This Sucks: A Story About The First Human In Equestria

by Justa Dooda

Magic AND Humans? That Sucks!

Darkness.

Inky blackness covered your eyes as your minded drifted into deep sleep. A dreamless sleep takes hold of you. Peace, Tranquility. The chance to unwind and let your body rejuvenate itself. After yesterday's events you really need to processes the quantity of alcohol. And so far your body was doing what it needed to do.

That is until the sound of foot falls enters your subconscious. Your primal part of your brain tells you this is a threat.

Adrenaline shoots your eyes wide open. Your eyes quickly scan the cottage room for any threats. Thankfully, you slept on your side and your eyes easily spotted the window. Your heart grows cold as your eyes spot it in the window.

Oh…oh fuck me…

You saw a humanoid shape in the window. Its face obscured by darkness and a dark cloak that looks like it belongs in a Renaissance Faire hiding any discernible features. Where the head should be was lightly bobbing left and right, maybe it was looking for something.

Or maybe someone.

The figure does a half turn and sprints into the dark without warming. “What the hell?” A confused whisper escapes your chilled lips. There is no way you didn't saw what you just saw. A peeping tom way the hell out here?

Fuck that!

You throw the sheets and quilts haphazardly. You stormed out the cottage and circled around where the figure was. The moon was setting, and you thought you might have a couple of hours before sunrise.

You take a gander at the area. Squinting hard in the low light. What you found was bone chilling, and made you question everything you knew about the past couple of weeks.

You spot tracks. More specifically boot tracks. A shoe size very similar to yourself. Maybe a couple sizes smaller than your own.

But…

They were one hundred percent Human boot tracks.

And to top it all of it leads into the Everyfree Forest. You want to investigate further, however you remember what Twilight said about the Everyfree, it's a dangerous and just weird spot in Equestria. Monsters like manticores would try to kill and devour you without hesitation.

Your hands begin to shake. You can feel a mild panic attack set in. The memories of fake humans disappearing haunting you. Also flesh eating monsters doesn't help either with the attack. And now this? Another human stalking you know? What was the reason for this? This has to be the most bizarre punishment the universe has set on you.

Another thought entered your mind.

Someone must be fucking with me. Right? Rainbow Dash maybe? But that can’t be right. She can’t be that vain about loosing to a stupid video game right?

…

Right?

Maybe they are not my friends, maybe it's a massive ploy, a joke or something sick! You turn back around and come back inside, forgetting the door frame was lower than you, smacking your head hard.

Fuck, damnit. Well maybe Fluttershy is still my friend she will see through this bullshit, or be on guard at the least right? She's my friend….right?

You curse and hold your hand over the wounded area. It felt bruised maybe but you don’t care right now, you need to get Fluttershy. If it was a prank from Rainbow Dash maybe she had some insight. You walked up the stairs and quickly found the only room with the door closed. Normally you would just knock, but this is freaking the fuck out of you right you. Weirdly enough the door was unlocked.

You enter her room and find the pegasus sleeping under a yellow orange cross pattern sheet with a fireplace of her own lit. The bed frame with wooden heart posts which you thought was kind of cute. And surprise surprise, there were plenty of little places for mice or birds to roost in the support beams of the upstairs bedroom.

You walk over to and place a hand on the covered pegasus. “Fluttershy, Hey Futtershy, wake up…” You whispered with urgency. The pegasus stirs.

“Windle?” She groans, holding her disheveled head with her fetlock on her forehoof. Yep, that's a hangover. “What…what times is-”

“Would Rainbow Dash do a prank that involves stalking?!” You interrupted her in a frantic voice.

“What…she…she can prank but she wouldn't sta—

“Am I the only human in existence here?”

“As…as far as I know of…you okay Windle you're scaring me.”

“Come with me,” You turn around and down the hallway. A very sleepy pegasus eventually followed behind you with a lit candle in her cloven fore hoof. “They are tracks there fucking tracks, TRACKS!” Your voice slowly reached more and more panic as you processed the very recent events. "And something was watching me in the night, and, and…” You stop dead in your tracks. You look at where you were but a moment ago..

No…

No this can’t be right. This is impossible.

A warm candle light bathed behind you and gave you a clearer image. In front of you, right now. Is nothing.

No tracks.

No footprints.

No human remnants of your stalker.

Just cold undisturbed earth.

“It..it was right here, no there was a person, a stalker they had a cloak and-” you sputtered, trying to rationalize the situation at hand.

Fluttershy looked where you were frantically pointing. “Windle…if this is a prank it's not funny.” Her voice was stern and unamused.

“No, it was a guy! A person and actually fucking person!” You place your hands on your temples. You feel your heartbeat increase, your breath becomes frantic.

There were tracks right here and you knew it. You just saw with your own two eyes. It can't be a dream you were wide awake. How are they gone?

Is someone fucking with me?

Was Twilight lying to me?

Maybe there were other people, other humans around Equestria and my ‘friends’ were keeping it from me?

I can deal with critters and nasties at night. That scar is proof I can... okay not really.

But monsters would run or be skittish from ponies. People? That's a different story.

If magic is a thing, can that other guy do magic?

Oh my god, someone is out there, another guy fucking with me, and he has magic! Humans, and Magic. No no no nononononono!

And worst they are covering their tracks, no one gonna believe me, no one!

And hes fucking with me, hes in my head!

If he's in my head, then that means he knows what I'm thinking and what I'm doing!

Im fucked! Im soooooo Fucked!

Oh god, what do I do?

What should I do?

What can I do?

Is it getting harder to breathe right now?

More and more thoughts raced through your head faster and faster. Your your throat clenching from panic.

You don’t know if you can take this any longer.

Just before a full fledged mental breakdown took hold of you you felt a strange cloven hoof take your hand. You whip your head with dilated eyes to see a disheveled but still kind yellow pegasus squeeze your hand.

"Windle. Hey Windle…breathe just…breathe." She flared her nostrils and she made an exaggerated but intentionally slow inhale, followed by an equal slow exhale through her muzzle.

You tried to follow suit but it wasn't working fast enough. It started to really set you in a panic. Tunnel vision slowly inched its way into you and the urge to just crumple was strong. However Fluttershy was there for you. Her strange ability to press her will onto you was helpful.

"That's it, Just breathe in, breathe out…there you go."

Slowly the adrenaline took its course. Your vision became your own once again. Your heart rate is no longer climbing into your throat.

After a moment to recompose you spoke "Fluttershy I swear, I swear to you on my life there was some other human stalking me or at least keeping tabs on this place!"

A wind breeze gently kissed your sweaty panicked brow, sending a chill down your body.

Fluttershy went in for a hug, her warm cheeks pressed against your own, "It's okay Windle, I don't know what was out here, but no creature would fake such a mean and horrible prank. I believe you, but right now it's not around," she yawned. "And we both need to get some sleep."

She released the hug and picked up the candle from the ground, blowing it out. She gestured to you to come back inside. The look on her face looked tired, but also genuine fear. She must have believed you to an extent.

When you did you went back to your makeshift bed. But Fluttershy stopped you.

"Oh wait, let me get settled in here.”

She fluffed up your pillows and she laid on your pillows? She looked up at you, the fire from the living room slowly but burning away catching her gentle eyes, patted her stomach beckoning you to rest.

That is weird, "Oh…okay…isn't that uncomfortable for you?" You asked scratching the back of your head unsure what to make of this.

"A little, but I want to make sure you get a good night's rest." That is the kindness you have ever heard from someone. You climbed into your bed and gingerly laid your head on the pegasus pillow.

"Comfortable?" She asked as she wrapped her wings around you.

"I guess…" What came next was a warm sensation on your scalp and hair. You turned your head and from the corner of your eyes you watched the pegasus pillow giving you oral administration to your hair and scalp. You were about to protest how odd this is, but a wave of pure relaxation washes over you.

It dawned on you this was what she must have been doing when you were out for so many days after your near death experience. You let out a low sigh as your eyes slowly covered her eyes once more. The last thing you heard was a giggle from Fluttershy.

"Goodnight Windle."

---

This time sleep was not so gracious to leave you be. You had terrible nightmares. You were in the Forest once again running for your life from not only a manticore, but a dire manticore. A beast straight from the depths of hell!

You think you made your escape into a cave to watch your breath, only to have an arm wrapped around your throat.

Choking, you see a hooded figure. A human jaw with a smirk on his face looks down with villainous intent. He whispered something to you as you struggled for your life, but you didn't hear it. With a quick movement he placed both hands on your head, twisting your head violently breaking your neck in one sickening movement. A flash of pain before gravity takes you as its victim. Your vision fades to black.

---

You shot up from your sleep. Cold sweat drips down your body, moistening the sheets you slept in. You checked your neck to make sure that part was just a terrible dream.

Yup you're still alive, no broken neck, still breathing and still in Equestria. Well alive for now that is. Maybe your stalker can be in your dreams as well?

Oh joy…

Your eyes catch a cuckoo clock mounted on the wall. Seven a.m. it has been awhile since you were awake this time.

Yup sunrise, no magical language today. That's fucking sucks.

Yes indeed it sucked, but you knew that your new pony friends had a glimpse of who you are as a free person of thought. Surely that they will treat you like an equal, an alien equal but an equal all the time right?

Regardless of this irrational fear, you wondered where your comfort pegasus went off too. She was gone when you awoke from your nightmare. From her being the Element of Kindness it's hard to believe she wouldn't have stayed with you the entire night.

She did mention a sanctuary the night before. But are there even more animals she takes care of?

Well time to go on a hunt. She did promise you a way back to Starlight to re-up your magical transaction. Walking into Ponyville with no way of asking for directions wouldn't help.

Your stomach growled in protest for its daily nourishment. That's a problem too, not knowing how trade works here. You vaguely remember Twilight saying about paying the tab in bits later, whatever bits mean.

With hunger driving your steps you walk out the door hoping to find this sanctuary and finding Fluttershy as well.

---

Well know that was relatively simple. Who knew that just following a dirt path even further away from Fluttershy's home you would find what you were seeking.

This place was massive, filled with way more creatures that hung around the cottage. Looking down from a hill you see jungle gyms, swinging tires, every little nick nack or burrow was here even palm trees were growing out here! Any animal big or small would find refuge here.

A thought passed your mind while treading carefully down the hilltop to find your quarry. A new and terrifiying thought entered your mind.

If Starlight never put that magic on me, and I never went into the forest, would Fluttershy put me here with wolves, giraffes and God knows what else takes rest here?

Fate is a fickle bitch for some reason. But at least she gave you a bone this time.

Interestingly when you made it to the bottom you many hosts of creatures created you. This was pleasant. What surprised you was there was a group of jackalopes, jackalopes! Rabbits with little antlers on them. That is the coolest, cutest critter you have seen so far!

One of those critters hopped up to you, a little baby jackalope. Your inner child couldn't help himself as you knelt down to pet the little guy.

"Ahhh look at you, you so fucking cute yes, yes, yes, you are!" Your voice is way higher than it should be. The baby jackalope deeply enjoyed the ear scratches. A clear sign of it was its leg thumbing madly at the ground.

Oh be still my aching heart. This is too cute!!

"Oh Windle I didn't see you come by," you heard Fluttershy voice gently approaching you.

“GAH! Oh Fluttershy,” You let out a cough trying to play off your embarrassing moment. “Ahem, So this is your Sanctuary? It’s…” You paused and took a look again. It was actually exquisite. Judging from the critters here as well, they think the same.

“This is beautiful, Fluttershy.”

"Oh thank you, it took a lot of work, and a lot of ponies almost destroyed my vision, but I put my hoof down and it turned out exactly the way I envisioned it."

Wait a minute.

"Isn't it early to take care of them all this early?" Surely she didn't directly respond to you did she?

"Oh I would've normally slept in a little more but Larry the cockatoo wasn't feeling well so I had to look after him." Fluttershy cranes her head back to wave at a very bright bird that was singing a mighty song. "But he seems to be doing better now!"

No fucking way.

"Pickle popper peanut brittle?" You cocked an eyebrow continuing with your experiment.

Fluttershy returns her gaze into you. Confused, she asked, "Pickle popper what? I…what?"

"AWWW! Oh thank fucking god you understand me! I thought I have to do a whole song and dance just to get to talking to everyone again!" You hastily picked up the butterscotch pegasus and into your arms hugging her tight.

"Windle. To. Tight. Please." The pegasus struggled to speak.

You snap out of your joyous haze, "Oh shit right. Sorry." You put her down. She looked up to you even more confused. It hasn't dawn on her yet.

"The spell, it's still going. Or something. Maybe. I don’t know." You wave your hand dismissively.

Fluttershy blinked. Then she made an 'O' with her muzzle as she figured out your behavior, "I didn't even notice! Oh that is so wonderful! Maybe Starlight made a mistake and made it permanent?"

"Don't know don't fucking care!" You raised a middle finger to the sky, "FUUUUUUCK you universe! I still win! Ahahaha!"

Fluttershy eyes squinted at you with a tilted head. If she was confused before, she surely is doubly confused now.

"It's ahhhh I'm… HEY you said you wanted to go back to teaching right? When does that start?"

“Oh it doesn't start until—” She looked up at the sky. “Oh goodness we better get going, I lost track of time! We might make it in time before my class starts!” She darts back to get a saddlebag with her Cutie Mark embossed onto it. “Come on Windle we need to get going!”

“But, I didn’t ea—”

“We will eat when we get there, hurry!”

Well alright then off to the school. Maybe they have food?

---

You and your pegasus companion walked at a brisk pace. You two were making good time, which was good! The faster you get there the faster you can gorge yourself on some food. Maybe get some meat!

Well that's highly unlikely with the herbivore that make up most of the population. But! You did see a griffon come and go from time to time. They are part cat, they eat meat don’t they? We shall see.

“I wanted to ask, you were not sleeping well, did you have some kind of bad dream?” Fluttershy spoke bringing out your hungry haze.

“Wha? Oh yeah. I didn’t have the best dream last night. Usually I don’t dream, just close my eyes and then a new day starts you know?” You place a trepid hand over your chest, feeling the rough scar tissue underneath your toga.

You didn't have to say anything but Fluttershy didn’t press further beyond that. You were thankful, you don’t want to burden her even more knowing that you were having dreams of death on top of having something stalking her home.
Speaking of which.

“Hey um, Fluttershy?”

She hummed in response.

“You seemed alright knowing that something or someone… creature… whatever, was outside your place.”

The Element of Kindness stopped in her tracks.

“Fluttershy?”

There was a pause before she spoke with a shaky voice. “W-well I..I know sometimes c-creatures from the Everfree come out at night, but they don’t hang around for long.”

That doesn't answer my question. “Ya but, you believe me right? That someone like me—” you gesture at yourself, “—was outside your home looking in like a Peeping Tom?”

“I believe y-you, it's just i'm trying really…really hard not to think about it.”

The timid mare was trying so hard not to break down. Good job Windle, you made this sweet pony act just like how you were last night.

“I…um..I didn’t mean too, I just thought maybe—”

“–I-it’s fine. Really Windle it’s fine. I'll just…ask some of my animal friends to keep watch…things will be fine…” Fluttershy cut you off and started to brisk walk down the path.

Fuck me, that not good. Things are definitely not fine!

You sighed and followed.

Some friend you are.

Comments

[FanOfSun]

"This Spy has already breached our defences"

[Killjoy1221]

11449722
It could be you, it could be me. It could even be... Discord

[Justa Dooda]

11449904
11449722

God knows I feel old knowing those references...

But glad you are enjoying my mystery so far