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The Healing and the Hurting

“THAT IS IT!” Trixie fumed. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is tired of dying!”

“Are your teammates not protecting you properly?” The Medic tried to make sense of it all. The ponies were doing a good job, surely they know to protect the Medic…

“The Great and Powerful Trixie need no teammates! The enemy is filled with fear when they see the Great and Powerful Trixie heading for them!”

The medic’s mouth was agape. “Y… What do you mean you don’t need teammates? Who are you healing if you’re going in alone?”


“Mein Gott…“ The final piece clicked in the Medic’s mind, and he put his head in his hands. “You haven’t healed anyone, have you?”

“ Well of course not. The gun you have given The Great and Powerful Trixie cannot heal her”

The doctor started muttering under his breath a string of words that sounded like they’d be very offensive if Trixie understood his native tongue. “Of course it cannot heal you, you heal others! You have got to be kidding. You are joking. Very funny”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie was not telling a joke.”

“That vas what I vas afraid of. You have not healed a single thing in the two weeks you have been here. You’re team has worked themselves hard and you haven’t done a thing”

“I’ll have you know I have successfully killed five people!”

“TOTAL!?” He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “So not only are you not healing, you’ve gone battle medic. Unsuccessfully.”

Trixie sneered and readied a response, but the Medic cut her off.

“I am not sure if you understand what you’re supposed to do, but let me lay this out. You are supposed to help. That means pointing that medigun on your back at someone who’s hurt and assisting them. Trying to attack ze enemy yourself is almost the worst possible thing a Medic could do. So from now on you are going to go out there, look for people who are hurt, and heal them. Understand?”

Trixie glared at the doctor, but he shot a much angrier look. She grudgingly walked out of the room. “Who does he think he is. No one insults Trixie and gets away with it. That no talent hack. The Great and Powerful Trixie can do as she pleases! And she will start by treating these commoners to the luxury of her healing beam!”


She trained the beam on the first pony she saw. Unfortunately it happened to be Ponyville’s best flier. Trixie struggled to keep close enough to keep the beam on the rainbow maned pegasus. “Ugh! Slow down you Technicolor featherbrain!”

Dash stopped cold in her tracks, and Trixie caught up, panting. “Trixie, you obviously don‘t know a thing about me”

“And that would be?”

Dash flared her wings “Rainbow Dash. Never. Slows. Down” With that she took off like a streak.

Trixie stood astonished for a few seconds, then scowled. “Ignorant little foal. She’s obviously not smart enough to appreciate my helpfulness” She looked across the bridge, and saw a white unicorn entering the RED base. ‘That was that one who’s hair I messed up. Rarity, wasn’t it?’ Trixie followed her in, and saw her peering around a corner. She pointed the medigun and started healing. Rarity jumped and looked at Trixie harshly.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” She said in a hushed whisper.

“Healing you. No need to thank me, The Great and Powerful Trixie can feel your appreciation radiating”

“No, you idiot! You’re going to blow my co-o-O-OOWWW!!!” Her sentence was interrupted by a Pyro coming around the corner and burning Rarity quickly to death. Trixie tried to run, but a flare hit her backside and lit her up. She fell soon after.

Trixie respawned, and was met face to face with a fuming unicorn. “It is slightly suspicious to the enemy team when a BLU Medic is HEALING A RED PYRO!!” Rarity screamed. She stormed out, cloaking just outside the door.

“Well. No need to get snippy” she headed out toward the bridge, when she caught sight of a yellow pegasus cowering under the windowsill of the battlements. ‘Oh for Celestia’s sake’ She thought. ‘What’s she afraid of? A bird might land on her? Still, I guess any amount of appreciation is worth it’ Trixie started healing her. Fluttershy screamed, letting out a noise similar to a goat’s and fell over, stiff-legged. Trixie began laughing uproariously. “There is no need to fear! The Great and Powerful Trixie has decided to help you out!” Trixie beamed, waiting for praise to be heaped upon her.

Fluttershy got up, not saying anything except a meek thank you that was too quiet for Trixie to hear. The blue unicorn frowned. ‘If I‘m not going to be appreciated, I might as well go find someone else. There‘s nothing up here to do anyway‘ She thought. “Alas, I have places to go, more important ponies to assist. Farewell!” Trixie walked away, but was stopped just outside the door by a very irate looking rabbit.

“Ah and I suppose you wish for the assistance of Trixie, do you not, rabbit?”

Angel jumped on top of her head, then gave her several quick thumps with his foot. Then he hopped away.

Trixie rubbed her head with her hoof. “Ow! Fine then, you have lost the support of Equestria’s most magical unicorn!”


“Ugh. Yet again somepony is too foalish to appreciate my efforts” Twilight had politely declined any healing, as she was away from the battle zone for the day helping the Engi and therefore didn’t need health. Trixie spotted the orange pony that had hit her with a wrench a few days ago. She begrudgingly trotted over and trained the beam on the new target.

“Oh. It’s you. I guess I should thank you fer healin me. But I kinda got mah dispenser. So maybe you could find someone who need health more than me? “ Applejack smacked the dispenser with her wrench as she spoke.

“Oh, but that is the great tragedy. All the others are not worthy of Trixie’s assistance. You barely qualify as it is” Applejack started swinging the wrench harder. ”They all refused to give Trixie the praise she so deserves, and therefore will not receive her assistance. You should count yourself lucky. You had the good sense to allow Trixie to honor you with her presence, Hayseed”

“THAT’S IT!“ Applejack threw her wrench at Trixie.

Trixie yelled and ducked, the wrench just barely missing her horn. “What is the matter with you!?” She screeched indignantly

“I wish absolutely ANYPONY ELSE had come here instead of you! I’d even had taken that one who pops balloons all day over you! You don’t care about nopony but yerself! You don’t even know mah name! I don‘t like you! Nopony does! You got us stuck here in a world that ain‘t ours, and we may never go back! But you don‘t care as long as long as someone strokes yer ego. So why don‘t you just stay out of everyone‘s way until we figure out how ta fix YOUR mess!”

Trixie bared her teeth. “I refuse to be spoken to by some country bumpkin who probably can’t count past four without using somepony else’s hooves!”

“I suggest you get outta mah sight before mah fists start talkin for me!”

Trixie angrily stomped away. Applejack picked up the wrench and Swung with all of her strength at the dispenser. She missed the spot she was supposed to hit, however, and put a giant hole on the screen. “Shoot”


Dash rushed out of the respawn. She rubbed her neck, where a Demoman had liberated her head from it’s normal place with his sword. ‘I’d rather that not happen again today…Wait…What’s that sound?’ As she passed the spiral ramp, she heard something just inside the door. It sounded like… crying? She poked her head in and saw a blue unicorn, back to the door with her head in her hooves. On the opposite corner the Medic’s equipment laid in a pile that was thrown against the wall topped by the Unicorn‘s signature hat. Dash rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed. “Aw geez. I hate to see anyone so upset. Even her’ She walked all the way in. “Trixie? You okay?”

“Get out! I don’t want to be seen like this!”

“What happened?”

“I said get out!”

“Not until you spill the beans!”

Trixie looked at her, her eyes rimmed red. “Fine then! Everyone hates me and wishes I wasn’t here! Is that good enough for you!?” She yelled, then turned away, quietly resuming her sobs.

Dash was taken aback. “I’m sure that not everypony hates you”

“Well I am. Everyone here. You, Rarity, Applesmack”


“Whatever! Even the rabbit hates me”

“Well… I don’t hate you.”

“I’m not stupid. Don’t lie to me”

“I’m not! Well, I don’t like you, per say, but I don’t hate you. And I know that Pinkie can’t hate you. She doesn’t hate anyone or anything”

“…Who’s Pinkie?”

“Pinkie Pie?”


“How do you not know Pinkie? She’s been here all week!”

“Is she the pink one?”

It took all Dash had in her not to shout ‘Well Duh’ at the Unicorn. “Yeah, that’s her. Have you even talked to her?”


“Well there you go! Go find her and heal her. She’s perfect! She gets hurt all the time!”

Trixie dragged a hoof under her eye. “You…really think so?”

“Trixie, I guarantee it” Dash handed her her hat and playfully jabbed her on the shoulder. “Feel better?”

Trixie hugged the Pegasus quickly. “Much” She grabbed her equipment. “And if you ever tell a soul I just hugged you, I’ll have your hide for a new cloak. Got it?” Dash mimed dragging a zipper across her lips. “Good” Trixie ran out of the room with newfound confidence, looking for her new pink target.


Trixie spotted the pink earth pony crossing he bridge, and she caught up with her. Trixie was about to say something when Pinkie suddenly broke into a song:

“Sandvich, Sandvich!

Pinkie loves her sandvich!

Tomatoes, Lettuce, cheese, and bread

Makes me strong to beat up RED

Sandvich, Sandvich!

Going off without a hitch!

Healing me and healing you

Winning this for our team BLU!” Pinkie held the note for a few seconds, then looked over and saw Trixie, who looked very confused. “Hi! Trixie, right? Y’know Trixie I never threw you a party when you came to town! I just have to throw one when we get back! Well I mean as long as you want one but I mean really who doesn’t want a Pinkie Pie party? They call me Ponyville’s Premier Party Pony and with good reason” Pinkie continued talking nonstop for a few more seconds until Trixie interrupted her.

“Well, Pinkie. Today is your lucky day, because you have the opportunity to allow me to assist you!”

“Ooh! Fun! What are you gonna do?”

“See this special gun?” Pinkie nodded her head quickly. “Well it can heal you. You’ll be able-” She was cut off by a bone crushing hug knocking the air out of her lungs.

“You mean I can fight without having to go to respawn as much!? YAY!” Pinkie let go, and Trixie stumbled for a few seconds, regaining her breath.

“Yes” she coughed. “But You have to do something for me. You have to keep me alive so I can use the gun on you. Deal?” She found her hoof in a very enthusiastic hoof-shake before she could respond


‘Why is she so strong?’ As Trixie pondered a Demoman fell down from the enemy battlements, behind Pinkie. “Look out!” Trixie trained the beam on Pinkie as the earth pony turned around and rained a hail of bullets at the enemy. The Man launched grenade after grenade at the two. One hit Trixie and she yelled. Another hit like that and she’d be down. A shining grenade launched out and hit Pinkie square in the chest, exploding forcefully. But she still stood, finishing the Demo off at last.

“WOO! That was fun!” She turned to Trixie. “Wow! Usually those shiny ones can kill me instantly! That means you kept me alive!”

“Great. I don’t feel too good…” Trixie was still reeling from the grenade that hit her. It had nearly taken all of her health.

A sandwich sitting on a plate landed in front of her. She looked up to an expectant Pinkie. “Eat this! It’ll make you feel better!” Trixie doubted any medicinal properties of the treat, but she hadn’t had anything to eat all day and she had nothing to lose. She took a tentative bite, and felt a power surge through her. She did feel better… As soon as she finished, she felt at full strength.

“What was that about?”

“Sandvich can heal you. You can heal me!”

“You’re right” The bell to end combat rang. “Looks like we have to head back. But I think I’ll stick with you when we start again in the morning”

“Well, Ok, but as long as you heal my friends if they need it. Deal?”

“…Deal. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership” Pinkie let out a giggle and the two headed back to camp for the night