Flim Flam's Famous Freakshow

by Jest

The Strongest Mare

He smiled and leaned forward, cupping a hoof to his ear. “What is the variety hour you might be asking? Why it is the most magical, mystifying, and mysterious collection of performers ever gathered in a single location!”

“We have the strongest mare in Equestria,” he smirked and leaned in a little closer as if telling the audience a secret. “Though I’d say she's a shoe-in for the strongest stallion too.”

The audience snickered while Rarity merely groaned to herself.

“But that's not all, no not even close!” shouted the stallion, rising back to his full height. “We also have the largest pegasus ever to walk the earth, an earth pony who can read your mind, a pegasus who can talk to any animal, and last but not least we have the fabled Twilight sisters.”

Rarity watched as the other showgoers whispered to each other in hushed tones, leaving the journalist rather confused.

“Now without further ado, put your hooves together for Applejack the strong!” shouted the stallion, subtly slipping off the stage as the curtains pulled back to reveal the aforementioned earth pony.

Several weights rested on the ground around her, each one labeled with bright white paint indicating their weight. There was also what looked like a cannon as well as an oversized scale near the center of the space. Now alone on the stage, Applejack bowed low to the crowd before turning and gesturing towards a rather hefty kettle weight.

The crowd grew silent as the earth pony approached it and highlighted the listed poundage of two hundred and fifty. She then proceeded to grab the weight with a single hoof and lift the entire thing off the ground with practiced ease. Instantly Rarity couldn't help but feel a little impressed, as well as a little worried for the performer’s safety given that she was holding it above her head.

As the journalist scratched out a few notes on her pad of paper, Applejack trotted over to the scale and placed the weight upon it. The numbers on the scale shot up, stopping after reaching two hundred and fifty pounds even. Applejack lifted the weight once more, curled it a few times, yawned and placed it back where she had got it.

The crowd chuckled at the strongmare’s antics but quickly quieted when she approached a much larger weight. The numbers five zero zero were clearly painted across its side, though Rarity quickly deduced that that must have been false. Nopony could lift that much with a single hoof, not even the absolute unit of a mare standing before her.

And yet, after spitting into her hooves and rubbing them together, Applejack did just that, hefting the weight above her head in a single, practiced motion. The crowd was silent, as they watched Applejack stand there, a smirk on her face as she held the weight aloft. She then trotted back over to the scale, where she dropped the weight, shattering the entire thing and causing a spring to shoot into the audience.

Applejack winced comically and shrugged to the paying customers who erupted in laughter and applause. Rarity however was too busy making notes to offer up applause of her own, her pencil flicking rapidly across the page. On stage, Applejack swept the broken scale and weights aside before pointing to the cannon, a smirk on her face.

The audience grew silent once more, watching curiously as the enormous earth pony grabbed a large black cannonball from just off stage. She then tipped the cannon up, dropped the ball inside, and moved the piece of artillery so it faced her once more. She then drew forth a match from her hat and glanced over at the audience with a knowing smile.

Rarity found herself transfixed, staring with wide eyes as the performer lit the match, then the fuse before calmly walking in front of the firing end. The reporter wanted to yell at the performer to get out of the way, but she stopped herself before opening her mouth. This was a show after all, and though she got the feeling Flim Flam may be willing to risk Applejack’s life for a quick buck, the mare herself didn't seem the type.

And so Rarity sat there, watching as the fuse slowly burnt down while Applejack merely rose onto her back legs. With forelegs extended, Applejack’s gaze narrowed, her entire body tensing up as the fuse began to burn low.

A dull boom shook the tent, and Rarity watched in twisted curiosity as Applejack somehow managed to catch the enormous orb. Though she slid back a few feet, the earth pony seemed unharmed and raised the cannonball above her head after a moment of silence. The crowd cheered, stomping or pounding their hooves together while a few mares and a single brave stallion whistled at the pony.

After basking in the praise for a moment, Applejack placed the cannonball aside and walked into the center of the stage where she bowed low once more. The cheering continued right up until the curtain descended and the scrawny stallion returned to the stage, a wide smile on his face.

“That was quite something, wasn't it folks?” he shouted.

The crowd cheered, and Rarity politely clopped her hooves together.

“If you thought that was strange and fantastic then just you wait until you see what we have in store for you next,” the stallion chuckled. “No she is not a beached whale, nor is she some pampered Canterlot noble pulled fresh from her mansion. She is Rainbow Dash, the world's fattest mare!”

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