Our Days are Bright

by penelopunch

An Earth Pony with Wings

I don’t want to be here…

I look up at all of the other young pegasi joyfully flying through a set of rings molded out of clouds. Young pegasi attending this year’s Summer Flight Camp, and who are going to be watching my— no, judging my attempts to fly in the same manner fairly soon.

I don’t want to be here…

I shake my head and look down at my hooves, only to be hit with an intense sense of vertigo as I realize that I had meandered a bit too close to the edge of the cloud. The ground is right below me, and it is very, very, very far down. My stomach churns and I fall backwards with a yelp, my own hooves failing me.

I really, really, really don’t want to be here…

I shut my eyes tight and hold them closed until my breathing and rapid heartbeat begin to calm. Once the near-panic attack passes, I crack open my eyes. All at once I notice two girls from school looking at me and giggling. My face adopts a deep shade of shame as I pick myself back up onto my hooves and trot in the other direction.

If there’s anything my time growing up in Cloudsdale has taught me, it’s that I am not a strong flier. If not for the fact that I have wings on my back and the fact that I’m not currently falling through the cloud that I’m pacing around on top of, I wouldn’t even really consider myself a pegasus. I mean, it’s not like I’ve met other kinds of ponies before, but that’s what everyone else in school says about me. “An earth pony with wings” they’ll often say, and I don’t dispute them. What else would you call a pegasus who’s afraid of heights?

“Pathetic, that’s what,” I whisper to myself in mock conversation. “A pathetic excuse for a pegasus with dumb anxiety, dumb wings that don’t work, a dumb personality, a dumb face and a dumb body that’s too big!”

Tears cloud my vision now as my voice rises from a whisper. I just feel anger. Anger and resentment over my… nothing. Everything! Oh… I don’t know what, but it’s infuriating!

“...maybe I should just go ho—OOF!” landing hard on my rear end, I realized that I had accidentally bumped into another pony. It’s a girl just a bit shorter than me, with a cutiemark-less blue coat and a… rainbow mane? Huh. Shaking my head, I pick myself up and mutter a weak “Sorry…” in the hopes that would please her enough to not harass me over the incident.

“Eh, don’t sweat it,” she says in a voice harsh with change, indicating that she’s probably about the same age as me despite the size difference. “Just make sure to pay better attention next ti—” she cuts herself off as she turns fully towards me. “Woah. You’re tall.”

I nod in reply.

“...and a boy?” she ponders quizzically. “Wasn’t expecting that. Your voice was so quiet I could barely hear you. Don’t know any boys that don’t like to shout over me.”

Taking a second longer than last time, I nod again. “Um… yes?” I dig my hooves into the cloud we’re standing on in an attempt to dispel my discomfort.

She breaks out into a wide grin. “That’s cool! I like ponies that try to keep things different. Who wants to be the same as everyone else? Totally boring.” she says with a laugh. “I’m Rainbow Dash, by the way. What’s your name?”

Yeah, totally boring… I think to myself as I awkwardly bump my hoof against the one she held out towards me. “Um, it’s nice to meet you Rainbow Dash. My name is—” I’m suddenly cut off by the sound of a loud whistle being blown. Rainbow Dash gets an excited look on her face at the noise.

“Yes! Flight practice time!” she says as she beats her wings and begins to lift off the cloud. “If you weren’t flying the course just now then we must be in the same group for it. Come on, I’ll race ya up there!”

Her energy is infectious, dispelling the worry and doubt that was at the forefront of my mind just a minute ago. Without thinking I unfurl my wings and get ready to take flight.

Taking a deep breath, I beat my wings several times with as much force as I can muster. It’s a struggle, yet I manage to actually lift off the cloud! I gasp in surprise and look over towards Rainbow Dash, only she’s no longer where she just was.

In the time it took me to simply lift off the cloud she’s already made it most of the way up to the course. She’s fast. Really fast. I trail after her in shock, and arrive about a minute after she herself touched down. She gives me a puzzled look. “Uh… you did hear me say that was a race, right?”

I nod, a grin plastered to my face. It might not be the most appropriate reaction, but I still feel proud of myself for what I was able to accomplish just now.

“OK, because I was worried I might have just flown off in a rush without having actually said with my mouth what I wanted to say with my brain. My mom says I do that a lot,” Rainbow’s wings fidget as she speaks. “Anyway! You obviously need to practice more than I do, so I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll find you later after practice so we can hang out! See ya!”

She gives me another awkward hoof bump before flying off to a more difficult section of the course.

I sigh and look at the first ring floating in front of me. I’m actually here now, and ponies are going to know if I can’t perform as well as everyone else. Yet, for some reason that thought doesn’t bother me as much as it should. Perhaps that’s due to Rainbow’s infectious energy still working its way out of my system, but I decide to let the positive thoughts flow.

Why shouldn’t I want to improve myself? I think proudly. Everyone starts everything at a different skill level. Even if mine’s a bit lower than the others that doesn’t mean I can’t improve! It doesn’t mean that I have to stick with all the things I dislike about myself!

Preparing myself, I lift off the cloud and float up towards the ring.

---

It always turns out like this…

Shortly after my pathetic and failed attempt to fly the course I find myself grounded and wrapped up tight in one of the camp’s various flags, having been stripped from its pole by a clumsy earth pony who dared to dream it could be anything but.

The two pegasi who I happened to land rather ungracefully next to still haven’t let up their verbal assault at my expense, although I started to tune them out a while ago. It’s the same as every other time: tune them out and don’t retaliate ever. Eventually they’ll get bored and leave me alone until the next day when the process repeats itself.

I wrap myself tighter in the flag and push my head further down into the cloud. Any attempt I can make to pretend I’m not in my current situation is a welcome one.

Just breathe. Keep breathing and it’ll be over soon. Keep breathing and then you can pick yourself back up and go home. That’s for the best. Flying is for pegasi, not— Wait, why do I hear Rainbow Dash’s voice?

“You think you’re such a big shot? Why don’t you prove it?” tuning back into the world outside of my head, it seems the boys who were making fun of me have had their attention drawn towards something else.

“What do ya have in mind?” comes the energetic reply of the brash young pegasus I just parted ways with. Ah. That makes sense. I’ve only known her a short while but I’ve learned that Rainbow Dash is very good at capturing other ponies’ attention. Why is she here, though?

“A race! Something even you could beat us in,” the second of the bullies snorted out in reply. “That is if you can even make it to the finish line! Eh, Rainbow Crash?”

“Oh, you are so on. Better call your moms to come pick you up from camp now! I doubt they’ll be able to understand you through all your blubbering after I kick your flanks!” Rainbow shoots back. She gave just as adversarial of an answer as I was expecting from her.

She’s not scared to fight back at all…

“Fine! Meet us out behind the cabins as soon as practice ends. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure everyone else will be right there in the audience to watch you crash and burn,” the first bully promises before I feel the cloud shift, their weight lifting off of it.

I sigh in relief as the verbal assault seems to have well-and-truly stopped. I keep myself bundled up in the flag and buried in the cloud until my breathing calms. That was the plan, at least. A sharp tug on my tail lifts me up out of the cloud and back onto my rear end. A second later and I’m face-to-face with a frustrated Rainbow Dash.

“What the heck was that? I left you alone for like 30 seconds! What even happened?” she questions as she begins to unwrap me from the flag. There’s clear frustration in her voice as she raises it at me. Frustration and worry, and I don’t know which is worse.

Once I’m fully unwrapped and there’s nothing hiding me away from the rest of the world she sits back down, staring me down with narrowed eyes.

“I, um… my hoof hit the…” I try to explain, but my voice comes out much shakier than I had intended it. I close my mouth and turn my head away, hoping that much would be enough to appease her.

“Dude, that doesn’t explain anything!” she shouts at me, frustration winning out over worry.

“I don’t—” the words catch in my throat, but I choke them out with a sob. A sob. I’m crying. Weeping. Waves of warm tears run down my cheeks as my mind races with a million thoughts, some invisible dam having burst with the realization that Rainbow Dash was mad at me.

“I d-don’t… it’s not fair, Rainbow! I don’t know why they were doing that to me!” I shout as I turn on her.

“Woah!” Rainbow Dash steps back in shock. I match it with my own step forward. “H-hey it’s O—”

“No, it’s not OK!” I shout over her. “They were making fun of me! Everyone’s a-always making fun of me! I don’t get it! I’m not trying to be different from them! I don’t want to be different from them! I want to fly t-too!”

I’m not used to raising my voice this much, and I’m starting to sound hoarse. It’s all too much, but I’m not sure that I can stop it. I’m not sure that I want to. I try to voice all the thoughts in my head as they surface, but there’s just too many of them.

“I’m a pegasus, aren’t I?” Do I look like an earth pony to you? “I’m trying! D-despite everything!” The worst of it happens at school. “No one helps me! No one cares!” You helped me. “I barely know you!” I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this to you. “I w-want to go back home.” The only ponies I have to disappoint there are my parents. “I tried… I really tried this time…” I’m exhausted. “M-my hoof hit the ring. The very f-first ring!” You’re a really talented flier, Rainbow. “I couldn’t stop tumbling.” You’re so good at standing up for yourself, Rainbow. “I hit the flag on the way back down.” You’re so lucky, Rainbow. “My body’s too big…”

My voice peters out, and I collapse back onto the cloud with silent sobs. As my racing mind begins to slow I’m left with a single agonizing thought: Rainbow probably thinks I’m a freak now.

As if to confirm my suspicions, she doesn’t say anything for a while. I shut my eyes and try once again to control my breathing. I’m not having much luck.

“You’re right, that isn’t fair!”

Huh?

I pluck my messy face from my hooves and look up at her. “W-what was that?” I ask, my voice grating against my throat.

“I said that you’re right! It’s not fair that they’re making fun of you just cause you’re not the strongest flier!” Rainbow Dash exclaims with her chest. “I used to get bullied like that back before I figured out I could do something about it. I realize not everyone can do something about it, though, and it obviously hurts you a lot when it happens. I’m glad I stepped in to send them packing.”

My mind is having trouble processing what she’s saying. “So you’re not… mad at me?” I ask.

“Nah, I’m not,” she waves off my worry with a hoof. “Don’t worry about blowing up like that, I can handle it. It didn’t really seem directed at me anyway.”

“It kind of was…” I whisper to myself.

“Did you say something?” she questions, moving in closer.

“Oh! Uh... no, I didn’t,” I reply, shaking my head. It doesn’t feel great to lie to Rainbow, but I really don’t want her to know what all I was thinking during my outburst. I’m not sure she’d understand.

“Oh, OK. Anyway, it was probably good that what happened just now happened. You feel better now, yeah? Lighter?” she asks in a way that’s less of a question and more of a statement.

“I, um…” I think for a second as my tears start to dry up. She’s right! I do feel lighter. Like there’s less of a… well, everything about my life that was holding me down before. I can tell that those things are all still there, but they don’t feel as oppressive as they did a few minutes ago. “Yes, I think so…”

“Awesome! Crying isn’t cool, but I do always feel better after it happens,” she says, flashing me her typical toothy grin.

I stand up and start to wipe the remaining tears from my eyes. “I don’t cry often… I mean, I want to sometimes but I usually just… can’t. I don’t know why I just did that.”

“I know why. It’s because those guys are jerks! And all those other ponies you were talking about who made fun of you are jerks too! Jerks make other ponies cry cause they think it’ll make themselves feel better,” she states matter-of-factly. “But you’re not a jerk. You’re cool! Cooler and more awesome than they could ever hope to be!”

I’m not sure if I’m all that…

“And I’m proud to call you my friend!”

Wait, what?

Rainbow Dash quickly darts next to me and places a hoof on my shoulder. “With you by my side we’re like the two coolest ponies in Cloudsdale! No, in all of Equestria!”

I shrug her hoof off and take a couple of off-balance steps away. A thoughtless protest escapes my lips. “I don’t— That’s not—”

“What’s the problem?” Rainbow questions innocently.

I swallow the growing lump of anxiety in my throat. “I, uh, I don’t think that I would be a very good friend,” I say, instinctively unfurling my wings as I'm hit with a sudden desire to flee.

“Well, why not? You seem like a good friend to me,” comes her retort. Baseless, especially since I just blew up at her for no good reason.

“I’m just not good at anything! I’ve never been someone’s friend before, either, and I doubt that’d go any different!” my voice is harsher than I meant it to sound.

“Who cares!” Rainbow Dash fires back. “I’m telling you right now that I think you’d be a good friend, so where’s the harm in trying? I’m a good judge of these things, you should trust me.”

She finishes off her retort by puffing her chest out proudly and beating it with a hoof, a smile plastered to her face.

I let out a huff and trot a short distance away, waving at Rainbow in assurance when she raises concerns over me leaving. Once she nods and quiets her protests I look down at my hooves to think, because I really need to think.

I’ve never had a friend before… and Rainbow is really cool… but what if I blow up at her again? What if she thinks I’m a weirdo who does nothing but see the bad in things? What if she realizes that she was wrong for being friends with a pegasus who’s so bad at flying when she herself is so good at it? What if she ends up hating me…

I shake my head and try to think about it from a different point of view, a Rainbow Dash point of view. Well… where’s the point in giving up before even trying? I’m wanting to avoid losing this, but it won’t become any sort of friendship at all if I don’t accept it. With her at my side, I was able to fly even the little bit that I could earlier. Who’s to say that’s the most we could do for each other if we were friends? Rainbow herself thinks I’d be a good friend, and I should trust her!

I stamp my hoof with conviction. No, I can’t give up on this.

“OK, Rainbow, I think I want to try,” I say, trotting back towards her. “If you’ll have me… I think I’d really enjoy being friends with you.”

“Yes! I knew you’d come around!” she exclaims, launching off the cloud and using her wings to perform a quick backflip. “Don’t worry, you won’t regret this. First order of business, kicking the flanks of those two jerks who were making fun of you.”

Looking around, I realize that I no longer see any pegasi flying the course. Flight practice ended a good few minutes ago. Those two are likely waiting for Rainbow behind the cabins, like they had promised earlier.

“Oh, um, I’d much rather just… go anywhere else…” I say. I try to slink past Rainbow before she grabs me by the shoulders and whips me around. She seems to really enjoy doing that.

“No way, dude! We’re gonna go prove to these guys that you’re more than what they said about you!” she grunts as she begins to push me in the direction of the cabins. “You’re coming with me so you can see the looks on their faces when your friend leaves them in the dust!”

My friend… the thought alone puts a big smile on my face.

Relenting, I let her drag me towards the cabins. Before long a makeshift flight track comes into view, complete with a starting and finish line, bleachers and an audience to fill those bleachers. An audience filled to the brim with both ponies I’ve never met and ponies who have caused me no small amount of trouble throughout my life.

Although, If I’m being honest with myself right now… I don’t really care. Rainbow wants me to be here for her so I’m going to be here for her. She’s going to win this.

We both land at the starting line next to the two boys who were mocking us before.

“Finally decided to show up, huh? We were just about to call it! Figured you crashed into something on your way here and couldn’t make it,” laughs one of them.

“Nah, we had stuff to do. Here now, though! Just in time to win this thing,” says Rainbow, expressing herself confidently.

Seeing an open seat, I make my way over to the bleachers. “Hey, wait! Where are you going?”

I look back at Rainbow in confusion. “Um… I’m going to find a seat? To watch the race?”

“No, no. You need a front row seat for this. Here!” Rainbow rushes off before returning a second later, this time holding a checkered flag. “You’re gonna be front and center! Wave the flag for us and everything!”

A sense of panic hits me as I realize what she’s asking for.

“Really? You want him to start the race? Really think he can handle that?” one of the bullies teases with a snicker.

Rainbow wheels around to face him, anger apparent all over her face. “Of course he can! Besides, he needs the closest view possible of me winning this thing!” she shouts, then places herself at the starting line.

I reluctantly lean down and grab the flag in my mouth, taking a couple of practice swings to get used to its weight. Nervously, I take my place in front of the starting line. There’s a couple of sneers from the crowd, likely from ponies I go to school with. I do my best to ignore them and focus on the task ahead of me.

A few more barbs are thrown between Rainbow and the two bullies as they position themselves next to her along the line. After several long seconds one of them lifts their head up. “Hey! We’re waiting!” he shouts.

Oh! I’ve got to— OK, here we go.

Alongside several snickers from the crowd, I lift the flag up above my head. Closing my eyes, I breathe in through my nose. I’m going to change. Rainbow Dash is my friend and I’m going to change, with her at my side. I breathe out, open my eyes and swing the flag downward, signaling the race to begin.

The three racers fly past me, leaving me spinning in place. I recover, but I’m left feeling dizzy, vision jumbled and legs unsteady. Just as everyone in the crowd turns to follow the racers I take a step forward… only I don’t feel it hit cloud. My hoof keeps going, further than I was expecting, and the rest of my body tumbles forward after it.

Before my brain can process exactly what’s happening, I’m suddenly staring up at the flight track and watching as it gets further and further away. The persistent bustle of noise from Summer Flight Camp and Cloudsdale itself is quickly replaced by the unfamiliar sound of wind whistling harshly past my ears.

Rainbow..?

Comments

[Crimson Eclipse77]

Looks nice so far! Making Fluttershy a boy is an interesting twist. I'd be glad to see more!

[mushroompone]

Really awesome opening chapter!! I love the way you've connected Fluttershy's bodily discomfort from the show with gender dysphoria. The character interactions in this are fantastic as well :) I also don't often see first person POV on here, so it's great to see a well-written first-person piece! Can't wait to see where you go with this!

[Clickety-Whinny]

Wow, and we're off to a terrific start!

I really enjoy your characterization of just about everypony here. I'm transfem too so your Fluttershy is speaking to me in a real personal way. Can't wait to see where you take this!

[Lord Headcheez]

Great opening chapter! Everyone in portrayed beautifully, and I love how Fluttershy's dysphoria is handled. I'm quite excited to see where you take this, since despite the serious nature of the situation, it feels like it could be an episode.

[VioletsInSpring]

I'm really excited to see where this goes! I liked this first chapter and can't wait to read more.

[magic-aggy]

loving this so far, can't wait to see the rest of it!!!

[The Local Rat Queen]

Yo this is cool as hell, im excited to see what happens next

[penelopunch]

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11572006
11571927

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it! I can't wait to write more and trust me, there's a lot more coming!

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11571857

Thank you for the kind comments!! I really enjoyed writing fluttershy's personal struggles in this chapter. It was a fun challenge to show just how much I imagined this kind of thing would affect her when she was younger. It's also a good thing to establish before we get into the meat of things later on!

11571818

Thank you for the compliment! I'm happy you enjoyed the character interactions as much as you did! Yes, the first-person perspective was something that I had to think on for a bit, but I ultimately decided on. I feel like using Fluttershy's limited view of the world as a vehicle for exploring said world and the wonderful people and things inside of it was just something that I had to do once I thought about it for more than 2 seconds.

11571798

Thank you for reading it! Fluttershy is actually transgender in this fic, however! Any reference to her as a boy when she's younger is just because she hasn't realized that she's a girl yet. Don't expect it to last!

[The Local Rat Queen]

If i may ask, do you a schedule for this or do you just plan on posting whenever. Im sticking around either way lol

[penelopunch]

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I’m planning on uploading whenever I get around to it! I have too many things going on in my life to create a consistent schedule around this (I also draw ponies often to post on Tumblr so that’s another use of my time). However, I really enjoy writing and I have plenty of story bits I want to get out there, so I think new chapters and potential new stories will come relatively quickly. I actually have the second chapter done already I just need to finish editing it!

[The Local Rat Queen]

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well im here through it all, keep up the good work

[Ice Star]

Holy shit this is good

[StellarAlignment]

The suspense of that final line! A masterful first chapter. I'm so hooked