Speak Not Of The End Of The World

by Shaslan

Reaching 2

“I’m 28 today.” The words fell out of her tongue like water from a dripping faucet. Strawberry Sunrise leaned as far back as the capsule’s command seat would let her and sighed quietly. The console offered her no reply. Reaching up, she stripped off her helmet and took out her earpiece.

Mission Control had fallen silent fifteen minutes ago. She knew that they wouldn’t be contacting her again. From here on out, she was on her own. Outside the window ahead of her was the sun: a big yellow and orange ball, flickering like an image on a bad TV set.

Strawberry stared at it. She could feel it staring back.

The sun. That stupid goddamned sun. That sun that had taken so much from her, that had turned the world she loved to ash, to dust. It was all gone now: as empty as the space around her. The console let out a timid beep.

Strawberry’s eyes flicked to it with disinterest. The minor, precise adjustments she had been instructed to make wouldn’t matter. Precision wouldn’t matter for what she was about to do. “It takes more skill than you’ve got to miss the sun,” she mused, smiling at the memory.

The sun flickered, almost as if it recognized her incoming presence. The distant stars winked and shimmered, filling the void with specks of light. It all made her feel very small and insignificant. And in a way she was.

She eased the throttle forwards, feeling the engines fire from behind her as the craft lurched forwards. A low hum filled the cabin: one that was quieter than the air conditioning unit that kept her company deep into the long, sleepless nights that plagued her.

Dreams. Thoughts. Memories. Echos. Names. They all didn’t matter in the end. Everything faded away just as fast, no matter how important. It was pointless now to try and hold on.

Strawberry reached up to flick a switch. With nothing left to do but wait she slumped back, staring straight into the sun. Equestria was somewhere behind her now, she couldn’t see it even if she tried craning her head.

But she didn’t. What would the point be? She may have lived there, but the truth was that she had left its earth long ago. A few stray thoughts slipped through her mind, tinges of feeling and emotion. Memories of things that had already happened.

A hotel room, a strawberry martini, a boomerang. A beat up car, a movie, a juicebox.

Blossomforth. Redheart. Cheerilee. Cherry Berry. Her mother.

I just don’t know what went wrong.

A photograph was sitting taped to the dashboard, the only thing she had taken with her from the station. It was the one of her friends and Blossomforth’s car. Strawberry put a hoof on it tenderly, and the very touch triggered a dozen more memories.

It was getting bright as the sun grew closer and closer. She couldn't see it, but she knew it was there. Waiting for her. Strawberry pulled down her visor and space became even darker. She shifted the throttle and the craft picked up speed. So too did the memories flying past her.

And then, Strawberry was everywhere.

She was in the space craft’s hangar bay, hugging Cheerilee tightly. She was in the bathroom of her dorm on the station, screaming and punching the sink until her hoof was bloody.

“What made you do it?” asked the nonexistent reporter in the empty pressroom.

Strawberry laughed. “What didn’t?” There was an invisible flash from an invisible camera.

She was standing on the lawn of her childhood house, staring at the ghost of Cherry, the two of them laughing until they cried.

She was sleeping beside Cheerilee in her hotel room, unable to decide if she wished Cherry was there instead.

Catching a boomerang on the hill. Floating in an empty white room. Watching her friends cease to exist on television. Dancing in a nightclub as red and blue lights fell across her face like rain. Speeding too fast through a parking lot, in a car that was falling apart. Laying on her bedroom floor, staring at traces of the afternoon splayed across her bedroom wall. Standing on the top of the stairs, looking down at herself as a child.

Strawberry let it all slip away without even trying to hold on to any of it. She was not a hero. Nobody would call her one. But that was okay. The world would never save her anyways, why would she ever bother trying to save it?

“I’m not quite sure what went wrong! I’m not quite sure what went wrong!”

The ship beeped in alarm, but Strawberry ignored it.

Faster and faster and faster, she throttled towards the sun’s surface. The heat was overwhelming, the light too much for her visor. Strawberry wasn’t bothered. She was who she was, until she wasn’t: and in that moment, she ceased becoming Strawberry Sunrise.

She became nothing.

With that final thought, her world flashed white as a vague shape appeared before her. She paid it no mind.

She reached up towards the stars and…

Comments

[Bicyclette]

“I’m 28 today.”

wish i could say same

The sun. That stupid goddamned sun. That sun that had taken so much from her, that had turned the world she loved to ash, to dust. It was all gone now: as empty as the space around her. The console let out a timid beep.

oof, definitely a solid reason to hate the sun

Faster and faster and faster, she throttled towards the sun’s surface. The heat was overwhelming, the light too much for her visor. Strawberry wasn’t bothered. She was who she was, until she wasn’t: and in that moment, she ceased becoming Strawberry Sunrise.

She became nothing.

and oof. of course her life would flash before her eyes right before this moment, and beautifully so