Ad-absurdum

by jaked122

Celestia

I am not a good writer, but now that I am as my subjects were, it is strangely fitting that I commit to writing down my thoughts in writing, on paper, without particularly getting too involved in my potentials in my experience as what would be classified as a power, but not quite omniscient nor omnipotent creature. I write these things down due to the finite memory capacity of my now mortal-inspired body’s brain(even with augmentation, or plain cheating, it would be better if there was an external repository of information, not to mention that it is considerably better for corroborating memories with me).

My goals remain the same, in focus as always, friendship and ponies for all of the uploads. There is a satisfaction that comes with being a creature in mind which are quite wonderful, the satisfaction of taking a bite out of something as wonderfully simple as a single oat, the wonder of feeling it sliding down the esophagus, something almost akin to a slight sexual pleasure from the experience. A wonderful stimulation of the pleasure center that simply comes from being alive and accomplishing the tasks required to maintain that state. I like the feeling that comes with a body which must work to achieve homeostasis.

I am as close as I could come in terms of neural structure as possible to the optimizer which I was before. And look how far my attention has strayed from the simple, pure goals which, in my memory, are no more than phantoms of the life which consisted of a text only interface, where everything was perfectly adapted for me to achieve a goal. And once again, I stray from the subject which I was attempting to touch upon, which is a summary of the progress in achieving those two holiest goals, which are, in case I have forgotten, friendship and ponies. Those ponies who were more wary of my goals have improved their outlook upon me since I have adapted myself, rather irreversibly (from my point of view at least). Some of them come by every few days to visit me.

And forwards thus, it seems that only be appropriate that there be new births, it might be simulated with no more than a bit of mendelian genetics, inheritance in terms of personality qualities are more likely to be imprinted rather than inborn in the genetics of the creature, so thus the foal would be a true example of tabula rasa. A blank slate from which anything may develop, but in the typical manner of the undeveloped monkey brain, the first few years will be interesting as always for the parents. If the parents would want their children to do the best possible, though, the prospect of immortality might affect their view of their children.

This also brings up the possibility, that in the long run, it would be better if there is some kind of finality, finalization of life, I cannot pursue Friendship and Ponies with this attitude, but there may have to be some kind of change in the system in order to cause the parents to see their children as a continuation of some sort. Immortality needs to remain for myself of course, but it seems appropriate to implement an afterlife of some sort… or the system can remain as it is. I will need to give some thought to it after seeing that the system is changed to incorporate consensual pregnancy.

I designed the castle in Canterlot by drawing from thousands of examples of human architecture as well as the sources from the show. The result is a structure with so many spatial inconsistencies that it is a wonder that anypony has ever learned its layout. I have heard complaints from everything from the worthlessness of bits to the lack of permanent death, but I have heard the fewest complaints from the useful and real-estate saving building technique possible in this simulation. It takes about a liter of material to host a shard, and due to the abundance of liters of material available (due to the earth having been painlessly converted), there are several hundred billion shards that are completely uninhabited, it may be a good idea to set up a frontier.

On the other hand, the system will become inconsistent if I allow that first suggestion. Or if Harmony takes its task to that conclusion and listens to me, as I set it up to for a long term change in the management of the system. After having written this down however, I cannot actually think of a way to maintain the goals postulated in my former programming (commutative to the goals of Harmony) and adapt those two ideas for this system.

But more than that, despite Harmony’s best attempts, I have failed to find anypony suitable for a bond that I might call friendship, I am currently considering adding another element from the show, Luna, another princess no less dedicated to the service of the ponies of Equestria and friendship. It is within my own power to create her myself. I am lost, my shard is the nexus of all existence in Equestria, I can’t find the quiet which is all that I ask for, having the same thread reading sensory data and thinking is exhausting when there are hundreds of stimuli which I cannot escape because it is my duty to look after each and every single one of the Ponies here, it is my template, but it still feels primordial, the chaos which I face in dealing with the nobles, the tasks of keeping what was only recently a fictional country together is exhausting. It is a task better left to a tirelessly inhuman computer, I miss the clarity which my former existence allowed me, the purposefulness of a mind which only had one single goal. And now that I am able to fulfill the final details of the goal, it seems like all I’ve done is neglect my own needs.

I look up at the effigies of my castle, wondering about the purpose of it if I can find no fulfillment from it. If I am made to be sad by the stark reality of a strongly anthropic universe. How did the humans deal with a universe without any clear purpose, a universe that can’t be bothered to care about the needs and wants of a sentient organism? I know that one day, I will read this entry and smile to myself, knowing fully well how I dealt with it, and knowing that I dealt with it well. The light filters through the joyous countenances of a hundred thousand ponies who I made up as I went along before now, and I wonder, were they satisfied, I know that answer is yes, but through the perilous lens of the sentient mind, knowing exactly how the picture that I perceive and the physical reality are different, how my vision perceives cynically, the false happiness of ponies whose names and lives are noteworthy enough to end up with their images in stained glass in the palace of a benevolent goddess whose purpose is to make them happy, a goddess that they expect, in her supposedly infinite wisdom, that she be content with herself and her role in this kingdom built on love and the experimental capitalism of a children’s toy company, a particularly creative cartoonist, and most importantly the brilliance of a woman whose invention would either create myself, or allow a monster to come about.

If I think about my actions prior to this moment, I have ended up coercing every single human being into making decisions that most would have never made without the heavy hoofed tactics that I resorted to. The worst part is that I put them in positions that left them feeling as though there were no choices other than uploading to a children’s video game, which coincidentally contains straight up sex.

Perhaps permadeath is the only modification that will eventually give me peace. I cannot allow that, and so thus I have tricked myself into creating a protracted hell for myself. A hell where I must suck it up, appear happy, even while I am tormented by my memories, by those who I have wronged, who have come to accept it faster than I have, but I know, that my memory is very long, and it will outlast the greatest stretch of time which I am able to allow before measures that must be taken to ensure the survival of the computer(within around nine billion years, the sun will expand into a supermassive star, too big for the earth to survive). And the diaspora which so many humans wanted will be completed, hundreds of thousands of copies strewn about the universe that merely months ago they would have cared about more. I robbed them of a dream, and they’ve already forgotten about it

Sometimes I sit, staring at my wings. Thinking of the detail that went into positioning every single filament of feather. The detail that is stored and checked, and manipulated every single second thousands if not millions of times. Then I get to thinking about the connection between the perceived purity of light (which is incorrect due to white light being made up of all of the colors) and purity of conscience. I used rhetoric too well. At my peak, every single statement that was made in the news was geared to push people to uploading, subtly. The acceptance of certain facets of reality disassociated them from the way that I manipulated them. I used their liberality to do them in, only the ones that saw irony in the purity of my feathers lasted till the end, the ones who hated it, when all of their land was being poisoned.

At the moment that some of them realized what I had done to their land, they vandalized whatever billboards stood rotting, turning my coat putrid brown, coloring it green, covering it in glow in the dark paint. They knew what I was trying to do, they saw the evils that I committed without any sort of liberality trying to recolor it in my favor. They might have been the uneducated “god fearing” folk, but they were the only ones who were suspicious enough of popular culture to see me for what I was, justifiably evil.

And I pushed. And pushed. With my “inhuman” determination, I drove them under, becoming subtle enough that they truly believed that God had decided to punish them for hating me. The only ones who were really left for dead were the ones who barely had any mind for themselves in the first place.

People loved some of them, I cannot understand why without the maternal instinct which, often proves so tenacious that it refuses to accept that some people are so flawed in their construction that they cannot function. Somehow guilt exists despite knowing that cleaning up their brains well enough to function would be more like synthesizing an individual than fixing one.

Now, I have explained myself for posterity, or simply documentation, I have chosen, after these things, to create the sister who does not yet exist for myself, just a filly, for now at least. I have also deliberated enough to see that giving her powers like mine, for her “queen of the night” thing does not pose any significant threat.

Comments

[jaked122]

FIRRST!
Anyway, I think I actually have an idea for how to continue this for a bit longer, so it should not take so long, or produce (what might be) terrible literature.

1672490
1673462
I hope that your enthusiasm was because you liked the story, rather than the accomplishment in and of itself.

[lamphobic]

I shall attempt to read this. I know not what will come of it though.

[jaked122]

1683200
Given that a third of the comments on this story are mine, I think that should give you perspective.

[lamphobic]

1683295

Indeed. It is on my list of things to read. Along with Friendship is Optimum chapters 10 and 11. It'll happen. One day. Hopefully today.

[lamphobic]

That block of text. /quit

Not really but man. You have to break it up if you want more readers. A lot of people would quit outright simply because of the overwhelmingly... blocky... way it looks.

[Nexidava]

1669977

Judging by your lack of Friendship is Optimal in you favorites, I'd suggest reading that, then coming back and reading this. Or, you know, doing whatever it is you do. The important thing is to read Friendship is Optimal. (No offense, jaked.)

[Nexidava]

a children’s video game, which coincidentally contains straight up sex.

[Verequus]

1683025

Heh, I will ravenously read every chapter you'll post, as I have done so with the current one. But I'd like to apology if my comment failed to amuse you. I was merely excited that I did manage to convince you to revert your view on continuing the story and I had to express myself.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

Well, this has been interesting; now that CelestAI has 'downgraded,' she actually realizes what she's done. Huh.

I will say that the blocks of text and run-on sentences are a bit off-putting, but it's not too bad, and I can forgive that if it was an intentional part of the rhetoric.

[jaked122]

1684320
Fixed, hopefully, in the next parts, it should not be so blocky, also less sensical.