• Published 15th Oct 2012
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The Masterpiece - McPoodle



Twilight must step in to prevent Pinkie Pie's mental disintegration

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Chapter 1: First Nightmare

The Masterpiece

Chapter 1: First Nightmare


It was the most-ambitious party of all time.

It was set in a great cavernous hall, four stories high and big enough to fit ten Sugarcube Corners comfortably inside. Balloons, streamers and banners festooned its walls to the very top. Roving spotlights tried to keep the eye of the guest moving. There were all-you-can-eat buffets representing the traditional cuisines of Canterlot, Cloudsdale, Appleoosa, Fillydelphia, the Griffon Aerie, the Fifteenth Century and the Zebrican Alliance. DJ Pon-3 hosted a rave in one corner, and Octavia’s Ensemble played a graceful string quartet in another—the room was so big that you could get away with that. There were party hats and kazoos for all, pin the tail on the pony games and spin the bottle. There were areas set aside for dancing, areas for polite conversation and areas for telling uproarious jokes, tables to eat your food in polite company, and areas for dozing for when the excitement was just too much.

It was the most-ambitious party of all time. And it was a complete and utter failure.

You could hear the Maretoven at the same time as the Mouze, and each sound made the other sickening. The food was six hundred and seventeen varieties of baked bad, each more retch-inducing than the last. The acoustics of the room, created by the specific combination of balloons, streamers and banners, caused every pony’s voice to grate upon the other, and every statement to come out sounding like you were being insulted. The air was fetid and uncomfortable, or dank and chilly, depending on which spot you stood in and for how low.

A filly-sized Pinkie Pie, totally oblivious of how her party was faring, gleefully climbed up onto a table so she could be seen and heard. Unnoticed by her, a gray shadow began to grow behind her.

“So,” she said, “what do you think?”

The partygoers expressed their opinion by hurling their food at her.

“You spoiled my apples!” cried out Applejack, before turning and bucking a rotten applecore at Pinkie’s head. “I never want to speak to you again!”

“You’ve brought shame upon the good name of Ponyville!” yelled Rarity, using her telekinesis to upend a bowl of rancid punch over her head. “These hats are atrocious and the strings cut off our circulation!”

“Leave and never return!” proclaimed the united voices of Mr. and Mrs. Cake.

“But...I did it all for you!” protested Pinkie Pie. Cracks began to appear in her coat.

“You did it all for yourself!” snarled Twilight Sparkle, stepping forward. “You try to buy our love with parties. But it’s not going to work anymore. We’ve caught on to your tricks.”

“But I thought you were my friends...” Pinkie Pie whispered. Her hair flattened as the gray shadow embraced her, and chunks of her pink fur flaked off to reveal magenta underneath.

Rainbow Dash flew up into her face. “You don’t deserve our friendship. We found out the truth: you’re not even Pinkie Pie!”

“You’re right,” the mare proclaimed in a low voice, as her pupils constricted into reptilian slits. “Pinkie Pie is a lie.” She flexed her muscles, and the remaining pink flew off of her with a flash of light. When it had faded, she was revealed as a full-size alicorn.

On seeing her, the ponies all cried out in dismay. Married couples turned against each other, and foals tried to gnaw on their parents, only to be swatted down in anger. Applejack and Rainbow Dash rushed at each other, flailing furiously with their hooves, and Rarity and Twilight launched into a magical duel that would almost certainly end with Rarity in a hospital.

“I AM NIGHTMARE PINK!” the newborn alicorn proclaimed. “AND THE PAIN YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEARTS WILL LAST...FOREVER!!!”

The shadow approved.


Unnoticed by the rest of the furious crowd, a sad midnight blue unicorn snuck out of the party and turned back into the Princess of the Night.

“Wake up, tortured soul,” she said as a burst of magic replaced the party pavilion with a plain of white. Princess Luna gave a regretful look behind her before flying into the night sky, and out of Pinkie Pie’s mind.

The sound of the pink mare’s wrenching sobs stayed with her for hours.