Chapter Four: Questions
Astral yawned, the mare in his embrace giggling before she followed suit.
“Ugh. Now you have me yawning!” Sassi grumbled, scooting up a bit to nuzzle underneath Astral’s head. “But still, I’d say these times are worth it. Even if we are nocturnal.”
The two Thestrals were currently perched on their favorite hill overlooking both the rolling fields and the distant city. A large tree overshadowed them, and the sun had started to rise. It only happened once a week, but the rapid switch from day to night was eased with a slow, beautiful sunrise and sunset. It was one of the few official times Celestia and Luna continued their age-old duties. But it certainly made for quite the sight.
Astral and Sassi were exhausted, sure. But sacrificing a bit of sleep for their bi-weekly dates on this spot was worth it.
But that was the point, to visit this spot occasionally as they recovered. It was a barometer of sorts when the two of them could evaluate how well they were recovering when underneath the tree.
Of course, today, Astral had a specific topic for discussion.
Unwrapping one hoof from around Sassi (with a rather annoyed huff from the mare,) Astral fished around in a nearby saddlebag. He withdrew the desired item with a grin. To say he had been practicing was an understatement.
The braided vines circlet had an arrangement of pink and blue flowers on it, and the Thestral had gotten significantly better at braiding them since the Silos.
It also never failed to cause Sassi to smile and tear up. That alone made the hours of practice worth it.
Gently pushing Sassi back a bit as she looked at him, Astral held up the circlet for her to see. Her eyes flooded with tears, the mare sniffling as he gently set it on her head, brushing her adorable bangs off to the side.
He had plans for another one, but it was being forged by the royal blacksmiths in Canterlot. A beautiful circlet of silver, complete with flowers set with gems. The order had already been placed, of course. The Princess had offered to do it for free, but Astral refused. It didn’t feel right, not for this.
The Thestral’s thoughts flat-lined as Sassi gave him a kiss, the mare wrapping him up in a hug. Astral still didn’t believe that she hadn’t taken kissing classes. He’d never get tired of her soft lips on his.
She broke the kiss, gently reaching up to tap the circlet.
“I love these. I wish they lasted longer.”
He could barely conceal a giggle at that and had to force his thoughts to not broadcast to the mare. Oh, there’d be a circlet that wouldn’t ever fade, just not yet. But soon. Very soon.
“Well, it just means I have to keep making them. And I’m getting better and better at it!” he proclaimed, Sassi smiling. Her lips then trembled, the mare sniffling.
“You know how much it means to me. So, thank you,” she whispered. Astral only nodded, hugging her close to snuggle up with his special somepony again. He hadn’t forgotten that moment in the Silos when Sassi had started to see herself as a pony.
“I did have something I wanted to talk to you about,” he admitted.
“Oh?”
“I’m going to speak with Flask today. About something rather important.”
Sassi froze, but she then immediately hugged him tighter.
“O-oh?” her voice squeaked.
“Yup. So, if I’m not in the city, that’s where I’m at. I have to keep some things pleasantly secret.”
She smiled, the mare looking up at him. Her expression then shifted into that of a rather smug smirk.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about visiting your parents for the same reason,” Sassi replied. She reached up and tapped his muzzle with a hoof before Astral could speak. “And I know it might go badly. Doesn’t matter. If they don’t want to talk to me, then fine. But I’ll have made the effort, and anything else is on them. Is that okay for me to do? I don’t want to make things more complicated than they already are.”
“You’re welcome to try and speak with them. It won’t make things worse at this point,” Astral said with a sigh, nuzzling her ears. “Thank you for at least making the effort. It means a lot.”
“Hey, you’re worth it.”
Sassi paused, listening to her stallion’s heartbeat with a happy smile. Maybe it was due to the RASP modifications, but she loved being able to be aware of every little touch, every subtle movement as he hugged her close.
She had no idea how to speak with his parents, only that it needed to happen. If nothing else, they deserved the courtesy of being informed.
“Y’know, I like how it’s not an “if” I’ll marry you. It’s a when,” Sassi mused as Astral began to chuckle.
“It does make it a bit easier. Less of a surprise. It’s really not a question in my mind. I guess we’ll figure out the whole “how long” later.”
“Well, we need to still recover. But not too long.”
Sassi couldn’t help but laugh at seeing the cheesy grin on Astral’s face as he pulled back, settling down to rest against her shoulder as they leaned on each other.
“Oh yes, not too long,” he admitted, his ears then flattening. The Thestral’s expression then darkened.
“Gabbro mentioned something that made me think. How he’d go nuts in our current situation. Which isn’t to say we haven’t needed an occasional cold shower. But…”
The mare at his side waited patiently, immediately clued in that this ran a bit deeper than a mere observation.
“The fact we have boundaries is weird to so many, but I’m glad we do,” Astral said softly. “Even if it doesn’t make sense to others, or myself at times. Just,” he looked over to Sassi, resting his forehead against hers. “I don’t want our first intimate moments to be an escape, a distraction. And right now, that’s what it’d be. So, I’m just thankful you’re okay with it.”
“I think that’s very sweet,” Sassi replied after a moment’s pause. “And I completely agree. I’m just happy you share my view about being married first as well. I know so many creatures think it’s outdated.”
“To be fair, Gabbro came around. He now thinks it’s very romantic. Kind of the whole “the old way is now cool” sort of thing.”
“Did he now?”
The two of them chuckled, Astral shrugging his wings.
“I know that if we wait to be totally okay, our relationship won’t move forward,” he said softly. “So, it’s just getting over the initial hump. I’m going to be dealing with this trauma for the rest of my life. But I want to share that road with you in every way. So, not too long of an engagement.”
“That is one of the more romantic things you’ve said to date,” Sassi whispered, moving over to hug him, the sun now casting its rays on them. “And I agree. Not too fast, not too slow.” The city below began to slowly wake up. Sassi gave him a long kiss, a reassuring smile on her face.
“I guess this week is going to be a busy one?” she asked.
“Eyyyyyup.”
Oddly, Astral didn’t feel nervous. Not as much as he would have thought at least.
The Thestral was sitting outside of Flask’s home, the stallion having been given rather spacious accommodations. Considering he was under house arrest other than scheduled outings once a week, it could have been worse.
The door opened, and a guard nodded to Astral as he trotted in. There was an amusing bit of awe, whenever guards or creatures occasionally saw the Thestral. Understandable, but also misguided.
I can’t blame them for it. I’m some comic-book hero to many. What I’ve gone through isn’t really publishable…
Waiting in the carpeted entryway, Astral took a few deep breaths as he was led into a cozy living room lined with bookshelves and a softly-burning fire in the fireplace. That wasn’t the focus of today. Right now, a certain mare was on his mind. Hence the visit.
Perhaps that’s why I’m not nervous. It’s not a matter if we get married. I just would like Flask’s blessing.
Sassi’s question about visiting his parents had been a genuine surprise. He appreciated the gesture if nothing else. Maybe his boneheaded parents would at least acknowledge that much.
Nope. Can’t think about that. I’ll just get angry. And that’s far too easy nowadays.
Of course, the idea of proposing to Sassi erased any negative emotions. There were nerves, but not of if she’d say yes.
I just want it to be special.
“Hey, Astral!” Flask said, the orange earth pony shaking the Thestral’s hoof as the two settled down on some dark crimson cushions. The guards nodded, taking their leave and returning to their posts outside. “I appreciate the visit. It’s nice to have some conversation. The guards are warming up to me though,” the stallion admitted. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, I had a question for you, a rather important one,” Astral admitted. Flask’s ears perked up at that.
“Oh?”
“I’m going to ask Sassi to marry me,” the Thestral said, unable to stop himself from smiling. “And, if you’re willing, I’d like your blessing to do so.”
The earth pony stared, brown eyes starting to well up with tears.
“W-what?” he whispered. “I…” The stallion took a deep breath, struggling to compose himself. “I don’t understand. You’d marry her no matter what I say. I don’t understand why you’d want a blessing from someone like me. You shouldn’t want that, not after what I’ve done,” Flask said, his posture slumping as his brown eyes drifted to the floor.
“True, I don’t need permission or a blessing; we’d get married regardless,” Astral admitted. “But I want it, if you’re willing.”
Flask looked up at him, confusion, and a sliver of hope swimming in his eyes.
“Look, Flask. You did some horrid stuff. That’s on you. But in a world of suffering and pain, you tried to make Sassi’s life better. That was out of genuine love.” Astral then pointed to the stallion with a hoof. “That’s also on you. You saved her from a life of unimaginable agony and were there for her when nobody else was. You’re her father, and she loves you.”
Tears began to stream from Flask’s eyes, the earth pony’s lips trembling.
“So, of course, I’d like your blessing,” Astral said, chuckling softly. “I mean, you’re also the reason I’m alive and were more of a parent to me for a few years than my own flesh and blood. I’d say between saving my life and keeping Sassi as safe and happy as you could, you’ve proven where your heart is.”
The older stallion across from Astral began to sob, his head hanging as struggled to try and speak. Despite both Astral and Sassi’s efforts, Flask obviously was struggling to see himself as anything but another horrible creature of the Stairway Company.
“I’m…I don’t deserve this,” Flask cried. “To be happy. To be there with both of you. I’m not a good pony, not even close!”
“Okay, but are you trying to be better?” Astral asked with a shrug, Flask looking up at him in surprise. The earth pony nodded firmly as he wiped his eyes.
“Then you’re doing better than most. I don’t hate you, and Sassi certainly doesn’t.” He paused, expression softening. “Flask, whether or not you feel like you deserve it...look, your daughter wants you there.”
Flask managed to compose himself, eyes wide in genuine surprise.
“We’ve talked about what the ceremony would be like. Small, and simple.” Astral found the words catching in his throat, a warmth in his chest threatening to turn into tears. “Sassi wants her dad to be there for her when she gets married. Think you’ll be able to make it?”
Tears ran freely from the older stallion’s eyes. Flask got up and walked over to Astral. He held out a quivering hoof, Astral shaking it firmly.
“I’ll b-be there,” the earth pony said, struggling to stay composed. “And I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law, Astral. You have my blessing. And…” his words trailed off, Flask looking to the ground as he tried to prevent himself from crying again. “Thank you for making my daughter the happiest I’ve ever seen her,” He lifted his eyes, a genuine smile on his face. “I only ask that you continue to do so.”
“I promise. Thank you, Flask. Astral then wrapped the other stallion up in a warm hug, Flask letting out a choked laugh.
“Best. Day. Ever.”
Night had settled over Fillydelphia, and Sassi glided towards a large, residential home. It matched the occupants; minimalistic, and not too gaudy. The white home was lit on the outside with ornate lanterns, and a simple flag of the Night Guard flew in the yard.
This…would be interesting. From their brief interaction, Halberd Sentinel had been far more open than Edge, his wife. The Lieutenant had been, to say the least, extremely hostile towards Sassi when Astral had completely cut ties with them a few months ago.
And he had kept his word. Zero contact until Lieutenant Edge apologized for referring to Sassi as an “it.” It had hurt, but Astral had privately admitted not having any pressure to speak with them removed a massive weight from his life. They had no more influence; he had taken control.
She didn’t have high hopes, but the mare needed to try. Sassi knew she’d regret it forever if she didn’t give them a chance. And she had faced far more intimidating creatures.
Perhaps that’s another reason Edge also hates me. I’m not scared of her, and she has to earn my respect.
She landed, the minimalistic RASP armor on her frame having been buffed to a shine. This was one instance where having a sort of “uniform” would play in her favor.
With a final deep breath, the mare knocked and waited.
“Coming, coming. This early in the night?” a voice said.
The door opened, and a light-purple Thestral stared.
“Ah,” Halberd said with a blink. “Edge? Erm…”
“I’d like to speak with both of you. If you’re willing to listen,” Sassi said calmly.
“I don’t get surprised often,” Edge huffed, the dark violet mare trotting to the door. “So, congratulations on achieving that. What do you want?”
As pleasant as when we last talked.
“I’d like to speak with you about a very important matter regarding Astral if you’re willing to listen. Nothing more. I can say my brief piece, and leave. You’ll never see me again if you want.”
Edge paused, finally letting out a frustrated growl. She motioned for the armored mare to come inside. The Thestral gestured to the living room, the teal-painted home adorned with paraphernalia of all sorts. It was all related to the military of course. Medals, and ancient flags, but not in an overwhelming fashion.
In a different circumstance, Sassi would have found it fascinating.
Sitting on a plush carpet rather than the couch, Edge’s judging gaze scanned over Sassi as she did the same.
“Alright. What is it you want to say?” the Lieutenant huffed, Halberd staying silent.
“I’m here to inform you that I’m going to ask Astral to marry me. Well, assuming he doesn’t ask me first, which he probably will.”
Edge stared in utter shock, but Halberd’s lips curled up in the faintest of smiles.
“What?” the older mare hissed.
Sassi shrugged her wings casually, despite the venom in Edge’s tone.
“You deserve to know as his parents. I’m not asking for your blessing or permission, because even though I’d appreciate it, I doubt you’d ever give the former based on our last conversation. And, to be blunt, Lieutenant, I don’t need the latter.” Her words drew an angry growl from Edge at that.
“But as a fellow soldier and his parents, you should know. You deserve that professional courtesy.”
Edge’s anger visibly cooled. Not entirely, more like the blast from a volcano to a forest fire. But it did lessen.
“I...suspected this would happen,” she muttered. “With what you did to-”
“I didn’t do anything to him!” Sassi interrupted. “All I did was listen and love him! And the more I listened, the more I realized what an incredible stallion your son is! Do you think I intended to fall in love with your son?” The mare took a deep breath, cooling her nerves as best she could.
Edge stared at Sassi in shock. Whether due to being interrupted or Sassi’s words, she didn’t know.
“I hope this entire conversation isn’t because you’re pregnant,” Edge said almost bitterly. Her eyes widened as Sassi abruptly laughed.
“What? No! We aren’t ever going to have kids. Don’t want to, and thankfully, neither of us medically can, for multiple reasons. You already know that after the RASP modifications.”
“Not have kids? I suppose that’s something you convinced him to avoid as well? With that treatment and all? A nice side effect?”
The genuine sadness in Sassi’s eyes and demeanor seemed to surprise Edge even further as she shook her head.
“He did all of that to save me. I wouldn’t ever try to change his mind on something as important and personal like kids,” Sassi said softly, then lifting her gaze. "But he never wanted them either. He tried to tell you that, but you didn’t listen. We haven’t even slept together. I don’t know why you’re so focused on that. I’d never try to manipulate him in any way. Especially like that.”
She shook her head, sitting up a bit straighter.
“I just wanted to inform you of my intentions,” the mare continued firmly. “I just hope I can make your son as happy as he makes me. I don’t know if I can, because I’m far from perfect.” Despite Sassi’s best efforts, she heard her voice start to quiver with emotion. “But I’ll try my whole life to do so. I just want him to be happy. So, consider this my formal stating of intent to marry your son,” she looked up at Edge, an impassive mask on the mare’s face.
“I’m not asking to be friends. I’m simply stating it’d be nice to not be enemies,” Sassi said. “I’ve put my life on the line to protect Astral, and I’d do it again without hesitation. You’re a fellow soldier. However much of me did or didn’t come from a laboratory tube is irrelevant. The bonds that are forged in battle mean something. When the life of your friend is on the line, when the ones you love are threatened on the battlefield, fighting for that is something that can’t be broken. And I’ve fought many, many battles with your son.”
Sassi paused, her eyes narrowing slightly. “If you say that my words mean nothing, that the battles we have fought together are meaningless, I won’t believe you.”
She let out a breath. That was it. For the briefest moment, the mare thought that she saw a glint of respect in Edge’s eyes, a crack in the impassive expression.
“That’s all. You don’t have to like me or even think I’m a pony. You don’t have to ever accept me as a creature. I can live with that. I’ve lived with those types of creatures my entire life. I grew up with that mindset drilled into me as a foal. That I’m just an anomaly whose worth is measured in bits, and nothing else.” her words made Halberd physically recoil, and Edge’s anger seemed to have faded to an odd, masked indifference.
“But I’ll always be grateful for you raising Astral how you did. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Your son showed me what it’s like to be loved and valued outside of what I was created to be.”
She stood up, walking a few steps to the side.
“I’m sure I’ve interrupted your evening. I won’t keep you any longer.”
Halberd nodded, Edge then holding up a hoof.
“I’ll…walk our guest to the door,” she said, a nod to her husband a signal enough for him to meander off.
Odd.
Edge opened the door, Sassi calmly trotting out and spreading her wings to leave.
That went better than expected.
“Wait.”
The mare turned around, Edge appearing visibly uncomfortable. For the first time, the Thestral looked at Sassi with unease in her eyes, genuine worry. The stern demeanor was gone, the mare looking genuinely unsettled.
“Is…Astral doing okay?” Edge asked with a trembling whisper, not able to meet Sassi’s gaze. “He’s never refused to talk to us before like this. No notes. Nothing. But he looked troubled in those interviews, the few he appeared on. I know what trauma looks like. I could see it in his eyes. It’s bad, isn’t it?”
Sassi was frozen for a moment. The shell of the Lieutenant had cracked; a caring mother started to shine through, in her own way.
So, there is a good pony underneath all that fear.
“He’s still healing mentally and physically,” Sassi said calmly, measuring her words carefully. “But he has bad days. He’s not as hardened as you or I. He saw and went through things in that place which hurt him, badly. The nightmares and panic attacks are often severe, and he’s still physically healing in addition to psychologically.”
It was for a moment, but Sassi saw Edge’s eyes dampen ever so slightly.
“He’s a sensitive stallion, and he never lost that. That alone makes him a far stronger pony than anyone would initially assume. He’ll get through this, but it’s a long road. I just wish I could help him more. I just…” Sassi took a deep breath, setting her jaw. “But he’s doing ok.”
Turmoil was written across every aspect of Edge’s character. Her previously ramrod demeanor was slouched, and her expression was torn between that of genuine worry and a mask desperately struggling to stay in place.
Sassi thought Edge was simply going to stare at her until she flew off, but the older mare finally spoke.
“Thank you, Sassi,” Edge finally said, abruptly turning and walking inside.
As the Thestral flew away, the Lieutenant closed the door, sitting down in their entryway.
“Well, that was…” Halberd said, words trailing off to sit next to his wife. “Edge?”
“Am I a bad mother?”
The stallion’s eyes widened in shock, Edge looking at him with desperate sincerity.
“No,” he said firmly, the mare’s shoulders relaxing. “But I think we both fear what we can’t understand, and that has caused us to not look at what makes Astral happy. And while I don’t understand what Sassi is, I do understand that she cares a lot for our son. I do think we’ve made some serious mistakes,” the stallion took a breath, letting it out slowly. “We wanted what was best for Astral. But I think we got lost in what was best for us.”
“Astral is in trouble, Halberd,” Edge whispered, the previously stoic mare hanging her head as her shoulders began to shake. “Sassi told me as such. It’s so much worse than she said. I could see it in her eyes. Our son is in pain, and even that mare wants to help him! She wants him to be happy, to help him. But what are we doing?” she paused, eyes widening in genuine horror. “What am I doing?”
Halberd placed a caring hoof on Edge’s back, the mare leaning over to rest against his shoulder for a few moments.
“I…” she abruptly moved away, head shaking. “I need to think.”
As she retreated to her study, Halberd couldn’t resist a loving, knowing smile.
It's about time you two! 
And some very worn gears start to turn. Sometimes it takes someone a bit...
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Sometimes a little WD-40 works.. but sometimes, you really just need to hit them with a mallet. Or a hammer. Astral and Flask was sweet, but Sassi dealing with Astral's parents was a LONG time in coming, and nicely cathartic besides!
11809763
The goal is to show how Astral's parents aren't evil, they're just stuck in a mindset of "this worked for us and made us happy, therefore it is right for our kids." And breaking out of that can be a painful process.
11809802
Oh, absolutely. And that was on fine display here. Well done~
11809921
Thank you! I'm glad I nailed it!
11809989
You didn't just nail it, you got in a good example of accepting indifference. "I don't care what you think, but I'm doing this for him, and his sake. If you don't like me I can live with that, and I have. But I did it all, and would do it all again for him."
Did notice they didn't respond to her mentioning them both being sterile, or at least unable to conceive now, even if they did make an attempt. That's not a small thing. Even when (because I think it's a matter of time now) he patches up with his folks, he's not giving them grandchildren because he can't.
And last I remember of this discussion you said adoption is not on the table for the Elemental-sized lovers, since they're focusing on each other (makes sense, not gonna debate that) more than anything else.
But it's on a similar level to Samus Aran. She was given Chozo DNA to help her survive at an early age, and as a cross-breed she cannot bear children, something I believe she has considered at least once (not counting the unsubtle language aboard the Bottle Ship (fuck that place, seriously, BSL and ZDR did it better)), and is likely to consider before she retires.
It's not an easy discussion by any means but it's not something to overlook. They've not considered it as much, but that doesn't mean his parents won't, once they understand that (I'm not convinced they do yet), which will further help them understand what he wants in life once they do.
The cycle ends with him, whether they wanted it to or not. Not just the line, but the generational trauma with it. (In exchange he deals with his own personal trauma! Yay! (Boo. (But Sassi's there for him, so...)))
11810084
Exactly.
It was already mentioned to them when first meeting- they just blew it off/didn't believe her. Just another manipulative fact about her (same as not believing Astral's view.) Since it had been mentioned, that was a slight oversight on my part- basically it just amounted to them not believing her. But it can certainly come up as an issue later. (I added a bit of a blurb to clarify that!)
It's going to be amusing to see who wins in this contest of "The First Proposal". Astral appears to have the upper hoof in preparation but Sassi is not one to count out.
I was pleasantly surprised with how the initial conversation and the private one between Sassi and Edge went. It was far better than I expected at this point in time, especially since I had anticipated that it would take Equestria witnessing for themselves the horror that Sassi and Astral endured for them to start to come around. It may still be awhile yet before reconciliation happens but things are moving in the right direction for that. For now, it's good to see that the care and concern is there for Astral and I would think that he would be at least a bit happy to hear that (if he didn't already from her thoughts with that hive mind they've got going that I forgot about for a brief second).
11811223
So, they are sterile, or are they? dun dun duuun! Doubtless they are sterile with other ponies, but given they've both been, um, modified, who knows with each other? Well, okay, the author does, but there's no need to spoil the surprise, if there is one...
11817728
Oh, they're very sterile. No surprises in that regard. Neither Astral or Sassi want kids, nor can they have them. It's just denial by the parents.