Braeburn woke up that morning feeling better than ever and he was looking forward to a nice day in Ponyville. He got out of bed and had a quick breakfast consisting of pancakes and 2 apples, then walked outside and look at the sun rising up.
"Oh golly! What a beeeeautiful day it is!" Braeburn said getting his vest and cowboy hat, he got dressed quickly and ran off to the market to do some trading. He went up to Applejack's stand with a bag of coins ready to purchase some fine goods. "Well hey there, Braeburn!" Applejack said grabbing him around the neck and giving him a friendly nuggy on the head, "Hey be careful, you might make Fruity there cry!" a pony said laughing as he walked out of the market headed home. "Huh? Why would he call ya fruity, Brae?" Braeburn was confused aswell, no pony had ever called him fruity in his life. "I don't know, but that there pony has a lot of nerve" Braeburn said with a mean look on his face.
After a lot more insults, Braeburn got tired of being in public and being insulted, so he headed home with less amount of goods than he expected. "Good riddance, no pony nowadays has any manners in public, when I was their age I would have gotten the tar beaten outta me for that" Brae sucked it up and went home, and unloaded a bit took his vest off along with the hat, and sat down on his couch. "Well i'm sure it was just some rude teenagers that said those things, Celestia be with them if I get my hooves on them" After an hour or 2 Braeburn fell asleep on his couch having some delightful dreams. "Apples.....Juice, apple cider...." He whispered in his sleep, but was alarmed and woken up by a huge crash noise against his window, he looked at his shattered window and A brick with a note on it saying, "Visit my place tommorow night, from Anonymous" Braeburn read the note carefully and was a bit shocked and confused at the same time.
[Tommorow, 22nd of may] Braeburn had not even bothered to get up, nor make any effort to think about getting up, he just lied in his bed waiting for that night to come to see who that person was, the address was 345 26th Flower Street, that street had normally been abandon or not many ponies living there, so it wasn't strange for people meeting there mostly about gang rumbles and mafia plans. 5 hours past and Braeburn had fell asleep again, the alarm clock went off and it was time for whoever he was meeting. He went out a dirt path that went down to there, only he knew about it, and it was best because no pony would call him "Cock-eyed" or "Faggot" and "Butt pirate" at all. When he arrived at his destination that place was-as usual-Abandon. No sign of a pony there, "Maybe I should just live here, no exetremely rude ponies around. He knocked on the door of the house he was suppose to visit, but it was opened already for him. He walked around the house to find someone and found someone who looked rather sad. It was a mare, she a light purple coat, a beautiful mane and tail that were chocolate brown and buttermilk white stripes. She had a pair of reading glasses on, a cutie mark that was a paintbrush. Braeburn walked in and saw her sitting in the kitchen, "Umm, hello?" Braeburn said and she turned her head and looked at him, observing his marvelous mane and tail (Or it least was to her) "G-Good, you're just in time, please sit down, the we'll talk.
So...Ponyville is full of homophobic dicks?
Here we go with an actual review!
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First off-we don't know if Braeburn is gay. We just don't know. So stating it as a fact is incorrect. Speculate, sure.
Chapter 1-Insultment IS NOT A DAMN WORD.
Also? It's rated "Everyone"? Why? It's full of cussing, HATE SPEECH, and general hate. I don't think that's appropriate for ANYONE. Well, the cussing is okay. But the other stuff can put it's nuts in a mammogram machine.
So, the opening is super duper weak.
Describe his waking. Write out the number '2' as 'two'.
It's 'noogie', not 'nuggy', though. At least, I think so.
Also, new speaker, new paragraph.
Don't do that. Describe the transition.
Holy run-on sentences, Mare-Do-Well! What did commas ever do to you, huh?
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I don't remember anypony calling him that to begin with, so... wondering if this isn't just you looking for an excuse to say those things.
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try again.
You don't need the parentheses. I think you meant 'then we'll talk." Watch those endquotes.
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So you messed up the dialogue, AND you have Brae being completely OOC. We have zero indication in canon that being gay is considered bad there, or that Braeburn has anything against gay pony folk.
Aside from the fact that BEING GAY IS NOT BAD NOR IS IT ANYTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF, why would they, if they really thought it was so bad, turn around and do the same thing to them? THAT'S SO VERY OOC IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
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That's pretty awful of them.
Where 'normal' equals 'not gay'? Gross of you dude, gross.
In closing, this fic?
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~MidnightDancer, the TWE's cranky mod dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/yay_red.png
Wow... you sure got to have some issues to write some crap like this... and it sure as heck is crap.
Sorry, but there is nothing positive to say about this story.
Hm, maybe that it's better that you hate here then when you do it out there actually hurting someone's feelings...