CSI Manehattan

by Alamut

Faces

I flipped another site of my magazine and sighed. The subway carriage was shaking wildly making reading almost impossible. The cut on my cheek from the other day was itching terrible. It took all of my willpower to not scratch the bandage with my hoof. I sighed, loosened my tie and started the next article.

Trends in Violence in Fillydelphia

In Fillydelphia, as in many other parts of Equestria, violence constitutes an important focus for the public and political debate on crime. Much of what is said in the public debate, and done in the field of criminal policy, stems from a perception that violence is on the increase. This paper presents a new social indicator of trends in violence— hospital admissions resulting from acts of violence—and evaluates this measure in the light of more traditional indicators of violence—crime statistics, victim surveys and homicide statistics. The hospital data comprise 90,000 admissions from the years...

“Excuse me.”A voice called. I looked up and saw that a stallion took the place across me while I was absorbed with my lecture. He smiled apologizing, almost sheepishly.

“Please excuse my intrusion, but is that the newest Veterinarian Physics Quarterly in your hooves?” I gave him a deadpanned look, closed the magazine and showed the cover.

“Oh wonderful! I was looking forward to read professor Clops article about the upward trends in the current criminal statistics since months. His last article about the effects of different neurotoxins was simply...” He continued on gleefully with a slight Trottingham accent. I cocked my head eying him closely. The buck, a, good looking I have to admit, grayish gold coated unicorn with a black mane, was wearing a red shirt with a black vest. A sand colored mantle lay beside him. He had a joker card as a cutie mark and his eyes...

“Is your heterochromia inherited or the result of chimerism?” I asked pointing out to his eyes, the left having a crimson red and the right one a golden iris. He seemed taken aback by my question but composed himself briskly and smiled.

“I’m not sure about that.”He shrugged.”I never knew my parents and I’m too afraid of needles to go for a medical examination.” He grinned at me.

“You’re joking, right?” I asked and he laughed.

“Maybe?” He smiled slyly and reached out with a hoof towards me.”I’m Joker and I’m new in Manehattan. So would you maybe...”

“Not interested.” I cut him off abruptly.

“Pardon?”

“Oh sorry. My comment really seemed a little bit too vague.” I gave him a sheepish smile on my account.”I think this whole ‘we’ve just met but I would like to rut you maybe’ pickup line is infantile and derogatory for any mare. Not counting easy bimbos. Aren’t you full of yourself? Did you really think that by showing interest in the same things you would have an easy game with me? So once more: Not. Interested.”I eyed him with a somber glare and growled.”And now fuck off.”

With mouth and eyes agape he fell silent. I opened the Veterinarian Physics Quarterly on the page with the article but I was too agitated to read any further. I snarled with irritation and stuffed the magazine into my saddlebag. From the corner of my eye I saw that he was watching me. I growled.”What?”

“Nothing. I only wanted to...”

“Then shut up!” The buck was so irritating!“If you...”I wanted to start another rant but was cut off by the announcer and his monotone voice.

“Next station: Shetland Yard.”

I muttered something about arrogant stallions under my breath, buttoned my black overcoat and put on my saddlebag. I didn’t pay him any more attention and trotted to the door. There was a movement in the corner of my eye and I saw the buck standing at my side.

“Are you following me or what?”

“Excuse me little miss arrogant but the world isn’t spinning around you.”He eyed me with a amused grin.”According to the city plan this is where I have to get out.”

“Suit yourself.”I pouted and stared in front of me. The moment the doors opened I jumped out of the carriage and cantered to the exit. Taking two or three steps every time I quickly found myself on the surface.

A cacophony of sounds assaulted my ears the moment I left the station. I took the turn right and trotted in the direction of the headquarters of the MCG. After a few steps I allowed myself a look to the back. The unicorn stallion was standing in front of the entrance to the subway station, a city plan held in a white magic field in front of him. He didn’t lie about that part and he seemed a little bit lost. I shook my head. Serves him right.

After a few minutes I found myself in front of a giant building, with a facade that took up an entire city block. Six stories high it seemed imposing and intimidating. You could always see pegasi and an occasional sky carriage flying in and out of the upper levels. I smiled – I felt at home around here. I went in through the main entrance and nicked towards the elder guardpony behind the desk.”Good morning Mister Leaves.”

“Good morning Detective Pie.”He cocked his head.”What happened to you face?”

“Oh, this.”I touched the bandage with my hoof.”A buck tried to rob an older pony with a switchblade. It seems I wasn’t fast enough.”

“Fucking geldings.”He murmured angry.”Not showing any respect to their elders nowadays. And harming cute fillies like you.”

“Stop that. You’ll make me blush.”I waved my hoof, irritated yet accustomed to his rambling.”I kicked his flank and horn so it’s fine. But now I got to go.”

“Have a nice day Detective.”

“Thanks.” I cantered to the elevator, pushed the button for the 4th floor and sighed the moment the doors closed. I looked at my reflection in the metal doors and turned my face. Once to the side with the bandage and once to the one without it. I sighed again and muttered.”Always a mare. Never an officer... Buck these horse apples!” I slammed my hoof on the polished surface and composed myself again. There was a short “ding” and the doors opened. I trotted out of the lift.

I exchanged greetings and a few witty remarks with my colleagues on the way towards my office. A black coated pegasus with a cobalt mane looked out of his room as I passed it.

“Hey D.!” He called me with a merry tone in his voice. His name was Night Reader and he was a friend. Of sorts.

“What is it Night?” I looked back towards him cocking my head.

“The cap wants to see you.”

I rolled my eyes.”Did the old featherbrain say what it was about?”

The flier shrugged.“Beats me. He only said: Tell that pink mayhem that I want to see her arrogant flank in my office the moment you see her. Eamedietly!’”

I rolled my eyes again but smiled at his impression of the captain.”Yeah, I will move my flank to his office eamedietly the moment I get some spare time.”

The pegasus made a salute with one his wings.“See you around D.”

“Yeah, later.” I waved at him with a hoof and continued towards my office.

After a few meters I stopped in front of a door with a brass plaque saying:

Detective P. D. Pie

I took out my keys and opened it. My saddlebag flew into the corner on my left the moment I passed the threshold. I quickly hung my mantle on rack to the left of the door and walked towards my work desk. It boasted the usual organized chaos – countless notes, unfinished rapports, files from related cases, numerous books and...

“Oh, gross...” I muttered to myself while pulling the sorry remains of my lunch from two days ago. I think I lost appetite for the local neighponese for the near future... I dumped the oyster pail and its contents into the trash bin and sat behind the desk.

I looked at the two pictures standing on top of it. One showed me and my two sisters the other my late mother. I smiled warmly and started the computer.

Twelve new emails - some regarding my last case, others being merely office gossip. Only three got my attention. The first one was from the captain but I stopped to read it after the line:

...and I know that you’re already in the building Pie, so move your lazy...
DELETE.

The second was from Vesper.

Hey D.!
I’ve heard the cap’s searching for you. Don’t make him wait, ok? You know how he is.
Vesper

Good sweet old Vesper, always caring... The third one was a surprise.

Heya Pinks!

I rolled my eyes. There weren’t many ponies calling me that.

I’m back in town for the time being. We should totally meat again! Give me a call! Or I will give you a call! Whatever.
Cya.
Kisses!
V.S.

I smiled. The idea seemed nice

I stretched and looked at the clock. It was almost 9 o’clock. I sighed.”I think I shouldn’t let the captain wait any longer.”

I shut down the computer, stood up and trotted out of my office. After a minute or two I was standing before another plaque with a set of letters carved in the brass.

Captain H. Grimmfeathers

I neatened up my attire and knocked on the door.

“Come in Pie!” A baritone voice called from inside. I rolled my eyes. The old featherbrain and his supreme hearing...

“You wanted to see me commander Grimmfeather?” I asked cheerfully while entering his office.

It was held tidy, something too tidy for my tastes. On one of the walls hung a case with a few medals in it. The beautiful Solar Flare in the center. It was surrounded by a halo of framed photographs showing a black feathered griffon with groups of different ponies and people. A talon unit drinking with a bunch of night guards. The city guard parade held during the celebration of the 350’th anniversary of the founding of Manehattan. A medal award ceremony showing Princess Celestia pinning the Solar Flare on the chest of the same griffon who now growled from behind his desk.“I’m not longer in the military and you know that Pinkie.”

“And you know that I prefer Pinkamena Haakon.”I smiled at him and sat in front of the desk.

He eyed me menacingly.“CAPTAIN Grimmfeathers is enough.”He sighed and shook his head.”You took your time. As always.” He added to the end.

I shrugged.”I wasn’t here yesterday, so I had to check on some things.”

“I’ve seen the report, quite a good job with the trash the other day.”

“It could have been better...” I muttered while touching the bandage on my face.

The griffon snorted and pointed to the large scar running through his right milky eye with one of his talons.

“Yeah... But I’m a mare and I need the looks for my retirement.”I said with a sly smile.

“You won’t retire.”He shrugged and added nonchalantly.”Knowing you, at least not alive.”

I brushed of his remark.“What was the reason you wanted to see me again?”

“We’ve got a new guard assigned to our unit. You’ll be the one working with him. He’s...”

“No.” I cut him off.

“Pardon?”

I looked him firmly in those blue, predatory eyes.“I said: NO. You know that I’m unable to properly work with people I knew for years. How am I supposed to work with a newbie?”

“He isn’t a newbie. He already worked at the Canterlot City Guard for five years.”
“Like I care.”I shrugged.”He should have stayed where he was.”

“He asked for a transfer to Manehattan. Specifically to the CSI unit.”

“Then he’s stupid. Only a total weirdo would want to work on all the shit we’re dealing with in here.”

The old bird smirked.”You would probably even work for free.”

I smiled back.”And I’m proud for not being normal.”

“Nevertheless you will work with him. He seems a decent buck according to his file and he shouldn’t make any problems. He’s also very talented in our field of work.”

I rolled my eyes.“Any proofs for that?”

“The solving of the Bloody Rain case was his doing.”

My ears perked up.”Wasn’t that the one with the killer dumping the remains of his victims into the clouds?”

“Indeed.”

I cocked my head while thinking and watching the ceiling.

“You know that I’m not asking about your opinion, right Pie?”Pointed out the slightly irritated griffon.

“What’s his name?”

“Sour Note.” That sounded simply wonderful...

I shrugged.”Alright. He can always have an accident in the case he starts to get on my nerves.”

He rolled his eyes.“I’m sure the whole station will start making bets the moment they hear about you getting a partner.”

“Give me a share and you’ll be the winner”

His laugh was cut off by a knock on the door. He looked towards the door.”That should be him. Come in!”

The door opened and I looked behind my back to get a proper look of my new “partner”. I saw a grayish gold coat and my blue eyes met a mismatched, red and gold pair. We both blinked and stammered in unison.”You... What?”

I spun around and slammed my hoof in front of Grimmfeather while pointing the other one at the stallion. I yelled at the old griffon.”What the fuck is this shit supposed to mean?!”

Comments

[jarmari]

he gives me a Johnathan Crane vibe. Spelling my dear Alamut. I assume you're doing it intentionally so I have flaws to find so far I like it.

[Alamut]

1759641
Hm... Johnathan Crane... Now that you pointed that out... Too much watching Tim Burton and Johnny Deep somehow warps your mind... Not that I'm complaining

So enlighten me senpai and point out my mistakes

[Thegodhand]

I like finding stories by lesser known authors. Little diamond in the rough.

[Alamut]

1759994
Lesser known authors? Good sir this little heap of scribbles is my début and I certainly have still a lot to learn Nevertheless thank you for your kind words of praise

[Riz]

1759831

Is that the same guy, she met before ?

My shipping sense are tingling...

[Alamut]

1768519
We shall see about that. I could always kill him of in a cheap attempt of adding some drama to the show. Who knows...

[Riz]

1769007

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Riz]

1756108

What's 'Connemara' ?

Also this is Det. Pinkamena Diane Pie right ? Not The Cupcake Psychopath Pinkamena but the tough mare det. Pinkamena right ?

[Alamut]

1808493
1. Real world: a pony breed from Ireland. Story: someone/something.
2. We shall see about that...

Besides that - I know the third chapter's taking long but I'm giving the fault to the the nearing holidays and other duties at the university