note to all pony's if you see a alian DO NOT BLIND FOLD IT then it will not only be frightened and mad it will consider you a threat...then it will kill you
I know it sounds stupid. But if a doctor cannot use sedatives on a patient undergoing extreme surgery, they will keep the patient from seeing the operation using a blindfold, or, like when a woman gives birth they use a tarp to keep the woman from seeing herself from being ripped open.
But yes, it would generally be smarter to not blindfold random aliens.
2022993 no their are three dlc's for fallout new vegas and each one adds another 10 levels to the mac level cap and the original level cap is 30 without dlc so its 60 if you have done all the dlc.
This is really great so far. They all seem to be in-character, the story is really interesting, and the chapters are a decent length (I'd say they need to be longer, but that would just be me wanting to read more ).
Now, the problems.
First of all, you really need to find a proofreader to help you look for problems. Actually, you should probably make sure to read over each chapter after you finish them, because reading it to yourself (especially reading out loud) will help you spot mistakes you might have missed otherwise using a spell checker, which brings me to my next point.
The problems I've noticed in these chapters makes me think that you use a spell checker once to check for errors, and then call it a day. The reason I say this is that while I don't notice many misspelled words, I've noticed a lot of grammar mistakes, which most spell checkers won't pick up on. I won't point out every mistake, but here are some examples of what I mean:
"...She said it was a was dangerous, but she wants me to see if it's a threat."
See the problem? Was is repeated in the sentence. I've noticed this several times in pretty much every single chapter up to this point. Make sure to look over the chapter when you finish (or let a proofreader help you look for errors) to make sure you don't leave in repeated words and other similar mistakes.
It threw itself at the wolves when it easily could have let them eat us.
You changed the perspective at the end (went from third-person to first-person), I haven't noticed this problem as often, but it's still something to look out for.
A few other things I noticed include missing words, tense changes (past at one part, then present, then back to past), and a few other minor issues. Nothing that can't be fixed with the help of a proofreader or simply looking over each chapter again after you finish them.
That said, good luck with the story. I'm really enjoying it right now, and I look forward to where you go with it.
HAHA your right her hair does have many colors.
I'm definitely enjoying this one. Can't wait for the next chapter ^_^
note to all pony's if you see a alian DO NOT BLIND FOLD IT then it will not only be frightened and mad it will consider you a threat...then it will kill you
2021560
I know it sounds stupid. But if a doctor cannot use sedatives on a patient undergoing extreme surgery, they will keep the patient from seeing the operation using a blindfold, or, like when a woman gives birth they use a tarp to keep the woman from seeing herself from being ripped open.
But yes, it would generally be smarter to not blindfold random aliens.
Let's just say the Courier is the max level for the mohave at the moment and consider equestria an add on.
2022993 no their are three dlc's for fallout new vegas and each one adds another 10 levels to the mac level cap and the original level cap is 30 without dlc so its 60 if you have done all the dlc.
This is really great so far. They all seem to be in-character, the story is really interesting, and the chapters are a decent length (I'd say they need to be longer, but that would just be me wanting to read more ).
Now, the problems.
First of all, you really need to find a proofreader to help you look for problems. Actually, you should probably make sure to read over each chapter after you finish them, because reading it to yourself (especially reading out loud) will help you spot mistakes you might have missed otherwise using a spell checker, which brings me to my next point.
The problems I've noticed in these chapters makes me think that you use a spell checker once to check for errors, and then call it a day. The reason I say this is that while I don't notice many misspelled words, I've noticed a lot of grammar mistakes, which most spell checkers won't pick up on. I won't point out every mistake, but here are some examples of what I mean:
See the problem? Was is repeated in the sentence. I've noticed this several times in pretty much every single chapter up to this point. Make sure to look over the chapter when you finish (or let a proofreader help you look for errors) to make sure you don't leave in repeated words and other similar mistakes.
You changed the perspective at the end (went from third-person to first-person), I haven't noticed this problem as often, but it's still something to look out for.
A few other things I noticed include missing words, tense changes (past at one part, then present, then back to past), and a few other minor issues. Nothing that can't be fixed with the help of a proofreader or simply looking over each chapter again after you finish them.
That said, good luck with the story. I'm really enjoying it right now, and I look forward to where you go with it.