Meet the ponies (video transcript)

by gapaot

Meet the Drunk

[Warehouse doors rise, revealing a crouching RED Berry with other members of Red Team.]

[Berry watches various BLU Team members stationed around center point: an Engineer industriously making defensive preparations, a smoking Spy, and a Soldier juggling.]

[Berry takes a swing of her cocktail and RED runs out to attack center point.]

[Berry charges into a fierce battle, quickly outpacing all her teammates. She runs, weaving, towards the center of the map, luckily dodging everything that BLU throws at her, then outruns and crosses a passing train as it crushes a BLU Soldier and Pyro.]

["Meet the Berry" text appears]

[Berry walks in front of the Meet the Berry text, from off frame.]

Berry: "Um... I don't even know where to start with you. I mean, do you even know who you're talkin' to?

[Cut to a scene of a BLU Octavia, sitting in chair near the Control Point about to take a swing of old wine, when she is poked in the head by the Berry's bottle.]

Berry: "Hey, what's up?"

[Cut back to Berry in front of text.]

Berry: D-Do you have any idea, any idea who I am?"

[Back to Octavia and Berry, where Classical Mare swings with her bow and Berry dodges, giggling drunkenly. Cuts back to Berry.]

Berry: "Basically - kind of a big deal!"

[Back to fight. Berry is strangling Octavia with her bow.]

Berry: [Spins a bottle and takes a swig] "Sweet Celestia, thatsh beautiful. Heh!"

[Cut back to fight, Octavia now has Berry in a headlock. Cuts back to Berry.]

Berry: " Ya' listenin'? OK. Grass grows, pegasi fly, alcohol ferments, and brotha'-[pokes the camera] I hurt ponies."

[Cut back to fight, The Berry whacks Octavia in the gut with her bottle.]

Berry: "BOINK!"

Berry: [Back to Text] "I'm *hic* the Drunken Master!"

[Berry hits Octavia in the chin.]

Berry: "BONK!"

[Cuts back to Berry]

Berry: "If you drank as much as I drink, you'd be f**kin' dead!"

[Cuts back to fight; Octavia is collapsed on the ground trying to reach for her wine bottle, Berry runs up the side of a shipping container, jumps off and slams her hooves into the Octavia's head.]

[Cuts back to Berry]

Berry: "WOOO!"

[ending flourish music plays]

[Berry sits on the twitching body of the Octavia, drinking her wine; the point is now RED's.]

Comments

[Kody910]

This is lol-worthy.

[eclipse162]

Indeed lol worthy.

[Muleicous]

So, we're all agreed, this is indeed lol worthy. Motion to oppose? No? Good, Motion carried.

[ShinjiNichida]

Huh... I thought Berry felt more like DEMOMAN... Anyway... that was... nice...

[thepinkparty]

131755 OBJECTION this is super lol worthy

[11Bolts]

Scout? C'mon, it should be Demoman, i mean, he drinks, right?