Trakhenian. I first learnt the song in Surkholti at my city's College of the Talents, but I've been using the Trakhenian version ever since joining the Chalk Son Consortium. Most employees speak Trakhenian rather than their native tongues. It helps with communication when everypony uses the same language, even if we could probably get by otherwise.”

“Ah. That would do it. I'd hate to think I'd sent my brother off with a defective translation spell.”

Twilight's gaze shifted to the other bed.

“What happened to Carrot Top?”

Shale shrugged.

“Dunno. She wasn't here when I woke up again. Maybe she's recovered?”

“Yeah. Most likely.”

Silence fell again. Twilight shifted from hoof to hoof. This was new territory. She had made friends with the others by dint of having an adventure with them, getting to know them better afterwords. Even though forging those friendships had been the purpose behind sending her to Ponyville, that was the Princess' planning behind the scenes, not what she had been trying to do at the time.

Since then she'd made other acquaintances, some of whom she'd call friends, but each of those had shared a common activity. There'd been something else to do. Actively trying to make friends with somepony by just talking was still foreign territory. Perhaps some pointers from Pinkie Pie would be in order?

The two ponies stood regarding each other. Silence reigned with an iron hoof. Twilight felt like she could have reached out and swum through the thick, awkward atmosphere. Rather than drown in the

“But hay, good to see you're healthy and cognizant. You had me worried there, fainting off like that. Hope you recover soon!”

“Thanks?”

Some pointers from Pinkie would definitely be in order.

---

Pathmark Neighra gulped. Breathe in, breathe out. Stay calm, hopefully things will still turn out shiny. Take stock of surroundings, make sure nothing's been missed.

Tangle of fallen trees, hopefully preventing those flying things from coming down and dive bombing us? Check.

Weapon loaded, ready in case something comes down to attack anyways? Check.

Sun still overhead, starting to get low in sky and not disgorging inhabitants to try to burn us? Check.

Not missing any orders from the commander?

Pathmark looked over at his officer. Hard Trail was just standing there, staring at the forest. Not conferring with Tall Sands the Whisperer or positioning the civilians. Standing just behind the first log of the scattered timbers, trying to see something Pathmark couldn't.

Best to not put a check there until he was absolutely sure.

“Sir, any orders?”

“Quiet. They're out there.”

“Sir? I didn't know you were a Sweeper.”

“I'm not. Wish I had someone trained to watch auras. This would be a lot easier. I don't know if they're right out there this instant, but they must be close by.”

“Sir, my family've been sweepers pretty far back, my father taught me a bit. I can only go about ten meters out though.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? That'll at least get the first two meters of the forest beyond that wall of undergrowth. Any Sweep's better than no Sweep in that tangle. Shut those peepers and then tell me what you see.”

Pathmark did that, his eyelids closing as he concentrated. The sounds of his comrades and the civilians clanking around and preparing for the coming confrontation faded into the background. His breathing steadied, and from there his father's training took over.

All Eponans were born with the Talent, which allowed them to manipulate objects, use tools, and feel the world around them, rather like an extra pair of limbs. It was only through training that the Talent could be turned to other purposes, such as Tapping or Whispering. Granted, some ponies were born with more affinity and even some natural ability in these disciplines, but even relatively normal Eponans could gain these abilities with practice and guidance.

Training was expensive, so there were plenty of common ponies with no extraordinary powers at their disposal, whose jobs were often as simple as fixing machines or pulling a hoe. Some families would save up for a youngster to get trained in a discipline, others went through the schooling as a right of passage.

Mr. Glint Neighra had been one of the latter, the scion of a line of moderately important ponies from just south of Trakhenia. After being trained as a Sweeper, Specialist Neighra was assigned to a portal fort halfway down the Caress Chain. He had then proceeded to get involved in his commanding officer's daughter, and although the two had wed, the father was bitter enough to ensure his son-in-law would not find work with the Portal Authority, or anywhere else besides Epona itself. There, Pathmark had been born.

Learning to Sweep had always been a bonding experience between Pathmark and his father. The elder Neighra's words echoed now between his son's ears, guiding his efforts from beyond the grave.

"Breathe in, breathe out. Think of tranquil water dripping into a pool. Let life flow around you, then observe the eddies it leaves."

When Pathmark opened his eyes, the forest ahead of him was glowing. The light that was shared between all life was flickering and shining from all quarters, emanating gently but steadily from the trees themselves. Brighter still were the creatures of the forest heading to their evening haunts. Blurs that were probably rabbits, raccoons, foxes, squirrels and songbirds cascaded through the forest, fading as they moved out of Pathmark's range and growing brighter as they drew nearer. All seemed well.

“I can't see them sir.”

“Don't worry, they're out there. Maybe not here yet, but it won't be long now.”

Comments

[Ravenscroft]

Final review! "divisions out of mothball" seems like it is missing a word, unless it's a turn of phrase I'm merely unfamiliar with.

Oh yes, something I forgot last chapter in my rant about double-spaces: Why did the bodyguard suddenly gain a nickname? He had been referred to before, by equivalent officers on off-hours. You'd think they'd use the shorter, easier to say name.

This was a very "nothing happened" chapter, and if you re-write, I'd advise including it in a different chapter and just go for a 4k work chapter. You could probably do that in general, actually.

But in terms of references to the crossover fiction being lost or confusing, only omni-use of telekinesis was offputting, and only because even without knowing the source material, I can't fathom they actually had no one ever use their hands to do anything and would question "how do you use tools" if another human showed up not able to be telekinetic. Other than that, you're in the green for folks who don't know about the setting.

[elmagnifico]

2353367

Hmm, first real difficulties here. The idea behind the solar incident is that:

A) Paranatural effects don't go through the portals. Hence why Celestia's link to Equestria's sun gets cut off.

B) The Sunbirds are not the Sun, they follow along with/drive the motion of the orb.

C) Celestia attempting to establish her link is what draws one of the Sunbirds down. Whether the princess could actually wrest control of or pull energy from Eranax's sun with the native Sunbirds about is not determined, as they sense her and interrupt before she's finished, breaking her concentration.

I'll see what I can do about clarifying this.

As for the CIA, the remaining chapters are building up to the resolution of the Eponan survey team in Eranax, once that situation is settled you'll likely see Tinfoil Hat again...

2354052

Let me start off by thanking you profusely for your time and effort. As you can see I've not got a very extensive readership, so I need as much help as I can get. Every extra pair of eyes helps.

I'll be going through the chapters today and tomorrow to see what I can do about the issues you've highlighted. I am uncertain on how to revise the descriptions though, cutting things down into tiny chunks that still get the message across isn't one of my strengths.

With regards to consolidating chapters, I had considered it. In fact, the Discord bit and Chapter 1 used to be separate FiMFiction pages. I may enforce a similar merger at a later date.

Yes, I am from the States, where "Waffling" has taken on a meaning similar to talking for talking's sake without saying anything. I've changed that sentence to something more appropriate.

And now, for my humble defense of the remaining three points I have issue with, to be read very quietly in Fluttershy's voice for the appropriate tone.

#1: Where I'm from, the double spaces are actually mandated, a single space after a period is considered incorrect formatting. I can honestly say I've never encountered any other opinion. Most intriguing.

While I'm not comfortable going to single spaces for the whole document, I'll be going through this portion to ensure the spacing is ONLY two spaces, as I did notice the period after "ding" has four spaces after it. I suspect your senses were tripped by this chapter in particular because of a couple of triple or quadruple spaces.

#2 "Out of Mothball" is a naval term for reactivating an old ship, referring to aromatic spheres that are used to preserve old fabrics from the exploits of fiber-eating insects. I'll consider switching it out for a different turn of phrase.

#3 As for the telekinesis, in the books the Sharonans, the Eponan's equivalent, use firearms and other tech relatively equivalent to late 1800s Earth. Their paranormal abilities are limited to certain "Talents" similar to the Whispering, Sweeping or Tapping disciplines of the Eponans.

I confess the main reason I gave the Eponans universal tk was so that firearms would make sense. The central conflict of Hell's Gate is magic vs. science, so I felt making them a race of unicorns would hurt the crossover.

Now, firearms have been done in other pony fics without incident, but I didn't feel any of the ways that worked made much sense for the Eponans, or in general really.

Shooting with the gun gripped in the mouth seemed counterintuitive and doing so with anything more powerful than a derringer liable to result in lost teeth. Rifles with this setup would make even less sense. Plus, a revolver going off that near the face is not a good idea, hot gasses to the eye would likely result in a few inaccuracies.

A harness of some sort would work for rifles, but sidearms of any sort would be inconvenient, and reloading would be even worse.

Using hooves would likely work if the trigger and any priming mechanism were enlarged to accommodate, but then to fire the pony must assume an upright "human" stance, cutting their mobility drastically. Granted human soldiers must take a similar position and mobility to shoot rifles with any kind of accuracy, but there's no way a pony could ever "shoot from the hip", or manipulate a sidearm that looks anything like a pistol with their hooves. Moreover the lack of fingers gripping anything would, in my opinion, make the firearms prone to flying everywhere from the recoil. Lastly and most pedantically, I think ponies look ridiculous standing on their hind hooves. Sorry Lyra.

This left telekinesis. I tried to get it to make sense, a psionic tk as opposed to Unicorn magic. As I tried to outline with Dark Cell's bit, it's kinda limited in what it can do without intensive specialist training. All the tk effectively does is give the Eponans an extra set of limbs with which they can move things like a Griffon or Dragon might with their claws.

The "how do you use tools" bit just seemed a natural extension of Shale's encounter with, to put it into human terms, a race where 60% of the population has no arms.

An equivalent to "How do you use tools" is actually a thing in the books, although it is more along the lines of the magic-using faction questioning how the psi/tech-using faction got by without magic. As Equestria has several examples of societies getting by without unicorn magic, the sentiment didn't seem to flow in this version.

In any case, you have my thanks. If you ever find yourself in need some proofreading or critiquing, and desperate enough to seek someone of my caliber, do not hesitate to ask.