SL-5: Love, Fluff, and Thunder

by RadBunny

Intermission: Shifting Gears (Author Comment)

Hello everyone! Radbunny here.

So, I'm at a bit of an impasse, and thought I'd share my thoughts; a bit of a stream of consciousness that hopefully makes sense.

A recent comment on SL-5 prompted me to think things over, and honestly, I can't thank them enough for it. Due to life circumstances, updates to this story have been sporadic (obviously,) and the comment also caused me to think about, or rather, accept a few things about this story.

I've got a significant portion written, 200 pages in a word document to be precise. And yet, there's an underlying problem with it all.

While yes, there's not much motivation on my part right now, that's due to multiple factors. I've got a bunch of other RL projects I am working on. That actually includes getting the first of an entire series of books ready for formal beta-reading, editing, and publishing, which takes priority over FimFiction stuff, but that's not the entirety of it.

What I realized, is that I want to, and need to shift gears.

SL-5, and the "Radverse" Series in general was a fantastic journey and a blast to write; I also learned a ton from it! However, SL-5 had a lot of problems, mainly stemming from me not planning ahead and building up various things, or having certain arcs drag on far too long. Stakes were raised more and more, and without proper background, it just became fragmented. Which, to be fair, makes sense. The original trilogy that influenced this one (Timeless, Sunspots, Cure for a Toxin,) was meant to be self contained. As the stories have progressed, so have the stakes and scope been raised and elevated. I've stayed with the similar universe and characters for a long, long time over multiple stories. The "Radverse", if you will.

What I really enjoyed from this comment was that they noticed things started to fall apart as soon as those stakes and overall scope was increased; and they were right. I can write high-stakes and extremely powerful creatures, but it needs to be planned out to avoid the pitfalls of just being more "high stakes, more power, more EVERYTHING" for the sake of tension. And that planning wasn't there from the start, and I tried my best to fill in the gaps as I went, with obviously mixed results.

Which comes to the impasse with this story.

I know how I'd want this story to continue to go; I've written a good amount and have an outline. But that's just it though- it would be more of the same. It'd be a fun romp, to be sure. But there's nothing that new about it compared to SL-5, not in the same way that SL-5 introduced things. This story has action, romance, freaky creatures, sure. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized it's a re-blended SL-5, and is starting to show some of the same failings. And that's not terribly fun to write, nor to read.

I want to put things out for people to read that I have fun writing. If I don't have fun writing it, it's likely not going to be terribly fun to read. And there's some more ideas that I've already got 30+ pages written in that take a new direction, and one that would involve the readers as well! (Such as voting/commenting on events to occur in the next chapter or two.)

And I'd love to get started on that. But, I don't want to just cancel this story and say that's it.

There's very few, if any stories I leave unfinished on this platform. But this might be the one. So, I leave it to the comments to decide how you'd like me to proceed. I can stop the chapters now, or I can publish what I have up to the decent stopping point, and mark the story as complete at that good point- which is about 12 chapters from here. (There's more I've written after that, but there isn't a good stopping point.) It'd naturally be a cliffhanger in some respects, but it also would serve as a nice and satisfying conclusion in other respects. I assume that's what people would want, but I wanted to make sure, as the adage for "he who assumes" holds true.

So, I'm curious on your thoughts on all of this. It has been a bit of a crazy few weeks over here, and while this is more of a journal, it's applicable to this story, hence why I'm publishing it as a chapter.

The two potential stories to be next would be these; and I'm curious if either sound more or less interesting. I'm leaning towards the first, but both have very different settings and characters.

---

The Frost: (A good number of comment-driven chapters/arcs are planned.)
Alloy Aegis started at the bottom. No parents, no money, and no chance of being anything but one of 'those pony orphans' in a big city with a non-pony majority. At last, after years of grinding labor, he had finally secured a well-paying job as a fabrication technician. Life was good, and he even had a date!

Sure, there were rumors of a harsh winter, but everyone dismissed that as fearful gossip. Surely that's all it was...right?

Four words hidden within a job contract made Alloy wonder if all was what it seemed. They loomed far more threatening than the storm-clouds on the horizon.

"Save who you can."

The truth of the disaster hit his life as fast as the frost did. When the lights go out, Alloy is shown what the cost of survival truly is.

How much will you give when hope freezes over? What will it take to thaw both physical walls of ice, and the frost that settles into the hearts of all survivors?

---

Beneath the Clouds: (Few, if any comment-driven chapters/arcs planned.) Equus is a hazardous wasteland. After decades of environmental pollution from the powerful Flim Flam corporation and multiple magical mishaps, a world once inhabited by ponies, kirins, gryphons, and more, is now utterly toxic to all life. In their desperate flight to an orbiting space station, the survivors of the exodus picked up a viral hitchhiker which now sickens much of the previously-healthy population.

Fern Lopper is the next in the line of dozens of scouts sent to the surface to prepare for another large-scale expedition. No family, few friends, a broad skillset, and thus the perfect candidate to secure a new landing site.

His life expectancy? Measured in days.
The dangers? Too many to count.
The local flora? Usually deadly to the touch.
Command assured the stallion that he was the only intelligent creature on the entire planet. He was completely alone.

For Fern’s sake, it’s a good thing they were wrong.

Comments

[ThePhantomAssassin]

Both of those stories sound cool AF, but I love a good Sci-Fi over anything. Especially if you worm a love story in there. I’m a sucker for a happy ending. If I had to pick one, I’d go with the second option.

As for this story, if you aren’t having fun writing it, just drop it. I can see the similarities between this one and its predecessor. It’s looking like this will end up like Avatar 2
Way of Water. Basically the first movie but in the ocean with some new stuff thrown in. It was a good movie sure, but in the same breath they had a whole planet of neat shit to do! And they re-used half the scenes from the first movie, but in the ocean.

[MathBrony173]

I think that publishing the chapters you have up to a decent stopping point sounds like a good plan.

I'm normally aversive to reading stories that I know will not be completed but the reasoning makes sense to me and I'm curious about what plot points will gain closure with what remains.

As for the next potential CYOA story, I'm personally leaning towards the first story, Frost.

[RadBunny]

11851231
Thank you for the feedback! Sci-Fi is definitely one of my favorites as well. Beneath the Clouds is a fun one since it's such a departure from other stories.
As for if there's a potential happy ending/love story....have,....have you read my other stories?

And that's a very very good comparison. Very similar with some new stuff thrown in.

[RadBunny]

11851252
And a vote for Frost! I do want to have a least a somewhat-ok stopping point. I already have the chapters written, so it's not a lot of effort to just put it through Grammarly and get the chapters out each week.

[ThePhantomAssassin]

11851254
I’ve read all your other stories. Doesn’t mean I can’t subtlety ask for some smoochin’ lmao

[RadBunny]

11851297
........FAIR ENOUGH!

[Reggie the Griffon]

I think Frost sounds cool but thats just me.
also I do kinda want to see the "end" of the *Radverse* things. Ive been drawn in and I dont want to let go. I understand if you are done with that and its fine but I really enjoyed SL-5 even with it pacing issues. It reminded me so much of SCP things and Metro and such. The farther you go in the worse and worse it gets as more things that were in stronger containment finally break out.
But I get it if you stop, writing is hard and its hard to write when you dont want to. it would compund forever and the writing suffers as well as motivation to write anything.

But I do like the sound of Frost tho as it seems a story of just strife and struggle of the common folk in a world at the start of an apocalypse
tho Beneath the Clouds sounds like some other stories I've read and they were great so that might be cool to see your take on it (tho most of those were bunkers or something of that sort not a space station)

~Reggie

[RadBunny]

11851424
Another vote for Frost it is; thank you! I have been writing sci-fi stuff a lot, so venturing into a more "Basic" setting, if you will, would be fun! And the story setting/plot arcs are perfect for reader engagement/ideas, and that can be planned into the overall story , versus "oh no there's nothing going on give me ideas."

The Clouds story would be written eventually as well- but it's similar sci-fi setting as others.

And I do like the premise for creepier/darker things the deeper you go. That said, I think the Radverse has run its course. The more I try to build into it, at this point, is going to be more detrimental to the overall story and characters. To that end, though, I think publishing chapters to the semi-decent stopping point is what I'll do.

[Reggie the Griffon]

11851438
Hey sounds good there isn't anything that you have written so far I haven't liked at least most of so I'm sure I'll love whatever story you write next

Also if you have an outline for the story even after the chapters you post or just some major parts and such some people might want to look at that as well. So either that with the posting of the chapters might be cool.

I am slightly upset out of all your stories I've read I still haven't gotten a wedding chapter. One of these days I wish you would write one for two random character. I'm begging you please. /s

[RadBunny]

11851457
Well, I appreciate it!

And I could actually do that! Perhaps just post a raw, unedited version of the remaining chapters or an outline of where I saw things going...that's certainly possible!

And funny enough, there's a reason for that! For most of my stories, the proposal is the ending of the relationship arc that is near to the end of the story. So, readers can imagine what they think the ideal wedding would be.
Someday, perhaps I'll write one though.

[Noble Cause]

Gonna throw my hat in the ring here and echo an earlier comment, if you're not enjoying yourself, then stop. I say post what you have and call it good at that stopping point.

As for story votes? I like both, for different reasons. Clouds grabs me because I'm a HUGE sucker for 'single being supposedly left on what should be a death world instead survives and even thrives'. Frost grabs me because I'm a fabrication technician in my day to day life (I make hydraulic hoses and gaskets for industrial and farming applications!) and to have that with a tense underlying aesthetic? I'm *all* about that.

I suppose you can count me as a double vote, in that regard.

[RadBunny]

11852168
Double vote it is!

And that's the current plan; I'll post up to about chapter 18 where there's a decent stopping point.

[Just_Me123]

Howdy, well, if you've run out of fresh ideas then the logical thing to do is to quit while your ahead. If you already have 12 more chapters of "stuff" going to a logical stopping point by all means please post it and bring this story a sense of closure, it will only help the story and if written right it will leave us with a sense of "the story is over but if you want any more you are certainly free to imagine it yourself" which is actually one good way of ending a story, or in this case a group of stories. Just a thought, but, if you haven't done so already, maybe you could work in a few paragraphs at the end of the wedding(s) of the main heroes to close the arcs and send us off with a new arc starting that we can run with in our own minds.

As for the two stories you've mentioned as new works, I like the sound of them both and would be interested in seeing what you have. The Frost gives me a mild Fallout Equestria vibe for some reason (though I can tell that it isn't going to be set in that AU) and Beneath the Clouds is clearly a combination of environmental disaster meets mutant monsters themes, only the monsters are going to be both sentient and sapient and integral to the main character's survival and possibly the redemption of the planet as well. It would be a bit like Godzilla only Godzilla can talk and if his trust can be gained he can work with the humans to help the world, rather than just continually devouring poor old Tokyo.

Anyway, I've enjoyed your Radverse stories and I'll be looking for whatever new stories you develop.

[RadBunny]

11852321
I appreciate the suggestions!

I think a wedding(s) chapter would be a bit premature, but there is a sense of at least some closure. Not 100%, but definitely a sense of "on to the next adventure."

Both stories have their different settings and themes, and I'm still torn which to work on!