• Published 22nd Jan 2023
  • 431 Views, 7 Comments

Life of a new Pie - Reily



Lost soul rediscovers herself in Ponyland

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Chapter 1: Dreams of a new life

Ears ringing. Head pounding. I slowly lifted my head.

My head felt incredibly sticky. I turned to my right and as I saw my best friend's unconscious form before everything faded to black. Last thing I saw was red droplets littering the floor.

“Nicole!” I cried out before I started to see a bright white light. But somewhere among the light, I thought I saw a green flicker.

Everything around me faded. Gone was the car and my friend. In its place was a neon green haze that slowly contorted and twisted itself. After what seemed like ages, the haze transformed into giant tendrils. These tendrils rammed themselves together until an eerie version of my studio apartment appeared before me. I went to reach for the handle, but my hand simply passed through the doorway.

Unnerved by phasing through the door, I looked around. Everything glowed from the ratty purple sofa to the stainless steel mini fridge. None of it seemed natural by any means. Still I remained curious about what outside looked like.

A cold chill passed my spine as I slowly walked to the far edge of the room and looked outside. Awaiting me were endless blue flames in all directions. A high-pitched blood-curdling scream rang out from within the fire fields. I immediately flung my head back inside and tried to catch my breath.

Whatever was going on here was beyond disturbing. Even by my nightmare standards. I sighed and placed my hands over my face. It’s not even a huge bar to surpass. I’ve been chased by gigantic black scaly winged abominations, fallen off buildings, and had my face torn off by wild animals. Yet, unlike the others, here I was passing through walls. I swear this nightmare better not end like the others. There’s way too many important things I have to do today.

At least my living room seemed fairly safe for now. I started to go through my checklist just to be sure. I peered under the end table, then pulled my reclining chair forward and backwards as I checked for any stragglers. I briefly glanced at the television set, before finally completing my search. I wiped the sweat from my brow, in relief.

That relief almost went away as I started hearing crackling noises. Rather than fire or lightning, the ghastly green glow was slowly being dissipated from the room. It grew warmer and the room was being filled with regular white light. It almost felt normal.

With a sudden tingle down my spine, I strangely started to feel normal and relaxed. Every irrational fear I had about what was going to happen disappeared. Just poof. No thoughts, head empty. Taking advantage of this, I made my way over to my extra comfy chair.

Greeting me was a dusty old book that seemed to be calling for me. After picking it and blowing the dust off, the cover caught my interest. A single pink teardrop glowed in the center , bringing life to the leather-bound book. The gold trim around the cover was an additional neat touch.


I wistfully sighed. It looked just like that image on the front of her occult pamphlet. Oh how I wished I didn't dismiss it all on Valentine’s of all days. Maybe then we could have had a good evening. Instead all we were left with bitter words and an even more bitter meatloaf.




I lifted the book and skimmed through it, though, before I could finish, it levitated towards the center of the room, dragging me along for the ride.

Once the book arrived, a pink and yellow beam of light appeared. I tried looking closer at it to investigate, but accidentally fell on it.

Images emanating from the light rapidly passed by me. Passing by me were pink translucent balloons, orange flowers, and yellow butterflies with sparkly wings. Then came indigo wavy lines going back and forth and every which way. While I didn’t understand why or what, the images could have stayed as actual shapes.


Giant torrents of wind bellowed through the room, tossing everything about. A flash of red light passed before, and everything started to shatter. A rainbow passed before me. All I felt was weightlessness, but while I tried trashing to wake myself up, nothing seemed to work.

When my vision cleared, I discovered I was lying face down. After tilting my head up, I saw I was surrounded by trees through which there wound a thin and overgrown path.
Thunder over the horizon, and I was pelted by torrents of rain. Staring up at the sky I was already soaked and cold.

In a few empty patches in the clouds, I made out stars. None looked like the ones I saw when I got lost in the woods that one time in middle school. No Orion's Belt. No Polaris. Just the trusty moon and a few other bright objects.

Lit up by the moon was a very smooth gray rock in front of me. Inscribed on the surface were intricate carvings that were reminiscent of words, but none of the shapes constituted English words or words belonging to any other language I was aware of.

Another oddity was my hand. My painted nails and silky smooth skin and pristine digits, now gone. I can’t even ungrasp them. In its place, was a stubby, fur-covered appendage.

I wish I had actually paid attention to Lorraine's animals now. Animals of all kinds lived on her farm. Cows, horses, roosters, and even a handful of sheep.

True, my boss's sister who was living up in the mountains definitely had country knowledge I'd never hoped to get. But I really ought to know the basics. Alas my heart belongs to the city with its pretty lights and upbeat classy restaurants.

Thinking back to Lorraine, she always told me to go see her animals and some of that sweet country air might do me some good. I'll believe it when I see it. Still I swore I made a promise to see them soon. As for when, I can't remember.

When I heard a splash, I looked down. In a large puddle forming atop the stone was the reflection of a very small drenched winged horse with a reddish mane. I rubbed the water and watched the droplets pass by.

It definitely was one of the most lucid dreams I had experienced. I was cold and wet, and, most recently, my nose had started to itch. Every rational part of my brain cautioned me not to touch it, but the impulse was too strong.

“Ow!” I said immediately regretting it. At once, my nose ached and leaked blood which coalesced with the rain and washed away.

Whenever I got hurt in a dream, I'd wake up relatively soon after. So why did it not happen?


Prying me from my thoughts were several pairs of bright red eyes staring at me from all around, rustling in the trees.

I knew what was likely to come next, and I decided I wasn’t going to stick around for it. I started running as fast as I could with the short and stubby legs, but, unfortunately, I lacked technique and practice to move effectively in the new form. I slid face first into a bush. I decided to keep slowly placing one hoof in front of the other, so at least I could continue making progress. If I needed to actually run, though, I’d be mincemeat.

When I got out of the clearing then kept heading north. One thing that was bothering was the tree distribution. Trees and more trees were facing me, and I didn't know where I was headed.


If only I could have seen things from higher ground. An idea hit me as I remembered those wings. Maybe I could fly and see where I am; or if I'm lucky, get out of the woods that way.

I went for an awkward slide run followed by a jump. While I was technically in the air for a second, it wasn’t flying. Even exerting a lot of pressure against my shoulders should have done something. I groaned as I looked like a complete idiot.

Internally kicking myself, I tried to come with any better ideas. While none were coming, I felt something very hard hit my back. It stinged and I figured danger was close.

“Ow! This isn't funny. If you're coming to attack me, I’m warning you that I won't taste very good.”

Wincing as I realized how dumb and non-threatening I sounded, I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable. But nothing happened. No visceral terror. No violent biting.

I slowly opened my eyes. Right in front of me was this little brown beady-eyed squirrel with a bushy long tail. Holding an acorn.

“Haha. Very cute. Now will you please shoo? I've got places to be.”

I turned around and started walking away from it. Only to get hit with another acorn.


“Okay. Okay. You got me twice. Quit-”


Before I could get the final word out, that little cretin threw another one. Right nearby was a little stash of acorns, and he clearly intended to keep going all night if he had to. The squirrel even grabbed another one and kept bouncing it in his paws.

“Seriously?”

That squirrel pantomimed some pointing and looks like he wants me to follow him.

“Okay. Okay. I'm going. Jeez.”


I followed him, walking past more trees and some lovely picnic tables with lovely red and white tablecloths on them. If it still wasn't pouring the rain out, it’d be wonderful to sit down for a few minutes and use them to dry off. But they'd have to be positively soaked by now.


Thus we kept walking and while I was feeling way worse for wear, I could have sworn that I saw some buildings in the distance. Although most of everything had an element of blurriness to it. Thankfully the rain had finally let up, and it appeared dawn had arrived.

I fell over on the grass and the squirrel started scampering off towards who knows where.

My eyelids were drooping and I started to feel myself losing consciousness.

“Wake up!”

My eyelids snapped open and my vision definitely wasn't the greatest. In front of me was this blurry pink creature with a curly mop on its head and she seemed quite a bit taller than I was.

“C’mon! Please get up. I don't wanna lose you again.”

Shakily pushed myself to get back up onto all fours, I studied her expression as best I could. She had tears in her eyes and her hair seemed to be this half poof half straight mix thing. But she held her head close to mine.

“You're warm and wet. And a little hurt. But that's okay! I can get you somewhere safe and fairly warm and Fluttershy will finally come out of the cottage and she’ll be overjoyed to see you. She's been cooped up for days upset about you. And it's going to be great cause I think I can make this into a great unofficial first birthday slash welcome back into existence party. Wouldn't that be great?”


“Party! What Party? And why wasn't I invited!?” I huffed breathlessly.

I tried moving my head to get a look around but that proved to be impossible. Just the same ol general blurriness around me.

“This is an important question. But do you think you can walk? Or crawl if you don’t actually know how. If not I can totally carry you on my back. Nod if you can understand me.”

My mouth felt incredibly dry. “Yyes”, I tried to say. But I doubt she could hear me. Like a mouse squeaking would probably be louder. With no other words to give I tried nodding. Then with as much effort as I could muster, I shakily raised these legs and fell back down on my belly.

“Right. Carry it is, if you wanna hold on try to keep your forelegs low and not too tight. But don't worry too much. This isn't the first time I gave another pony a ride.”

She picked me up by the scruff on my neck and gently set me on top of her. Her fur was very soft and it smelled like cotton candy with just a hint of vanilla. Just like my favorite perfume, funnily enough. I gently wrapped my arms around her and held on with a tiny bit of strength.

“Okay all aboard the S.S Mama Pinkie. Next stop is Golden Oak Library. Please keep your forelegs and all other appendages firmly in the upright and locked position until the ride has come to a complete stop.”

Her hooves clopped firmly against the ground and while she was busy moving, I couldn't help but wonder about something.

The name Pinkie feels incredibly familiar to me. Maybe I knew it from somewhere. Like I know no reasonable person would give their kid that name, but where would I have heard it before?

A rock and roll theme echoed in my head. Something something my little pony perhaps. But...rock and roll songs don't feature lyrics like that. And all of this thinking was starting to give me a really bad headache. Plus my stomach was feeling incredibly queasy.

“Okay we're here!”

Pinkie gently placed me down by the scruff of my neck onto some wooden floors. The floors creaked a little bit, but otherwise like some solid oak. I heard Pinkie talk with this other purple blurry thing that probably was a pony.

They exchanged words that I had trouble understanding what they were saying. All that noise in my head kept blocking it out. I heard some ruffling into a closet and Pinkie gently lowered a soft green blanket onto me. I saw them make weird motions at each; a hoof over the heart, a fluttering motion, and a hoof near the eyeball. Weird.

I wondered if they were going to give themselves an eye infection. Horse hooves can't be that sanitary. Plus it was so sad to hear about horse eye infections.

Pinkie walked right directly in front of me.

“I'll be right back! Parties don't invite ponies to themselves! Oh! But that would be a great idea! A party that comes to the ponies! That would be perfect for the party cannon mark two! I'll be back faster than you can say pickled pumpernickel pistachios!”

She then popped her head back in for a second.

“Whoops! Almost forgot to tell you your name! It's Strawberry Gentle Pie! Or it will be if Flutters agrees. We had this whole list picked out for you. Be right back with the party stuff for real this time.”


My head was feeling like it was going to explode. Additionally I couldn't focus too well. But everything I heard wasn't making sense. Everything felt like it was going swirly. And look pretty colors.


Pinkie was here again. Boom came from something within the room. Pink yellow cake, plentiful pink blobs appeared.


And soon enough there was clopping of more hooves. They were starting to gather all around me. Then I saw Pinkie have a spotlight on her.

“It isn't a Pinkie party without the guest of honor! Can you wave to everypony for me?”

Everything felt cold and I thought I heard something shattering. Then images popped up in my head.


Ponies all around me. Their familiar faces. Doll after doll. Each one taken away. No matter how much I pleaded. No matter how much I tried to hide them. And one by one, they were snapped in half by her. That awful old mean witch.

And now they're here. Here for revenge.

That's it. That must be the reason why they're here. They've come to do to me what she did to them when I was a little girl. I covered my eyes and lowered myself to the ground.

“It isn't my fault. It's not my fault”, I repeatedly said. Hoping that they would listen and go away and leave me alone. One of them was grabbing onto me. A yellow one. My personal favorite.

“Shhh Mommy's here. It's okay. You're okay. Ahem. Everyone out! And leave me alone with my baby if that's okay.”

I walked forward only to start feeling incredibly dizzy. I fell over and the world began turning dark.