All Of My Unrequited Love For You

by ButterflyEclipse

No More Goodbyes

"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie squealed. All three of them were at the local coffee shop. Applejack was sat next to her as she was sipping from her drink. Rainbow and Applejack never made anything official or anything. People around just assumed that they were together and they were fine with it. They have spent a lot more time together over the last year. They are constantly at each other's place, playing video games, doing homework and that type of activities. "Can you pick up some soda and popcorn for the party?"

"There's going to be a party?"

"Well, duh."

"When?"

Applejack answered for Pinkie, "Thursday."

"Uh, yeah sure."

"Okie dokie lokie. I need to stop by the dollar store and pick up some more decorations. You two have fun!" With that Pinkie left gleefully. Applejack moved over so that both of them were sitting on the same couch.

Rainbow looked at her while asking, "Another party? Wasn't there one a few weeks ago?"

"It's for a good reason."

"After I deliver what I have to, do you wanna skip the party with me? I know Pinkie will probably yell at me, but I am really not in a party mood this week. Especially now that my ankle is sore from practice."

"Here, bring ya leg up." Rainbow hesitated at first, but rose her legs so that Applejack could gently massage her ache. "Does this hurt?"

"Uh, not really." Applejack then pressed quite hard, causing Rainbow to groan out in pain, "Ok, yeah now it hurts."

"Sorry. You want to skip the party?"

"Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?"

"Sort of. Did something happen between you and Fluttershy?"

"No. Why?"

"Because I don't know a darn good reason for you miss out this party otherwise. If something happened, you better fix it before it's too late."

"I'm confused. What does this party have to do with Fluttershy?"

"Do y'all seriously not know?"

"Know what?"

"The reason that Pinkie is throwing a party on Thursday?"

"Since when does Pinkie need a reason to throw a party?'

"Point taken. But this party is different from the other ones she hosted. It's a farewell party."

"For who?"

"Fluttershy."

---

"When were you going to tell me that you were leaving?" Rainbow yelled to Fluttershy. As soon as Rainbow heard it, she couldn't believe it. She needed proof, so she ran over to Fluttershy's place, knocked on her door impatiently. Rainbow was stunned when she opened the door and saw most of the place empty. Paintings were taken down, the animal figurines were gone and nothing but a large suitcase stood in the room.

"I figured someone was going to tell you eventually." Fluttershy whispered.

"You were seriously letting me find out at the last possible moment?"

"Well, Pinkie was throwing that party so I thought it was obvious at that point—"

"No, that's not the point, Flutters. You're leaving and you weren't going to tell me in person?" Fluttershy was genuinely taken aback. For a while, she thought Rainbow didn't care enough to stop her. She didn't expect her to be so affected by this.

"I thought you were too busy and—"

"Stop with those excuses. You could've told me when you gave me that book like a week ago. Or you could've told me when we saw each other a few days ago in the hallway. You had multiple opportunities to tell me."

Fluttershy didn't say anything. All she could do was sit on her couch and stare at the floor. She wouldn't dare sneak a glimpse into those magenta eyes. "...I'm sorry."

Rainbow Dash wasn't going to take it anymore, she sat next to Fluttershy and took her hands, waiting until their eyes meet. "What I don't understand is how you could not tell me. I'm your best friend—"

"I am?"

"What? Of course you are. Why would you think you aren't?"

"Because you've never given me a reason to believe that we are anymore. You've avoided me entirely for a year. For all I know, you hated being around me and never wanted to interact with me ever again."

"Fluttershy... I value our friendship a lot. I will admit, I have been a very shitty friend. There is nothing that can be argued against that. But I don't think I can deal with at least not being your friend. This past decade has been awesome and part of the reason is because you were there. Which is why I am so intense right now. I don't want to have to lose the one constant in my life. And I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that I made you feel anything less than my best friend. I don't hate being around you, I never did. You've truly been there for me countless of times— more times than any other person has. There is no way anyone could replace you or the time we spent together."

Fluttershy couldn't help it anymore. She couldn't contain the tears falling, cascading down her cheek. She felt so pathetic and ashamed. Rainbow tried comforting her by hugging her tight, but that made Fluttershy feel worse. Feeling Rainbow's grasp that never failed to remind her of warmth and safety felt like it had just been weaponized against her. Despite how much Rainbow has hurt her— she couldn't let go of the fact that she still loved her, now matter how hard she tried to stop for both of their sake.

Between quiet sobs and whispers, Fluttershy muttered, "I'm sorry for not telling you. Even if we weren't on the best terms, you deserved to know directly from me."

"It's alright. Where are you moving?" They shifted to a more comfortable position. Fluttershy hesitated letting them be so close, but her last moments of despair craved for a droplet of affection. Rainbow laid back against a wall and let Fluttershy rest on her chest. This wasn't at all considered abnormal. They were both years past the times they'd be shy to be this close. Instinctively, Fluttershy let Rainbow fidget with her fingers whilst she impatiently waited for an answer.

"Um... North Mossbay."

"That's- wow. That's really far away."

"It's where my mom is staying. I'm moving there so that I can take care of her. She doesn't have much time left."

"Oh... now I remember. She moved about a year or two ago, right? She was always so kind and caring towards me. You're a lot like her." A year ago. Another moment where Fluttershy wished she had Rainbow to be there for her. She was not. Instead, she lived truly alone for the first time, isolated by the ones she loved.

"I should've left sooner. That way I could spend more time with her. But, she would always refuse saying that I should give SVU a chance."

"Wait, yeah that's right! You got into SVU, right? What happened to it?"

"I'm going to decline it."

"Wait what? Why?"

"Because I can't afford to pay for rent here. North Mossbay is a lot more affordable anyways."

"You can think of jobs later."

"Rainbow, I don't have much here. The animal shelter closed, my only parent is a few hundred miles away, everyone else is choosing colleges outside of Canterlot. There's not a lot keeping me here."

Rainbow was stuck. She couldn't take Fluttershy from her own mother, but SVU was something she talked about wanting to get into since they were in middle school. She couldn't believe Fluttershy was going to give up her dream school. She remembered the hours they had both sat underneath the stars and talked about their future together. It felt like a time warped happened, where a part of Rainbow doesn't recognize the hollow despair behind Fluttershy's eyes. Suddenly, Rainbow had the realisation,

"Wait, if you move away, I won't have a roommate for college. Didn't we make a promise that we'd share an apartment together?

"I thought we had a change of plans."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I thought after all these years, you'd want a different roommate. Maybe someone you might like better like Applejack or someone else."

"Flutters, do you not remember when we'd stay up all night planning our future? We even took an oath." Rainbow laughed as she recalled how serious they both were. Middle school was a time when the only friend they had were each other. They didn't want to let that go so they swore to always be close— so that neither ever has to be alone. The difference here was that, Fluttershy was always still alone, but Rainbow had friends the size of a baseball quartier.

"Of course I remember. That was the reason I stayed for as long as I did."

"Why can't we still do that? I'm sorry, I just hate for you to not get into SVU. You actually got in. That was a moment you kept waiting for since the beginning!"

"SVU like other colleges have an expensive tuition, Dash. Our plan was to live in an apartment together so that we could both save money on rent for college. Since I assumed we weren't going to be following through with that plan anymore, I didn't see any worth in going to SVU just to eventually drop out because I can't afford tuition. It would be a waste of everyone's time and money."

"Even if I wasn't your roommate, couldn't you still find another one? Not that I am, I'm just not following."

"Dashie... it doesn't matter now. I want to spend the last moments of my mom's life with her."

---

"Come in!" Rainbow yelled. Applejack came into her room with a stack of mail in her hands.

"Rainbow, you should seriously deal with the hoard of mail piling out the front door. There could be something important."

"Nah. Most are spam anyways."

"So," Applejack started as she sat on the bed. "Did you talk to Fluttershy?"

"Yeah..."

"Which means we're not going to skip the party, right?"

"Yeah, of course we're not."

"Good. I'd hate to miss out on a goodbye." She then shuffled through the envelops and flyers. "Yeah, most of these are junk." She then stared at the last one. It was different than the other obvious advertisements and offers. This one was a letter with a wax seal and everything.

"Blossom Shy? Why does that name sound familiar?"

Rainbow stopped at the mention of the name. She turned to face Applejack who held the envelop in her hands. "Blossom Shy? That's Fluttershy's mom."

"Oh right— yeah the address is from Mossbay too. From the looks of it, it was posted about a week or two ago."

"Can I have it?" Applejack handed her the envelop and watched as Rainbow opened it.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

It has been a while, hasn't it? I do hope that all is well. I am going to be quite direct in this letter. I already have limited time left— it would be foolish to waste any of it.

Fluttershy just told me that she will be moving here after high school ends. Actually, I think she's considering moving earlier than that. I truly think she's making a big mistake doing that. No matter how much I try to talk sense into her, she doesn't see that this would be a grave mistake. You know how much Fluttershy has wanted to be a vet and I'd absolutely hate for her not to achieve that because of me. She deserves to at least give SVU a chance. So I'm writing to you because I was hoping that you could convince her as well. Before it is too late, she should live the life that she has worked so hard towards. Unlike the life that I've lived, I do not want grief to set her back too far. And I know how hard I am making this for her— and believe me, it breaks my heart to not be able to see her one last time— but I know that in the long run, Fluttershy will be much happier and loved. That's what I want above all.

I also have one last request. When I am gone, please take care and look out for my daughter for me. I know you have already done that since you were both seven. Fluttershy would always tell me how much she admired you like a hero. She would constantly boast about how you saved her from her bullies and other mean people. You cared for her so amazingly in the past decade that I know that you will do a great job caring for her now. I am sorry if I am putting a lot of pressure on you, but I know when I am no longer here, Fluttershy will need you.

I do not want to pry and ask why you two are not talking to each other anymore. I just know that one day, you hurted her, and that really affected her. But it has been clear since day one that she still loves and cherishes you. So, please Rainbow Dash. As my last dying wish, apologize and make up for whatever young mistakes you have made and continue to be the beacon of hope for Fluttershy that I know that you have always been.

— Kind regards, Blossom Shy

Rainbow felt her entire body tremble. She couldn't let Fluttershy go now. Not after her mother had made it her last wish for her to stay. She didn't realize a tear had escaped her eye until a hand swiped it away. Instinctively, Rainbow flinched when they made contact, causing Applejack to back away.

"I-I'm sorry, AJ."

"It's alright, Dash." She said with a hidden frown.

"Can you call Pinkie? Tell her we need to change plans for the party."

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Because we're not going to throw Fluttershy a going away party. We're going to throw a different kind of party."

---

The sound of her phone calling drained out. She was now impatient. Why was she not picking up? Maybe she's just taking a nap or looking at the flower garden. Her mind was ambushed by excuses that she never thought of the real possibility that on the other end, there might be no one anymore. She threw away the possibility and was insistent on getting an answer.

She felt at ease when someone picked up the call finally. "M-Mom?"

"I'm sorry." The other line spoke softly. A voice she did not recognize. "Blossom Shy passed two hours ago. I wish you all of my condolences."

Horror tripped in front of Fluttershy's eyes. "W-wait. What?! No. She said- she said she had more time."

"Yes. However a month ago, she was informed that her time may be shorter than we thought."

"A month?! Why didn't she or any of you tell me?"

"Because she did not allow us to tell you. Legally, we are unable to share the health status of our clients without their written consent. She said she wanted to spare you the burden of witnessing her passing."

Time turned to eternity flew by— each passing second threatening to brutally break Fluttershy. Her mom was dead. She was an orphan now. She knew that she was going to die any day now and she refused to tell her own daughter. Even after the lost of her father at a very young age, her mom never explicitly told her. One day, he just wasn't there. The empathetic compassion in her heart skipped beats.

She still remembers the distraught and heartbreak her mother went through, watching day by day her lover be taken away from her grasp and losing parts of him everyday, starting from his body to his clothes showing up in the laundry to his smell on his favourite spot on the couch. No matter how hard she tried to keep him alive in her life and pretended he never died, there was a stronger force that trapped her to remember and repeat the moment when colour escaped her lover's eyes. She wanted to spare her only daughter the pain and torment of seeing her loved ones perish in front of her eyes. She withdrew as an act of compassion. Fluttershy understood it. Which was what made her even more frustrated. Frustrated at her mom, herself and maybe her dad as well— creating a family reunion of blame. Maybe her dad had decided it was time to reach back for his lover.

Fluttershy didn't know what to do with her emotions. Her life had become lost at sea now. With no anchor, sails or way home, her vessel would succumb to the deepest of storms. Fluttershy has never had the easiest life— her dad passing, constant bullying, unstable best friends, all of it— nothing compared to the pain growing like a tumor on her heart. All she wanted to do was flee. And she did. Abruptly, she ended the call and left running.

---

"Alright! Do we have everything ready?"

"I don't know about this Rainbow." Twilight commented. "Are you sure this is what Fluttershy wants? It's her decision whether she stays or not."

"No, this is what she needs."

"Why do you think you know what she needs?" Sunset asked in the most genuine way she can.

"Because I know her better than anyone else. I know that if she doesn't take the offer, she will regret it for the rest of her life."

"This isn't an easy choice, Dash. She's choosing to be with her mother or stay here for SVU. If she goes to college, who knows when's the next time she will see her." Twilight added. "I just want to make sure that you have Fluttershy's best interest here."

"Of course I do. I always will."

"Uh, Rainbow? Who else did you invite?" Applejack asked.

"Just the six of us. Why?"

"Because someone's walking up the driveway." Following this was a faint sound of a knock. Rainbow Dash sighed as she went down to open the door, expecting it to be a delivery person. She was shocked when Fluttershy stood there at the doorway.

"Oh, uh hey Flutters! Um— w-what are you doing here?"

"Hi." Rainbow immediately sensed that something was off. Something about the way she said that single word made Rainbow question her supposed smile. "Are the rest of the girls here? I saw Sunset's bike across the street."

"Yeah—" Without anything else, Fluttershy went past her and went up to her bedroom. The rest of her friends were shocked as well to see her before the party.

"Oh, Fluttershy, darling! We were just planning your party. I promise we were going to invite you to plan things out, but we figured that you were busy with packing and all of that." Rarity explained. Rainbow, now caught up with Fluttershy, was standing right behind her when she says,

"No need for the party, girls."

"Aww why?!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I promise this won't be a loud crazy party! We just want to be able to say goodbye the proper way!"

"We won't say goodbye." Fluttershy muttered. "Because I've decided that I'm not leaving."

"Wait, what?" Rainbow was the first say it. Immediately after her whole group of friends huddled around her, hugging her tightly.

"Goodness gracious." Rarity said, "I am so relieved that you're staying."

"Still, we can still have a party right? Because now, we actually have something to celebrate now!" Pinkie yelled as she squished Fluttershy until she struggled to breathe. Eventually she let go and Fluttershy strangely went limp. Rainbow was quick to catch her right away. As it were an instinct, her arms caught grasp of Fluttershy before she could fall to the ground.

When Fluttershy could stand, her stance still felt unstable, Rainbow noted as she saw a glimpse of agony escape her face before she concealed it with a smile. "T-Thank you."

"Great timing for you to tell us, Shy." Sunset commented, "We were just changing all the plans to a 'yay you're staying party' anyways."

"W-What do you mean? Why would you throw that kind of party if you didn't know if I was going to leave or not?"

"Well, let's just say that Rainbow was still determined to make you stay." Applejack said this time. Rainbow looked at Fluttershy guiltily.

This was what Rainbow and her mother wanted. Rainbow wanted Fluttershy to stay here, so why was she not happy at all about this?

Maybe because the look rested on Fluttershy's face did not compensate for any amount of happiness Rainbow felt. She looked around to her friends. She couldn't tell if the others had noticed the slight change in her. It was her slouched back, her trembling fingers and her ghostly red-stained eyes. It was the way that she took an extra breath before saying every sentence. It was how all the light and hope that she had in her body had disappeared in a mere gaze. Fluttershy was mere moments away from breaking down— it just wasn't obvious to everyone except Rainbow. Rainbow could see it if she was blind and was in a room wielding nothing but beautiful darkness. Something was terribly wrong. She had never seen her with so much sadness in her skin.

"Hey, Flutters, I just realized that I still have your— I mean, since you're here can you...," Rainbow kept hesitated, thinking of an excuse, "...come downstairs with me and check up on Tank?"

"Oh is something wrong?"

"Just come with me please."

Though lying was never and never will be Applejack's strong asset, she has developed to know when someone may be lying to her. She can easily sense when Apple Bloom was lying about doing her chores correctly or when Braeburn was making up some elaborate story to boost his pride. With Rainbow Dash, she could see the swift in her body language and voice. There is also the strong possibility that people like Apple Bloom and Rainbow are just terrible liars in general, but still, Applejack knew that Tank was fine and that Rainbow just wanted a reason to be alone with Fluttershy. She decided to not think much about it, but noted it in the back of her mind.

---

Tank looked at Fluttershy wide eyed. Incredibly slowly, a smile appeared on his face.

"Hello to you too, Tank." Fluttershy giggled as she picked him up. "How are you?" Even without a geode, she could tell that nothing was bothering the tortoise. She then looked up to where Rainbow stood, confused.

"Yeah sorry. I just— needed an excuse. Tank's fine. I've still have him on that diet you recommended me."

Fluttershy nodded blankly. She immediately knew why she was downstairs alone with her friend. Why else would they be? Her eyes started to swim in overflowing tears. Suddenly, her sight grew blurry, blinded by the vision of grief.

"The reason you're staying... don't get me wrong I love that you're staying but, I can't help but think that if you're willing to stay here it's so easily is because— well. I-Is she...?" No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Her mind screamed at her to say that simple yet cruel word, but she couldn't. No word or implication could've croaked out of her throat. It didn't matter anyways, because from the way Fluttershy was breaking in her living room, it answered her question.

"T-Three hours ago." Fluttershy stuttered out. Rainbow grimaced at the colossal amount of pain she was in. Faster than she could think, she wrapped her arms around the broken down girl freely letting Fluttershy go limp in her arms.

Fluttershy sobbed more, still not moving from her position. In the quietest little squeak she choked out, “R-rainb-bow?”

“Yeah, I’m here Flutters. I'll be here every moment you need me to be.” Rainbow said in the softest voice that anyone has ever heard her. Grief and agony weighed them both down, forcing Rainbow to sit on the floor, her back pressed against the edge of her couch with Fluttershy always deep in her arms. Both were now sitting underneath dim lights, trying to cry their pain away. Rainbow gently caressed her hair as Fluttershy continued weeping into her faintly blue neck.

---

They were taking a while. All the girls needed to go now, and leave to their own homes. The only way to do that was to go from downstairs to the front door, past the living room. So there was no outcome of them not seeing those two on the ground fully embracing each other. They had both fallen asleep, but their arms were still around each other, keeping them close. Fluttershy's face was nuzzled in the side base of Rainbow's neck and her arms wrapped around her waist. Rainbow's hand was holding her head up as her elbow rested on the edge of the couch. It seemed like a very uncomfortable postion for both to be in, but they were still peacefully sleeping with each other so close.

Applejack felt her friends stare at her. They had all expected that her and Rainbow were a couple by now. Applejack took a second to close her eyes and breathe normally before resisting to her loud urges. Instead, she went back upstairs to Rainbow's bedroom and brought down a blanket to cover both of them for the night. In a quiet whisper she spoke, "Goodnight you two." and turned off the remaining lights.

All of her friends went off their separate ways now. Applejack had softly closed the door and locked it with a backup key Rainbow had showed her the location of. Once she placed the key back where it was hiding, she went off on her sage green jeep. While driving under the lonely streetlights, she had time to think about Rainbow Dash. Did she like her? Yeah sure, she liked her. Were they ever really together? She couldn't really tell. It was more that the people around them pushed to this narrative that they were and they never corrected them. Then, Applejack thought about the time she had spent with Rainbow Dash recently. Though they were both together for a considerable amount of time, Rainbow always felt hesitant. Which was why she had a hard time answering her own question: Did what she saw earlier bother her a lot?

Seeing Rainbow and Fluttershy so close felt strangely familiar. Despite them not talking for quite some time this past year, it is hard to ever surpass their foundation of trust and bond. They always come back when the other needed them to. Even when she saw them together in the living room, though she felt sparks of anger and jealousy, it didn't last long. Why? She wondered to herself. Maybe it was because Rainbow never felt present in their relationship in the first place. Whatever the reason was, she knew she had to talk to Rainbow Dash soon about this.

Comments

[DragonIdiot]

what the baloney-

NO BLOSSOM SHY- FLUTTERS IS GONNA BE SO SAD NOW#

i thought RD made that call at first and i wa abt to smite her