Sun Redacted

by daOtterGuy

Just as Advertised

Author's Note:

Content Warnings
Body Horror

Life sucked. You were born, everything was terrible, then you died. I hadn’t been asked to be born or to be dealt this terrible hand, but here I was. Miserable and alone. I hated this place. I hated my work. I hated everything.

It was a deep-seated resentment. A disgust that went beyond the norm. Hate didn’t even feel like the right word most of the time, but it was the only one I had to describe it.

My world was trash. I used to live a better life in a big city with real people. People who got me. Then the layoffs happened, and I had to move out to this hick town in the middle of nowhere. But it was temporary. Work this meaningless job, apply to a new one in the city, then move back. Take my life back day by agonizing day.

Then the bombs happened.

Most of the world carpet-bombed into nothing in just a few weeks. All the major hubs were completely destroyed. All that remained were the isolated small towns that no one had cared about.

None of this was fair. I was supposed to move back to the city, to be around real people again. Not these losers that constantly try to ‘engage’ with me.

We’re so sorry this happened to you! Buck up champ, at least you still got us! If you ever need to talk, just let us know! Trash. All a bunch of fakes just trying to talk to me so they can use me as their pity standard. Make themselves look so much better next to the guy who lost everything. But I won’t be a mockery! I won’t!

I was better. I knew it. They should know it. And soon I’d be somewhere that would recognize it. Not this dead world. Not this place with nowhere for me to go. Somewhere I could start over and be happy again. Somewhere simpler that was nothing like what we had here. A brand new start.

“Welcome to Equestria!” the small pony said. “A place where all your dreams can come true!”

I smiled at the small cartoony pastel coloured ponies while huddled within my blankets. Most of the internet was gone, but some private websites still worked. Like this one.

“Here in Equestria, we ponies all live happy lives playing together and making new friends!”

The ponies started to gallop through scenic towns past other ponies, all having fun and enjoying each other’s company. I giggled at their antics. It was the kind of connection I craved, not this fake stuff from the local garbage.

“In Equestria, everyone loves each other and plays everyday!”

I needed that. Something to fill the awful void inside me where all my regret and resentment gnawed away at my insides. I needed an out, someplace new to start over without all the crushing despair of this stupid town. Someplace that didn’t have reminders of what I once had standing tall as burnt out husks on the horizon.

This video gave me a solution.

“Do you feel lonely?” Yes. “Like the world doesn’t love you?” Yes! “Then come to Equestria!” Yes, yes! “All you need to do is go to the end of the rainbow, then jump through the portal!”

An answer, a new start. Everything I wanted.

“We look forward to meeting you!”

The advertisement was over. A black screen greeted me. I got out of my swaddle of blankets, out of my old home and into the torrential downpour outside.

Water drenched me, soaking me to the core, but I knew it would only last a short while. It was due to be bright and sunny soon. A chance.

I was ready to be happy.

Getting into my junker car, I cranked the ignition. It sputtered to life. I careened out of my driveway and onto the road, heading toward the open fields on the edge of town.

Rain battered the window as I drove past tall fields of wheat. After only a few minutes, the rain dissipated into sunshine.

A rainbow formed.

Hammering the gas pedal, I drove toward the end of it. Dead sentinels of cities stood stark in the sun, reminding me of why I was doing this. I’d lost everything I cared about in this world. It was time to escape to a better one.

The road ended at an open field. I got out and ran for it.

As I got closer, my goal made itself known: the portals. They were just like the advertisement said, sitting at the end of the rainbow. Bright intangible ovals leading to other Dimensions. There were a couple dozen of them, but, after pursuing forum posts from experts, I knew that only at most a handful would lead to Equestria.

The rabble began to appear, all gunning for the portals to leave this awful place. Most of them didn’t have the information I had, or were going for different destinations.

I surveyed the rifts looking for the telltale signs that would let me know it was the right one. Purple and yellow.

None of them matched. Panic began to set in.

What if there wasn’t a portal to Equestria here? What if I didn’t reach it in time? Portals were a one passenger deal. If I didn’t get to it before others, I was stuck waiting for however long until the next rainbow appeared.

A figure in the distance. Indistinct and difficult to make out besides gangly limbs and a wide toothy smile. Whoever they were pointed in a direction.

I followed his arm to a portal. Purple and yellow. My target.

Mustering speed, I ran harder toward my exit. Past the gangly-limbed person who said something to me that I didn’t quite catch. It didn’t matter. I was focused. I was driven. I was going to be the one to go to Equestria.

There were three other people racing toward the portal I was heading toward.

An athletic looking guy who ran fast, but was far enough back that I would beat him as long as I didn’t slow down. Another guy who was heaving air as he ran that was close enough to be a potential threat. Finally, a little girl who’d just pulled up next to me, an excited grin on her face.

With no hesitation, I rammed into her, causing her to tumble to the ground. She screamed and rolled, impacting against the earth with a sickening crack.

She might have been hurt.

She shouldn’t have gone after my portal, then.

I reached the portal at the same time as the heavy-breathing guy. I’d misjudged the athletic one, who was rapidly gaining on both of us. I needed to get rid of this guy quickly.

Grabbing the back of his shirt collar, I threw the other man to the ground then reached for the portal. He latched onto my legs, tears and snot running down my jeans.

“Please, no!” the loser pleaded. “I need this! I—”

“It’s mine!” I kicked him in the face. “I won’t stay in this stupid world anymore!” I kicked him again. There was a crunch. Blood spurted from his nose. “I deserve it!”

The word came to me then. What I’d been trying to describe my feelings toward this place as.

Loathing.

Disgust and animosity toward a place that did nothing but kick me down and leave me in the dregs bitter and alone. I wouldn’t succumb to its machinations. I refused. I was getting a fresh start. I was going to fill that void of loathing with something better. Happiness.

No one was going to stop me.

One final kick. Snap. The man went limp. My legs were free, just in time as the runner was getting close. Well, too bad for him. I’d already stepped through the portal.

---

Colours flew past. A painful kaleidoscope of overstimulation that fried my eye sockets. There was a noise in the background, like waves crashing against rocks. I felt my body break, reshaping itself.

I had thought that I might be transformed into a pony on the other side, even if I would have preferred to keep my thumbs, but hadn’t expected how painful this would be. It was fine, though. I would only have to feel this once, and then I could attain the happiness I desperately sought. A price worth paying.

Reality swam into focus, splotches of colours beginning to take on distinct shapes. I stumbled forward, unsteady on my new limbs.

It was a town. Some small back village in the woods. It looked much more medieval than I was expecting. Less… cartoonish or colourful, but that was fine. I could live with that.

Something more unexpected was the mare standing before him. She was… not quite up to expectations. Her fur coat was definitely bright, a fuschia, but more muted than the advert. She had all the basic parts of what was shown in the video, but she had harder edges, less rounded. She also had a horn, which was… weird. I didn’t understand the point of that in a place that was all about friendship.

Honestly, I was just disappointed with how horse she was. Her proportions were similar to an actual pony, with all the requisite parts plus some eccentric accents and human-like facial expressions.

I should have expected the show to be more abstract, but… no, it didn’t matter. I was here for a new start. It was time to put my best foot— hoof forward.

“Hi, there, I’m—” I greeted and was surprised by how guttural I sounded.

She screamed and ran away.

I didn’t understand. Why did she do that? I was a pony like her. Wasn’t she supposed to—

Then I looked down. Where a hoof should have been was a claw. It was horrifying. This three-pronged elongated, sickly yellow monstrosity that was shriveled and covered in pockmarks that oozed some awful translucent fluid. As my sight took in the grotesque limb, I began to feel the sticky fluid as it spurt from my body. It felt absolutely terrible.

This couldn’t be— Did all of me look like this? Was I— No. No, no, no— This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was my new start, my chance at happiness. I was a freak! How was I supposed to—

The sentence the gangly man had uttered to me caught up.

“Just as advertised. One trip to Equestria.”

What did he mean by that? Was he the one that had arranged this? Did he know this would happen? What the hell did he mean by ‘Just as Advertised’? I was a monster! How was I supposed to get a new start while everyone ran screaming away from me?

A low, wet gurgling sound emanated from somewhere. I think it was from me. What had I just become? I could feel the void in me stronger than before, gnawing at me. That horrible, horrible loathing growing and growing and—

Screw this. Screw all of them! How dare they do this to me?! I deserve better! I deserve a new start! I deserve happiness!

These stupid ponies should be making friends with me. So what if I look like a monster? What’s inside matters more. I matter more.

The gnawing was getting painful, like being eaten from the inside by little insects. I needed to fill this void. I needed to bury this awful loathing. Friendship couldn’t do it. Not while I looked like this. What could fill these gaping holes?

I looked at the pockmarks. They were big. Oozing. The size was roughly the same as the mare that had run away.

Could I plug the holes? If I did… would this loathing go away? Could I be…

One limb forward, followed by another. I needed to get to town. To where the ponies gathered. Plenty of fresh faces to sate the new desire that filled me. The ponies won’t freely give me what I want. They won’t fulfill my needs.

That’s fine.

I’ll just make them.

Comments

[TCC56]

Huh. Was not expecting that.