Oh the Humanity! A Si Fron and Stormcaller Tale

by Jack Frankenstien

Chapter 1: Pants

Oh the Humanity! A Si Fron and Stormcaller Tale

Chapter 1: Pants. No, I'm serious.

Darkness... The best starting point for practically anything story related. In the spiritual sense, it is the starting point for a journey into metaphorical Light. In a physical sense, it is an absence of light that one must search for. For the unconscious protagonist, it is often the first thing they notice mentally before they think to open their eyes.

Well, save for this figure. The first thing he noticed consciously was the noise. He always was woken up by some sort of noise and he hated it because, nine times out of nine, he would always be in the middle of some interesting dream. Even though he wasn't dreaming about bizarre worlds or crazy characters born form figments of his imagination, he still didn't appreciate the interruption.

As he responded to this unpleasantness by turning over, he began to notice a few other things. The first and foremost being that he was very uncomfortable. It was no surprise seeing how the bed he was laying in was very hard and felt like it had grass covering it. The distinct possibility that he might actually be on the ground occurred to him as he felt himself roll onto something distinctly weed-like. Being the stick in the mud that has never gone to a party to get himself plastered, he was startled and genuinely confused as to why he was lying on the ground.

He started to panic inwardly as the noise that forced the figure to wake up earlier rose in volume a bit. As he listened to it, he realized that it was a group of people murmuring. Hundreds of scenarios involving him being in some sort of humiliating position in public, most likely naked, bubbled to the surface of his mind. Dreading the possibilities, he reluctantly opened his eyes, knowing that he had to face the situation he was in at some point or another. Once the figure’s eyes opened, he was greeted to the sight of ponies surrounding him and chattering among themselves.

His mind stalled for a moment as all of the details of odd looking, multicolored talking ponies flooded it through his eyeballs. The scent of grass wafting to his nose, reminding him that there were other senses to pay attention to, jump-started the lump of grey matter right into overdrive. Within seconds, he scrambled onto his hind hooves in panic as his bewilderment seized the controls. He, however, had only just enough time to register the fact that he was trying to stand upright on hooves before gravity and the evolutionary traits of equines sent him plummeting back onto the ground with a hard thud.

As he lay on his back in a daze, his mind took the opportunity to distract him with the fact that he was still in his regular daytime clothes while it still could save his sanity. His white shirt, which now pinched where his new armpits were, was a bit tight on his hooved forelegs and the sleeves didn’t reach all the way down to the end. His black pants also were hugging his hind legs a bit tightly and severely hampering his attempts to wiggle them. A second later, he remembered that he was now vaguely equine in shape when he saw that the fur coat on his forelegs was just as white, if not brighter, than the shirt he wore.

Before the pony could investigate, scream, or continue to react in any other reasonable way, a decidedly pink pony popped up right in his face and introduced herself.

“HI!” Yelled the pink pony. “I’m Pinkie Pie!”

The white pony then passed out from the resulting mental breakdown. A few moments later, he was once again forced awake by outside influences. Once again, his mind jumped through the same hoops it did before. This time, however, he settled for just being startled instead going straight to full blown panic the moment he saw the pink pony shaking him with one of her forehooves. When this was all said and done, he leapt to all four hooves awkwardly and confronted the oddity.

As he looked at her, he noticed that the pony’s mane was styled rather like hair. Or rather, as many fashionable ponies would argue, not styled at all, seeing as how it was more like a giant, poofy set of knots and curls. On her flank was a set of balloons, one yellow and two blue, with her eyes matching the blue ones. Before he could fully comprehend this and its implications, the pink pony began to chatter rapidly with a light and bubbly voice.

“Hi there again! Are you ok, because the first time I was walking down the street to find a store because me and Rarity had run out of snacks again and I was kinda getting hungry so I went down the street to buy some when I heard a big commotion and thought ‘Wow! That’s a lot of ponies in the park, I wonder if they’re having a party,’ so I came over here and saw all of the other ponies crowded around you so I decided to come up to you and say hi but you were asleep so I waited and waited and waited and waited until you finally woke up and were like ‘AAAAH!’ and tried to stand up on your hind legs way too fast and, trust me, I would know since I practice that a lot so I can get stuff like flour and sugar and cookies out of those really high up cabinets without getting my hooves all over everything and so I can get it down a lot easier and-“

The mare paused for a moment, even not looking winded in the slightest. She put one of her forehooves to her chin in thought for a moment before she asked, in a very simple manner,

“What were we talking about again?”

Finally snapping out of his stupor, the white stallion shook his head. He then looked and blinked furiously at the pony for a moment more before his eyes widened in shock and recognition. He had seen this pony before, but not in like this. With her form covered with the complex shadows and textures that are harder to describe than they are to see, it had been hard to tell that this was the same Pinkie Pie from the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It was all he could do to stammer as his brain tried to process this impossible happening.

“P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p,” he stammered as if his mind had been caught in an endless loop.

“OOOoooOOOOO!” replied the familiar pink pony in an excited tone. “A guessing game! Ok! Ummmmmm, potatoes! How about pirates? No wait, popcorn! Oh wait, I know! It’s-“

“PINKIE PIE!”

It should be noted at this point that it was somepony else that shouted Pinkie Pie. While it may seem out of place, it should also be noted that the white pony is a tad paranoid. As he stammered, one of the thoughts in his head managed to drown out some of the others in the cacophony that was his brain. This dangerous jerk of a thought went around to every neurotic spot in the brain and claimed that this situation is so impossible that he must have fallen into a coma at some point and that this was all a hyper- realistic dream based on the aforementioned cartoon show. If it had more time, it would have eventually won over even the most optimistic of hopes and drove the poor person turned pony truly insane.

However, the sensation of having a dark blue coated, green and sky-blue maned Pegasus jump on you from the top of a building several stories high while he screams out the name of his favorite pony leads to a feeling of pain so unique that if you haven’t felt it before, then it would be impossible to replicate even in the most accurate coma induced dream. The fact hit home as the white pony experienced this distinctive pain and came to the realization as he passed out for the second time that day that everything that he is experiencing is very real, much to his misfortune. This resulted in the thought that had been trying to drive the pony into madness being promptly and metaphorically beaten up and tossed in a pile with the rest of the idiotic thoughts in the brain along with 'I hate everything because...' and 'Hey, wouldn't it be a good idea if...' thoughts.

---

The white pony awoke in a much fluffier spot this time, although it occurred to him almost immediately that something was wrong. He opened his eyes slowly and turned his head in a slow sweeping motion and his gaze was greeted with the sight of the pegasus stallion who had jumped on him and the pink pony known as Pinkie Pie chattering off to the side of his bed. As insane as that normally would be under ordinary circumstances, the splitting headache that was, thankfully enough, wearing off was proof enough that he wasn’t experiencing some coma-dream.

Feeling too timid and cautious to speak to them at that moment, he sat up as silently as he could and scanned the room in an effort to make sense of his surroundings. From what he could tell, the place seemed like an ordinary fancy hotel room. It was even complete with all the standard furnishings as his eyes passed over the standard bed, closet, coat rack, mini fridge, table, and couch. While he questioned how the ponies who used this room were able to manipulate the various objects with comfort and ease, he concluded that there was nothing wrong with the room itself.

He continued to sit there in bed for a minute before climbing out from underneath the covers. It was at this moment when the thought finally occurred to the unfortunate stallion when he noticed that he could now move more easily: He had somehow become naked. He may have been in a society that didn’t mind this at that moment, but the stallion was feeling very self conscious about it nonetheless. He had been raised in a society that frowned upon indecency, after all, due to their body structure not favoring the ideals of concerned parents. In seconds he was back underneath the covers and nervously peeking out from underneath them, his eyes dashing all across the room in a desperate bid to locate his now ill fitting shirt and pants. This did not go unnoticed by the pegasus nearby, who felt it was necessary to greet the unfortunate soul quivering on the hotel bed.

“Oh hi there! Sorry about falling on you from the top of a three story building, but I really wanted to fly since I just became a pony a few hours ago although I may have been a pony for longer than that since I wasn’t awake when I was turned into one which is funny because that always happens in fan fictions, the not being conscious while being transformed bit not the being transformed bit in general, and I have always wondered what it was like being turned into a pony although I suppose if it was painful I am really glad I wasn’t awake because then I would be all like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH and in pain and all sorts of other not fun things and no amount of super awesome powers or ancient baddies to beat up would make up for it although I did meet Pinkie Pie but even then………”

He paused and put one of his hooves to his chin. After trying to puzzle it out, he turned to the pink mare to ask, “What was I talking about again?”

“You were talking about why you were jumping off a three story building before you started talking about what it would be like to get turned into a pony,” offered Pinkie Pie helpfully.

“Thanks!”

“No problem. Trust me, I know what that’s like.”

“Anyway, I had turned into a pony- but not just any pony a Pegasus pony as you can see- and before I was a human, which is sort of like an ape only without any hair, and humans don’t have wings so I never flew before and I really wanted to do it so I started running and flapping my wings like I’ve seen other pegasi do on TV but I wasn’t flying so I decided to see if jumping off of a really high building would somehow cause me to figure out how to fly super duper well before I turned into a pony pancake –which, by the way, wouldn’t have been very tasty at all unless you were some kind of evil meat eating pony in which case maybe I would taste just a little bit funny- but I still fell and I was about to go splat when I saw Pinkie Pie and I was really super duper excited and went ‘PINKIE PIE!’ because I am a really big fan of hers and I am often told that I act like her even though I really don’t know why they tell me that and then I fell on you! Sorry about that, by the way.”

The white pony said nothing for a moment, deciding to stare at Pinkie in concern. After seeing nothing but a blank expression on her face, he finally decided to speak to the blue Pegasus, giving him the best ‘What on Equestria were you thinking!?’ look as he did so.

“Why did you mention that you were a you-know-what?” he hissed nervously through clenched teeth.

The blue Pegasus cocked his head in curiosity. He stared at the white pony in thought before a grin broke out on his face. Then he began to giggle softly at first before it developed into full a full blown belly laugh. After a moment of this, the stallion stopped to catch his breath and started explaining his position once he had stopped panting so heavily.

“Because I didn’t know if you were a normal pony or not, silly! And if you were a normal pony, which is obvious now that you aren’t because you asked that question, then you would go around thinking that I was some sort of crazy normal pony who just realized that he has never flown before and not realize that I wasn’t originally a pony so I told you. And why is being a human a bad thing? I mean, I know that a bunch of us have been known to do lots of bad stuff, but that doesn’t mean that ALL humans are bad. In fact, I know a bunch of humans online who are all very nice and love My Little Pony and aren’t meany pants at all! Oh! Maybe we can talk to each other online if we somehow get internet here! My username is Stormcaller! In fact, I am also using it as my pony name! Hello!“

At this point the white pony remembered who the blue pegasus was. It was a pity that the earth pony wasn’t drinking a glass of water, because the spit take would have been perfect given the amount of shock that hit his brain once it made the connection. Fans of the spit-take cliche suddenly felt very depressed at the missed opportunity.

“STORMCALLER!?”

“Eeyup! That’s what I said!” Then a look of realization came upon StormCaller . “Wait a second... Are you one of the ponies I hang out with online!?”

The white pony nodded.

“Y-y-yes! It’s me, GodBlogger, although I would like to be called Si Fron here.”

Stormcaller then broke out into the largest smile that Si Fron had ever seen and tackled said pony in a hug.

“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Well I mean I can but it just is so incredible that I felt like I had to say that!”

Si Fron, not used to such treatment, swiftly, but politely, broke away and got off the bed, once again wrapping himself in the bed sheets.

“I can’t believe it either! I mean, how did you get here?” asked the former human, the staggering amount of shock in his voice displaying itself very apparently. The Pegasus paused at this and looked towards the ceiling in thought. Eventually, he returned his gaze to his friend and shrugged with his wings.

“I dunno. When I came to, I was asleep underneath a newspaper. Apparently, everypony thought I was a hobo or something and didn’t bother seeing what I was doing and whatnot.” He then paused and turned to Pinkie. “Does Equestria have hobos?”

“Only if they want to be hobos,” Cheerfully replied the bubbly mare.

“Fair enough. So yeah, nopony gathered around me like they did with you. By the way, do you know how you got here? I mean here in Equestria, not here in the hotel room because you were clearly unconscious when me and Pinkie dragged you up here and you probably wouldn’t have known that unless you really weren’t unconscious in which case I have to say that was a really Meany McMeanerson thing to do because you were HEAVY and it would have been a whole lot easier if you walked up here yourself! No offense.”

“Umm, I was unconscious, but still, none taken, ” Replied Si Fron, who had realized by this point that he was just an earth pony since he didn’t feel anything weighing down on his back or anything resembling a horn on his forehead as he massaged it with his left fore hoof. “I don’t remember how I got to Equestria either.”

“Oh well, maybe this is like a fanfiction and we’ll figure that out later when the big bad reveals his sinister plot or something!” StormCaller then began giggling. “Heeheeheeheehee, plot.”

Si Fron rolled his eyes at this before remembering the reason for this somewhat pleasant revelation. He turned to face Pinkie Pie, mentally preparing himself to do damage control to whatever else StormCaller had told the naturally sentient equine as the aforementioned pegasus giggled at the mention of plot.

“Well, I guess he told you that he was a human already, huh?”

“Of course! He also told me about how all of you humans do all sorts of silly things like wear clothes all the time, walk around on two legs, and have elections every few years to see who gets to run the country instead of having somepony like Celestia take care of things. He was also about to tell me about something called MLP, but then you woke up and he got all distracted with apologizing to you and explaining that he was a human and you two realizing that you were best friends and that the word plot is funny!”

The white earth pony let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding in. If they learned that, in another universe at least, they all were just cartoon characters, things could get more serious and problematic than he could deal with at the moment. He was still reeling from the fact that he and some guy he knew from an online comments section had been turned into ponies and thrown into Equestria. He was pretty sure that he didn’t have the patience to deal with an existential crisis or two from Pinkie Pie or any of her other friends.

“That’s a relief.”

“Huh?" Pinkie Pie blinked and gave the black maned stallion a funny look. "What do you mean?”

“Um, I mean that I am relieved that you are taking this in stride and that you aren’t freaking out or thinking that we are crazy or something!” Si Fron quickly yelped, trying to cover up his mistake.

“Well of course! Why would anypony, or rather, anyhuman lie about what they were? Even so, it was a bit harder to convince Rarity, but after a little bit of explaining she believed us!”

“Wait a second,” Interrupted Si Fron. “Rarity is here too?”

“Why of course!” Chimed the very unicorn they had been talking about.

Rarity, with her stylish purple mane and dazzling white fur, trotted in with all of the grace anypony can muster. She had a pencil in her ear and her red glasses dangling from her neck by the gold chain they were attached to. Her eyes looked towards Stormcaller with a little bit of suspicion, but she held her peace and continue to speak in a pleasant manner.

“I’m so sorry about What had happened to you earlier. I hope that you are alright now."

"I am now, since the headache has subsided a bit," Si Fron nodded. "Although I am still a bit sore though..." As Stormcaller smiled ashamedly, Si Fron nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Umm, say.. I know this may be weird, but... uhh, do you know where my clothes are?"

"Oh, I took them. They were just so horribly designed and poorly adjusted that I had to take them off for your sake!”

Si Fron gaped for a moment before realization and indignation overtook him.

“You took my clothes!” He pointed at her out of the reflexive need to be dramatic.

“That is what I said,” Rarity said, raising an eyebrow at his reaction.

“B-but they were still on my body!” Si Fron half-stammered in indignation.

“You were uncomfortable,” She tried to reason back.

“But they were on my body!" He repeated. "And now I’m naked!”

“It’s ok sweetie," Rarity laid a hoof on his shoulder, trying to change tactics from reason to comfort. "We don’t mind it.”

“But I do! It’s embarrassing!" He said wildly. "And you undressed me! Isn’t that indecent?”

Rarity sighed in mild defeat.

“It isn’t going to change the fact that most other ponies aren’t going to be wearing clothes at all most of the time,” She said gently, subtly dodging the other point he brought up. “If they aren't going to care, then why should you be embarrassed about a silly little thing like not having any clothes yourself?”

Si Fron let the words sink in for a moment. His eyes darted from pony to pony briefly before he broke out into a full on blush. Swiftly, he dived underneath the frame of the bed. As he did so, he dragged the covers with him and pulled them over his eyes in an effort not to be an unintentional pervert. Rarity face hoofed at the white earth pony’s behavior while Pinkie Pie and Stormcaller began giggling.

“Wow,” The party pony said in between giggles. “That’s pretty silly.”

“I know!” Agreed StormCaller during his own bout of giggles. “I can’t believe he didn’t realize that we were nudists until just now!”

---

It had taken their combined efforts and the promise of Si Fron’s old outfit to get the sensitive Earth pony to finally come out of the bed, but after a good hour, they had succeeded. Although his face was permanently stained with a blush as he joined them in his ill fitting outfit, Si Fron did his best to remain calm and as fluster free as possible.

“So, are you sure you want to wear those ragged, oddly made things?” Inquired Rarity as she sat down at the table. “I am sure it can’t be pleasant or fashionable in the slightest.”

“I’m sure. To be honest, I feel much more comfortable this way,” He mentioned as he tried sitting down on the other side of the table, shifting from position to position in an attempt to get comfortable. He winced as the shirt cut into his shoulders and his pants squeezed part of his legs as he endeavored to do so. “At least emotionally.”

“Maybe you could ask Rarity to make you a new set! Suggested the pink mare as she took a position next to her 100% equine friend. "She is still trying to come up with a last minute design for the main showcase after all.”

“I couldn’t," Si Fron shook his head as StormCaller plopped down next to him. "It wouldn’t be right to ask something from either of you if I couldn’t pay for it.”

“Oh trust me, darling, it wouldn’t be much trouble at all! Well, maybe a little when it comes to those pants,” Rarity debated, both with herself and the white stallion. “But the challenge may be just what I need to be on the cutting edge! I mean, an item as bizarre as pants normally aren’t practical or fashionable for ponies, but if a few alterations were made in just the right spots and the design was adjusted ever so slightly…. Oh! Ideeaaa!”

Quickly, she rose up and headed towards the door. “This is simply a wonderful inspiration! I must head over to my design room and-“

“No, please don’t bother yourself with this!" Si Fron hastily interrupted her before the enthusiastic unicorn could make it to the doorway. "I would feel guilty for having you go through all that trouble without at least doing something to make it up for you!”

“I don’t mind at all darling!" She waved offhoofedly at the doorway. "It’s the least I could do for giving such a wonderful idea!”

“But it just doesn’t sit right with me unless I could pay you or something and all I have are literally the clothes on my back!”

Rarity gave up trying to convince him to accept her charity for free and she paused for a moment, putting a hoof to her chin in thought. After a moment, she stamped her hoof against the floor in a sweeping motion, making a sound akin to a snap, and sang out in epiphany. The stylish white unicorn then turned to fully face Si Fron, gesturing with her hoof as she spoke.

“Then why don’t you model my outfits at the showcase tonight? If I’m going to be making an outfit for you, I might as well display it. And since the showcase requires live modeling in order to show that ponies can actually wear it, put into place because of a rather embarrassing fiasco a few years back, I might as well pick you to model my line for stallions! When the show is over, you can keep the outfit as payment!”

The white stallion was still a bit hesitant about this, letting caution guide his judgment, but he still perked up at the idea of being able to get what he needed and not being a burden for others at the same time. “Really?”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly-" Rarity began, going through the now well practiced motions.

“Stick a cupcake in my eye!” StormCaller finished enthusiastically for no apparent reason. This action earned him an odd stare or three, but all he did was wing-shrug in reply. Then he jumped up and started bouncing in place as his face lit up. “Oh, Oh! Can I join too? I mean, if my friend is going to be in a pony fashion show, then why can’t I? Sure, it isn’t the most exciting or fun thing in the world, but I would get to do it with one of my friends and see hot models even though they aren’t or they weren’t my species or whatever and I would get to feel pretty and really, what human can say they participated in a pony fashion show? I mean, they could, but then they would be liars and lying is bad because when somepony finds out you’ve lied then you look all ridiculous and nopony trusts you anymore and losing a friend’s trust is the easiest way to lose a friend-“

“FOREVER!”

The four looked at each other for a moment after finishing the quote in unison. Then, they all laughed at their silly antics, although Rarity's was a bit forced since she hadn’t expected the two stallions to join in as well.

“Well,” Rarity replied after they had finished with their moment and she had shoved her discomfort to the side for the sake of convenience. “I don’t see why not. In fact, this could be the perfect opportunity to experiment with a few designs I have had in mind for a while, but could never find a Pegasus stallion to try them on! I could finally get those stylish vests finished and maybe even get a whole new lineup going! OOH! This is so exciting! Come on, I need to take your measurements!”

With Rarity in full on fashion mode, she began bouncing out of the room in a Pinkie Pie manner, followed the springy mare herself and her Pegasus fan, both bounding out of the room the same way. Si Fron, not wanting to be left out, gave a few experimental hops himself before the pain decided for him that it would be better to wait until he had better fitting clothes.

---

One enlightening moment later, Si Fron flopped onto the floor outside of Rarity's private design room. As he tried to make the room stop spinning, he addressed Pinkie.

“You know, now that I think about it, why would they even need rooms for last minute designs anyway? Shouldn’t they have already made their outfits by now?”

“Because it always seems more impressive if you are able to come up with and make something super duper fantastiwondeful off the top of your head, silly!" Pinkie Pie answered joyfully, getting rid of the dizziness with a quick shake of her head. "Also, the expo requires that at least one outfit is made here, according to Rarity. The ponies running the show thought it would make the whole thing last longer if the designers had to actually spend time making something at the expo and because they spend more time here they spend more money and they get even richer than before.”

StormCaller, stumbling around like he had one too many salt shots, simply commented with a simple “That makes sense,” before tripping over his own hooves and face-planting on the hotel’s plush carpet.

Si Fron got up once he could tell which way was up and shook his head, still wearing a face of confusion.

“At any rate, I didn’t expect things to go that quickly or that violently! Doesn’t she do things differently back in the Boutique?”

“Mmhmm! But she isn’t in such a hurry back in Ponyville when she has several days to make a dress so she can take it easy and not have to work so hard or fiercely. Besides, if you think getting your measurements taken was crazy, just wait until she has to make adjustments! THAT’S a doozy!”

Pinkie’s forehead scrunched up for a moment before she turned a suspicious gaze towards the white stallion, who was shuddering at the thought of continuing to be used as a living mannequin.

“Hey wait a second… if you’re from another world, then how do you know that Rarity lives at the Carousel Boutique?”

As Stormcaller stood up again, a large grin spread across his face.

“That’s easy!” he replied. “That’s because in our world-”

Si Fron, realizing what was coming from a mile away, quickly intercepted and covered Stormcaller’s mouth.

“Excuse me a moment Pinkie.”

He took Stormcaller out of Pinkie’s apparent hearing range.

“What do you think you’re doing!?” The earth pony hissed with worry.

“I was going to tell her about My Little Pony, duh!” Replied the blue pegasus like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But that is a bad idea! Do you have any idea the confusion or the panic or the issues that would cause?”

“Well," Stomrcaller thought on it a moment, putting a hoof to his mouth. "Maybe for other ponies, but not for Pinkie Pie! She can handle it!”

Si Fron bit his lip in panic as every alarm bell in his head rang out and told him to think of a reason to not tell Pinkie Pie about MLP. Thankfully, his normally slow mind managed to choke up a good response in a reasonable amount of time for once.

“Maybe, but if she knew and got excited about it, then she would tell the others! What happens then?”

Stormcaller thought about it for another moment, tapping a hoof to his chin in thought. Coming upon a satisfactory reply, he pointed the hoof upwards and flicked it towards the earth pony like one would do with a finger when responding in a similar manner.

“What if we make her Pinkie Promise not to tell the others?”

Si Fron took a moment to weigh the possibilities. Seeing the sound logic in Stormcaller’s logic, he then sighed in defeat. Instead of fighting against the idea, he decided to compromise with the hyper Pegasus.

“…..Fine, but we won’t tell her right now. We’ll wait until it is appropriate, like if the fate of the world depended on it or if she made us Pinkie Pie promise her to tell the whole truth or something. Deal?”

The pegasus nodded satisfactorily. “Okie Dokie Loki!”

No sooner than when he finished his sentence Pinkie Pie bounced in front of the two humans in eager excitement, having completely forgotten about the odd behavior of her two new friends in order to focus on more important things like fun and how pegasi fly if they aren’t aerodynamic.

“Soooo, now that you two are done talking about whatever it was that you were talking about, what do you guys want to do first? We have about an hour while Rarity works on the clothes, so we have a while to do whatever you want to do while you stay here in Equestria and, more specifically, here in Manehatten!”

“Wah!” Si Fron yelped in surprise, not having gotten adjusted to real life exposure to the pink mare. Upon recovering, his brows scrunched up in confusion. “Wait, we aren’t in Ponyville?”

“Nope!” piped StormCaller. “I thought that was pretty obvious so I was all curious about where we were and I asked Pinkie Pie who then told me as we carried you up to the room that she and Rarity are just visiting for the expo! I guess that means we’re super duper lucky to have run into them. Or maybe we’re destined to do awesome stuff with them! Ooh, maybe things will be like a fanfiction and we’ll even get to use the Element of Harmony in a super duper ultra awesome showdown alongside some of our friends from the comments board! Dibs on Laughter!”

“Nuh-uh!” countered the real bearer of Laughter, not acknowledging that most ponies had never heard of her and her friend’s exploits. “I have Laughter!”

“But I really want to use Laughter! And besides, what if the big bad took out a giant laser cannon and-“

Si Fron tuned out the two hyperactive ponies’ conversation and paused a moment to take in the other things that were currently going on around him. As he watched the ponies go about their daily lives, it finally sank in that he was far beyond the world he was used to. It was familiar in shape, with its Earth-like structures and decorations, yet it had an atmosphere, a soul even, that was so unlike his old world. Dwelling on it, he felt freshness well up from his heart. Instinctively, he could tell that this experience could be the new start that he yearned for. It was brand new and invigorating! Right then and there, the first thing he wanted to do was-

His eyes widened. He didn’t know. All of the times he spent imagining such lofty scenarios never prepared him for this. He didn’t even consider it being possible, even though it was a desperate wish of his. Yet, now that he was here, he was at a loss for what to do. What did he want to do?

He carefully turned his gaze to every corner of the room, soaking in every detail that was available in search of an answer. It was all so real, it was now surreal. Just being here was incredible, he decided at last, and he decided the thing he wanted to do the most right now was soak in the moment.

“YO! Si Fron!" StormCaller waved a hoof in front of him, snapping the earth pony out of his poetic moment. "Did you hear that? You can have the Element of Kindness when we have to take on the big bad! Isn’t that awesome?”

“Woah!" The white pony shook his head, snapping out of his reverie. "Ummm, yes that’s cool.”

“Awesome! So, now that we have that settled, what we need to do is wander around the city aimlessly until something happens! Maybe we can hear a juicy rumor that foreshadows some awesome thing that’s going to happen, or we actually run into the big bad himself in disguise. If that happens, we can take him down right then and there and spend the rest of our time here on vacation! Or maybe-“

StormCaller’s rant ended when his stomach let out a loud growl. Pinkie Pie giggled as the blue Pegasus blushed.

“Or we could go grab a bite to eat,” The pink mare said with a hoof over her large grin.

“Yeah. Can’t save the world on an empty stomach!” agreed Stormcaller as he continued to blush madly.

So the group left the building and began sauntering down the street. Since a pizza was something that Si Fron and Stormcaller were familiar with, yet it could easily be topped with Equestrian toppings, it was decided that it would be an excellent idea for a lunch.

In the meantime, Pinkie Pie chattered on and on about all of the different things she knew about Manehatten, from the fact that it is one of the only three cities in Equestria to the tidbit about it being called the creative center of the country. Stormcaller, hearing that Equestria wasn’t the only country in the world, drilled her about all she knew about the surrounding countries. Si Fron only half-listened as he soaked in the sights around him.

The newly ponified human looked on in curious awe as he watched a unicorn pass out newspapers from her stand right into the mouth of an earth pony who, with a bit of skill and dexterity, balanced it on one hoof as he walked with practiced ease to his destination. Above him, pegasi flew from place to place either carrying saddlebags or seemingly defying gravity in more blatant ways as they carried carts filled with produce and materials behind them. He was even surprised when he saw a pegasus use their wings like a pair of arms and hands, skillfully wrapping around the fliers as they waved them about and passed one on to a passerby.

All of these amazing, yet common in this world, occurrences touched and amazed Si Fron a lot more than Stormcaller's conversation with Pinkie did. When he realized that she was talking about the diplomatic relations between ponies and griffons, it surprised him just how distracted he got from the different environment. he doubled his resolve to pay attention to Pinkie, but he gave up when he realized that he was too far behind in the conversation to understand what toupees and feather dusters had to do with properly entering the griffon's foreign embassy.

Once they had made it to the restaurant, Si Fron flinched harshly. He had just remembered that he still didn’t have any money and thus he couldn't pay for the pizza. Immediately, he shrank a little and he nervously and shamefully tapped Pinkie on the shoulder to get her attention.

“Umm, Pinkie?”

“Yes, Si?” She looked over her shoulder at him.

“I think I’ll stay out here," He shamefully turned his head away. "I just realized I don’t have any money for the pizza and-”

“So?” Piped up StormCaller. “I don’t have any money either. And besides, people do this all of the time!”

“Still, I wouldn’t feel good if I-” Started the earth pony before the blue and green maned stallion held up a hoof to stop him.

“Just chill out and stop being such a Serious McSeriouston! It’s Equestria! What’s the point of going to another world if you don’t enjoy yourself? Let’s get the pizza and not have to worry about silly little things like money and whatnot!”

The white stallion sighed in defeat and forced a small smile on his face. He was very ashamed at having Pinkie use her money to buy his pizza, especially since he had no way of paying her back, but knowing the that the two probably wouldn’t relent until he accepted the pizza for free he gave in anyway. He felt terrible, but he still managed to play along.

“All right, I won't worry about it.”

“WOOHOO! Now come on and let’s eat!” Yelled Pinkie as she grabbed Si Fron by the leg and dragged him in the building with abundant enthusiasm, followed shortly afterward by an equally rambunctious Stormcaller.

---

Two half cheese, half dandelion pizzas later, the trio were happily satisfied with the knowledge that the pizza was delicious and that, conveniently for their biology, Si Fron and Stormcaller's tastes had adjusted to the foods their new bodies normally ate. After explaining to Pinkie what a fanfiction was over the food while dodging the existential elephant in the room with various excuses, the trio began to walk back to the hotel with little to no fanfare.

Once the trio had made their way back to Rarity’s booth when they had reached the hotel, all three of them were sent into something that could be given no less than the title of Fashion Tornado. True to Pinkie’s prediction, it was even more rough and chaotic than when they got their measurements. After a few hours of fitting, refitting, and being measured again in the quickest and most violent fashion possible, the three unfortunate models had been generously given about thirty minutes to reorient themselves with the directions they formerly recognized as up, down, and sideways before they had to go to the dressing room for the modeling show.

“I lie down corrected,” Stormcaller commented with his voice wavering as unsteadily as a drunkard in the middle of an earthquake. “Being a fashion model is 20% more exciting than I thought it would be.”

“It always is,” Murmured Pinkie as she tried and failed to get back up on her hooves like a newborn foal.

“I now pity all of the anime characters who have ever gotten dizzy eyes on their show,” Said Si Fron as his eyes literally spun in opposing directions like interlocking gears. "Being this dizzy is painful."

They barely had time to recuperate when Rarity came back to lead them to the backstage waiting rooms. Once they were given their first outfits and placed into the waiting room, Si Fron suddenly began to get self conscious. He was going out in front of a large crowd to show off some clothes, probably judging his every move and action in the process. The thought of being judged, scrutinized, and examined by hundreds to thousands of very nitpicky designers began frighten the poor soul. Still, he knew that he had to do this and tried to calm himself down in time to do his job properly.

Once the show began, a pony wearing a pair of half moon glasses holding a clipboard came into the room and began to call out a few names. Afterwards, she left for a few moments and returned to call out more names. One by one, the fashion models left and eventually returned with new outfits and waited for their moment to bask in the limelight once more. Stormcaller, as this went on, chatted with the models and asked them about what it was like to be a model and why they were wearing such silly hats. Pinkie Pie did the same, only she also invited a few of the models who lived fairly close to Ponyville to attend one of her parties once the expo was over. Si Fron, however, was growing so nervous that he eventually started to paw the ground and fiddle with any small object that wasn’t claimed by anypony in an effort to distract his mind. Pinkie Pie, noticing Si Fron’s behavior, hopped on over in her frilly dress.

“Hey Si Fron! What’s wrong?”

“Oh Pinkie!" He jumped, dropping the pen he was holding on his hoof. "I, ummm…. I’m just…. A bit nervous, I guess…”

“You guess?”

He blushed. “I guess it’s a bit more than just a guess….”

“Oh, you silly filly! There’s no need to be so worked up that you don’t even know that you’re nervous or not! I mean, there may be hundreds of ponies eyeing you and examining every detail and-“

“Umm, Pinkie?” Si Fron cut her off politely.

“Yes?”

“Has anyone ever told you that, well, maybe it makes things worse to describe the stuff that, well, does make someone- err, somepony nervous?”

The hyperactive pink mare stared at him for a moment before a blush ran across her face.

“Oops! Sorry," She said as she rubbed the back of her head. "Well, anyway, don’t sweat it! The other ponies are just here to see the clothes! I’m sure you’ll do fine because, really, how could anypony mess up wearing clothes?”

In typical cliche fashion, one of the models ran from the stage through the room with her outfit inexplicably in shambles and tears coming down her face. While the door was open, the sound of booing followed her in and decided to settle down in the minds and fears of the impressionable models. Si Fron, getting the message full well, had to sit down in order to not pass out for the third time that day. StormCaller, having observed all of this, walked over to the comedy gold in pony form.

“Hey Pinkie?”

“Yeah StormCaller?”

“Has anypony every told you not to tempt fate?”

“Hmmmm,” She put her hoof to her chin in thought and then shook her head. “Nope!”

“Well, I haven’t either, but from what I’ve seen, it is generally considered a bad thing.”

“Oh,” She said with surprise. “Okie Dokie Loki! No more tempting fate. Got it!”

Stormcaller glanced over to Si Fron, who was now trying to cower behind a chair like Fluttershy would cower from a loud noise. “It might be a little late for that…”

Pinkie glanced over to Si Fron’s spot and grinned with embarrassment. “Oopsies.”

Knowing that the show must go on, the Pinkieish pegasus trotted over to where to Si Fron was shivering.

“Hey buddy!”

The white earth pony nearly jumped clean out of his outfit in fright before recognizing Stormcaller.

“Oh it’s just you!” Si Fron sighed in relief.

“Well, duh, who else would it be? Anyway, now that you have been scared, are you ready to go out there and look good for a bunch of complete and total strangers?”

The shy earth pony blinked before staring at the floor and saying “Uum,” in a simple manner, drawing it out as long as possible in hopes of buying enough time to figure out something to say. Not satisfied with this response, Stormcaller decided to step things up a bit as the assistant pony called out for Si Fron before closing it again.

“Come on, you’re up! You can do it! It’ll be fun!”

The effort, unfortunately, was in vain as Si Fron’s anxieties got the better of him.

“But what if I mess up? What if I don’t show it off just right, or what if I trip and knock something over, or if I pop a seam somehow , or-“

Unexpectedly, the hyperactive blue pegasus grabbed Si Fron, stood him up, and pulled out a pair of Kamina class shades in one go. In the same fluid motion, he gestured towards Pinkie Pie in an odd fashion that somehow translated to her as ‘Bring out the party cannon’, which she did. How he had known about it was anyone’s guess since season two had yet to premiere when the two humans had ended up in Equestria, but that was a moot point as he began his hammy speech.

“Just who the hay do you think you are?!”

“What the-“ murmured the white pony, flabbergasted at the sudden increase in drama that accompanied the bizarre actions.

Stormcaller raised a hoof to the ceiling. “If you’re going to dig, dig to the heavens! When you break through, it means you've won!”

“SINCE WHEN DID YOU WATCH TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN!?!?!?!”

“THE POINT IS,” he proclaimed loudly, completely ignoring the question. “Don’t believe in yourself or the me who believes in you, but the you who believes in yourself!”

The pony who had been calling out names stuck her head in again and called out Si Fron’s name rather impatiently this time.

“NOW,” Stormcaller bellowed, picking Si Fron up by his shirt. “SHOW THEM WHAT YOU’RE MADE OF!!!!!”

With a mighty heave, the white earth pony was shoved into the party cannon and promptly fired out of it, sailing through the door and towards the main stage at improbable speeds. As he flew through the air holding on to his outfit’s hat, he heard the fashion announcer doing what she did best.

“… and that was Photo Finish’s ‘Red Hot Action Fashion’ as part of her innovations line. Next up we have a design from an up and coming unicorn, Rarity, with her innovative design that has supposedly been modified to not only be practical for Earth ponies, but also stylish! And to top it off, it is an outfit with that rare fashion statement, pants! Let’s see how the live model demonstrates this new design on such an infamously difficult to handle article of fashion!”

On cue, Si Fron soared violently threw the curtain, somehow undoing the entire outfit as he flew through the drapes. During his brief moment of nudity, everything slowed. He could see where everything was going to land, he could see the flashing of cameras, and he could see all of the ponies in the audience gaping at him. His embarrassment shot through the roof and he knew that if he didn’t act fast, he would forever have ruined his reputation in Equestria and he would have to leave in shame and dishonor.

Adrenaline and instincts he didn’t even know he had kicked in as he tucked and curled upon landing. He leapt from his roll into the button up shirt, swiftly doing a few of the buttons as his mobster-styled white hat plopped onto his head. Snatching the rose and shoving it in the breast pocket, just one last thing remained: The pants. He made one last jump and he spun in mid–air. His legs smoothly glided into the leggings and the subtle string that was attached to the zipper floated into Si Fron’s mouth. With a fluid movement, he spun the string around the subtle knobs sticking out of the pants and pulled, zipping the black pants up with a good, strong tug as he nailed the landing. He held the final pose with the string in his mouth.

All of the ponies in the audience were breathless at the intense display of the practical ease that the clothes had been undone and put on with. For a few moments, nopony even dared to move until Pinkie Pie and Stormcaller, who had managed to catch up with him in time to see his improbable feats, started cheering loudly, prompting a roar in return from the crowd by those who had the good fortune of retaining their consciousness. The two hyperactive ponies ran up to him on stage in their fancy outfits and started congratulating him.

“WOW! THAT WAS SUPERDUPERAMIZINGSPECTACULAR!” yelled Pinkie as she bounced to the white pony in her frilly pink dress that was reminiscent of a certain royal member of the Mushroom Kingdom.

“How did you come up with that awesome action sequence!?" Stormcaller praised in his own fancy vest. "That was almost more brilliant than all of the Pinkie Pie episodes put together!”

“ Ummm…” Said Si Fron, starting to get a little dizzy from the adrenaline withdrawal. “Necessity?”

They all had a friendly laugh at this, not noticing the feedback from the microphone as the announcer passed out from the most exciting event in fashion history since Celestia and Luna both wore the same dress to the Grand Galloping Gala 1027 years ago.

---

Later that night, after the modeling session had ended, Rarity had graciously allowed the two stallions to stay the night in the hotel room so long as they stayed in the living room part of it. Too exhausted to argue or reject the notion, Si Fron flopped down on the floor next to the couch. After shifting his position a little to be a bit more comfortable, he soon fell asleep, emotionally exhausted from the recent series of events.

As he slept, though, instead of the usual comforting dreams of bizarre surealty he loved to embrace, he was rudely thrown into an odd scenario that felt all too real.

He tossed and turned in his sleep, plaugued by restless nightmares. The nightmares grew so fierce that he shot up, panting wildly. After a moment, he sighed and relaxed a bit.

"Heh, man, I didn't realize that robots could be so terrifying when they gang up on you like that."

He then frowned. There was something else to the dream, he thought. Something about... He couldn't remember. His dreams were so bizarre anyway, not even Discord could make sense or nonsense of them. He paused, though, and looked up at the sky. It was so surreal. He hadn't even been in Equestria for a full day and already he ran into the Elements and was doing wacky things. He laughed to himself as he laid back down.

As he tried to go back to sleep, his mind wandered and raced as his fanboyish excitement caught up to him. Here he was in Equstria. No, he was in an entirely different universe! He had a relatively clean slate and endless new possibilities for adventure and excitement that he couldn't have had in his old world.

He frowned as he came across that thought. That wasn't necessarily true, he admitted, but he didn't really have an opportunity to adventure or do interesting things. Not since he had to help out his family with his brother. He winced again as memories taunted him with dozens of reasons on why that was such a flimsy excuse.

He shook the mixed feelings and thoughts from his head and looked towards a window. Even now, he could see the pegasi flying in the sky at night, busily going from place to place and living their own lives. It somehow helped him remember the excitement and wonder that he could experience at any moment in this world, even though its edge had been tempered. Soon, his eyes drooped wearily and as he went back to sleep he mumbled to himself.

"I wonder what else Equestria has in store..."

Author's note:
Fun Fact #1, this thing was started ages ago, well before I knew of Fimfiction's existence.

Fun Fact #2, I have been working on it sporadically since then, meaning the writing style will change as early as the first real chapter.

Fun Fact #3, this chapter also has been edited. Several times. Hopefully for the better.

Comments

[Jack Frankenstien]

Well, as everyone can obviously see now, this story has gotten some strong negative reception. I wish I knew why, but so far, no one has bothered to comment on this story's failings. So, without knowing anything about what was wrong, I have gone and edited the first (Previously titled the prologue) chapter in hopes of improving it. If you find this and are still dissatisfied with it, please give me a comment so I can try to remedy whatever follies I have committed besides the fact that the story is Human in Equestria.

[DaZergRock54444]

After having read the first chapter, the only significant complaints I can come up with are:
1. The action seems a bit abrupt; i.e. we go from Situation A to Situation B with only a little transition between the two.
2. The narration feels rather sarcastic. While appropriate for some writings, it feels that your narrator has just a bit too much of the sarcasm going.

These two issues were not enough to warrant a downvote in my opinion, and unless you are absurdly unlucky, even an HiE fic shouldn't garner as much ire from the voting audience as it has, but the total of twelve votes either way out of the sixty odd views you have received is more of an indicator of "meh" than "HATE".