Spider-Man Scaled Web-Head

by Corrupting Dragon28

Origins - Waking Dreams

Flashback...

"Y'know ever since I can remember,life's always treated me as the butt of it's joke.."

A little infant dragon was being carried through Canterlots streets with a gasping audience being shocked about the 'horrid' sight being casted with comments like...

"Eww,What's that little beast doing in our city."

"And what's it doing without a leash."

"Ugh,I'm getting sick just by look at it!"

"It's sick..cruel joke."

"To be treated like something lower than what you are already are...a living creature."

A little more grown Spike was serving many ponies at once on hand and foot dressed as a little butler with Princess Celestia being in the center.

"To serve on a creature with all of your being and just be granted just that single grain of respect just make me feel like I shouldn't have been born. "

"...Then when I felt it all changed,when it felt like I belonged,when things in my life felt at ease to finally let my guard down-"

The baby dragon was now being liked,feeling loved when settled in the town of Ponyville feeling like everything was really going his way.

"-So much that it changes you...."

The Dragon became compliant,so wrapped out with a crowd in a quest for trying be like them,quick picked up their 'bad habits' someone unlike himself,between him trying to giving part in an the accusation against someone unlike the creatures that surround him daily going to unbelievable stakes just for the sake of jealously,blinding himself to the reality of the situation he thought was friendship....

...and love

"For me it felt perfect until that supposed very special night was a eye opener to me in more ways than one."

The Grand Galloping Gala

"....It was like my childhood all over again....how I felt like the only creature in the this world...but it wasn't the only thing that came from that night."

"I say all of my mistakes reflected back on me and what I have turned into....and also I found that all that wishing,pretending for what I thought was friendship="

"-was-"

"-just what I've been doing-"

"-my whole life...."

After that night Spike knew that he couldn't be the same dragon he turned into but luckily this time he wasn't alone thanks to three rays of life in his darkness.

---

SSSSPPPIIKKKEEE!!!

Author's Note:

Ok,this is kind of diving a little deep into the hidden lore I have added to Spike past.

If you haven't already got it,Spike was in a kind off a lucid dream recounting his life due to him being knocked unconscious from the spider bite but we'll get to the real world in the next chapter.

Once again if anyone has any constructive criticism for me because once again I'm new to fimfiction and writing like this in general and I'm learning.

Also reaching out to any good artists for coverart for my future Scaled Webhead stories and future stories that I have to establish in the future.

See you guys next time!!!
:)

Comments

[Idiotboy24]

I'm interested to see where this heads, but the first issue is that it goes a little too fast. Slow the pacing a little more so the plot can breathe and give room for development, also have the words that happen after a comma be spaced.

Also, make chapters a little longer so that you provide enough content to satisfy readers.

Anyway, I hope this helped have a good day.

[Wild Stallion]

This is a definite improvement over the first chapter. The pacing is nice and I felt engaged the whole way.

The usage of pictures is masterfully done as I can easily understand the emotions your getting at.

Some paragraphs like this one could still stand to be broken up.

The Dragon became compliant,so wrapped out with a crowd in a quest for trying be like them,quick picked up their 'bad habits' someone unlike himself,between him trying to giving part in an the accusation against someone unlike the creatures that surround him daily going to unbelievable stakes just for the sake of jealously,blinding himself to the reality of the situation he thought was friendship....

And you need to work on adding spaces after coma's.

On the whole though it's a tremendous bit of improvement.

I can see the disjointed affect your going for and as long as you fix the previous chapter so that it better demonstrates the lead up in the author's note you should be good.

Anyways I greatly enjoy Spiderman and you have a interesting premise in regards to how Spike is feeling so I'm going to track this and see how it goes.