G.I. EqG

by SonicSpeedster97

Alpha Dogs

As the pilot flew the copter as far from Canterlot City as possible, the doors were closed and weapons were stowed, letting the girls all glare at their apparent saviors. “So about that explanation…” Rainbow said seriously.

“I said no promises, kid.” Chuckles pointed out. “Also, sorry in advance for this next part.”

“What next part?” Twilight asked… before Snake Eyes and the apparent commander of this team suddenly slapped all the girls in handcuffs. “Wha- Hey!” And it only got worse when Snake Eyes and Roadblock pulled black-out shades over all the windows and closed the door to the cockpit.

Spike immediately leaped from Twilight’s bag and started barking. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he asked angrily.

“Aw, that ain’t right,” Roadblock said in surprised confusion as Spike kept yelling.

“Snake Eyes?” the commander ordered simply. The ninja just nodded and looked down at Spike, making unusual hand gestures that almost looked like sign language, but made no sense… though they were enough to get Spike to calm down for some reason.

“Whoa…” he said quietly. “Okay, got it.” With that, Spike nodded and hopped back up onto the bench.

“Wait, what’d he say?” asked Applejack.

“It’s… too complicated to translate word-for-word, but simply put; he said they’re our friends,” Spike said simply.

“If it’s all the same, I’d prefer to know my friends’ names,” Sunset said simply as she glared at the commander.

“And I’d prefer to know why a bunch of high school students from an almost completely unknown city in Virginia are suddenly at the top of the most-wanted list for a terrorist organization.” the commander said simply, stunning the girls in scared confusion. “So I guess we’re even.”

“Actually Duke, I think I can answer your question,” Chuckles noted and leaned into Duke’s ear to whisper something that made him raise his eyebrow.

“Is that right?” Duke asked.

“I’ve been in deep cover on this op for three months.” Chuckles pointed out. “I think I know what I’m talking about.”

“‘Deep cover’? Have you been spying on us?!” Rarity asked in outrage.

“It’s my job.” Chuckles shrugged, producing a badge with an insignia of an eagle head and a star within a gold shield… along with a more recognizable badge next to it. “Special Agent Sergeant codename Chuckles; U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Division.”

“Well then, why are you kidnapping us? We’re not Army.” Twilight insisted.

“Yeah, that part was kinda obvious,” Roadblock remarked.

“Easy, Roadblock,” Duke ordered, glancing back at the girls. “Let’s get a couple of things straight here, kids. Number 1; until we receive orders otherwise, we ask the questions here – not you. Number 2; we’re not kidnapping anyone – for the moment, you may consider yourselves guests of the United States Military under our protection until such time as your hometown is verified safe from further incursion and secure by a Spec-Ops team and the Virginia National Guard. Number 3; while you’re in our custody, you will answer any and all questions asked of you in regard to any and all unexplained phenomena in and around Canterlot City, Virginia. Clear?”

When they heard that, the girls were more than a bit confused and alarmed; they didn’t believe they’d ever heard anything quite so serious about their magic before… but then again, they’d never been rushed by bikers and abducted by the military before either, so it balanced out. But Sunset just glared at Duke, knowing that wasn’t anywhere close to everything in this conversation but she had an idea to get it as she made it look like she was itching at her neck, subtly activating her Geode before she gave her best fake smile… which she hadn’t used since her days as the Demon Queen of CHS, so it hurt a bit. “Still didn’t catch your name,” she remarked, extending her cuffed hands.

Duke simply narrowed his eyes to her before he extended his own hand. “Legal name’s classified from civilians, same as everyone else in our outfit. Codename’s Duke.” Sunset accepted his hand and almost immediately, her mind was flooded with his memories… of battle against Zartan and an army of dark soldiers under a madman in a silver mask under a blue helmet, of his own life in the military, and of the top-secret military specialist team she and her friends were currently in the care of, designated G.I. Joe.

Sunset smiled as she pulled her hand away and sat back. “Nice to meet you, Duke,” she said. “Wish it were under better circumstances.”

“If these circumstances were any better, you and your friends here would have no idea any of us exist,” Duke assured.

“Can I ask at least one more question?” Rainbow asked, her ire growing.

“Make it quick,” Roadblock instructed.

“Where are we going?” Rainbow asked seriously… right before the copter started descending.

“Our headquarters. One of ‘em, at least,” Duke answered simply. The girls really wished the windows hadn’t been blacked out so they could see where they were going, but the muffled sounds of machinery whirring outside the copter were enough to make them suspicious… especially when the helicopter started descending after they’d heard its wheels touch the ground.

“What is this place? Who are you?” Twilight asked seriously.

“The kinda guys you don’t get to ask about,” Duke answered simply as the helicopter stopped descending.

With that in mind, Roadblock threw the copter’s side doors open and let the girls finally see where they were… which, as it turned out, was a massive underground complex with giant command buildings, military vehicles, and countless soldiers everywhere. “Welcome to the Pit,” he smirked.

“Law and Order, front and center!” Duke ordered as he hopped off the copter, prompting a man in a white Military Police helmet to walk over and stand at attention, along with the German Shepherd at his side.

“Sir!” the officer saluted.

“At ease, Law,” Duke ordered. “You and Roadblock escort our guests to the stockade until questioning.”

“Stockade? You’re throwing us in jail?!” asked Rainbow.

“All respect, Duke; I think we should have Airtight take a look at them before interrogation,” Chuckles suggested. “I don’t know what the deal is with their – this is the best way I can describe it – superpowers, but I think we both want an explanation before we find out the hard way.”

Duke glanced back at the girls and nodded. “Agreed. Snake Eyes, find Airtight and get him to the stockade on the double.” The ninja nodded and walked off to follow his orders. “Chuckles, you and I will debrief with the General. Law, Roadblock, get to it.”

“You got it, Duke.” Law nodded. “Let’s go, ladies.”

“This is outrageous. I demand legal counsel.” Rarity barked as they were led deeper into the base.

“Don’t seem like you understand how this is workin’.” Roadblock pointed out. “You’re on our turf, kid.”

“And as far as military law is concerned, you and your friends are threats to national security until the general says otherwise,” Law added.

“Threats? We’re victims! We were attacked and abducted!” Twilight argued.

“The abduction was for your own protection. The attack was courtesy of some old annoying friends of ours.” Roadblock pointed out.

“That Zartan guy… who is he?” asked Rainbow.

“Maybe you didn’t hear Duke on the chopper. We ask, you answer.” Roadblock said bluntly.

“Hmph. Roadblock’s a perfect name for you.” Rainbow whispered.

“I heard that,” he remarked brusquely.

“Uh Dash, little bit of advice; maybe don’t taunt the feller with a gun the size of a water heater.” Applejack pointed out quickly.

“Good advice.” Law agreed. “Roadblock isn’t the kinda guy you wanna tick off.” He smiled as he looked ahead, seeing Snake Eyes in front of a holding cell in the stockade. “And I know for a fact that no one who’s ever ticked you off is still around, eh Snake?”

Snake Eyes simply stood there, impossible to read with his full black face mask… but the girls were more concerned about the man standing with him, wearing a yellow and green hazmat suit with a large scanning device that resembled a Geiger counter set up next to him.

The girls were a bit intimidated by him – somehow moreso than with Snake Eyes – but they approached him anyway. “I suppose we don’t get any points for guessing why you’re called Airtight.” Rarity remarked.

“Fraid not,” he responded simply, his voice muffled by his respirator. “Law, take the cuffs off.”

“Right.” Law nodded and removed Sunset’s handcuffs first.

“Arms up at your sides, please.” Airtight requested formally as he approached her with the scanner. Sunset hesitated but did as she was instructed, holding her arms out to a T and allowing Airtight to examine her with the scanner, which ticked lightly like a Geiger counter as it passed over her watch and cell phone – which Airtight had Law remove – but it appeared to go somewhat nuts as he scanned her Geode. “Hmm… that’s odd.”

“What is it?” asked Roadblock.

“Picking up some strange energy; scanner doesn’t recognize it,” Airtight noted. “I’ll run it through backup analysis in the lab when we’re done here. Other than that, she’s clean.”

“Alright, in,” Roadblock ordered. Sunset didn’t have much choice so she walked into the holding cell as Airtight scanned all her friends one by one, finding similar readings from all their Geodes as Sunset’s… though the readings he got from Pinkie warranted further investigation… and ended with Pinkie emptying out a truly outrageous assortment of items from her hair, confusing all the present soldiers. “What in the goddamn…?”

“It’s really best if you don’t question it,” Rainbow assured Roadblock. “We’ve all tried and it just gave us headaches. Just chalk that up as ‘she’s Pinkie Pie’ and leave it at that.”

Roadblock glanced at Airtight, who simply shrugged as if accepting that excuse. “All right, that’s fine by me.” Airtight shrugged.

“Great. So can I put all my stuff back?” Pinkie asked jovially.

“I’m sure as hell not cleaning it up.” Law shrugged.

“Fine; go ahead.” Roadblock shrugged.

It took about five minutes for Pinkie to get everything back in her hair – in ways that were clearly already giving Roadblock a headache – but soon enough, the whole group was in the holding cell which Law locked down. “So what now?” asked Rainbow.

“Now you shut up and start answering our questions,” Roadblock said firmly.

“Actually, I have a few questions of my own first.” Sunset insisted.

“How many times do we have to say this?” Roadblock asked in annoyance. “We ask the questions, you answer them. That clear?”

Sunset just smirked almost cruelly – an expression that almost hurt so long after the Fall Formal, but one she felt had to be used here. “RA 213-75-7793,” she said simply.

Everyone looked at her when she said that, but the soldiers’ looks were more out of surprised worry than her friends’ looks of confusion. “How the hell do you know that number?” Roadblock asked.

“Don’t you think Duke would want to hear the answer to that too? Bring him down here, then we’ll talk.” Sunset smirked.

Angrily, Roadblock walked off. “Law, Snake, keep an eye on them,” he said firmly as he and Airtight walked away.

Sunset smirked; she’d almost forgotten how much she enjoyed messing with people like this, and while she hoped she wouldn’t have to continue it for long, this was more than enough to get her and her friends the answers they wanted.

---

In a large office across the Pit, Chuckles was debriefing Duke as well as a redheaded woman in a blue and yellow combat uniform, a dark-haired man in a beret, and a man in a general’s jacket on what he’d seen.

“General Hawk, I haven’t lied to you once since I was assigned to this post.” Chuckles insisted. “Why would I start now?”

“I don’t doubt your honesty, Chuckles.” the general assured. “But superpowers? This isn’t a comic book, son.”

“General, with all due respect, you seem to be forgetting the advanced weaponry we’ve recovered from Cobra.” the redhead pointed out. “Breaker and Mainframe barely understand how half the stuff works, and they’ve explicitly called it ‘comic book stuff’ on more than one occasion.”

“Be that as it may, Scarlett, laser weapons and jetpacks are on a whole different level from what Chuckles is describing.” Hawk pointed out. “I mean, summoning diamonds out of thin air? Superspeed?”

“General, we all know that there are some things in war that cannot be explained as simply as that.” Chuckles pointed out. “Flint, back me up here; you know some of the stuff we’ve seen out there barely makes any sense.”

“I admit it, we have seen some – quite bluntly – supernatural things.” the man with the beret admitted. “The Crimson Twins leap to mind first, but even so…” That was when someone knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Hawk responded simply.

The door opened and Roadblock walked swiftly in. “General, Duke, we got a problem with the prisoners.”

“Guests, Roadblock; let’s be clear about that.” Duke pointed out.

“And either way, they’re just civilian teenagers,” Scarlett added. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Well for starters, the redhead knows Duke’s serial number down to the dashes,” Roadblock said simply, alarming everyone there.

“How the hell does she know that?” Duke asked.

“Said she’d only say if you were there,” Roadblock answered.

“I think this calls for a full response.” Scarlett pointed out, addressing everyone in the room.

“Agreed.” Hawk nodded, swiftly standing up. “You don’t just find out a Joe’s SN without expecting some questions. We’ll finish the debrief later, Chuckles. Let’s move.” With that in mind, the room cleared out as everyone moved to the stockade, where they saw the girls waiting… a cocky smirk on Sunset’s face.

“Well, you wanted an audience, Sunset,” Rainbow remarked.

“Guess I did.” Sunset smiled as he looked at the newcomers.

“Start talking. How do you know my serial number?” Duke asked in annoyance.

“That’s what that was?” Twilight asked, surprised.

“Answer the question,” Duke insisted firmly.

“I read your mind on the chopper,” Sunset said simply.

That was enough to make the soldiers nervous. “Get Psyche-Out down here,” Scarlett ordered quickly, prompting Law to move toward the exit.

Quickly realizing they had the advantage, Rarity subtly touched her Geode and conjured a wall of diamonds in front of the door, stopping Law from leaving. “First I suggest you answer some of our questions.” she insisted.

“Guessing now would be a bad time to say ‘I told you so’, right sir?” Chuckles asked the general cautiously.

“One more word, Chuckles, and you’re on latrine duty,” Flint said firmly.

Hawk meanwhile simply looked into the cell and glared at the girls. “Who are you?” he asked critically.

“You first.” Rainbow rebuked. “And while we’re at it, can we get out of this cell? Smells like someone died in here.”

Hawk narrowed his eyes as he looked into the cell, focusing on Sunset. “Am I right in assuming you’re not going to tell what you know if we don’t cooperate?”

“Good guess.” Sunset nodded.

Hawk stepped back. “Open the cell, Law.” The MP looked a bit surprised at that, but the look he got from the general was more than enough to get it across. “That’s an order.”

“Yes sir.” Law relented as he walked back over and opened the cell, letting the girls out.

“And it’s about time too.” Rarity noted as she and the girls all walked out while she dispelled the diamonds from the door of the stockade. “Now, I believe this is the part where you start talking.”

“S’pose you’ve earned that much.” Hawk shrugged as he and his soldiers led the girls out of the stockade, letting them get a better look at the Pit. “Officially, everything you’re seeing here doesn’t exist.”

“And unofficially?” Twilight asked.

“Unofficially… we’re a highly trained Special Ops task force comprised of the best men and women the six branches of the United States Military have to offer,” Scarlett answered simply. “We are the first and last line of defense against any forces around the world who would attempt to plunge the world into chaos. Whenever there’s trouble, we’re there. When all else fails… we don’t.”

“National Alpha Dogs, Real American Heroes; whatever you wanna call us works, but we prefer the real name of the crew: G.I. Joe,” Roadblock added.

“So you guys are like, the biggest guns in some crazy war on terror?” Rainbow asked, clearly geeking out.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Flint nodded.

“Please tell me you guys are taking applications!” Rainbow begged quickly.

“Really, Rainbow Dash! Do you want to be in the middle of what just happened in Canterlot all the time?” Rarity asked, clearly ashamed of her friend’s decorum.

“Hey, we’ve got magic superpowers. I think we can handle it.” Rainbow pointed out.

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, kid. But it’s against two of the team’s biggest rules.” Hawk pointed out. “One; if you’re not US Military, any hope you may have of joining up is a pipe dream.”

“And two?” Applejack asked.

“You don’t ask to be part of G.I. Joe. You get asked.” Hawk said firmly.

“Well, I’d call this a pretty good invitation.” Sunset pointed out. “I mean, if Cobra is after us…”

“You already know about Cobra?” Scarlett asked in surprise.

“Exactly how much did you get when you read my mind?” Duke asked.

“Enough,” Sunset said vaguely.

“Who’s Cobra?” asked Pinkie.

“A terrorist cult bent on world domination,” Flint said simply as he adjusted his beret. “They’re the guys who paid Zartan and his Dreadnoks to go after you. Only question now is why.”

“And this is the part where you girls start giving us that answer. As the old saying goes, knowing is half the battle.” Hawk added.

Sunset looked around at her friends, all of whom nodded in agreement as she looked back at the general. “Here’s another old saying;” she said simply. “Do you believe in magic?”

Comments

[Comickook]

Well, now, this was a rather enjoyable chapter properly introducing the girls and Spike to G.I. Joe. Again, really liked the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Particularly liked Sunset "revealing that whole serial number" deal as well as a couple of the Joes pointing out that they saw things from the girls like super-speed and gem construct creation. Hopefully, the girls will get a chance to show the Joes that they are pretty well equipped to help them against Cobra if they have sufficient additional information.

Anyway, definitely looking forward to more of this.

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

I don't like the Rainboom's cocky and rude attitude against the G.I. Joes. Not only it's for their own good, but it's standard military procedure.

Those girls should be the ones that owe a big apology to the GI Joe's, not the other way around.

Especially Sunset for abusing her mind reading powers, and Rarity has the audacity to casually trapping highly trained men and women right in front of them!?

P.S. They should feel lucky that they aren't captured by Cobra, because if they do something similar like this, they would freaking regret it because Cobra Commander won't tolerate their crap, and we will most likely torture them or threaten to go after their own families next!!!

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

11760609

Are you sure that the girls are willing to fight against a horrible terrorist organization willing to kill, torture, and personally go after their families and those they love!?

[Comickook]

11760649
I'm sure at least a few of them would be even MORE determined to help stop Cobra KNOWING the stakes were that high. After all, they wouldn't just be fighting to protect themselves, but also everybody they care about.

Kind of like how certain villains going after a hero's family and friends (such as Lex Luthor concerning Superman, the Joker concerning Batman, the Green Goblin concerning Spider-Man, Doctor Doom concerning Mister Fantastic, Moriarty concerning Sherlock Holmes or Blofeld concerning James Bond) just makes the hero even more determined to stop them.

And it also would be a sign that they were ready to "graduate" to a higher level of heroics.