"Fluttershy, oh Fluttershy" Applejack yelled. Searching for a pony who is scared of everything in a zombie Apocalypse isn't the greatest fun in the world. "What if she's been infected?" Rainbows voice was filled with worry, Applejack turned her head "Well we will have to leave her behind, but when dangers about Fluttershy tends to hide away from it, I'm sure she'll be fine."
Rainbows frown grew a little, into a unsure smile "I hope you're right" she muttered whilst looking down at the ground. Applejack searched the grounds of Fluttershy's home whilst Rainbow Dash looked high to see if she was in the air, there were no signs of zombified ponies anywhere around where she lived, which was strange. In other places they were clambering about looking lost and confused with no sense of direction or understanding what so ever. With every nook and cranny looked in Fluttershy was know were to be seen. The two ponies began to lose hope.
Back in the middle of Ponyville's market place, Rarity, Twilight and Pinkie were trying their best to avoid the zombie ponies that lurked around. "Ew! Get away, get away. Seriously Twilight couldn't you have just teleported us to Fluttershy's home." Rarity grunted. Twilight turned and glared at her with a snarled look upon her face "No. I need to save my magic for important times, you just don't want to get dirty. Face it Rarity, you have no choice." Twilight nagged. Rarity's reaction was emotionless she put her head down and continued the treturous walk to meet up with the others. Pinkie was screaming left; right and center. "Pinkie! Will you stop that blasted squawking of yours and pipe down a little." Rarity Commanded. Pinkie looked at her with sad eyes, eyes that would be filled to the brim with fear.
After a long walk of none stop dodging the infectious ponies, they finally arrived to Fluttershy's place. "Did you find her?" Twilight Questioned, her eyes were worried, and a straight mouth expression was traced along her purple coat. "Nope, We couldn't fin' no trace of her Twilight. Were else do you think she'd be?" Applejack answered, everypony stopped to think of were their dearly beloved Fluttershy would have gone. "well, she's not at Cloudsdale, and even if that was a possibility she hates flying." Rainbow dash remarked.
All was silent for the next few minutes. All of a sudden birds shot into the air from a loud scream for mercy. Everypony looked at each other "Fluttershy!" They all shouted in a synchronized fashion, they all hurtled towards the sound of shrieks coming from a small field. As they got closer the screams became more prominent and obvious to the ear. Once they reached the field they saw a crowd of zombies gathering and coming closer to the terrified pony. Twilight used her magic and teleported the un-dead away from her. There on the ground was a yellow pony with long pink hair covered in dirt and grass, curled up in a ball with her hooves covering her face. Pinkie pie walked over and tried to pick her up she flinched until she peaked up and saw a familiar face. Her mortified expression on her timid face vanished and was replaced with a grin "I'm so glad you're here. Thank you so much." Fluttershy said in a scared tone.
The mane 6 were once again reunited, but that's not the end. They have a long way before they could start celebrating.
Twilight put her hoof on the ground with a thud and shouted "We got harmony to restore. Let's go girls!"
(New character point of view)
he had short bobbed black hair. Skin tight leather leggings a white ripped top smothered in blood; with an army jacket on the top. On her feet were knee high leather heals. In her hands was a Katana. "What and earth is going on here ARGH!" She screamed whilst beating down slime-balls of "dead"ponies. "NICOLE! ELIN! CALLUM! WHERE ARE YOU?" she shouted. She looked around in every direction shouting out her other teams names; there was no reply. Once all the ponies were dead. Ciara wiped her self down from the bloody ooze that dotted on to her clothes. she could hear voices in the background and by the sounds of it; it was coming closer. She raised up her Katana for protection.
(Main Six point of view)
On their new travels all together, they came across something they never encountered before. It wasn't an infected pony. It was a...Human? Twilight walked up to the strange creature "Who are you?" The unusual creature turned and looked down at each of them in her head she said "It wasn't them." "I'm Ciara. A zombie hunter. Who may you be?" She questioned staring at the weird ponies who seemed to have the ability to talk. "I'm Twilight sparkle" she pointed to all the individual ponies whilst adding "That's Rarity; Rainbow Dash; Applejack and Pinkie Pie." Twilight put her hoof out to signify a hand shake...Ciara stared at it in confusion and pushed the gesture away. "You're hooves are filthy, how do I know you're not infected." Twilight was about to speak before being interrupted by Rarity "Do we look like we are infected? Covered in blood. No. We are dirty because well if you haven't noticed. There's an apocalypse." She commented, whilst giving a snide glare to Ciara.
Join the mane 6 in the next chapter when we find out what happens next! Hope you enjoy.
29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lltzgnHi5F1qzib3wo1_400.jpg
Description suggests you can't structure a plot worth a damn... I dread to gander but I shall.
1758098
I like this............why....because obama
1758100
I can understand that. This was an idea that sprung to mind when I was with friends, Although this isn't really original but the way i'm going to lay everything out surely would give it a unique tweek.
But you gave me some useful criticism, if you could give me some ideas about a new plot line then feel free. I'd like all the constructive criticism i can get, improvement is a key. xx
1758245
Yeah i actually thought after writing it....wait there are like millions of these XD
I tryed ter got ter jef the kilar Is culdnt
So if Spike was in the cover would he be caring fuel tanks Molotov and incendiary rounds?
Nice story not bad.
I kinda want to know about Celestia and Luna... Still, no Luna icon...
1758889
jeff the killer is my pet :) x
1759591
I'm not gunna give spoilers about the next few chapters but you will find out what spikes up too :)
1759885
Don't you worry you will soon get your celestia and luna chapter XD
<Rainbows thrown grew> - I'm sure you mean frown.
<Twilight put her hoof on the ground with a thud and shouted "We got harmony to restore. Let's go girls!" On their new travels all together, they came across something they never encountered before. It wasn't an infected pony. It was a...Human?> - The fuck? did I miss something? If not you need to take this thing to an editor or take some time out and re examine your plot structure and fix this. There is no lead up to this at all and honestly I was thinking this might not be bad till then. And to be frank I was assuming they were half anthro from the cover art.
But seriously I dont know where to begin with that. You really need to back it up, take this chapter down and redo it. Maybe it can be goo, but you need transitions of some sort. From the sound of it this "Ciara" Neednt enter for a few more chapters.
1761806 um go to sleep
1769810
I love lollipop chainsaw XD pinkie is kinda based on her you will find out soon enough x
1762345
Actually I was going to edit that I was reading through, but I was also meant to comment that I have dyslexia and not many people have time to proof read or aren't interested. I'm trying my best, I'm not taking it down just because of a plot line. It doesn't need a build up to the first character as I decided I needed Ciara to be someone quick and snappy therefore so was her introduction was to reflect her persona. The fact that the rest of her group have bigger lead ups. But thank you for the criticism it will surely help me improve.
1771370 my point is you have them run off and then just say "in their travels they find...." and boom new character. there needs to be some substance there, some sort of transition. its less about the short character intro (though i think the reactions would be different) and more about the transitions. not having transitions can break a good story and it has the potential to be good. If you put the effort in I may be willing to help proof read.
1775426
I'll try and think of some things. I might have it switch to her point of view on what she's doing and stuff then it switches back...Could that work?
1782720 you could get away with alternating first person points of view the easiest. Thought that would mean re writing the first chapters.
1785376 Well last night I came up with an Idea so I'm going to change it and hopefully it makes a huge difference :)
1785500 awesome and if you need a pre reader/editor let me know.
1786908 Will do, right now i can't write very well not every day you have your dog lach on to your hand -__- But i'm hoping to get this edited by sunday and my 3rd chapter done on wednesday next week XD
17873988 well good luck and I look forward to reading it whenever it is finished. And heal upp quick, that sucks.