A Fox in Equestria
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very good
what does the perk do?
2004872
It's an actual perk you can get at level 60. It turns your karma from good to neutral, and gives you a health boost depending on how good you were.
Nice story so far. And can we see her maybe become a pony? You dont have to but I would love to it happen.
2004906
The max level is 50 isn't it?
2005139
Dlc raises the level cap. But I could be mistaken.
2004983
Sorry. But I already have plans.
2005555
Thanks...?
2005523 no your right 60 is the max level if you have all the dlc.
2005614
She's under extreme amounts of radiation poisoning and has more that a couple bullet wounds.
I think that omits a bit of pain.
But you'll find out more about it later.
2007564
I took that into large amounts of consideration.
umm exactly how bad is your character hurt? because from my research and study's even a female curior can take more hits than that before going unconscious probably needs this much to get k.o: radiation=689 mental damage=745 physical damage= at least 2 crippled limbs and 98 hp loss minimum and thirst=765 huger=789 and lastly sleep=945 yes the female curior (not like it makes a difference) will need that much minimum to lose consciousness
2016444
I see your point, but you forgot to include the variable where: this is a fictional story on a website that publishes fanfiction about magical ponies that fight, fall in love, go on adventures, have sex, and turn into humans or vice-versa.
2016580 yea but at least some of the crossovers have logic from both worlds applying heir in this story none of the worlds logic apply's i mean this is a good story and all but logic at one point or another HAS to apply somewhere
(unless the story is about slender man than logic can go screw itself)
2016646
I am glad you like the story, but I don't feel I should have to include the fact that for the courier to K.O she basically needs to be a bloody pulp. So for now lets all just assume that the courier is still, in fact, a human being. And that is what I intend to portray her as.
2016677 no argument their...
2016682
Thanks for letting that go. If you didn't, this next chapter(filler) will annoy you immensely.
HAHA your right her
hair does have many colors.
I'm definitely enjoying this one. Can't wait for the next chapter ^_^
note to all pony's if you see a alian DO NOT BLIND FOLD IT then it will not only be frightened and mad it will consider you a threat...then it will kill you
2021560
I know it sounds stupid. But if a doctor cannot use sedatives on a patient undergoing extreme surgery, they will keep the patient from seeing the operation using a blindfold, or, like when a woman gives birth they use a tarp to keep the woman from seeing herself from being ripped open.
But yes, it would generally be smarter to not blindfold random aliens.
2006575 no for the courier the lvl cap is 50 for the lone wander its 30
Let's just say the Courier is the max level for the mohave at the moment and consider equestria an add on.
2022993 no their are three dlc's for fallout new vegas and each one adds another 10 levels to the mac level cap and the original level cap is 30 without dlc so its 60 if you have done all the dlc.
2024350 no two of the only raise the lvl cap by 5
2036991
I honestly don't care. None of the characters actually know about the leveling up (besides maybe Pinkie) so it's trivial and unneeded.
2036997 fine
2037001 fine
the amount of fucks that she is not giving, so much empty space
2043103
Please expand on that, or I can't fix it.
This is really great so far. They all seem to be in-character, the story is really interesting, and the chapters are a decent length (I'd say they need to be longer, but that would just be me wanting to read more
).
Now, the problems.
First of all, you really need to find a proofreader to help you look for problems. Actually, you should probably make sure to read over each chapter after you finish them, because reading it to yourself (especially reading out loud) will help you spot mistakes you might have missed otherwise using a spell checker, which brings me to my next point.
The problems I've noticed in these chapters makes me think that you use a spell checker once to check for errors, and then call it a day. The reason I say this is that while I don't notice many misspelled words, I've noticed a lot of grammar mistakes, which most spell checkers won't pick up on. I won't point out every mistake, but here are some examples of what I mean:
See the problem? Was is repeated in the sentence. I've noticed this several times in pretty much every single chapter up to this point. Make sure to look over the chapter when you finish (or let a proofreader help you look for errors) to make sure you don't leave in repeated words and other similar mistakes.
You changed the perspective at the end (went from third-person to first-person), I haven't noticed this problem as often, but it's still something to look out for.
A few other things I noticed include missing words, tense changes (past at one part, then present, then back to past), and a few other minor issues. Nothing that can't be fixed with the help of a proofreader or simply looking over each chapter again after you finish them.
That said, good luck with the story. I'm really enjoying it right now, and I look forward to where you go with it.
2043292
Are you, by chance, a proofreader? (never would have caught those)
2043153
I think that's just pointing out how little she seems to care that she is now talking to a colorful pony. With wings.
Of course, this is the protagonist from a Fallout game, so that's probably normal for her.
2043320
Though I have no personal experience, I tend to think that I would hallucinate under those kinds of conditions.
But, yeah, the Courier's seen some shit.
2043327 I've seen some shit
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/433/714/c16.png i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/359/669/b72.jpg i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/270/796/a60.jpg i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/270/797/9c4.jpg i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/270/801/b05.jpg i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/270/814/13d.jpg i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/467/893/4e8.png i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/270/804/673.jpg i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/270/805/ac3.jpg i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/275/275/ae6.jpg i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/452/292/298.png
2043320 exactly
2043313
That's odd, I didn't get any kind of notification that you left a reply.
I'm actually not a proofreader (too busy with other things), but I try to be helpful by pointing out mistakes and leaving tips when I can (especially if it's a story I'm interested in).
As for having trouble catching some of the mistakes I mentioned? That's really not surprising. It's been shown again and again that most people have trouble spotting their own mistakes, even if they have little trouble spotting mistakes in another person's writing. For this case, the usual advice is to read what you're looking at out loud to yourself. When you read silently, you tend to automatically fix mistakes when you notice them without even realizing it, meaning they get left unnoticed. Reading out loud basically forces you to notice the mistakes, because when you see them and try to correct them automatically, it leads to a large interruption in the flow of reading. An example would be where I pointed out that you had repeated a word in a sentence. Reading it silently would lead you to correcting it in your head without you even thinking about it. Reading it out loud would interrupt your reading, because you either say it twice, or you stop because you notice it right before saying it.
I hope this helps. If you do want to find a proofreader, just type proofreader in the group search. There are several groups dedicated to providing help for authors, with many of the members being glad to help by proofreading.
2043517 I died
.
2044743 I'm gonna revise all the chapters then. That said, it might be a while 'fore the next chapter though.
2044790
Proofreaders and those Willing to Proofread
Here's the link to one of the groups I was talking about, in case you want to ask someone to proofread your story.
what happens when you go crazy on slasher and jet while drinking whisky?: you see colorful pony's talking to you
"Go to therapy they said. It'll help they said. You won't end up strapped to a table in a room with a talking horse..."
....wasteland therapy is bullshit!*throws hat at wall*
they always say that,but you always do end up like that
i can't allmost wait for more
Yes It lives!!!!
it's ALIVE!!!!!!
3354815>>3355445
That it is.
I plan to get back on this story and possibly my others now that I finally have my life in order. I'm afraid the next chapter won't be out within the week, tomorrow's my schools big rival game and I'm on starting offense and defense, so i'll be wiped out. Then on friday I have practice again, but if I manage my time well i'll have a (hopefully better than the latest) chapter out during the weekend!
Thanks for waiting by the way, I always loved this story but some stuff came up that forced me to drop it for a while.
Hey is the courier going to become a pony later on? because for some reason I cant stop think that she is going to become a pony.
3360252 that is actually a good idea if u ask me
2004872
Resets karma to neutral.
No ammo? Or was the boxes not food?
By my count, she has a 9mil, an assault rifle or marksman's rifle, and a missile launcher. How she hides that escapes me. I could see someone carrying a disassembled ar long distances,or assembled with a strap, but a fully assembled middle launcher, and ammo? where does she even carry it? It wouldn't even fit on her back...
Raritys shouldn't ever be used, as its a name. Possessive is rarity's. Raritys is like saying Jacobs.
4370615 Thanks for the help with the Rarity thing. I'll try to fix it. I'll get to it later, but going through every little detail of her inventory would be boring for both of us. I'll go into more detail later, but for now i 'll say you were right about everything except the missle launcher. The thing she slung around her torso was some kind of rifle, the thing she put in a holster was some kind of handgun, and the thing she put above her butt is a surprise. Although, never assume that what you see is what you get. If you've ever played fallout new vegas before, you know how easy it is to hide weapons, and just imagine what she could've packed while she was fixing her clothes...