Bugsydor's Cryogenic FicFrag Storage

by Bugsydor

The Centerpiece

Author's Note:

This one hails from a worldline inspired by my recent fic, The Crystal and the Mirage, in which Rarity doesn't realize she's part dragon. In this case, her failure to realize this quirk of her ancestry is despite some rather obvious-looking tells. Well, obvious to omniscient outsiders like us. Perhaps not so obvious to a pony who sincerely believes that egg-laying is a perfectly ordinary part of a mare's life.

I blame ColTill, Georg, and DocFlareon for this one.

DocFlareon, by the way, is trying to convince me to make this sort of thing canon. If that does happen, this fic may vanish from here to be incorporated into a larger one.

"Rarity, did you hear?" Spike said, waving his arms frantically. "The Cakes just had twins!"

"That's wonderful news, Spikey-wikey. Hmm... What to bring them as a gift? I could always go with a gold nugget, I suppose. It's traditional, but it's just so impersonal."

"Tradition?" Spike replied, raising one scaly eyebrow. "I guess it is sorta their birthdays, but aren't they a little too small to appreciate presents right now?"

Rarity tittered. "Nonsense, Spike. Every hoard needs to start somewhere, and it's my responsibility as a friend of the family to do my part. At least, that's how it was explained to me when we did this for Sweetie Belle. Friends and extended family crawled out of the woodwork from all over to pitch in for hers. And for mine too, I suppose.

"Come now, Spike!" she said, prancing over to what could only be described as a treasure chest and unlocking it with her magic. "If we pick out something just right for one of the foals, it could end up as their hoard's centerpiece!" And then various beautifully crafted odds and ends began to spill into the air, each one wrapped in her telekinesis's blue glow.

'It's funny,' Rarity mused as she and Spike rummaged through the chest of semi-valuables for something appropriate, 'I never saw any eggs around the Cakes' residence. They must have been keeping them warm in the oven.'

"Aha!" she cried out, holding her prizes aloft: a crystalline mallet and a topaz-encrusted tiara. "They're perfect."

"You sure? How do you figure? And aren't those a little big for foals?"

"In reverse order: Three, they'll grow into them later, and they're going to be kept in a hoard most of the time anyway. Two, a mare just knows these things, Spike. And one, absolutely.

"Now let's go and see these precious foals!" She flounced to the front and slammed the boutique's doors open dramatically, before some of the certainty evaporated from her eyes. "Actually, where are they?"

"They were just born, so, at the hospital?"

"WHAT?!"

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Oh, you have to expand this into a full-fledged story. Maybe have Rarity going on about how Sweetie Belle was so adorable when she first nibbled at her eggshell during a spa session while Fluttershy just nods, afraid to say anything. And this Rarity could certainly help Spike with learning about dragon culture... if she ever recognized that she could.

"Dragons? I'm ever so sorry, dearest, but I wouldn't know the first thing about dragons. Now come along, we simply must incinerate those dreadful creatures trying to encroach upon our hoard."

[Bugsydor]

8999256
Dag nabbit dangit, not you too!

Oh well, I may as well face the inevitable. It is a delightful story concept, after all.

I suppose unicorn horn nubs could function as a sort of egg tooth, so they'd have the easiest time hatching out of the three tribes.

"You know, darling," Rarity said, stroking Spike's spines with a hoof, "this revelation casts a lot of my life in a new light."

Spike rolled over in place so he could look at his newly official – marefriend? vixfriend? love. – as they spoke, mostly succeeding in not tangling his wings in the process. "How so?" he asked. "You didn't suddenly become even more beautiful when I found out you were part dragon. It was good to hear that your Grandpa Merc seems to like me, though."

Rarity gave him a playful thwap with her tail from where she lay. "Oh, you always did know how to flatter a mare... or whatever it is I count as. But surely some of my behavior struck you as being 'off the baseline', non?"

Spike's eyes went flat. "I was hatched as part of an entrance exam, and then raised by a princess and a mad scientist. I accepted long ago that my 'baseline' doesn't exist."

"Well, what about the times when I would start undignifiedly hoarding every object I could get my hooves on? Or hiss at ponies?"

Spike just shrugged, earning another thwap.

"Or how I used to think that all ponies hatched from eggs? It took the Cake Twins' arrival to disabuse me of that notion, and even then, I was convinced that it was a unicorn thing."

Spike scratched his chin. "Yeah, I guess that did seem kinda weird at the time..."

And then the scene depicted in this chapter would play, followed by Spike asking what she did with all the eggs she laid. The rest of the fic would likely be a series of such flashbacks, interlinked by the framing story. The title would be ...You Might Be a Dragon, and each chapter title would be the first part of that pseudo-Foxworthyism.

Whatever the case, I'm adding you to my list of people to blame.

[FanOfMostEverything]

8999356
I happily accept this blame.

(And darn if that isn't a fun joke prompt. "If the first question you ask someone you meet them is 'what color is your breath?', you might be a dragon.")

[SIGAWESOME]

Rarity, being the generous pony/dragon that she is, gives Sweetie, Applebloom, and Scootaloo tips on creating their very first hoards as they get older...

[Bugsydor]

9003623
Oh please. Sweetie started her hoard a long time ago.

[SIGAWESOME]

9003981

Sweetie started her hoard a long time ago.

Too bad it all caught fire...twice