An unstoppable force took me far from home, burdening me with an unwanted power. Now, in a new place, I must learn to control it. The only good thing is that I can finally find happiness.
11549663 Uh, un comentario en español, que extraño. Ahora sobre tu comentario, te equivocas en una cosa, la adrenalina no solo la produce tu cuerpo cuando esta en un impulso de supervivencia, si no, te cito textualmente de una pagina medica, para ser preciso la pagina ecoceutics:
"Cuando nuestro cerebro recibe un estímulo para activar nuestro cuerpo (deseo de hacer deporte, huir de un agresor, defendernos en una situación de riesgo, un golpe emocional) se “da la orden” a las glándulas suprarrenales de liberar adrenalina a la sangre."
Usando esto como referencia, puede haber muchas razones por la que uno libera adrenalina, no es un ultimo impulso, es una acción de nuestro cuerpo ante emociones o situaciones, no ante el peligro directamente, es una de sus razones principales por la que se libera, pero no es la única.
Not really sure where the story is going. Fluttershy says that Canterlot is the most xenophobic city, and MC seems very intent on being unseen by ponies; yet, he accepts facilities from Twilight in Canterlot instead of nearby the Everfree or her own castle property?
And for what purpose? Why does MC need money? What’s his goal? He mentioned to Twilight that he doesn’t want to make weapons, and they both acknowledge Celestia’s blacksmith has that market; but the first thing he makes is a sword? Why?
11725099 Chapter 1: "I put it in my backpack, one of the only new things I had next to my training equipment, I fixed my gaze on my hunting knife, although it was more of a sword since it was 97 centimeters long, I stared at it for a few seconds and I also put it in my backpack, I would need the sword if I couldn't get anything to eat anywhere, I would only have to hunt."
11725114 No, the MC has several defects, they are not noticeable because everything is from the MC's perspective, you do not actively look at your defects, there are even several that you do not know about yourself, the penis thing was nothing more than an indicator that the history will have no problem with those types of descriptions, a way to alienate people who are not interested in those things from the beginning.
11725183 The MC is changing, his body is the most noticeable thing, although he doesn't show it, he doesn't want that, he just wanted to be normal, so much rejection for his eyes and... other factors, led him to that need, to move to Canterlot It is to go to a city that is close in familiarity to where you live, the work and money is also familiar, as well as a good distraction. Not to mention the fact that the forest is not safe and his survival in it scares him, because it is an obvious sign that he is changing. And making a sword as the first object is simple, it was the first thing he learned to forge in the past, and it was a way to remember the entire process that forging involves.
If you have any questions or criticism, don't hesitate to comment, they always help to improve my writing.
11549663
Uh, un comentario en español, que extraño.
Ahora sobre tu comentario, te equivocas en una cosa, la adrenalina no solo la produce tu cuerpo cuando esta en un impulso de supervivencia, si no, te cito textualmente de una pagina medica, para ser preciso la pagina ecoceutics:
Usando esto como referencia, puede haber muchas razones por la que uno libera adrenalina, no es un ultimo impulso, es una acción de nuestro cuerpo ante emociones o situaciones, no ante el peligro directamente, es una de sus razones principales por la que se libera, pero no es la única.
It is a good story one small thing all his should mostly be change to her beside that excellent story
More good
Not really sure where the story is going. Fluttershy says that Canterlot is the most xenophobic city, and MC seems very intent on being unseen by ponies; yet, he accepts facilities from Twilight in Canterlot instead of nearby the Everfree or her own castle property?
And for what purpose? Why does MC need money? What’s his goal? He mentioned to Twilight that he doesn’t want to make weapons, and they both acknowledge Celestia’s blacksmith has that market; but the first thing he makes is a sword? Why?
11725099
Chapter 1: "I put it in my backpack, one of the only new things I had next to my training equipment, I fixed my gaze on my hunting knife, although it was more of a sword since it was 97 centimeters long, I stared at it for a few seconds and I also put it in my backpack, I would need the sword if I couldn't get anything to eat anywhere, I would only have to hunt."
11725114
No, the MC has several defects, they are not noticeable because everything is from the MC's perspective, you do not actively look at your defects, there are even several that you do not know about yourself, the penis thing was nothing more than an indicator that the history will have no problem with those types of descriptions, a way to alienate people who are not interested in those things from the beginning.
11725183
The MC is changing, his body is the most noticeable thing, although he doesn't show it, he doesn't want that, he just wanted to be normal, so much rejection for his eyes and... other factors, led him to that need, to move to Canterlot It is to go to a city that is close in familiarity to where you live, the work and money is also familiar, as well as a good distraction. Not to mention the fact that the forest is not safe and his survival in it scares him, because it is an obvious sign that he is changing. And making a sword as the first object is simple, it was the first thing he learned to forge in the past, and it was a way to remember the entire process that forging involves.
If you have any questions or criticism, don't hesitate to comment, they always help to improve my writing.
11733087
Ah I missed the part in Ch1. Sorry.
I do look forward to more!!