Party Crasher
The night of the big event had finally arrived, and at last I could complete my mission and bring Sunny home safe. You might be wondering how I survived on my own without any apparent lodging, but that one's easy to explain. You see, I'm pretty used to sleeping rough, and as such had made a back alley my home, along with taking a temporary position at a food delivery firm (think DeliverHooves that we have in Earth Pony land) that paid in cash (meaning I didn't have to go through with the whole ordeal of giving financial details). It also paid daily, which made buying food quite easy. They must have pretty poor employment checks or be quite desperate if they were willing to take me on without doing any analysis on who I claimed to be.
But anyway, enough talking about that from me. I hardly imagine you want me to point out every single oddity or rule breach or else we'd be here all day. The event was finally here, and I knew sneaking in would be an option- I'd had to do a delivery of McWing's earlier on to the Princess. Or one of the princesses. I don't know which one as the order didn't say. Though to be honest I don't really see Pipp as a chicken pony. That's probably more Zipp's thing.
Anyway, I made my way into the palace, and was soon clambering up some steps into the main chamber. The place was pretty incredible. The walls were painted white and seemed to shine with their own energy. The walls were also lined in gold, with surfaces polished so finely you could inspect your appearance in them. I took the opportunity to check my moustache and wings were set correctly before moving on.
I could hear cheering from the main room, suggesting I was a fairly late arrival. I suspected my watch was a bit slow, based on the palace clocks I'd seen, but this was a perfect opportunity to sneak backstage and find Sunny, in the place I suspected she would be.
I stopped behind a pillar when I saw a guard standing there, talking on his phone. "Hey honey. Sorry I'm running a bit late, but I had to fill in for a colleague at the palace. I'll try to be home as soon as I can."
Whilst he had been talking, I noticed a door opening and closing behind him. That was very odd. Almost as if they were trying to escape from somewhere without being spotted. Very odd indeed. When the guard was distracted I snuck past him and to the next door along, before patiently waiting for the door to open. If I had predicted the path at all accurately (which I often do), whomever was moving from door to door would be there next. And hopefully I'd be able to intercept them.
I stopped in front of the door, and watched as it opened. Standing on the other side was a pony who, before that point, I had only seen from the other side of a screen.
Sunny Starscout's eyes widened in surprise as she saw me standing there, the purple irises betraying a moment of shock. "Oh no..."
Really? All this time apart and that's the first thing she thinks to say? Give me a break. I spoke as authoritatively as I could whilst glaring at her. "Sunny Starscout, Izzy Moonbow, you are under arre-"
I hadn't finished my sentence before Sunny closed the door again. Talk about rude. I waited a moment before opening the door again and charging in.
The limited light made seeing where I was going difficult, but I saw an orange mare and a purple unicorn running off into the crowd. "You two stop right there!"
Suddenly, my eyes were drawn towards a nearby set of lights, and I followed them in the hope they would give me a clue as to the features of the room. I continued to look about, hunting for clues.
Suddenly, a figure flew through the scene, a pink mare with white fluffy wings and a singing voice to rival an angel. She briefly looked my way and winked, almost as if she had acknowledged me.
I was utterly enthralled. I'd seen a lot of stunning stuff in my time, including here, but I thought it then and there. She was, put simply, the most beautiful mare I'd ever seen. I still get goosebumps just thinking about that moment. Not sure what the original Hitch would have thought about finding a pegasus attractive, but who said I had to play by his story, huh?
I shook my head, as I had a job to do. I set off into the crowd, following Sunny as she was the priority target. Despite my superior training and excellent muscles, she was giving me quite the workout. Not that I minded. It'd only make putting her in hoofcuffs more satisfying.
I rolled through the party, avoiding all sorts of ponies and trying to keep my disguise intact. I then spotted Sunny sliding under a table. No doubt to try and throw me off the scent. Well, two can play at that game, Sunny. I dropped down and slid underneath it myself to reach her, but suddenly a gaggle of pegasi stopped right where I was going. I had to stop and wait. "Oh come on!"
Once they had cleared, Sunny was nowhere to be seen. She'd given me the slip! I continued to move slowly, briefly spotting Izzy and Zipp interacting, before suddenly spotting Cloudpuff. He seemed oddly docile upon seeing me, given his hostility at this point in the film, so I used that to my advantage when I spotted Sunny and gave chase.
She then spotted me. "Oh shit, here he comes! RUN!" She then ran off with Izzy in tow.
Wait a moment. Did Sunny just... swear?
I know mild curse words like 'crap' are allowed in PG rated films, but I'm pretty certain 'shit' will get you an automatic PG-13 or 12A. Unfortunately, they had vanished into the darkness before I had a chance to ponder this properly, so I was surprised when I was stopped in front of Cloudpuff again. "Uh... hey there, little guy!"
Cloudpuff looked up at me, and switched from attack mode to being quite friendly, with the closest approximation to a smile on his face a dog can probably muster. That was, at least, reassuring. I'd had enough encounters with aggressive dogs in my life to not want to face it here.
Suddenly, the sound system above me began playing up, and the lights began to flicker faster than a Pink Floyd Concert. Pink Floyd were a rock band known for heavy use of psychedelic lighting in their concerts. It was all very reminiscent of the Filli Vanilli scandal, which was not a thing I thought I would ever say.
I hadn't had much time to process what was going on when the lights moved from the air and down to me! I had no clue why that had happened, but I couldn't just stand there and look awkward. Sometimes, you have to try your best and simply muddle through. And that is exactly what I did.
"Uhhh... Throwin' up, find a glove/
Fly around, up above/
Doin' stuff that I love/
You're like, "Why?", I'm like, "What?"
I'll be the first to admit my freestyling isn't great. But I had to stick something in the gap or else it would have been very awkwardly silent. Lots and lots of very, very confused pegasi were looking right at me, and for some reason a TV camera had stopped in front of me as well, so I simply kept going with my awful improvised rap.
"Crisp and dry, eat some mud/
Glowing up, lovey-dove..."
I briefly heard Pipp speaking from nearby. "What is happening?"
Then suddenly, everything turned into utter chaos. The sound system played up again and Pipp was being hauled around the room at high speed, like some sort of thrill ride gone hideously wrong. I tried to use this as a chance to exit, but then spotted Sunny and Izzy trying to leave! Oh no you don't.
"Stop right there!" I bellowed, just as Pipp went flying past behind me and pulled my wings off. The cardboard bounced along the floor and ground to a stop.
"He's an Earth Pony!" said a crowd member. "How did he get in here?"
Gee, took you guys a long time to work it out. Guess my disguise was quite good. But what happened next provided me with a perfect cover. Soldiers began to flood into the room, and I took the distraction they were creating as a perfect moment to get moving.
I dashed for the exit Sunny and Izzy had used, keen to get those two back to Maretime Bay as quickly as possible. If all things went well, my mission was almost over, and easy times would be mine again.
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Rebirth of Magic: Law and Order has returned!
Another really well done chapter kicking off this part of the last installments of the third phase. Again, the characterizations, dialogue and future chapter set-up are wonderfully done. Definitely liked "Hitch's" reflections on things like how he was able to survive without lodgings, the stuff with the guards and backstage crew, the surprise concerning "Sunny" using stronger language than expected and the attraction to "Pipp".
VERY much looking forward to the other four chapters in this phase.
great chapter mate keep it up can't wait for the next chapter
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Considering how popular HitchxPipp is, it only felt natural to acknowledge one of the oldest G5 ships (one which actually predates the film's release, funnily enough). Seeing as Hitch has been locked out of the narrative loop the other characters are in, it was only natural to toss in his confusion at how different things are.
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Glad you liked.
Something tells me he might've with Zipp from the many scenes they share following the movie.
Yep...
This still makes me laugh when nearly 3 years later!!!
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1. The writers sure are pushing ZippBlazer quite hard, huh?
2. Indeed.
3. James Marsdens' delivery and sense of comic timing really sells it.
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1. Mhm
3. Yep.
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1. Indeed.
3. J. J. Gerber challenges the same sense of comedy well; he was clearly having a blast channelling Christian Bale in Chapter 2.
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I see
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Indeed you do.