My Little: Haunted Mansion
When hinges creak in doorless chambers. And strange and frightening sounds echo through the hall. Whenever candle lights flicker where the air is deathly still. That is the time when ghosts are present! Practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.
Welcome! Foolish mortals. I am your host. Your ghost host hehehe. Kindly read all the way through please, make sure there is room for everyone. Theres no turning back now.
“C'mon Max, just a few more feet.” An old man with a lantern and a shovel said walking through a dark old forest with his dog, who was practically all bones and skin.
The dog and the old man went up a hill and saw a creepy old mansion. The house had some windows opening and closing while others were broken entirely.
“Well, there it is.” The old man said. As they walked up to the house, they saw a cemetery.
“Whispering Glade Cemetery.” The old man said shining his lantern on the sign.
He opened the gate and saw all different types of tombstones. They walked in and then saw a tombstone that said, “Master Gracey laid to rest, no mourning please at his request.”
“This is it.” The old man said. “Well, let’s do this.”
The old man took out the shovel and started digging into the grave. Then he heard something on the path behind him. It was like footsteps.
“Who’s there?” The old man asked pulling his lantern up to see who was walking.
However no one was there. But the footsteps were still being heard. Then the footsteps were right in front of the old man. His eyes flailed back and forth, but still nothing. Suddenly, the footsteps were behind him and getting farther away.
The old man turned around and froze.
“KAW! KAW!” A raven on a tombstone cawed. The tombstone was engraved, ‘Here lies good old Fred, a big ol’ rock fell on his head.’
“Ah!” The old man screamed immediately looking at the tombstone, “A raven.”
“Watch out or the ghosts will follow you home.” The raven said before flying off into the cemetery.
“Did that raven just...” The old man said looking at the raven before he noticed a blue figure on the other side of the walkway. At this sight he dropped the lantern.
Suddenly, he heard singing. He walked over and saw 5 busts. They were singing a certain song something like this: “When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake. Spooks come out for a swinging wake! Happy haunts materialize!” And they kept singing.
The old man looked at them. Suddenly, out of a nearby gravestone, a decayed old creature popped out from behind it screeching, causing the man to scream.
Just then, blue apparitions appeared, rising out of the graves.
“AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!” The old man screamed. He dropped the lantern and ran off into the forest.
The old man didn’t even know where he was going. He just wanted to get out of there.
“AAAh!!!!!!!!” Luna screamed waking up.
She was in her bed. Luna turned her head looked out the window. She saw sunlight shining through a couple trees and clouds. Then she got out of bed.
“Celestia!!!!!!” Luna screamed as she ran out the door.
“What is it Luna?” Celestia asked as she poured herself a cup of her favorite, freshly brewed tea, “It shouldn't be time for you to raise the moon yet.”
“Celestia I had another vision!” Luna replied.
“You and that vision are really starting to creep me out.” Said Celestia. She took a nice, long sip of her tea, enjoying the simple complexity of flavors.
“Yeah, yeah. But it was about a human this time.” Said the night princess.
Celestia’s eyes shot open as she spat out her tea. “What! Luna you sure this wasn't just a dream? Our worlds have been separated for years.”
“I know. And you've said my visions were just a dream before. Remember Discord?” Luna said.
“I don’t like to talk about that.” Celestia mumbled crossing her forelegs.
“I said I knew he would return but you said he wouldn't.” Said Luna.
“I said don’t talk about it!” Celestia shouted.
“And then he hid the elements of harmony, caused eternal chaos for a day, And prevented me from waking up to try to fight him-” Luna said before she got cut off by her older sister.
“You are a heavy sleeper!” Celestia butted in.
“No I’m not! Explain one time where I slept in besides the Discord incident!”
“The changeling attack.” Celestia said.
“There was a changeling attack?” The night princess asked.
“Oh brother! But if you have these visions how could you not tell if you were going to become evil?” Celestia said not noticing Luna’s horn glowing.
“Oh please! We all know that everyone becomes evil. Why would I tell you that?” Luna said taking a drink of water, "Besides you will probably become evil too."
“What makes you say that sister?” Celestia asked.
“You live for an eternity I think you will turn to the dark side one day.” Luna said putting the cup down her horn now stopped glowing, “It gets boring being good all the time. That’s why I changed into Nightmare Moon.”
“Yeah, well.” Celestia said getting another drink and then spitting it out, “Wait, what?!”
“Nothing!” Luna said.
“Oooooook then.” Celestia said, “Look even if you did have a vision, what will you do about it?”
“I know a pony.” Luna said with a smirk on her face, “Or six.”
“Whatever. I’ll be in the other room if you need me.” Celestia said walking off.
“I’ll be in my bedroom if you need me.” Luna said.
Suddenly Luna’s horn started to glow again and a piece of paper lifted up.
“Let’s see here.” Luna said looking at the paper, “Dear Twilight Sparkle, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda, uhu uhu, aaaaand yep its good.”
The paper suddenly burst into flames.
“Good luck Twilight.” Luna said.
“Spike! Spike! Wake up!” Twilight said tapping her hoof against a sleeping baby dragon. “It’s time for work!”
“Ugh. Mphlblaber.” Spike mumbled trying to wake himself up. “Mgph!” He said holding his claw up to his mouth. Fire came out of the dragons mouth, but then turned into a note.
“Huh? What's this?” Twilight said, and she reading it. “Dear Twilight Sparkle, it is I the Princess of the Night, Luna. I have found out that there is a dent between our world and the human world. Something is causing this dent and I want you to figure out what it is.”
Twilight read.
“That sounds serious. Well I’m all up for serious things! Time to get the Elements of Harmony together!”
“What is a human?” Spike asked. Twilight opened her mouth and raised her hoof to explain, but a thoughtful expression fell upon her face. She raised her hoof and tapped her chin. She then shrugged her shoulders.
“I don't know.” Twilight replied.
what the chirp is this
1522490 I dunno. What the fuck are you?
1522506
chirp chirp
How did I expect people to hate my stories?
1522511 allow this to answer your statement.
1522531
i hear my cousin frank chirping in the background
1522537 To bad. I used up my garbage day.
1522550 Oh boo hoo. Hold on i'll just step on him.
hey guys whats going on in this thread
1522598
frank run
1522598 Ur cuz hatin. Me hatin on ur cuz. It's just like school!
1522611 At least I make stories.
I'm so sorry about those two. I don't know how they got out of the jar...
Frank! Cricket! Get over here!
1522636
cmooooooooooooon
1522636
but moooooooooom
1522636 ... Ok then.
1522640
1522643
No buts. You're both grounded for a month.
1522643 I am quite confused.
1522653
Can I have them?
1522653 .......... Huh. Everything worked out for me once. Alright then.
1522673
No. Go back to the airplane, Wil.
1522681
But...
My life is messed up.
1522686
Airplane. Now.
1522698
Awwwww
Da fuq happened in these comments.
1522705 Ha ha!
1522709 the Apocalypse.
Remember to capitalize your names. And it's a bit 'said' heavy. Other words if you please.
1522709
I second this... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
1522724 I! Have no idea what you just said.
Also, you should refrain from using words like "thing" or "stuff."
This shows the reader that you cannot generate creative imagery and it breaks the reader from their immersion in the story.
Upvoted because of comments.
1522743 Yeah I suck at that stuff. I'm just awful at thinking up shit like that.
1522739
See this. Missed capitalization on Rarity. Just one example of a few.
Said this, said that, too many saids. Use other words instead of said. OK boyo.
I don't even know what's happening anymore D:
1522744 I don't know if I should be completely offended cause you don't really like the story or I should thank you for upvoting.
By the gods, this is probably the best comment section I have ever seen.
But yes. Capitalization, Word Choice, and the like. Those need to be worked on.
1522763 Yeah I know. I tried to not have many saids but they keep coming to my dumbass 12 year old mind.
i got out of the jar again
1522777 ya don't say?
1522786
GOD DAMNIT
That may be one of the greatest comment threads I've ever seen on this site
1522770 .... >:D This is all an illusion! You aren't really here! You are talking to a meat saucer!
1522797
I concur.
1522797 I know. On my story to. Weird.
1522744>>1522774
Another happy customer, I see.
1522790
Pffffffffff my baaaaaaad
1522805 Lol.