"Correct. She has known about your presence here in Equestria ever since you arrived here almost a month ago. She wanted to meet you, but after I told her about your situation, she decided it would be best if you got a bit use to things around here before you two met." Twilight explained, even using her magic to summon the letter she received for him to look at. Derek took the letter and gave it a quick read.
Seems kind of a dick move for Twilight not to let him know beforehand, especially with them being a couple. She should have told him before to be honest.
"What are you two talking about?" Derek asked, giving the two weird looks.
I don't know. Not like she told you that she wants Rarity to make you a more fitting outfit or anything.
"I'm taking you to the barber to give you a manecut, your mane is getting messy. Then I'm taking you to Rarity's boutique so she can make you an outfit to meet her in." She used her magic to pull him up to his feet.
"Wh-What!? H-How do you..." Twilight began to ask.
She never told her friends about them being together? Wow, another dick move, Twilight!
"About a week now. And yes, I'm the only one who knows. I must admit Twilight, you and him make a very dashing couple." Rarity once again teased. Twilight looked as if she was trying to find a place to hide. "Tell me darling, is he treating you properly."
Again, why? Twilight is really coming across as a bit of a dick, keeping things she shouldn't be keeping from her friends and even boyfriend. I guess that's one thing she picked up from Celestia.
"Am I that bad at hiding secrets?" She gave him a coy grin.
You fucking shouldn't be. Count to five... ten... twenty. God, I am getting more and more worked up here, but Twilight's behavior here is getting on my nerves. Maybe if she was called out, or if one of them asked when was she planning on telling them, I would be more willing to let her keeping secrets that should be secrets slide, but I can't.
"Meet your parents? Do they know about us?" He asked as he moved his second hand around her, rubbing her back gently. Her whole body relaxes in his touch, and he could feel a slight warmth building within her.
"Y-yeah... I told them. They really want to meet you." She said in almost a whisper.
Tells her parents no problem, but not her close friends. Well, I guess I should give her credit for not keeping things from family. At least that is one line she won't cross.
"Because My brother is back in town with Princess Cadence. They are staying at the castle, but once they leave the day after we arrive, we will take their room in the castle afterwards." She explained to him.
It's a fucking castle. I doubt there is only one guest room, so there should be plenty of empty guest rooms. Seems forced to have that conflict, but whatever.
11522735 I'm more then willing to explain my reasons for writing this chapter that way. But do hold your horses, you're trying to beat me at plotpoints I haven't even begun to write yet. As I have said, most of the story will be explained along the way.
Seems kind of a dick move for Twilight not to let him know beforehand, especially with them being a couple. She should have told him before to be honest.
I don't see how this is a dick move. I didn't specify when she received the letter from Celestia, but I made her imply she received it yesterday. Besides, Celestia wanted him to try and fit in before her meeting with him. It really doesn't matter that much if he knew that or didn't. Perhaps telling him could have added pressure to him to try and fit in as fast as possible. That way he could do it at his own time. I fail to see why this would be a "dick move."
I don't know. Not like she told you that she wants Rarity to make you a more fitting outfit or anything.
He knows he is getting fitted for a suit an outfit, but he is unaware that he has to stand there for hours while she MADE the suit. That's why he was confused on why it would have been a "challenge"
What's the problem Here? Not to sound like a dick, but if you have a problem, tell me. I don't know why this bothers you.
She never told her friends about them being together? Wow, another dick move, Twilight!
Yes, Twilight and Derek are keeping quiet about their relationship, because I'm planning a big reveal later, where they both reveal it to their friends at the same time. There are many reasons I have for the secrecy that I plan to reveal later in the fic. One of the reasons is that they are still somewhat afraid of the public reaction to a relationship between a human and pony. It's not that she doesn't distrust her friends however, they are going to try and make their relationship noticeable in public to try and see what the public reaction would be, then the reveal. Keeping it a secret to their friends is just because they want to surprise them. Keeping it a secret from her friends is not a dick move, they want to make the reveal special.
Again, why? Twilight is really coming across as a bit of a dick, keeping things she shouldn't be keeping from her friends and even boyfriend. I guess that's one thing she picked up from Celestia.
I refer to my explanation above, unless you are talking about Twilight's reaction. She's a bit embarrassed, end of story there.
You fucking shouldn't be. Count to five... ten... twenty. God, I am getting more and more worked up here, but Twilight's behavior here is getting on my nerves. Maybe if she was called out, or if one of them asked when was she planning on telling them, I would be more willing to let her keeping secrets that should be secrets slide, but I can't.
I don't know why you are getting so worked up here. If you read farther, Twilights motive was revealed. She wanted to surprise him. Why is that such a big deal?
Tells her parents no problem, but not her close friends. Well, I guess I should give her credit for not keeping things from family. At least that is one line she won't cross.
Yes, since they will be staying at their house for the night, she told them a head of time. Since I don't plan on them coming to ponyville for the big reveal.
It's a fucking castle. I doubt there is only one guest room, so there should be plenty of empty guest rooms. Seems forced to have that conflict, but whatever.
Dude, I'm doing it for plot convience. It's not that deep.
I'm more then willing to explain my reasons for writing this chapter that way. But do hold your horses, you're trying to beat me at plotpoints I haven't even begun to write yet. As I have said, most of the story will be explained along the way.
Not trying to beat you at anything. I am simply questioning and commenting on what I read as I read it. If it's answered in the future, great, but I am still going to comment on something with all the information I have available, since that is all I can do. I get you can't explain everything and I accept that, but you have to accept that I will question things as I read before they are answered.
I don't see how this is a dick move. I didn't specify when she received the letter from Celestia, but I made her imply she received it yesterday. Besides, Celestia wanted him to try and fit in before her meeting with him. It really doesn't matter that much if he knew that or didn't. Perhaps telling him could have added pressure to him to try and fit in as fast as possible. That way he could do it at his own time. I fail to see why this would be a "dick move."
Still thinks it's kind of wrong that she didn't tell him about Celestia being interested in him beforehand. Fine, after thinking more about it now that I calmed down, I realized it's not that big of a deal, since it was just a surprise trip and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that, though I still stand by my point that Twilight should be more transparent about things, especially with her lover. Hopefully, she will be more upfront and open in the future.
What's the problem Here? Not to sound like a dick, but if you have a problem, tell me. I don't know why this bothers you.
I added the twilight expressions simply as comedic effect. Nothing more and nothing less. Also, I explained my issues clearly in the comment, so it's pointless to ask, even if me adding the expressions had more to it than that.
Yes, Twilight and Derek are keeping quiet about their relationship, because I'm planning a big reveal later, where they both reveal it to their friends at the same time. There are many reasons I have for the secrecy that I plan to reveal later in the fic. One of the reasons is that they are still somewhat afraid of the public reaction to a relationship between a human and pony. It's not that she doesn't distrust her friends however, they are going to try and make their relationship noticeable in public to try and see what the public reaction would be, then the reveal. Keeping it a secret to their friends is just because they want to surprise them. Keeping it a secret from her friends is not a dick move, they want to make the reveal special.
Completely disagree. She has known them for a while and went through many adventures with them, making this excuse about public image ring hollow. Just have them come out to the rest of the girls in private, since they are friends and she should trust them. Actions speak louder than words and having Twilight not do this speaks more that she truly doesn't trust her friends than countless attempts of you saying she does. Even worse is Starlight was the one who pushed her to follow her heart and now Rarity gave her blessing, meaning it's even worse that she won't trust the rest of her close friends to be ok with it and to let them know. No, let's keep them out of the loop and treat them as every other pony.
I don't know why you are getting so worked up here. If you read farther, Twilights motive was revealed. She wanted to surprise him. Why is that such a big deal?
Another reason it gets on my nerves is the double standard. Derek had to apologize and the story had Twilight note he was rude, despite the understandable circumstance, and now when she does something that is even more rude, she doesn't get called out. Derek and Rarity don't get annoyed with her for keeping things from them. Not even simply asking in a joking manner when did she plan on telling them. Nope, Twilight is a saint and the idea of her actions being rude isn't even considered one iota. I am worked up, since I care about what is fair. If Derek gets called out for being rude, or doing something wrong, than Twilight should too. At least have the other girls annoyed Twilight didn't tell them before. Perhaps, Applejack for not being upfront, since they are supposed to be close friends.
Yes, since they will be staying at their house for the night, she told them a head of time. Since I don't plan on them coming to ponyville for the big reveal.
Then I take back what I said about her not crossing that line. If that is her reason for telling them and not because it's her family, than that's also terrible of her.
Dude, I'm doing it for plot convience. It's not that deep.
Dude, I am pointing out a plot hole. Stuff like that matters if you want a well written story.
Completely disagree. She has known them for a while and went through many adventures with them, making this excuse about public image ring hollow. Just have them come out to the rest of the girls in private, since they are friends and she should trust them. Actions speak louder than words and having Twilight not do this speaks more that she truly doesn't trust her friends than countless attempts of you saying she does. Even worse is Starlight was the one who pushed her to follow her heart and now Rarity gave her blessing, meaning it's even worse that she won't trust the rest of her close friends to be ok with it and to let them know. No, let's keep them out of the loop and treat them as every other pony.
like i said, her keeping it a secret is not because she distrusts them. Its because I have plans for a big reveal. You're assuming the worst out of her without taking into consideration what other reason she has for keeping said secret. Do you honestly believe she is keeping it because she distrust them? This is similar to how Cadence and shining kept quiet about having a baby. Its not from distrust, they want to surprise them. But they also want to make sure from everyone else that it will be expected as they want to do it publicly. I havent gotten to that plot yet, and yes, I accept that you are gonna question it, but I also put faith in that since this is story driven, the whole story hasn't been explained yet.
Another reason it gets on my nerves is the double standard. Derek had to apologize and the story had Twilight note he was rude, despite the understandable circumstance, and now when she does something that is even more rude, she doesn't get called out. Derek and Rarity don't get annoyed with her for keeping things from them. Not even simply asking in a joking manner when did she plan on telling them. Nope, Twilight is a saint and the idea of her actions being rude isn't even considered one iota. I am worked up, since I care about what is fair. If Derek gets called out for being rude, or doing something wrong, than Twilight should too. At least have the other girls annoyed Twilight didn't tell them before. Perhaps, Applejack for not being upfront, since they are supposed to be close friends.
What double standards? How is Twilight being rude??? Twilight wanted to Surprise Derek with a trip to Canterlot so that they can have time for themselves. I would do the same for my loved one, surprise her with trip where it would be just us together, how is that rude??? I already told you why Twilight has kept the secret from Rarity, and again, I fail to see why this would all be rude?
Then I take back what I said about her not crossing that line. If that is her reason for telling them and not because it's her family, than that's also terrible of her.
...seriously? that's what you got from that? I'm trying my best not to be rude, but is that seriously all you got from that? You are assuming everything is being done out of malice, its not. Cut me some slack!
like i said, her keeping it a secret is not because she distrusts them. Its because I have plans for a big reveal. You're assuming the worst out of her without taking into consideration what other reason she has for keeping said secret. Do you honestly believe she is keeping it because she distrust them? This is similar to how Cadence and shining kept quiet about having a baby. Its not from distrust, they want to surprise them. But they also want to make sure from everyone else that it will be expected as they want to do it publicly. I havent gotten to that plot yet, and yes, I accept that you are gonna question it, but I also put faith in that since this is story driven, the whole story hasn't been explained yet.
I can't take something into consideration that hasn't been presented yet. Since no other reasons has, I am left with all I have. A nonsensical reason that I explained how it doesn't work in explaining her actions, or more accurately lack there of away. Like I said I am left making conclusions with all the information I have. If you want me to take your other reasons, you have yet to present, into consideration, than actually present them. I get you don't want to spoil anything and sure don't. I can wait, but until then this is my conclusion and thoughts on the matter. As for Cadance and Shining, I think that was wrong of them for the same reason. Yes, I am consistent with my logic and reasoning. Like I said I am only going with all I have been given. My thoughts may change when actually presented with more information.
What double standards? How is Twilight being rude??? Twilight wanted to Surprise Derek with a trip to Canterlot so that they can have time for themselves. I would do the same for my loved one, surprise her with trip where it would be just us together, how is that rude??? I already told you why Twilight has kept the secret from Rarity, and again, I fail to see why this would all be rude?
Ok. One I admitted her surprising him with the trip is fine when I calmed down, so don't lecture me on that when I already admitted my mistake on that. Not just from Rarity. From her supposed close friends. I explained how in detail in basic English so I don't know what else to tell you other than...
...seriously? that's what you got from that? I'm trying my best not to be rude, but is that seriously all you got from that? You are assuming everything is being done out of malice, its not. Cut me some slack!
A loud beaming yes to both questions. Until your reasons are given and are actually valid (doubt they will be, but we'll see.) that is the only sensible conclusion I can come to. Don't like it? Tough. It's all I have to work with.
11522954 Dude, I'm not here to argue. I've explained my reasons for how I'm writing it, you can accept them, or you cannot. I was trying to be nice when I did. If you really don't like this story, then don't read it. You don't need to be a jackass about it.
11522961 Fine, and I do, but you have to also accept how I see and conclude things when I find your reasoning is nonsense. It seems to me you are actually the one who can't handle that. Don't be the pot calling the silverware black, or project your issues onto me. It's pathetic to be honest. Keep writing how you see fit and I will question and critique how I see fit. Fair enough?
11522968 I'm not trying to act like I can't take criticism. You left a Critique and expressed your immense dissatisfaction. I was more than willing to explain my reasonings. As to how to fix it, I honestly don't know what to say. I can't just show you a chapter that I haven't written yet, so I tried to politely explain it to you, which you have not shown me the same curtesy. I never wanted to come off as "Unable to take Criticism." But how else do I explain a chapter I haven't written yet. Feel as you want, and critique how you want. I'll accept what you said, but the moment you start acting like a dick for no reason, I'll stop answering.
11522973 Yeah, you gave a reason that I responded to with reasons why I think it's not valid and I think I was kind and polite when I did so. I admit I got annoyed when you failed to understand my points when I think they were easy to understand, but you seemed to have gotten annoyed with me too, so you can't complain too much. I get you can't spoil future chapters, but until they are out and reveal more I can't consider the so far non-existent reasons for Twilight's actions. To be honest, I think you were being just as rude by asking me questions that I explained in the paragraphs you responded to with said questions. I am willing to meet you half way and admit we both were being rude and could have handle it better. What do you say?
11522989 Dudes, this is why I sometimes leave a story. Not that the fic is bad; it's just the comments. First of all, the reason to read any story is the discovery of having the main points explained, which in many cases takes time to reveal. I'm fine with that, no matter how many chapters it takes. True, if it takes a hundred chapters to get to a plot point making sense, then sure, I'd be dissatisfied. And Author, you probably should cut us readers some slack. Not every reader can be satisfied with throw-away descriptions, and cavalier explanations. Some of us are just too eager to understand, while other (like me) are content to wait out plot points. That is how I read and enjoy. Patience is a virtue. I know because I've been reading all of my near seventy years... Now, can we all stop acting like spoilt foals and move on? I'm enjoying the story; hell, I wish that it was me here, and not some Human OC... 😍
More good
Seems kind of a dick move for Twilight not to let him know beforehand, especially with them being a couple. She should have told him before to be honest.
I don't know. Not like she told you that she wants Rarity to make you a more fitting outfit or anything.
She never told her friends about them being together? Wow, another dick move, Twilight!
Again, why? Twilight is really coming across as a bit of a dick, keeping things she shouldn't be keeping from her friends and even boyfriend. I guess that's one thing she picked up from Celestia.
You fucking shouldn't be. Count to five... ten... twenty. God, I am getting more and more worked up here, but Twilight's behavior here is getting on my nerves. Maybe if she was called out, or if one of them asked when was she planning on telling them, I would be more willing to let her keeping secrets that should be secrets slide, but I can't.
Tells her parents no problem, but not her close friends. Well, I guess I should give her credit for not keeping things from family. At least that is one line she won't cross.
It's a fucking castle. I doubt there is only one guest room, so there should be plenty of empty guest rooms. Seems forced to have that conflict, but whatever.
11522735
I'm more then willing to explain my reasons for writing this chapter that way. But do hold your horses, you're trying to beat me at plotpoints I haven't even begun to write yet. As I have said, most of the story will be explained along the way.
I don't see how this is a dick move. I didn't specify when she received the letter from Celestia, but I made her imply she received it yesterday. Besides, Celestia wanted him to try and fit in before her meeting with him. It really doesn't matter that much if he knew that or didn't. Perhaps telling him could have added pressure to him to try and fit in as fast as possible. That way he could do it at his own time. I fail to see why this would be a "dick move."
He knows he is getting fitted for a suit an outfit, but he is unaware that he has to stand there for hours while she MADE the suit. That's why he was confused on why it would have been a "challenge"
What's the problem Here? Not to sound like a dick, but if you have a problem, tell me. I don't know why this bothers you.
Yes, Twilight and Derek are keeping quiet about their relationship, because I'm planning a big reveal later, where they both reveal it to their friends at the same time. There are many reasons I have for the secrecy that I plan to reveal later in the fic. One of the reasons is that they are still somewhat afraid of the public reaction to a relationship between a human and pony. It's not that she doesn't distrust her friends however, they are going to try and make their relationship noticeable in public to try and see what the public reaction would be, then the reveal. Keeping it a secret to their friends is just because they want to surprise them. Keeping it a secret from her friends is not a dick move, they want to make the reveal special.
I refer to my explanation above, unless you are talking about Twilight's reaction. She's a bit embarrassed, end of story there.
I don't know why you are getting so worked up here. If you read farther, Twilights motive was revealed. She wanted to surprise him. Why is that such a big deal?
Yes, since they will be staying at their house for the night, she told them a head of time. Since I don't plan on them coming to ponyville for the big reveal.
Dude, I'm doing it for plot convience. It's not that deep.
11522837
Not trying to beat you at anything. I am simply questioning and commenting on what I read as I read it. If it's answered in the future, great, but I am still going to comment on something with all the information I have available, since that is all I can do. I get you can't explain everything and I accept that, but you have to accept that I will question things as I read before they are answered.
Still thinks it's kind of wrong that she didn't tell him about Celestia being interested in him beforehand. Fine, after thinking more about it now that I calmed down, I realized it's not that big of a deal, since it was just a surprise trip and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that, though I still stand by my point that Twilight should be more transparent about things, especially with her lover. Hopefully, she will be more upfront and open in the future.
I added the twilight expressions simply as comedic effect. Nothing more and nothing less. Also, I explained my issues clearly in the comment, so it's pointless to ask, even if me adding the expressions had more to it than that.
Completely disagree. She has known them for a while and went through many adventures with them, making this excuse about public image ring hollow. Just have them come out to the rest of the girls in private, since they are friends and she should trust them. Actions speak louder than words and having Twilight not do this speaks more that she truly doesn't trust her friends than countless attempts of you saying she does. Even worse is Starlight was the one who pushed her to follow her heart and now Rarity gave her blessing, meaning it's even worse that she won't trust the rest of her close friends to be ok with it and to let them know. No, let's keep them out of the loop and treat them as every other pony.
Another reason it gets on my nerves is the double standard. Derek had to apologize and the story had Twilight note he was rude, despite the understandable circumstance, and now when she does something that is even more rude, she doesn't get called out. Derek and Rarity don't get annoyed with her for keeping things from them. Not even simply asking in a joking manner when did she plan on telling them. Nope, Twilight is a saint and the idea of her actions being rude isn't even considered one iota. I am worked up, since I care about what is fair. If Derek gets called out for being rude, or doing something wrong, than Twilight should too. At least have the other girls annoyed Twilight didn't tell them before. Perhaps, Applejack for not being upfront, since they are supposed to be close friends.
Then I take back what I said about her not crossing that line. If that is her reason for telling them and not because it's her family, than that's also terrible of her.
Dude, I am pointing out a plot hole. Stuff like that matters if you want a well written story.
Glad to see an update, keep it up.
11522859
like i said, her keeping it a secret is not because she distrusts them. Its because I have plans for a big reveal. You're assuming the worst out of her without taking into consideration what other reason she has for keeping said secret. Do you honestly believe she is keeping it because she distrust them? This is similar to how Cadence and shining kept quiet about having a baby. Its not from distrust, they want to surprise them. But they also want to make sure from everyone else that it will be expected as they want to do it publicly. I havent gotten to that plot yet, and yes, I accept that you are gonna question it, but I also put faith in that since this is story driven, the whole story hasn't been explained yet.
What double standards? How is Twilight being rude??? Twilight wanted to Surprise Derek with a trip to Canterlot so that they can have time for themselves. I would do the same for my loved one, surprise her with trip where it would be just us together, how is that rude??? I already told you why Twilight has kept the secret from Rarity, and again, I fail to see why this would all be rude?
...seriously? that's what you got from that? I'm trying my best not to be rude, but is that seriously all you got from that? You are assuming everything is being done out of malice, its not. Cut me some slack!
11522909
I can't take something into consideration that hasn't been presented yet. Since no other reasons has, I am left with all I have. A nonsensical reason that I explained how it doesn't work in explaining her actions, or more accurately lack there of away. Like I said I am left making conclusions with all the information I have. If you want me to take your other reasons, you have yet to present, into consideration, than actually present them. I get you don't want to spoil anything and sure don't. I can wait, but until then this is my conclusion and thoughts on the matter. As for Cadance and Shining, I think that was wrong of them for the same reason. Yes, I am consistent with my logic and reasoning. Like I said I am only going with all I have been given. My thoughts may change when actually presented with more information.
Ok. One I admitted her surprising him with the trip is fine when I calmed down, so don't lecture me on that when I already admitted my mistake on that. Not just from Rarity. From her supposed close friends. I explained how in detail in basic English so I don't know what else to tell you other than...
A loud beaming yes to both questions. Until your reasons are given and are actually valid (doubt they will be, but we'll see.) that is the only sensible conclusion I can come to. Don't like it? Tough. It's all I have to work with.
11522954
Dude, I'm not here to argue. I've explained my reasons for how I'm writing it, you can accept them, or you cannot. I was trying to be nice when I did. If you really don't like this story, then don't read it. You don't need to be a jackass about it.
11522961
Fine, and I do, but you have to also accept how I see and conclude things when I find your reasoning is nonsense. It seems to me you are actually the one who can't handle that. Don't be the pot calling the silverware black, or project your issues onto me. It's pathetic to be honest. Keep writing how you see fit and I will question and critique how I see fit. Fair enough?
11522968
I'm not trying to act like I can't take criticism. You left a Critique and expressed your immense dissatisfaction. I was more than willing to explain my reasonings. As to how to fix it, I honestly don't know what to say. I can't just show you a chapter that I haven't written yet, so I tried to politely explain it to you, which you have not shown me the same curtesy. I never wanted to come off as "Unable to take Criticism." But how else do I explain a chapter I haven't written yet. Feel as you want, and critique how you want. I'll accept what you said, but the moment you start acting like a dick for no reason, I'll stop answering.
11522973
Yeah, you gave a reason that I responded to with reasons why I think it's not valid and I think I was kind and polite when I did so. I admit I got annoyed when you failed to understand my points when I think they were easy to understand, but you seemed to have gotten annoyed with me too, so you can't complain too much. I get you can't spoil future chapters, but until they are out and reveal more I can't consider the so far non-existent reasons for Twilight's actions. To be honest, I think you were being just as rude by asking me questions that I explained in the paragraphs you responded to with said questions. I am willing to meet you half way and admit we both were being rude and could have handle it better. What do you say?
11522989
I am willing to meet you half way, and agree it could have been handled differently
11522998
11522989
Dudes, this is why I sometimes leave a story. Not that the fic is bad; it's just the comments.
First of all, the reason to read any story is the discovery of having the main points explained, which in many cases takes time to reveal. I'm fine with that, no matter how many chapters it takes. True, if it takes a hundred chapters to get to a plot point making sense, then sure, I'd be dissatisfied.
And Author, you probably should cut us readers some slack. Not every reader can be satisfied with throw-away descriptions, and cavalier explanations. Some of us are just too eager to understand, while other (like me) are content to wait out plot points. That is how I read and enjoy. Patience is a virtue. I know because I've been reading all of my near seventy years...
Now, can we all stop acting like spoilt foals and move on? I'm enjoying the story; hell, I wish that it was me here, and not some Human OC... 😍
11656251
seventy years? whats the best content youve ever read in that time??