Thanks for reading! If you liked it please let me know, it'll encourage me to make more! If there's something you'd like to see don't be afraid to suggest it here!
I like this story, it has a good start. My only "complaint" is that perhaps you should change either the intro or the description of your story, since they are practically the same, which might be a bit annoying for some. That aside, this is going in my collection.
11760540 Ditto this. Some paragraphs seem needless for the description because they're exposition for the setting.
Here's a common template:
It’s a brisk autumn evening when you decide to partake in some ‘self care’ at the local tavern. It’s relatively busy, the wind outside shaking the trees and rattling the branches that gently tippy-tap against the upstairs windows. The wind evicts leaves from their once healthy perch, casting them to the ground below in a symphony of oranges, reds, and browns. Gusts of wind create flurries of the fallen leaves, eager to pester those who dare walk the streets during the cold dusk. To many it’s a sign to keep warm inside, to others it’s an excuse to drink more.
Perhaps you have been drinking too much?
Content warnings: Anon, Intoxication, M/F, Second Person Cover art: Derpi #######
As for the author, you've been around the pony community for a fair while now; What got you to jump into writing here on FimFic?
11760835 Am I okay to use what you've written? I appreciate the feedback!
I've been writing for a while but never figured anyone would care to read. A few people have told me they like the way I write so I figured how much could it hurt?
While second person POV isn't usually my cup of tea, I will say that I think what you have published here is pretty good, and I look forward to the next chapter.
Thanks for reading! If you liked it please let me know, it'll encourage me to make more! If there's something you'd like to see don't be afraid to suggest it here!
I like this story, it has a good start.
My only "complaint" is that perhaps you should change either the intro or the description of your story, since they are practically the same, which might be a bit annoying for some. That aside, this is going in my collection.
can't tell if she's cute or hot definitely one of them
11760540
Ditto this. Some paragraphs seem needless for the description because they're exposition for the setting.
Here's a common template:
As for the author, you've been around the pony community for a fair while now; What got you to jump into writing here on FimFic?
11760835
Am I okay to use what you've written? I appreciate the feedback!
I've been writing for a while but never figured anyone would care to read. A few people have told me they like the way I write so I figured how much could it hurt?
While second person POV isn't usually my cup of tea, I will say that I think what you have published here is pretty good, and I look forward to the next chapter.
11760844
Well yeah, I didn't write it; you did, silly!
*Whistles* Dang! This is so steamy and we haven't even gotten any action yet.
Dude this making write my own clop. Thank you for the Read.
This is incredible, one of the hottest fics I've read this year