Call of Pony: Modern Prank Warfare

by Stalin with Da Spoon

Saving Private David [Deployment]

[Sweet Apple Acres, 9:50 AM.]

WHACK!

"OW!"

WHACK!

"SHIT!"

WHACK!

"HOLY CRAP IT HURTS MORE THAN THE LAST!"

David's cries fell limp on the ears of Rarity, as she continued to spank the human with her stick, as she heard Rainbow snickering at the pain of the human.

"Well maybe you should've thought about that before you tried to prank us darling!"

"But you guys pranked me first, it was in retaliation!"

Rarity was about to object, before realizing that David had a valid point.

"Oh dear... I suppose we did deserve it didn't we?"

Rainbow dash shook her head and blew a raspberry.

"Yeah, but still, nobody pranks Rainbow dash and gets away with it!"

"But I fixed the damage I caused didn't I?"

"Yes yah did, but that don't mean your still off the-"

Suddenly, a faint knocking was heard at the closed barn door, as everyone quickly quieted down, as Applejack looked to her friends, as they nodded and she approached the door, and slowly opened it.

"Hello?" As she slowly cracked open the door, she saw nobody inside, but something quickly flew through inside the open door, as a small metal cylinder object landed on the ground. A slow ticking was heard, before-

BANG!

Applejack was blinded, and rendered almost completely deaf by the burst of light and noise. Rainbow and Rarity met the same fate, as they covered their eyes. David had been facing away from it, and as such only took a bit of hearing damage, so he could faintly hear the sound of the barn wall being busted open with a large sledge hammer, turning to see four human operatives wearing black uniforms and tactical rigging complete with assault rifles loaded with bean bag rounds as they proceeded to break through the opening, one of them wearing a ski mask that David quickly recognized, as two of the operatives quickly let David loose from his binds and got him off his feet, as Hoot put his hand on David's shoulder.

"Can you walk, soldier?"

"Pretty sure my leg's are asleep. Thank god you guys got here in time, or else I would've had a fully red ass."

"No worries mate. Now then, Badger, Grouse, get him to the LZ for evac." Hoot then put a hand on his radio as he turned it on. "This is Hoot-1 to Anon-1, we have secured David, I repeat, we have secured David." As soon as he got off the radio, the barn door burst open, as four more operatives entered the room, as three of them pulled out zipties, and quickly tied together each of the ponies legs. All this before the ponies could even fully recover from the flashbang. As Rainbow finally came to, she was both surprised and terrified by the sight.

"Huh-Wuh- Who are you guys!?!" As he said this, the familiar of voice of Anon spoke as he stepped forward, pulling down his mask to reveal a smug smile while Dash glared at him.

"You just got dunked on by Task Force 420, baby. Now let's bug the fuck out, were on borrowed time boys."

Hoot nodded as he reached for his radio. "This is Hoot-1 to Burger-Actual, we have the bag, over."

"Roger that, EVAC is inbound, ETA 1 minute. Recommend you haul ass and get to the designated LZ, cause chances are we may be landing hot."

"Copy that." Hoot shut off his radio, as he signaled for his men to get moving, as David smugly waved bye to the struggling mares before being helped out of the barn through the front door. As the squad left the barn, they then quickly made a mad dash through the apple orchard, with David's legs slowly waking back up, as he then began to run at full sprint like the rest of the squad. As they approached the end of the orchard, they saw a large blue vortex open up in the sky, as a Bell UH-1 Iroquois AKA Huey Helicopter flew through, as it descended to the ground with it's door opening.

Back inside the barn, Applejack had used her sturdy legs to strain the zipties around her hooves, finally managing to completely snap them, standing up and going to help break Rainbow and Rarity free before they all ran through the hole in the side of the barn wall, charging after the squad.

The team of operatives quickly moved towards the helicopter, as David looked behind them to see Applejack, Rainbow dash, and Rarity, as the two mares were rapidly charging at the squad, with intent to re-capture David. Hoot noticed her too, and simply turned around, firing off two beanbag shots right at the ground in front of them, as one missed while the other bounced up and hit Rainbow directly in her left fore leg, sending her tumbling to the ground, with Applejack and Rarity stopping to check on her and make sure she wasn't hurt.

"She'll be fine."

David shrugged as Anon proceeded to shout. "GET TO DA CHOPPA!"

After a few more seconds of running, they had reached the helicopter slowly hovering a high distance above the ground, as everyone proceeded to boost each other up inside the helicopter, David following last as he leaped up by himself towards the chopper and gripped onto the edge of the copter, his grip slipping before having his arms grabbed by Hoot and Anon, as they pulled him back inside while the helicopter door closed.

Applejack could only watch as the helicopter climbed into the air, as it proceeded to go through the large blue portal it had come through, as it then sealed shut behind them.

"WAT IN TARNATION!?!"

"They got away!"

"Those ruffians took David too!"

"And we weren't even finished with him!"

"Ah reckon we oughta tell Twilight about this..."

[Back at Alpha Base...]

The helicopter exited the portal as it closed behind it, before landing on the small landing pad below it, as it's rotors shut off and it's doors opened, allowing the squad to exit as they began cheering.

"Woo yeah! Take that ponies!"

"Humanity for the win!"

"Yeah, mission accomplished!"

"That's a new record for fastest extraction yet!"

Hoot then turned to David, as he gave him a pat on the back.

"You did a fine job pranking those ponies on a solo op, soldier. But now, we do it together, got it?"

"Roger that, sir." Hoot nodded, before turning to Badger.

"Badger, get your squad together, it's time that we plan a little payback."

"Oh man, you can SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!"

"Oo-rah!"

Comments

[Tomat]

You’ve peaked my curiosity with the first chapter, now you have my full attention.

[EvilTreerat]

Hmm. Ponies that can dish it out but not take getting dumped on by professionals. Yes this is worthy of a like and follow.

And... time to get Prank-tical!