This Sucks: A Story About The First Human In Equestria

by Justa Dooda

This 'Fluttershy' Sucks!

Sleep is a funny thing.

Sometimes you remember what you dreamed of, other times you just close your eyes and then you open them again, ready to start the day anew.

Well it turns out last night, you did have a dream.

You dreamt that you woke up in a dark and foreboding forest. A forest that you knew like no other. Surrounded by the sounds of foreign night life all around you. You felt fear deep within your gut.

Then if it couldn’t get any worse you were attacked!

You fought valiantly, with mighty jabs and vicious uppercuts against this tiny little lion like creature. This ‘lion’ tried very hard to eat you, however your brawn and brilliant tactical skills were no match for this lion.

But it seems you got stung by this lion with its mini scorpion stinger.

“What the hell? Sense whe- whoa…I'm gonna be sick…”

You fall to the floor of the forest flo-

Wait…no you fell through the floor of the forest. You let out a scream but no words came forth. You reach out at the rapidly diminishing entry hole, hoping you can just reach it.

Wait, do you see a head of some kind peeking through that hole. It's strangely equine but bigg-

---

Gasp!

You shoot awake from your odd nightmare. The aching muscles of your chest protested against the sudden jerk. Cold sweat drips from down your body. You look around thinking you were still in the forest. A sigh of relief escapes you remember that you were safe in this cottage. The wooden boards moaned as you shifted your weight, followed by even more when you struggled to get to your feet. Your whole body is terribly sore but the urge to pee has taken precedence. You flinch as you notice that your right arm is bandaged up and in a sling. I didn't know I broke my arm. But then again I do remember getting hit hard against that tree.

Why is it so cold? You paused when looking down at your naked body. Oh.

You take a look around; this place is crawling with little critters. Birds. Ferrets. Mice. A whole menagerie of little critters both big and small are taking no heed of your presence. Just minding their own business, though some curious rabbits where looking at you with big cute black eyes.

This cottage, now that you really look at it, is uniquely outfitted to house all the critters. Tiny stairs that lead to holes. Many bird cages are placed on the walls. The owner must really like animals. Though maybe a little too much.

Taking a gander around this humble abode, you were hopping to find your clothes somewhere this this place but to no avail. You don't see anything that would constitute indoor plumbing. So no bathrooms or washing machines.

Well that sucks.

Your bladder calls to you. Well there is always nature I guess. You see a small door that is maybe made for a kid or a gnome of some kind. You groan as you unlatch it; what you gaze upon is quite surreal.

It was a sunny clear day out. The temperature was quite warm, almost as if you were at the beach. There was a trail that led over a natural made bridge over a small stream. Look up at the architecture of the cottage to see that the roof is made out of grass with many windows and bird houses nestled in the grassy topped house. Yup, this is some kind of gnome. I got saved by a gnome, resting inside of a gnome house.

Great.

You make your way over the bridge and find a spot to relieve yourself far enough away from the trail to this cottage. Don't want to be disrespectful, though in gnome culture you don't know if it is bad or not to take a piss outside one's house.

While relieving yourself your ears hear the sound of horses again. It sounded like it was getting closer to you. Turning your head, you spot the source.

A trope of pastel horses, well ponies, trotting along the path that leads to the cottage. Two of which were flying with feathered wings. Leading the way was one that you recognized, but the others you don’t. It was that flying pony with the cream yellow coat! Well now it's broad daylight it seems it has a more grayish gold to it then yellow. And it's mane is more of a light grayish rose.

From here you can just make the outline on its flank. It seems it was branded with three butterflies in a triangle formation with pink wings that are the same color as its mane.

Recent memory was retrieved to the surface. Yes, you defiantly heard that horse that is flying spoke to you.

You shake your head as you finish up. Impossible, but gnomes are a thing here. This very logical thought was challenged and conceded.

From the distance you heard the grayish gold pony speak with its trope, “He's been asleep for a week now? I-I was worried that the manticore poison would be t-to much for his fragile body. Thank goodness I had just enough antivenom at home!"

Manticore? That must have been the th- wait fragile?!

You hear a pony that seemed to respond to the grayish gold pony, a light gray coat pony with a horn on its forehead, it's mane an indigo color that seems to go over its face then naturally curls in on itself at the tip. A pattern starts to emerge as there was intent behind the style of mane. When it responded, you heard it speaks in a foreign language. But it had a unique accent, something from an old movie of sorts, something from the lines of black and white; of where exactly you don't remember.

"Oh I learned it from my mom when I got hurt trying to practi- oh Windle!"

The grayish gold one stared at you with wide eyes. The trope stops to peer at you.

SIX! Six of these ponies with different hues, different appendages, all of whom were following the grayish golden one. You counted two of them that have wings, one of them has a horn, two of them are just ponies and the last one that caught your attention was one that had both wings and a horn.

The grayish gold pony flew up to you, "Windle you are supposed to be resting!" It eyes where wide with anxiety as it spoke to you.

You give the pony a dumbfounded look, "Uhhh…" Did it call me 'Windle?'

"Hey, don't you complain to me about the mattress size, get back to your bed mister, you might hurt yourself!" It gently flew close to you grabbing you by the shoulder to turn you around in the direction of what you assumed to be its home.

Layers of confusion started to stack on upon you. "I'm complaining? I didn't say anything." What the hell is going on here?

One of the other ponies that had no wings or horn walked up to your right side to lean on you. This one was interesting, it was an orange, no a gamboge coat along with having a light grayish olive mane in a French braid in the back and just a simple tuff that covers her forelock; finally her tail was long and was a scrunchie at the end of its tail which was interesting because how on Earth did it do that with no fingers? You noticed that it had a brilliant sap green color to its eyes and freckles on the corner of its eyes.

Freckles. Thas is actually kind of weirdly cute.

Adorned on its head was a simple Stenton cowboy hat. This one spoke as well in that same foreign language but you pick up an accent of some kind of cowboy drawl to it. Wait, is this the pony that you were placed upon when you fell unconscious?

The cowboy pony pointed with its fore hoof to the house as it leaned on you looking up at you to take its cue to start walking.

The grayish golden one nods, "Thank you Applejack I don't want him to fall and open his stitches up."

I have stitches? "No it's fine…I….I can walk…" You trip over your own words. They are talking, talking to you, sentient ponies are talking to you! You have to be dead and this is the worst afterlife of them all! What's worst, is that the others don't understand you, you can't understand them, But the flying one speaks perfect, albeit meek english.

The grayish gold one patted your head with its frog "Windle, Applejack is trying to help you, be a nice little umm….guy and let her take you back to rest." It gave a silly grin and closed her eyes, you can swear that the way she shut her eyes also gave off a smiling. You debate if this is endearing or disturbing of this avian pony's mannerisms. You felt Applejack gently nudged her flank against the back of your knee. Your knees buckle at the bump

"Gah" you say surprised by the strength of this pony only half your height. "N-no wait hold on a second what the actual hell is going on right now!" Your throat tightens. "I need answers!"

"Windle, I know you are upset and ornery for being sick from a nasty manticore stinger, but can you please go back home and rest? You will feel so much better I promise you." The grayish golden pony eyed you with concern.

"Did you not hear me?" Your frustration grew. "Tell me where the hell am I? Who are you?"

The flying pony responds with a raised brow, "I..I don't know what a 'Laca'bone' is...?" Her voice timid and submissive

Laca what?

You were taken aback, blinking a couple of times trying to get a grasp of this situation "I...what..." You paused to collect yourself. You need answers, so you pressed on "Please I just want to know where the hell I am. And ill gladly just go back home and take a rest." You point your thumb at the cottage.

The flying pony put both of her forehooves in front of her mouth completely flabbergasted at you said to her. Then her face contorts, her nostrils flair wide. Her small innocents looking eyes quickly shift to a harden look.

"WINDLE!" The pony shouted at you with the voice only a mother can scold a child. "You are being very disrespectful right now! You are in my house and I am taking care of you! You have the nerve to tell me that I am an evil pony? A that wishes only bad will on you? That I am going to eat you alive!"

What you hear was the trope of colorful ponies gasps at what you said. One particular one with a dark flowing and sheen lavender mane and white coat seemed to get on her hind legs, her foreleg pressed against her forehead and proceeded to make the most dramatic faint you have seen. It could of awarded for best performance.

You meet your brows together. Confusion swept across your face. What? Did I say something weird? Is asking question a bad thing?. The grayish golden pony got up into your face, glaring deeply into you.

You jerk your head back. You just wanted answers and you ask politely. You put your working arm up defensively. "Whoa whoa whoa, hey I didn't say anyth-"

You stop yourself as your vision seems to hone in on this ponies constricted hard eyes. Those moderate cyan eyes looking at you. No. Through you, into you. You can feel such domination seep into you very being, it seemed oppressive, on so many levels. It strikes fear into your heart of hearts. But this is a new kind of fear.

You thought running away from what they call a Manticore was fear, but this?

No no no, this was something more primal, something deep within you that was not liking what she was doing to you. This sweet soft spoken pony is now glaring you down with the weight of the world crushing your willpower into fine powder.

Oh God. I fucked up, I fucked up something fierce!

This feeling, it is as if dread was personified in front of you right now. This is hell! You are in hell! This pony sucks so goddamn much right now! She is the devil incarnate! All your sins laid witness to bare before her. The golden devil is now your judge, jury, and executioner!

Gulp.

She continues her reign of terror over you, “All of my friends were so scared that you were going to get hurt or worse! I wrapped you up; sleep near to to make sure you are stable; groom you to make sure you hair is well kept; and this is how you act? You should be ashamed of yourself Windle! Ashamed!” She angrily points to a shaky forehoof at her home. “Now go and take a rest or so help me I will spank your little bottom until you are sore!”

You were frozen in time. A strange urge swept over you, it wasn’t a fight or flight, more of a shame and embarrassment. Kind of urge that has a strong will over your being. Were you being a dick to the person, to this pony that saved your life? But the circumstances would justify your behavior. You opened your mouth to try to make amends for your crimes.

However, your human legs seem to start moving and taking unconscious authority over you with one foot moving in front of the other. Well that didn’t get far. There was a weight to each step. As if someone was forcing each foot with thick bricks roped around at the ball of each foot. Behind you you look back as you see 'Applejack' look at you with an apologetic look, than a nod as she returns to it's trope of ponies.

The grayish golden pony gently hovered above her trope, they started back up whatever conversation they had before, "S-sorry...I didn't know he was that cranky..."

You reach the frame of the door of the house with a head hung low when you heard it.

You turned around to spot the source of the sound. There was a pony that was pink. That's it. All she has was different shades of pink for her equine features, reminding you of a treat you used to have when you were back on earth a long time ago. And this pink pony with the mane that puffed out widely. You see that somehow she was on her hind legs and playing a bugle horn. The music was bombastic and energetic. An insanely high tempo to boot.

You blinked. Was it impromptu or did she have this piece memorized? It was nice, you could dance to it or maybe hear at a concert of some kind. It has some familiarity to yet you can't place your finger. Though, why would this pink pony just start playing music out of the blue. You turn around and walk back into the cottage sighing heavily.

“Hey, after this performance you're up next buddy.” an ethereal voice calls out to you.

You look around, “Hello? Who ar-ARRRGHHH!"

You shut your eyes taught, gritting your teeth as you fell to your knees.

Searing pain starts at the base of your skull then rooted out across the innards of your mind. Your eyes start to slowly get foggy as you feel yourself faint into blackness took a hold of before fainting into your bed.

---

Music.

Music was flowing into the auditorium filling your ears with such joy. Beautiful music reaching out to entertain the masses that have no idea what they are hearing. Some people pay good money just to hear a bunch of overly dressed people blowing into an overpriced price of coiled metal.

This music making is ridiculous.

It bothers you so much that you are roped into terrible mess. However, it also brings you joy. Joy that you put in much time and effort into one specific overpriced coil.

It sounded stupid and you knew it was, why would anyone think it was fun? Well you do, for some reason you just like to play on this over priced piece of metal.

You like it so much that even against your own wishes to not be here, but at home, or the local bar, or anywhere but here. You chose to be here tonight dealing with this tremendous amount of anxiety that plagues you. But you are here because it makes you feel good that all your hard earned time went into one skill you can repay with giving a reason for people to forget about their own troubles for tonight.

It's a fair exchange in your mind.

From the corner of your vision sitting backstage of an old performance stage, your friend entered the backstage; he parted the ragged purple cloth that was supposed to be a curtain. He mouths out words but you don't process them.

It breaks you out of a trance, "Huh what do you say?" You looked up blinking your eyes into focus.

“Hey, I said after this performance you're up next buddy, Are you sure you are alright man?" your friend arching a brow at you.

---

Your vision creeps back into full view. Your sight focuses on the hard wooden floor of the grayish gold pony's cottage. You groan as you can almost feel your eyes burning from inside your skull sockets. Lifting your head you let out a sigh that at the very least you fell on top of your makeshift vet bed. Fucking migraine, jeez fuck...what...what the hell was that?

You get to your knees and roll into your new bed. Yup this was real. You are still stuck here, wherever 'here' is. Well the dreadful pony told me to rest, so its time to rest.

You shifted around your bed trying to get comfortable. Your mind wonders about the ponies and the way the spoke. Was it possible that they understood you about your plight being in this place of existences? Does the golden one really understand you?

Maybe, they were smart creatures, they conveyed so much emotion with just their eyes and faces and that grayish gold one was talking to you but not directly to you. Maybe it's a weird language barrier? Well if it is then asking for help directly might not work.

But she spoke English. Maybe she can read English. If she can read English then I can ask for help! You smiled at this plan, only to be reminded there was a big problem with that plan.

You look at your bandaged arm. Well shit writing is not gonna work either. You turn your body to face the closest window. The day was still bright and cloudless. You sighed. What the hell was that I heard too. You place your hand over your throbbing head, gritting your teeth are the pain. I swear I heard that before but where? These thoughts were weighing you down. Unfortunately it was apparent that there was nothing you could do about it now. Right now you are very much banged up, in pain and in no room to do anything to improve your situation. For now maybe grayish gold pony is right.

Resting might be good for you.

You close your eyes and try to drift to sleep.

This place sucks.

Comments

[SUPERETHAN2]

Was interested in this fic, but Flutters seems out of character here and jumped to the stare too easily for me to tolerate. Well, I am someone who hates the overpowered stare anyway, but seeing it done here is perhaps the worse I have ever read. At least in most fics where it's done the human or oc is actually doing something more serious to warrant it instead of simply asking for answers. I think I am not going to read further if this is the kind of characterization I am going to get.

[Justa Dooda]

11413873
Fair enough sorry to here that, if this wasn't your cup of tea no problem. And thank you for the criticism

[White seal]

What even is this characterization? It's so bad and out of character for fluttershy to behave like that it instantly throwed me out of the story

Also seriously fluttershy you possibly take "animal" out of they're natural habitat while they are unconcious and when they ask questions you punish them like it you would punish discord or a dragon while you don't even know that they sapient, not to mention YOU CAN SPEAK TO ANIMALS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TALK TO HIM???

ALSO

"WINDLE!" She broke you off and stared at you with vicious intent. "You are being very disrespectful right now! You are in my house and I am taking care of you!" Those eyes, those moderate cyan eyes looking at you. No. Through you, into you, It strikes fear into your heart of hearts. But this is a new kind of fear. You thought running away from what they call a Manticore was fear, but this?

This.

[Justa Dooda]

11417080
... Well damn them ...

Thank you for the criticism for an out of character thing for Fluttershy in an alt universe story with a twist on her ability to speak with animals. Perhaps I didn't convey the strange coviet of this situation, but, I will take this into consideration moving forward.

[White seal]

Alt universe doesnt'e excuse characters acting like morons and even if it did why even make a big deal out of it if she won't use it anyways and still treat him like shit? Not to mention it's not the talking with animals ability that i am mad about, it's because she is behaving like idiot

[Justa Dooda]

11417151

👍

[Justa Dooda]

11413873
11417080

Well I might to a slight tune up here on their with this edit, hopefully this is al little better than my little blunder.

[SUPERETHAN2]

11417542
You didn't fix my fucking issue! Thanks for getting my hopes up only to make me be even more disappointed . While you tried to make her using the stare more justified if doesn't work since he really didn't do anything wrong and is falsely blamed for shit. That's still wrong. Either remove her using the stare or make it actually a bit justified.

[Justa Dooda]

11417785
Well unfortunately there is an impass here sense this stare will come up at a later chapter that I have planned to make it full circle.

Regardless it seems you are not enjoying my musings. Fair enough I tried.

Cheers