We follow a human scientist with a fascination for the living dead, turned griffon 200 years before the return of Nightmare Moon. Will he continue his quest for madness or will he find something worth protecting?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You'll like it?"
I noticed you don't use punctuation all the time, you should work on that a ',' '?' and '!' can really help you convey the emotions of a dialogue, without it everyone seems like Maud
Too bad*
11669449
I’ll try, thanks for the input.
Comfortable there Celestia?
Before leaving. I decided*
If they are leaving then they were obviously left alone, no need to specify it, you already implied that
Than the muder*
That he was so young*
You already said teenager, avoid repeating words when alternatives are present
I'm a-a man, and y-you're a woman*
Stop using Male and Female, no one uses those words unless they talk about animals, Man and Woman author, why do you keep avoiding these words for gods sake
My regalia, putting it in my ponykin*
Stop repeating words
You could write something like
I'll deal with her later*
It's much more impactful
You know, them speaking each other's full names seems kinda impersonal, I'd suggest making them use nicknames like Celly/Tia Nuby/An/An-An
"Oh, ok, I'm sorry, won't happen again." avoid writing their names so much
Stabs*
Although Pierces is a much better word
Somehow
Bowed*
They bowed, we know it is down, no need to specify it
Was Captain Graceful slacking off or was the Doctor the one who was running laps?
11669486
Ok then I won’t put effort into details.
11669647
No Caption Graceful wanted to go to the seen of the murder because of how close it was to his home.
11669655
Oh I see so Graceful isn't there.
Sorry I was confused.
11669648
No, no, you misunderstand, detail is good, but it depends on where and how much.
And be a little more specific, that reply was big
11669664
I’m just trolling, I understand what you meant and I see you point. Bowed down in the context that I used it in, is basically the same as saying bowed bowed.
11669662
I should have made it a bit more clear.