1753016 Alright, I can see where you're all coming from, but for heaven's sakes, this guy loves Luna. Nearly everypony does. I mean, sure it can be cringeworthy at times, but all he needs is some guidance.
For example, never use alicorn OCs. They just don't work out.
Secondly, NEVER start out stories with "Hi, my name is...." It's cliche and will cause a lot of readers to go: "NOPENOPENOPE!"
Also, your story is very rushed. It fails to hold interest. Describe things in detail. You know, make us care about what's happening in the story. Make us care about the character. Sob stories don't cut the mustard for that.
I can understand that you had no idea what you were getting into and you wanted to write out a fantasy. However, I want to let you know that you should perhaps rethink what you're writing, if you want to avoid hate.
> Spots the alicorn description
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1750132 The description doesn't say alicorn, but it does say BiE and possible Self-Insert. Also, OCxLuna.
1750313
Sorry, didn't mean description as in the summary. I meant in the chapter itself when he states the he's an alicorn and begins describing himself.
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Ah, yes, yes... criticize me... It feeds me... Gives me the strength to write...
Oh for Christ's sake.
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1751372how much 4 a ride
1753016 Alright, I can see where you're all coming from, but for heaven's sakes, this guy loves Luna. Nearly everypony does. I mean, sure it can be cringeworthy at times, but all he needs is some guidance.
For example, never use alicorn OCs. They just don't work out.
Secondly, NEVER start out stories with "Hi, my name is...." It's cliche and will cause a lot of readers to go: "NOPENOPENOPE!"
Also, your story is very rushed. It fails to hold interest. Describe things in detail. You know, make us care about what's happening in the story. Make us care about the character. Sob stories don't cut the mustard for that.
I can understand that you had no idea what you were getting into and you wanted to write out a fantasy. However, I want to let you know that you should perhaps rethink what you're writing, if you want to avoid hate.
I have no problem with alicorn oc's just way to rushed and Luna just wasn't very...Luna like to me idk its weird
1773778 I don't know why your comment was down voted, it is true