Chapter 1: The New Kid
Sunset snuggled comfortably in her bed, sinking her head into the soft mattress. Her blanket slowly rose and fell, her steady breath the only noise in the room.
Her room was large but empty. A bed, desk, nightstand and bookshelf were all the furniture she had. Scrolls and quills were scattered on her desk and floor alongside stacks of books; her nightstand had a few picture frames that were face down. Even in all the mess, the unicorn slept soundly.
A few quiet taps from the door echoed throughout the room.
“Sunset, it’s time for school.”
Groaning, Sunset rolled over. “Ten more minutes mom…” she mumbled before drifting back into wondrous slumber.
Stifling a giggle, the door flung open. Sunlight illuminated parts of the room, a tall shadow cast in the doorway.
“How could you still be sleeping on such a lovely morning?” Celestia hummed, walking into the room. Closing the door behind her, Celestia stood over to the now awakened Sunset. “Why good morning Sunset.”
“Mornin’,” Sunset grumbled, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “Now, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“As I said earlier, it’s time for you to head to school,” Celestia said with a smile.
Sunset snorted. “Very funny Celestia. I’m going back to sleep,” she said as she threw a blanket over herself. However, just before she landed, a yellow magical aura surrounded her, lifting her into the air.
“I don’t think so,” Celestia frowned. “You’re already nearing the limit of missed days, and the school year barely started.”
Sunset struggled and struggled, but wasn’t able to escape Celestia’s magic and eventually gave up. Seeing that she calmed down, Celestia placed her down gently back on the bed with a grin.
“I just don’t understand why I have to go to school when I already know everything they teach!” Sunset huffed.
“There are reasons for everything, Sunset,” Celestia winked. “You just have to find them.”
Sunset deadpanned. “I don’t want to hear your abstract mumbo-jumbo right now.”
“Have a wonderful day at school,” Celestia simply replied before exiting the room and leaving Sunset alone.
“Have a wonderful day at school,” Sunset mocked quietly.
“I heard that,” Celestia chirped.
“I hate her sometimes.”
After getting cleaned up, Sunset started her journey to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. The only thing she enjoyed about school was the walk there, mainly because of the scenery along the way. A variety of flowers and greenery surrounded the path to school, all well kept by the city.
Unfortunately, Sunset shortly arrived in front of the deserted gates of Celestia’s school. The two guards stationed in front of the school greeted Sunset as she walked through.
The hallways of the school were just like the front gates, empty. However, their muffled chatter could be heard throughout the hallways. Students were already seated in their respective classes, ready to start their day of learning.
Entering her classroom, she was greeted with silence and stares.
“How wonderful of you to join us, Sunset,” Crystal Clear sarcastically remarked, clearly unamused.
Sunset scoffed. “Trust me, I don’t want to be here.”
“Just take your seat,” Crystal Clear sighed before returning to her lecture.
Taking her seat, Sunset got comfortable. Laying her head down and closing her eyes, she was ready to catch some z’s.
“You’re not supposed to be sleeping in class,” a small voice said.
“Uh huh…” Sunset grumbled.
Just a few seconds later, she felt a slight nudge. Opening her eyes, she saw a very young, purple filly. She was just mere inches away from her face, obviously the culprit of the nudge.
“You’re going to get in trouble if the teacher sees you sleeping.”
Sitting up, Sunset cocked an eyebrow at the filly. “Who are you?”
“My name is Twilight Sparkle.”
“And why exactly do you care if I get in trouble?”
“It’s not that I care, but rather I was just informing you that there is a possibility of you getting in trouble,” Twilight said. “Also, you’re missing out on learning material if you sleep in class, thus causing you to fall behind and fail.”
Rolling her eyes, Sunset snorted. “Thank you for your insight, but I already know everything we’re learning right now. Now stop bothering me and let me sleep.” Laying her head back down, she faced away from Twilight.
“I highly doubt you know everything, but I will let you do as you please,” Twilight said with a frown.
Class continued on and it all seemed like a daze to Sunset. Before she knew it, the lunch bell rang, waking her up from her nap. The halls were suddenly filled with chatter as the students made their way towards the cafeteria. Just as Sunset was about to leave the classroom, she overheard the teacher.
“Twilight, remember to see me after school,” Crystal Clear said, narrowing her eyes at the filly.
“Yes ma’am,” she replied in a quiet, dejected tone.
Sunset stood outside the door, waiting for Twilight to walk out. A few moments later, she slowly walked out with a downcast head.
Sunset slightly chuckled. “Yikes, what did you do?”
Twilight stopped in her tracks, looking up at Sunset. Her eyes were glossy and her lips were slightly quivering. Sniffling, she wiped her eyes.
“N-Nothing…”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “It’s obviously not nothing if you’re about to bawl your eyes out.”
Twilight frowned, sniffling again. “Why do you care?”
“To be honest, I don’t care,” Sunset said. “It’s just that when somepony’s crying at school, it’s interesting and I like interesting things, so…”
“You sound evil.”
“I get that a lot,” Sunset shrugged. “So why are you crying?”
Twilight paused hesitantly. Sniffling once more, she hung her head. “Ms. Clear caught me reading a bad book…”
“That book being?” Sunset ushered, slightly more interested.
“Archaic Casting: Dark Magic Edition,” Twilight mumbled.
“What was that?”
“Archaic Casting: Dark Magic Edition,” Twilight repeated, slightly louder.
Sunset’s eye twitched slightly, frowning. “A little louder, please.”
“I was reading Archaic Casting: Dark Magic Edition!”
Sunset’s face lit slightly up. “That’s… actually kind of cool. Did you understand any of it?”
“I understood all of it,” Twilight weakly smiled. “The content wasn’t that difficult, I just had trouble understanding why anypony would want to raise the dead.”
“I couldn’t tell you,” Sunset chuckled. “And just so you know, I think it’s cool you can understand something like this at your age. You remind me of, well, myself.”
“Thanks,” Twilight’s smile grew. “What’s your name? I never got it.”
“Well you better remember it,” Sunset smirked, sticking out her hoof. “I’m Sunset Shimmer, Celestia’s personal student, nice to meet you.”
Shaking her hoof, Twilight smiled sheepishly. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, Celestia’s protege. Though I think you know that already.”
Sunset stood there, still shaking the filly’s hoof, registering what she just said. After a few moments, it finally clicked. Eyes slightly widened, Sunset stared at Twilight.
“Wait, you’re the pony Celestia was talking about?”
Twilight tilted her head slightly. “Uh, I think so?”
“So you’re the twerp I have to look after?” Sunset smirked, examining Twilight closely. “I think we’ll get along just fine then.”
“I am not a twerp!” Twilight pouted. “And what do you mean take care of me? That’s why my parents and brother do.”
“Long story short, Celestia wants me to babysit you.”
“Babysit me? I don’t need a babysitter, I’m a grown pony!” Twilight huffed.
“Uh huh…”
“I see you two met each other already,” a regal voice said. Twilight and Sunset look towards the source of the voice. Walking towards them was none other than Princess Celestia. Students were staring at her with love and admiration.
“Celestia, what are you doing here?” Sunset asked as she got closer.
“This is my school, Sunset,” Celestia chuckled. “Do I need a reason to be here?”
Sunset shrugged. “Fair point.”
“Your Highness,” Twilight said before bowing.
“Twilight, no need for the formalities right now,” Celestia said, causing Twilight to rise.
Sunset nodded. “You still didn’t answer my question though.”
“I guess I did have a reason for my visit today. I came here to introduce you two to one another, but I’m glad to see you two are already acquainted.”
“Sunset and I were just talking about raising the dead!” Twilight grinned.
“Oh, were you now? Celestia slyly smiled at Sunset. “That sounds quite interesting, do tell me more.”
“Twilight was caught reading Archaic Casting: Dark Magic Edition in class and I guess that kind of just sparked the conversation,” Sunset summarized.
Celestia shook her head, smiling. “Twilight, your thirst for knowledge knows no bounds.”
“Sorry…” Twilight hung her head.
“It’s alright Twilight,” Celestia tilted Twilight’s head up by the chin. “Knowledge is power after all.”
“Okay!” Twilight lit up at Celestia’s encouragement.
“And speaking of knowledge, I just know you’re both ready for your lessons.”
Sunset’s brows slightly furrowed. “Wait, we’re having joint lessons? You never told me anything about that!”
“Surprise,” Celestia simply said. “I believe Twilight will be able to keep up with our lessons, so I don’t see any reason for me to separate them.”
“Let’s see if she can,” Sunset grumbled, turning her back on the two and making her way towards the cafeteria.
The rest of the day went by as usual. Sunset slept through the majority of the day, occasionally being bugged by Twilight because of that. The two walked back to the castle together to attend their joint-lessons, which Sunset was not too happy about.
Arriving at the largest garden of the Canterlot Castle, the two spotted Celestia in the middle of a grassy field.
“You two are early,” Celestia greeted them with a warm smile.
Sunset grinned back. “I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”
“Me too!” Twilight nodded quickly.
“I’m overjoyed to hear that,” Celestia said. “We’ll start today with magic control and regulation. Now can one of you explain what that is?”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Pfft, easy. Magic control is the ability to control the physical form of magic such as redirecting a magic bolt while magic regulation is the ability to move the magic freely throughout your body. Basically, one is external and one is internal.”
“Very good Sunset,” Celestia nodded contently. “Anything to add on, Twilight?”
Twilight rubbed her chin. “I think magic regulation is much harder to master but is necessary to become a great mage.”
“It’s not just necessary to become a great mage, it’s essential to use magic,” Celestia explained. “Without being able to regulate your magical power, you won’t be able to use it at all; and if your regulation is poor, then the spell could possibly backfire, injuring yourself or the ponies around you.”
“I’m guessing that’s what we’re doing then?” Sunset asked.
Celestia nodded. “We’ll be practicing magic regulation for the majority, if not this whole lesson. I’ll explain and demonstrate it first, then you two can have a go at it.”
The two students walked a few steps back, giving Celestia some space.
“The first thing you want to do is imagine the magic that is already inside of you. Imagine it coursing through your body, from top to bottom,” Celestia said, motioning to her hooves and then to her horn. “You want your magic to flow through your body naturally and smoothly. Think of it as a river flowing to and from the ocean.”
“Once you’re able to recognize the magic inside of you, you’re ready to move onto the next step,” Celestia continued, her horn suddenly glowing yellow. “You want to redirect some of your magic, though not forcefully, to your horn.”
“It’s easier to do all this when you’re calm and collected. If you’re panicking, then your spell is more likely to fizzle out.”
Twilight and Sunset watched as Celestia’s horn grew brighter and brighter.
“Then when you have enough magic for whatever spell you’re using, you can release as you please,” Celestia said as she shot several small beams into the air, her horn slowly dimming. “Whether you want to release it little by little or all at once is up to you.”
The two were still looking up at the beams which were soaring upwards.
Celestia smiled at the display. “Who wants to go first?
“Me!” Sunset raised her hoof, beating the now pouting Twilight by mere milliseconds.
“I’m glad you’re both so enthusiastic,” Celestia chuckled. “Alright Sunset, you’re up first. Just remember to be patient and calm.”
Spacing herself from the two, Sunset firmly planted herself into the grass. Closing her eyes and slowing her breaths, she stood there silently, imaging the magic deep inside of her. Just a few moments later, a small smile appeared on her face as her horn began to slowly brighten.
“Very good Sunset. Slowly and carefully direct all the magic you want to use to your horn,” Celestia instructed.
Sunset took another deep breath, focusing on just her horn. Her mind was clear, devoid of any thought. All she was focused on was her magic and her horn. Droplets of sweat formed on Sunset’s forehead as her horn grew brighter. Soon enough Sunset’s horn glowed brighter and brighter, the beautiful red illuminating the field.
Opening her eyes, her focus wavered slightly, causing the sparks to grow more sporadic. Sunset grunted as she fought for control of her horn. Minutes passed and the sparks slowly died down, Sunset sighing in relief.
“Well done,” Celestia nodded in approval. “Now release it as you please.”
Sunset nodded back, already knowing what she wanted to do. With a quick cast, she blasted a laser upwards, illuminating the sky with a red light and creating a breathtaking light show. Shooting out the rest of the laser, her horn fizzled out. Panting, she fell backwards onto the grass.
“That was so cool!” Twilight chirped, standing over Sunset. “You’re amazing!”
Sunset smirked, her eyes closed. “Heh, I know.”
“Indeed, you truly were amazing,” Celestia praised. “You were able to regain your composure beautifully.”
Sitting up, Sunset looked up to Celestia, rubbing the back of her neck. “That was way harder than I expected.”
“It’ll only get harder from here,” Celestia warned. “Are you still sure you want to speed things up?”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Of course I am.”
“Glad to hear it,” Celestia smiled. “Now Twilight, it’s your turn.”
“O-Okay!” Twilight stuttered, spacing herself from the two.
Setting up in a similar fashion to Sunset, Twilight closed her eyes. In just a few seconds, Twilight’s horn was already glowing pink. It grew brighter by the second with very few sparks flying out, even when she opened her eyes.
“Beautifully done,” Celestia said. “How do you feel, Twilight?”
“I’m fine,” Twilight replied.
Sunset sat there, mouth slightly open. “Wha…”
Celestia’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as the minutes ticked by. A huge pink ball of magic sat on top of Twilight’s horn. She had yet to release the magic she was building up, and it didn’t seem like she’d be done soon. Sunset, on the other hoof, was biting her lip as she watched the filly.
“I think that’s enough, Twilight,” Celestia finally said. “I think it’s best to release it all at once here.”
“Okay,” Twilight said, aiming her horn up into the sky. Blasting a pink ball of magic into the sky, it became smaller and smaller till you couldn’t see it.
“I think it fizzled out,” Sunset smirked at Twilight. “That means I’m the winn-”
A deafening explosion followed by a blinding light sent shockwaves throughout the garden. A gust flew past them, almost lifting them into the air. Celestia quickly put a barrier to prevent the two from flying away. Unfortunately, their surroundings weren’t as fortunate as them. Trees and bushes were uprooted, leaves and branches flying everywhere. Patches of grass and dirt were launched far away alongside some rocks.
Soon enough, it died down. Releasing the barrier, Celestia sighed and looked down at Twilight. She was sheepishly smiling up at her, a nervous sweat drop on her forehead.
Twilight bit her lip. “You’re not mad, are you?”
“No, Twilight, I am not mad,” Celestia sighed. “Just a bit surprised.”
Shaking herself out of her daze, Sunset stared at Twilight with wide eyes. “What the hay was that?!” she shouted.
Twilight recoiled slightly, hiding herself behind Celestia’s tall figure.
Celestia frowned. “Sunset, there’s no need to yell. You’re scaring her.”
“Celestia, she basically blew apart the courtyard and that’s all you have to say?” Sunset continued to yell. “Like how is that even remotely possible? She’s just a kid!” she finished, pointing at Twilight.
“Sunset,” Celestia’s frown deepened. “Just because she’s a child does not make her any less capable of things like this. You for one should know that.”
Sniffling, Twilight cowered deeper behind Celestia. Hugging Celestia’s hind leg tightly, teary-eyed, she looked at Sunset.
Sunset was at a loss of words as she looked back at the filly. All kinds of emotions were jumbled up inside of her after what she just witnessed. She just couldn’t understand it at all. Letting out a frustrated shout, she stomped out of the garden towards her room.
“D-Did I make her angry?” Twilight stuttered.
Celestia shook her head, sighing deeply. “There’s no need to worry about her Twilight, it’s not your fault. She’s just having a hard time processing some things.”
“Did she not understand the lesson?” Twilight asked, slightly tilting her head.
“That’s not it,” Celestia weakly laughed, running her hoof through Twilight’s mane. “I’m sorry to say this but I think we’ll have to wrap up our lessons for today.”
“Okay,” Twilight nodded slowly. “Are you going to talk to Sunset?”
Celestia nodded, smiling down at Twilight. “Let’s go find your brother first though.”
Well there's the first chapter. I don't really have much to say besides that I like the way this chapter turned out for the most part. Some parts seemed a little too fast paced but maybe that's just me.
If there's anything you think I could improve on or change, please let me know. Any constructive criticism is welcome! Let me know what you all thought of it as well! 
See you in the next chapter. Ciao!
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So comparing this story to the previous incarnation, what parts of the story do you plan to keep? Are the school duels going to stay?
This re-write chapter is great, I LIKE IT! I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Hope to see more of your re-write chapters and remember: Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, and dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. Here's a song that will make you unstoppable. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/h3h035Eyz5A
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The duels were one of my favorite things to write, so I do plan to add them back eventually! Hopefully I’ll be able to hash them out a bit more, expanding on the merits and social consequences it could have. I also plan to add some an actual conflict (slowly building up to it of course!) while still keeping some chapters a little more light hearted.
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I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far.
Thank you very much!
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You're welcome
Is Spike going to be in this re-written version?
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Can’t forget our favorite dragon! 
Yes of course!
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Yay
I dunno if I just missed it or something, but just curious as to why the rewrite?
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Neeevermind. It was at the *bottom* of the first part. Kinda was looking for a blog or for it at the top. My bad.
I did enjoy these two chapters! I do remember trying to read the original but stopping bc of the bad grammar mistakes, and I'm glad to see a lot more polish on the rewrite. The story itself definitely seems like it's going to be interesting.
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That’s something I wanted to fix here, so I’ll be trying my best to catch all of them!
Haha there were a lot of grammar mistakes in the old one
I'm pretty sure you mean hoof here.
Whew, the adorbs are strong with tis story. My Hnnnng will probably escape at high velocity at some point while reading this.
🥰
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So far, so good. I do hear you on the pacing issue too. I've struggled with that myself.
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I was going through again and fixed it a few moments before reading your comment. I plan to have a decent amount of cute moments so better be prepared!
Haha yeah I did
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I figured there was more cute on that way so I am ready. It's one of the main reasons I came to this story in the first place.
Ahh making Twilight leagues stronger than Sunset are we? That's going to be a big hurdle for Sunny to overcome, she's been the smartest and strongest unicorn for all her life. Meeting a stronger Unicorn that is just a kid? Major ego blow. Also yea the "Watching Twilight causally cause mass destruction" thing is scary, though expected when you use the "Twilight Sparkle is OP" trope. Also keep in mind my pointing out your using a trope is not a criticism, tropes are tools for story telling and "OP character" is a good one when used right and so far your doing that.
lovely, i am surprised Twilight didn't break a sweat from this