Sunshine and Rainshine

by SteamFluttershy

Chapter 2 (Sunshine)

It was a quiet and sunny day in Ponyville, and all the ponies were bustling about their business. In a certain tree house in the middle of Ponyville, there was a certain unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle, busy studying in her books.

She’d been working all night again. Her eyes were bloodshot of a lack of sleep, her main was all messed up, and she was barely awake.

Trying to keep herself up she had her No. 1 assistant, a young dragon by the name of Spike shake her awake every now and then. It was getting less effective every time, but he still managed to keep her awake for a good 2 hours.

“Twilight, maybe you should just go and get some sleep now. You’re going to be overworking yourself again!” Spike said.

“No. I can’t go to sleep now! I’ll fall behind on my schedule for this month, and I’ll never get back on it unless I work through every night for a week!” She yelled.

“Ok, ok. Sorry, it’s just that when you stay up so late for your studies you’ll end up like Applejack who didn’t want to sleep either just to finish bucking apples. You wouldn’t want to end up like that, would you?” Spike reasoned.

*sigh* “I guess you’re right Spike. I do not want to end up like Applejack did. I guess I’ll go to bed after I finish this book.” She admitted.

“Good. See Twilight, it’s not all that bad to skip a few things for the sake of your health.” He said.

It still took a good hour before she even finished the book, and Spike could finally get her into bed.

“There, now don’t come out until you’ve had at least 8 hours straight worth of sleep! Okay?” Spike said.

“Alright, I get it. Leave me alone now please.” Twilight yawned.

Spike was about to close the door when.

*BURP*

Spike burped flames and they formed a letter.

Twilight immediately realized it was a letter from princess Celestia, and jumped up out of bed.

*sigh* “So much for trying to get her to sleep.” Spike sighed.

Twilight quickly grabbed the letter with her magic and started thoroughly reading it.

My faithful student,

It has come to my attention, by the Cloudsdale weather pegasi, that the self-sustaining weather in the Everfree forest has been going out of its bounds, and has been causing problems in the regular weather patterns so the weather pegasi have to work extra hard to keep it at bay and keep our weather normal.
My sister and I have been asked to see if we could come up with a solution, and we think we have. So we ask if you and the other bearers of the elements are able to come to Canterlot and see us as soon as possible.
Once we see the spell works we’ll teach you how to cast it, so you can keep a protective weather border around the forest to keep the weather from interfering with ours.
There are 6 train tickets included with this message for you and your friends. We’d like to see you as soon as possible.

Princess Celestia.

Twilight looked up, her eyes still bloodshot, and sighed, “So much for getting some sleep.”

She magically pulled out 6 train tickets for her and her friends for the train to Canterlot. First class of course, like the princess always does.

She trotted downstairs, ready to go, and called to Spike, “Spike! The princess wants me to go to Canterlot for a weather problem. You have to stay here. I’m going now!”

“Alright Twilight! I got it! Try to get some sleep on the train maybe. It’ll do you good!” Spike said.

“Okay, I’ll try!” She said walking out the door.

After finally finding all her friends, of which Rainbow Dash was the most difficult to find, they set off for the train station, and waited for the train.

“Now what does the princess need us for anyhow? I’m thinkin’ it’s probably one of them problems that need them elements again?” Applejack asked.

“No. Actually it's a weather problem” Twilight explained the entire letter to everypony about why the princess wanted to see them.

“Now I just don’t understand why she’d be needin’ us for that. I don’t even have nothin’ to do with the weather.” Applejack stated.

The train arrived at the station, and the ponies climbed into their own private first class carriage, and took their seats.

As soon as they were seated the conductor shouted, “All aboard for Canterlot!”

He blew his whistle and the train’s whistle blew long and loud, and started to leave for Canterlot

“No. You don’t directly have.” Twilight continued. “But if these disturbances keep up I think you’ll be getting problems with your harvest.”

“Hmmm.” Applejack hummed. “Gosh darn it! You’re right Twilight. I reckon she needs to see what effects it may have on ponies with farms near the forest. I wasn’t thinkin’ of that.”

“Okay everypony, it’s going to be a long ride, so I’m going to try and get some sleep. I’ve been studying all night again.” Twilight called out.

“Oh, again?!” Pinkie Pie called. “You need to stop studying so much and start partying more! I’ll make sure you’re invited more often to my parties!”

“Pinkie, you already invite me to all your parties.” Twilight bluntly said.

“Oh. That just means I need to throw more parties for you to be at!” Pinkie said, even happier now.

“Ugh.” Twilight moaned. “I’m going to bed. See you later!” She said, climbing into her bunk.

“Have a good sleep Twilight!” Pinkie yelled.

“Have a good rest dear!” Rarity said.

“Yeah, you really need to nap more like me.” Rainbow implied.

“Good. Go and get some shuteye Twi!” Applejack said.

“Um… S-sleep well.” Fluttershy softly said.

And with that, Twilight was out like a light.

The train arrived in Canterlot, and with that, Twilight was on like a light again. Though she hadn’t slept 8 hours, the 4 hour train ride sliced that time in half.

The 6 ponies got off the train and started heading towards the castle.

The 6 ponies arrived at the entrance of the throne room, where two guards where guarding the door.

Twilight said, “We’re here because the princess called for us for matters that need to be attended.”

The guard nodded and went inside.

“Princess, the ponies you requested are here.” He said.

“Thank you.” The princess said. “Please let them in.”

The guard bowed and returned.

“The princess will see you now” He told them, and let them in."

The 6 ponies entered and bowed before the princesses.

“No need to bow for us, you know us well enough” Celestia said.

And with that they all rose again.

“I assume you all know why you’re here?” Princess Luna asked.

They all nodded. “We’re here about an Everfree weather problem.” Twilight said.

“Indeed you are” Celestia confirmed. “And you’re going to test it out Twilight, and see if it works. If it does our problem is solved. If not, we’ll just have to find a different way.”

Both Celestia and Luna whispered something to Twilight who nodded in understanding.

Twilight charged up her horn, and concentrated on the spell, while the 5 other ponies and 2 princesses watched.

At first all seemed well, but then…

Twilight’s eyes began to glow and the magic was roaring stronger, wilder. Wilder than it was supposed to. It was soon that Twilight realized that she didn’t have control anymore. She was too tired to regain and hold control, and soon, the spell acted on its own. It couldn’t be stopped anymore.

The ponies and princesses backed off as it started getting brighter, and brighter. Soon, rain could be heard, heavy rain. It was so bright nopony could see a thing.

Finally after a minute or two, it started to die down. The magic faded together with the light and rainy noise.

But before anypony could open their eyes and realize what had happened. They heard a bell and somepony yell, “LOOK OUT!”

Comments

[Chaotic Discord]

This intrigues me. Have a mustache and a favorite.

[makey101]

Hmmmm... From one author to another, Your story lacks the cohesion from the outset. It could be that your two 200 word chapters threw me off, but there is no real drama.

I realize that is a painful thin to hear from a comment, but I feel that if you can learn to give your story some events from the get go, you will get a lot of views.

I am going to put in my "Read Later" tab to see how this develops.

Keep going and don't be afraid to take an idea you had while making this story and use it in a different story. Every fic scratches a different spot.

[Grisaille987]

The first chapters are two short, and the sentences are kinda bland. Really could use some work.

[SosukeRyou]

A boy named Brendan, at the age of 16 gets teleported to Equestria = instant dislike

[KarlGaks]

Quite interesting. Have a favorite and a like. I enjoy the direction this seems to be going and can't hardly wait for more.

[Colbalt White]

This…intrigs me liked and faved

[Awsomo 40]

It may be HiE, but at least the protagonist ain't some whiny emo bitch, right?
Like/faved. Let's see where this goes.

[SteamFluttershy]

1425996

I figured I'd hear this. Not that I'm disappointed about it, the first 2 chapters may have thrown you off, but you won't have to worry about the word count at all anymore

I'm trying my best. Being the very uncreative person that I am, (It's a small mental illness, don't ask.) I always had bad grades in school for anything creative I had to do. Thus, I'm drastically trying to improve it. However, if it seems that it's not working after I finish this story, this will most likely be the only story I'll ever write. BUT! I WILL finish this story, whether people like it or not. I started it, and I will finish it!

The more constructive comments I get, the better. (And good examples are always helpful!)

[WrapperCat]

1427939

Being the very uncreative person that I am

This is a really interesting story. You are doing a great job so far, don't beat yourself down like that. Your story does need some work and tweaking, but it's a lot better then my first attempt at creative writing.

My suggestion is to try to keep the chapters long enough that its easy to follow the story, and try to keep people interested by regularly presenting some kind of drama (but not all the time).

[makey101]

1427939

I noticed your slice o life tag on the story as well. As a self proclaimed conisseuir, I should warn you not to put all of the events in a short amount of time.

In fact I was just reading a story where In 3 chapters, the character got over any thoughts of bestiality, had rainbowdash fall in love with him, and discovered he was equestrias hero...

And he claimed to be a slice of life lol. I'm not sayin that this should be the focus of your story (no matter how much I want it to be), but I would advise you to place emphasis on key events. I do it by making a revelation on it's own line, then describe assorted emotions and thoughts or reactions as needed.

The only reason I am telling you this is because I don't want you to fall into that pit. Don't compromise your story by making 29 things happen at once.

Your story has potential. Let me be the first to tell you that potential in a story makes the reader imagine more to the story than there is.

But I digress

[SteamFluttershy]

1428470

Oh don't worry about that, I've got lots of in dept chapters planned out in my head with climaxes and such. From now on the chapters will be longer. The reason the first few were shorter was 'cause it was mostly the background going into the real thing. I've just got to put the plannings down black on white.

You may not notice the climaxes and maybe the "Slice of Life" until I'm around chapter 5-6 or so. I've got to get all the basics out of the way first... with a little climax here and there.

[SteamFluttershy]

Chapter 3 will be up in a few minutes.

And you'll get the first "very few" tastes of my dry humor.