Excuse me what the f

Great fic, great twst. Did not see it coming and was immensely surprised. Still incredibly wholesome.

I see this is marked as incomplete, is there more coming?

11451322
Yes, there will be more coming.
So, I don't really write clop. I'm not a fan of it. But, I like Pinkamena and have been watching a ton of serial killer documentaries. There is definitely a link between sex and murder for most serial killers and I wanted to write Pinkamena as more than a bloodthirsty killer.

So, this version of her is driven by something missing in her life that, at the moment, she relates to sex. Much like Jeff Dahmer, she is turned on by intestines. She is also preying upon ponies that may or may not go unnoticed if they go missing.

So this story is about Pinkie finding that thing she is missing. She's still a monster, obviously, but one that can possibly be seen as a tragic figure as well. A pony with serious issues that have gone untreated, failed by society and friends, and has become something she never intended but has little control over.

Chapter 1 was intended to be shocking because it was a look into Pinkie's current emotional and mental health. I needed her to be seen at her worst so that the rest of the story can progress. Based on the dislikes, that has been accomplished, but I kind of hate that so many have condemned it before seeing the rest of the story.

Thank you for reading what is out so far and being interested enough to want to see more. I appreciate your time and hope you find it worthwhile.

Also, thank you for the comment. Comments are the most appreciated notification for me.

Nice this is an awesome story!

11451536
Thank you. I'm happy you have enjoyed it so far. Chapter 2 probably won't take too long to knock out. It definitely won't be 8k words.

11451539
Yay

Wow. Fantastically written, with a hint of who our mane heroine truly is. Man, your writing really is next level; It's so well done I often lose myself in the heat of the moment. Literally. I, as always, can't wait to read more!

11452744
So good to see you again! I'm glad you enjoyed it so far!

I hope you have been well.

So, I decided that I didn't like the full story I wanted to write. For now at least I think this chapter one makes an interesting story by itself as it takes a more realistic look at what a serial killing Pinkie would look like.

For those who were interested in the full story, I'm sorry. I don't have the motivation to write out the whole thing.

11584729
Well that makes me a little sad, especially cause the um, "breakup" with Sugar at the beginning of the next chapter was very intriguing and rather poignant, as the shelf scene gave us a lot of insight into a hidden part of Pinkie. But as I've said in other author's stories before, the writing must come from a place of comfort and desire. So I 100% respect your decision.

As always, I look forward to anything you create.

11585226
Thanks!
It was going to be like 15 chapters and I thought the story took a turn that I have just lost interest in. It is what it is. I shouldn't start these long projects as I don't finish them. I just can't stay committed to one idea long enough.

Always good to hear from you.

I honestly expected this to happen, so most of the time I was like:"When will Pinkie strike?", so the story really build up the tension well in my opinion.
I am really curious though:how did this started?did Pinkie leave Ponyville and her friends out of guilt or because they started suspecting something isn't right?
I assume this will become a series...?

11610894
So, she left Ponyville due to the disappearances beginning to lead to her. There was some real suspicion on her. She probably had a conversation or two with the guard or investigators. The Cakes were likely asking her to leave due to a decline in business and she decided leaving was a good idea before she got caught.

It was going to be a series but I changed my mind on it. I think it works pretty well as a one shot exploration of Pinkie as a traditional serial killer. Not one who necessarily likes killing but because it's the only way she can get what she wants. In this case, it's sexual gratification with a dead body.
I may open it up to being longer but the original story isn't the one I would tell at this point. So I don't know.

Thank you for reading. I had fun writing it.

I can't comment on the murder itself, but everything leading up to it was really well done. It may be a bit biased for me to say this functions perfectly as a standalone oneshot because I had to check out as soon as the knife was revealed.

But I would suggest swapping the Profanity tag for the Gore tag. A couple of F-bombs is to be expected in a mature rated fic, but Violence and Death isn't quite enough to forewarn chowing down on intestines while fucking the still fresh corpse

11778821
I... didn't realize it wasn't there. Good suggestion.

I'd like to continue this story. I got into documentaries about serial killers and I think showing a more realistic Pinkamena is fun.

I don't particularly enjoy the clop part but sex and murder are intertwined in so many of the documentaries I've watched that I don't think it can be left out. Plus, I do like showing Pinkamena in a slightly sympathetic light. Yes, she's a horrible monster but it stems from a need for closeness that she wants but doesn't and can't understand. And control. Without going deep into her backstory, I think she needs control and exercising it over others is her way of feeling confident and powerful.

I had a chapter 2 for this at one point but decided I didn't want to continue that story. I could, but with some changes.

Thank you for reading!

I really wanted this Pinkamena to be a tragic monster

Um, missed it, at least for me. I´d really want to see her fighting her evil urges before i´d grace her with the adjective 'tragic'. Fighting them hard, and maybe failing. Here, she's embraced her monsterness and revels in it.

A very petty part of me wishes that the blow had fallen before 'Sugar' even started to reveal her real name. Why? Decloaking is a very vulnerable thing and this Pinkamena didn't deserve to know even part of her victim's real name.

All that said, the writing was excellent.

Confession: I was really hoping (but i knew better) that the item under the table was just a dildo. Sigh.

11808757
Lol.
I wrote a second chapter to this. I may repost it. Shows her dealing with Sugar's loss.

I was watching a lot of soak killer documentaries when I wrote this. One thing I got from them was how many of them struggled with hidden homosexuality to the point that they couldn't let a lover go for fear they would be exposed.

Obviously there was more going on as well such as wanting to control others and there were bizarre sexual fetishes such as intestines and necrophilia.

But, I wanted Pinkie to know what she was doing was wrong but was a slave to her very special needs. She wants a closeness with somepony but she can't achieve satisfaction without control. And, to her, the ultimate control is taking the life of another. Plus she gets to pull out all the party favors inside that really get her going.

It's sick, twisted, and, most horribly, based on several real serial killers amalgamated into one.

Or something like that. I can't quite remember what I was going for.

Thanks for reading and commenting. If you like twisted relationships, 'Our Love, Eternal' is screwed up.