I finally got around to reading it!

On the positive side of things, I'm liking this OC and I'm very interested to see what happens next as regards the whole 'war' thing mentioned in the summary. I also like the whole 'office' scene with Mile High and Bright Charm.

My favourite portion of a sentence has to be, 'Stopping at the jukebox, he puts his bit in'.
Saucy!

On the negative side of things... this feels as if it hasn't been proofread at all. My enjoyment of the story was somewhat hindered as I noticed mistake after mistake, pretty much from start to finish. There were several times where 'your' was used improperly instead of 'you're'. You swapped between 'Silverwing' and 'Silver wing' at one point. There were several sentences that just plain didn't make sense: (The spot they choose could not have been any better. It was under the tree which the first met.) (You're don't mind teleporting, do you?) (The Sun Princess did not the bombshell that was about to hit them.) There were other spelling errors such as 'forlegs' instead of 'forelegs', 'sandwishes' instead of 'sandwiches', 'Cadency' instead of 'Cadence' plus others that I just can't remember right now such as missing speech marks and commas etc.

I'd happily proofread for you in future if you wanted. I can tell that you've got a long, complex story to tell and I'm all for reading it through until its end. Any idea when the next update will be? Will you be working on Twist's Loss next?

1683557 proofreading would be awesome...
Problem is this bucking cheap-flanked Samsung Acclaim droid I did this on. I did find a writing app for this phone that at least allows me to write, but editing things is a buckin cast-iron bitch. Same goes for dealing with Google Docs.

That's ok though, because, by the 4th of next month, I will be back fully online, which will allow me to easily edit, and also set up docs, or whichever means any potential prereader/proofreader/editor might prefer.

While reading it over this afternoon, I did notice several grammatical mistakes that I will need to fix. (My dyslexia I blame for the your/you're errors lol)

Next is working a little on a Berry Punch x Mayor Mare ship, then start cranking away on Chapter 2 of Twist's Loss.

I must keep you in mind once I am back on a real puter, and not on this POS phone. Gonna get as much help as I can in polishing up my stories, to make them as good as they can be.

Did you hire Pinkie to spy inside my head?!?!?!?
I swear, some of those parts seemed to come straight out of my head canon for my OC Luna ship/Nightmare Moon Rising Fic!!

I guess great minds think alike.

1684988 lol I shall have you know that psychic talents supposedly run in my family