• ...

Meet the Team

"So lemme get this here straight" The man said, still a little dazed from his discovery. It had been about ten minutes, and Twilight had convinced the man, Who didn't give his name and said to just call him Engineer, to sit down and listen to their story. "Y'all are from the magical land of Equetsria?"

"Equestria." Twilight corrected him

"Right, and y'all with the horns can do magic?"


"Okay, and you two" He pointed at Trixie and Twilight "somehow messed up and transported everyone here, to my world"

"Precisely! So you do understand!"

"Not in the slightest, but I think the jist is that y'all need to find a way home?"

"... Well, as long as you realize that part, I suppose it's all okay"

A bright light flashed in the small room. "Well, looks like someone's respawning. I get to see if all this work finally drove me crazy or if I really am seein' talkin' ponies"

From the room a giant of a man lumbered out, looking fuming mad and muttering what sounded like Russian swear words under his breath. at his side he carried a gun that was almost as big as the ponies. "Engineer! Entire RED team is evil babies!"

Twilight was a little stunned at the man's lack of reaction to them, but Engineer just smirked. "What'd they do this time, Heavy?"

"Well, I took down two or three itty bitty sentries, and I was pretty hurt. so I go to corner to eat sandvich and tiny Scout comes up, and he kills me and has NERVE to steal sandvich! Can you believe it!?"

Engineer had seemingly lost interest. "Terrible. Hey Heavy? Do me a favor. Do you see anything strange over there?" He pointed toward the cubbies

Heavy turned and stared. "Hmmm... well, there is purse in Pyro's cubby"

"No, not that. Anything out of the ordinary?"

"What, like tiny pink horse hanging upside-down in Sniper's cubby?"

"...Actually, that's exactly what I meant. So I'm not crazy" He wiped his brow. "Gotta say, you took that rather well, Heavy"

"Heavy thought he was hallucinating again. So why are there many tiny horses around respawn?"

"Just wait, I want the whole crew here for this"

They both sat down, trying their hardest to make normal small talk. A flash of light, and a black man with an eye patch on, taking a strong swig of something Twilight was positive was alcohol strong enough to remove paint, stumbled out of the room. He blinked a few times at the strange sight, taking a look at his bottle. "Did someone slip som'thin' inta me drink?"

"No Demo. We see them too"

"Good. I'd hafta kill someone if they go messin' with me scotch"

"Why are all the crazy one's showing up first?" Twilight whispered to Rarity; She replied with a shrug

"Who knows. Maybe they're the normal ones here"

"I hope not, or we're doomed"

The next two out weren't much better. The first was a Man... Woman... Thing in a gasmask and fireproof suit, called Pyro. the second was a German man in a long coat, who was called Medic, and who after hearing the ponies talk, got a gleam in his eye as he wondered aloud how their vocal cords worked. Fluttershy moved as far away from the Medic as she could.

"How many more are left, Engi?" Applejack spoke up.

"We Still need Soldier, Sniper, Spy, and Scout"

As If on cue, a man who's eyes were concealed by the large helmet on his head stepped out. "What are you ladies doing sitting around!?"

"Soldier, do you not see the ponies around?"

"I see the ponies! I also see a bunch of good for nothing slackers! Why are you people not on the field!?"

"Look, just hang around for a second till everyone's here, and we'll explain then"

"Fine. But this had better not cut into my killing time" He sat down in a huff

Another flash, and a man carrying a rifle in one had and Rainbow Dash on his shoulder stepped out. "Anyone want to tell me why there's a rainbow colored horse in the spawn room?"

"Long story, we just need Scout and Spy"

"Ahem" A man in a suit and mask appeared behind Rarity, and she jumped across the room.


"I'm pretty sure sneaking up on people is in my job description"

"Ah hell, I'll just tell you now, I'm sick of waiting for Scout. I'll explain it to him when he gets here"

"So these here ponies are from another land called Eque-"

"We have taken the enemy intelligence!" A loudspeaker in the room blared. Dash stirred slightly at the sound, mumbling in her sleep

"God that thing is annoying. any way, cuz of some magical mishap, they all ended up here, and they don't know how to get home. Now I think we should help 'em get back, seein as they showed up in our base"

"We have dropped the enemy intelligence!" Dash sat up suddenly

"Dammit!" She was still groggy, and didn't register her surroundings.

A last flash, and out stepped a boy in baseball attire, cursing in a thick Boston accent. "I had it! I had it and... Wait" Scout looked down at the Rainbow maned pony at his feet. "No freakin' way"

Dash looked up. "Could you keep it down, I just wo... No way" She reached up with a hoof a poked him in the stomach. "Y-y-you're real!"

"You're real too!"

"Omigoshomigoshomigosh" Both started Chanting in unison

"Uh, Dash?" Twilight looked at Scout "Do you two know each other?"

"Uh, duh! He's only my favorite Class in Team Fortress 2!"

Engi looked confused. "Team Fortress... hey wait, how do you know her, Scout?"

"She's only da coolest pony on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!"

"In what?" Twilight looked quizzically around "Will somepony tell me what's going on!?" She yelled.

Suddenly in the vents something started banging around, like a frightened animal. It worked it's way Toward the opening, falling through a grate onto the Heavy's head. He picked the Grey pony up, Staring it in the eyes (Even though those eyes weren't staring back), looking angry.

"Muffin?" The Pegasus held up one of the treats, offering it to Heavy.

"... I like these ponies!"

"Derpy!" All the ponies (minus Trixie) gathered around Derpy to make sure she hadn't hurt herself in the vents. "Are you okay?"

"Absitivly Posolutly!" She said with her usual enthusiasm, Never deterred by the bad things that sometimes befell her.

"So how'd dey get here?" Scout asked, a wide smile plastered on his face

"Ugh. short version, magic spell" Spy snorted from the corner

"Good enough for me"

"Now I have an idea. I can try to supercharge my teleporter to get y'all home. But it'll take quite a bit of time. Someone'd have to take over my job"

"... What if I did it?" Applejack spoke up. "Y'all look like you could use a break. I think we could all take on one of the classes for a while"

"Heck yeah! I'll be Scout!" Dash Grabbed a spare headset and grabbed a scattergun "Lemme at em!"

"Well... I suppose you could. I'd have to modify the guns a little. and the regenerator. If Y'all are okay with that"

Murmurs of approval went through. Fluttershy looked concerned, but she didn't say anything. "Well, then I suppose we should pick classes"

Pinkie Jumped at the opportunity and ran over to Heavy. "I wanna be the Big Guy!"

Twilight looked skeptical "Not to be rude, but... why?"

Pinkie held up a sandvich "Sandwiches.." She said, slightly transfixed

"No no no, is sandvich!"



As the two argued about the proper pronunciation, Rarity was swooning over the intrigue and romance she perceived as part of the Spy's job. Spy leaned over to AppleJack. "I zink your friend reads too many romance novels"

"Read 'em? Heck, she could write her own" Applejack turned to Fluttershy "I expect you'll be goin' Medic?"

"Um... actually" She cast a glance at the Man, who had pulled out what looked like a giant syringe attached to a huge scalpel. She squeaked in fear, hiding behind the Sniper's legs.

"I guess you're going with me?" She nodded in agreement.

"You have got to be kidding me. I'll go medic, you wimp" Trixie walked over to the Medic

"Bah. I refuse to be shown up by a bunch of girly ponies" His Shovel fell out of his back pocket. Angel picked it up, getting a feel for it. "Hey! Give that back you stupid rabbit!" Angel's eyes lowered. Soldier reached for the bunny. Angel ran up his arms, landing on top of his helmet and hitting the helmet with the shovel. A loud ringing sound came every time he hit it. Soldier fell to the ground. Fluttershy looked at the two, terrified that something would happen to Angel

The soldier growled at Angel, who still gad the shovel. Suddenly, he smiled wildly. "I like this bunny's moxie! I would be glad to have you as a soldier!" Angel slung the shovel over his shoulder, beaming.

Twilight looked around. "Well, that leaves Demo and Pyro" She turned to find herself face to face with Derpy with a fire axe in her mouth. "Demo it is"

Engi clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Combat has been called for the night, so we'll be able to train our new friends. I've got the Regenerator modified so that y'all will respawn as long as you're here, so give 'em the rundown. Get to know 'em. We'll meet back here in the morning. Deal?"

Everyone replied in unison. "Deal!"

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