Closer

by Avery Day

VIII – Pre-Chorus

{ Pre-Chorus 3 }

There was an inescapable air of melancholy on my last full day in Canterlot City. Twilight and I had spent the entire day alone, doing nothing but watching movies, eating takeout, and snuggling. It was the perfect kind of day for the two of us, but the mood was tainted by the fact neither of us wanted to face reality.

On most nights, we went to bed around midnight, but even as it approached two in the morning, we still weren’t willing to retire. Well, our bodies were, but not our minds. Even in our visible state of exhaustion, neither of us wanted to move from where we were, and it wasn’t hard to imagine why.

Twilight’s head was resting on my shoulder. Over the past couple hours, she’d fallen asleep on me multiple times. When she did, I’d nudge her awake, and she’d remain conscious for all of fifteen minutes before slumping over and falling asleep again. It was the most adorable thing, but each time I woke her, it tugged at my heart.

“Twilight?” Not for the first time that night, I poked her side.

“Nnnnhh,” she mumbled, sounding as annoyed as a nearly unconscious person could.

“Come on,” I muttered, “we should head to bed.”

A huffy, playfully irritated noise escaped from her. This time, I just responded by nuzzling my cheek against her head. She did her best to nuzzle me back from the angle she was leaning against me at. Before I had a chance to start getting up, Twilight wrapped her arms around me, keeping me in place on the couch.

“Twilight.”

She didn’t respond with words, only by sleepily nuzzling my neck.

“Twilight, for real. It’s really late and we should go to bed.”

“R-Right,” she mumbled, pushing herself off of me slowly. “Sorry.”

"Hey, it's okay, I get it." I replied, kissing the crown of her head. “No reason to be sorry.”

I stood up from the couch, expecting Twilight to do the same. Taking one step forward, I realized my pajama sleeve was caught on something. When I turned around, I realized it wasn’t caught on something, but someone. Looking back down at Twilight, I could see a sleepy, emotionless expression on her face. I gave her my best comforting smile.

“Twilight.”

She just kept looking up at me, those vivid, violet eyes surrounded by weary crimson.

“We should go to bed.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s go.”

Turning away to head toward the bedroom once more, my second attempt was cut short for the same reason as the first. Her hand was still gripping onto my sleeve. I turned to face her again, letting out a quiet sigh as I smiled at her again. Twilight’s blank facade was beginning to crack.

Anxiety comes in many colors. In this regard, Twilight is a rainbow. Separation anxiety was the hardest one for her to contend with, but far from the only difficult one. For as long as we’d been together, Twilight always struggled to say what was on her mind. It was something we could relate to each other on, even if we showed it in different ways. She was always worried about being too needy. If she wasn’t worried about being clingy, she was worried about rejection. If it wasn’t rejection, it was something else equally as irrational as the idea of me not being intensely in love with her.

For me, helping her deal with these feelings wasn’t always easy, but it was always rewarding. And, as weird as it felt to admit, and as much as I hated how her anxiety made her feel, some of the habits she developed as a result were endearing. I couldn’t help but find her anxious behavior adorable sometimes.

When Twilight couldn’t say what she meant, her actions would do it for her. Whether it was me getting up in the middle of snuggles to go to the bathroom, or moments like now where it was time for us to separate for a while, if Twilight didn’t want me to leave, she would rarely say it; she would show it. Her mouth may whisper goodbye, but her body would scream don’t go. It was every bit as cute as it was heart wrenching.

At first, she wouldn’t acknowledge it. She’d coyly pretend her body was acting on its own, or act as though she didn’t realize it was happening at all. And every time, I would look her in the eyes and smile at her. Slowly, she would blush, or crack a smile. Her eyes would bashfully dart away from my own. It was embarrassing for her, but it was adorable to me.

This time, things were different. There was no smile accompanying her sheepishness. There was no amount of endearment that could overshadow what this was about.

“Twilight…”

For a few moments, we held each other’s gaze. Eventually, her nostrils tightened, lips tightening as they fell into a frown. With a sigh of resignation, I sat back down next to her. She curled into me as I wrapped myself around her, holding her close. I ran my fingers through her hair with one hand, rubbing her back with the other. I planted a soft kiss on her head before tucking her into the crook of my neck.

The only way she was going to sleep was by crying until she was too exhausted to stay awake. And all I could do then was hold her. There were no words of comfort to give. By this time tomorrow, I would be gone. She would be alone again.

And so would I.

Comments

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

Turning away to head toward the bedroom once more, my second attempt was cut short for the same reason as the first. Her hand was still gripping onto my sleeve. I turned to face her again, letting out a quiet sigh as I smiled at her again. Twilight’s blank facade was beginning to crack.

She's probably doing it as she's sad Sunset is leaving in a matter of hours.

The only way she was going to sleep was by crying until she was too exhausted to stay awake. And all I could do then was hold her. There were no words of comfort to give. By this time tomorrow, I would be gone. She would be alone again.

Separation is hard and I know the feeling all too well.

[EileenSaysHi]

And it's Avery with the gutpunch! The readers are down! Repeat, the readers are down! Gods above, she's broken their hearts right in half, and it looks like she's still coming in for another blow!