Trials and Tribulations

by Divide

Chapter Three

Trials and Tribulations

Chapter Three: Contact

Seth was exhausted. He's been power walking for nearly 3 hours until he found any signs of people. He decided to take a quick break and think about what happened to him. He was almost eaten by a giant cat-scorpion thing, he almost pissed his pants after encountering a cockatrice, and practically had a heart attack after a yellow and pink pony nearly trampled him out of fear and ran off.

"Fuck!" he said aloud. "I gotta pick my routes more carefully next time. Haven't had that much trouble in a forest since I tried playing Slender." He shivered.

Seth decided to keep going until he found a landmark or some sort of village. He walked for another fifteen minutes before seeing the top of a stone structure. He grinned and turned his music up even louder. He started jogging towards the stone structure, but was distracted when he heard a feminine scream coming from the forest on the right side. He turned off his music immediately. He thought to himself, I hate this fucking forest, but I hate leaving someone in trouble. Damn my chauvinistic nature.

He steeled himself and checked his coat pockets again. He felt a slight bump right under where his heart was. Gotcha, he thought. He reached inside his suit and out of the hidden pocket pulled out a tiny .38 snub nosed pistol. It fit into the palm of his hand perfectly, almost as if it was made for him. It was made for me, he thought bitterly. I had it made in case of emergency, and this does constitute an emergency situation.

Gun in hand, he forayed into the forest, searching for the owner of the scream. As he was searching, he heard several more screams which came from somewhere in his immediate vicinity. As he rushed forward, three small multicoloured ponies came running straight at him. Seth hadn't the time to swear before he was bowled over.

Seth came to not two minutes later, face down on the earthen floor of the forest. He groggily sat up and started checking his bones for breaks or fractures. Satisfied that nothing was immediately wrong with him, he sighed, put his gun away and went back to the forest trail to resume his journey towards the stone structure. He thought about the screams and the small ponies, but didn't put two and two together. He shook his head wearily and continued his journey, stopping to eat some berries he stumbled upon.

It took another two and a half hours before he reached the village. He stood there, at the edge of the forest, taking in the sights, sounds and smells of the place. His brain clicked, realizing this looked eerily similar to that cartoon his daughter had been watching. What was it called? he thought. My Little Horse? No, too easy. Friendship is Wonderful? No, that wasn't it either. My Little Pony? Yes, that was it. Wait, WHAT?! Why am I in a children's cartoon? What the fuck is going on?

He started to panic, but managed to calm himself down. Calm down, calm down, he thought. There has to be some reason I'm here. He paced back and forth for a couple of minutes, thinking on the subject. He suddenly stopped and snapped his fingers. "That's it!" he said aloud. "This is my punishment. I have to live here in freakin' Ponyland for God knows how fucking long, until I learn whatever lesson it is I'm supposed to fucking learn."

Saying that out loud made him realize that talking to himself was getting him nowhere. This is just my fucking luck, he thought to himself. Of all the many possible intelligent races out there on all the goddamn planets in our entire fucking Universe, I had to put on the one that doesn't actually exist. Fucking perfect.

He hated where he was, but that didn't change the fact that he was stuck there. Seth made up his mind to go into the town, ask directions on how to get in touch with their leader, and see if he/she could get him out. He nodded to himself, and started walking towards Ponyville, Smartphone blaring music as he walked.

Unbeknownst to Seth, he was being followed by three curious fillies, members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders to be exact. They didn't know what he was or if he was dangerous, but their better judgement was overruled by their need to know. After the creature seemingly made up its mind and started to head towards Ponyville, music included, the Cutie Mark Crusaders (hereby will be referred to as CMC) decided that they better warn the inhabitants that a strange and possibly dangerous monster was coming towards Ponyville.

Seth, oblivious to this, made it to Ponyville unharmed. As he was bracing himself to enter the town, he was extremely startled by the fact that there were six fully-grown ponies floating in a magic aura, all staring intently at him. The purple one (whom he assumed was the leader) cleared her throat and said, much to Seth's amusement, "Be gone, creature of the Everfree forest! Be gone, and we won't have to hurt you!"

Seth couldn't believe what he was seeing. Surely those berries he ate earlier weren't hallucinogenic, but he studied medicine, not botany. I'm in no mood for this bullshit, thought Seth. He turned up his music as loud as it would go, hoping to drown out any more potential hallucinations, before briskly walking towards the Ponyville entrance.

All Seth heard was “We warned you” before he felt like gravity had tripled and a flying bus crashed down on him. It was the most intense experience of pain he had ever felt, and it stayed that way for about 15 seconds. When it was over, he sat up, wincing. His vision had gone blurry, but he could see and feel enough to know that several of his ribs were cracked, one of his teeth was chipped, and he was bleeding out of one ear.

Miraculously, his phone was unharmed and was still chortling it music through its speakers. Seth turned it off and slipped into his pocket. He attempted to stand, but only managed to get into a kneeling position. He stared at the still floating ponies and said loudly, “Fuck me, but I thought this place was full of caring and friendship. If I knew it was full of assholes and bullies I would’ve stayed on my own goddamn planet. Fuck.”

After hearing this, the six ponies floated down and came over to Seth slowly. He could hear a mix of voices. Some were amazed that he could speak, some didn’t want to take any chances, and some were wondering how bad he was hurt.

At least they care enough to not kick me when I’m down, thought Seth bitterly. “If you’re going to kill me, get it over with. I might actually have some peace and fucking relaxation.”

The purple one trotted over cautiously and said, in a surprisingly clear voice considering it was from a fucking pony, “Sorry for hurting you, but you didn’t respond in any way so we assumed you were a monster from the Everfree forest.” She, for it was definitely a she, said, “Also, what, err…are you exactly?”

Seth just kneeled there. Finally, he responded by saying, “You know what? Fuck it. I’m done. You hear me?! DONE! I’M FUCKING DONE!” As he finished yelling to the sky, he collapsed due to his broken ribs. The purple pony, Twilight, sighed and said, “C’mon girls. We better take him to the hospital.”

The blue one, Rainbow Dash, shot back, “Why are we taking a monster to the hospital? He blatantly ignored us. So uncool.”

Twilight shot back, “Dash, he’s obviously intelligent. I mean, come on, he spoke to us in our own language. Yes, I realize he was angry, but apparently we hurt him badly enough for him to warrant us killing him.”

Cowed, Rainbow Dash sighed, nodded, and flew back to her home of Cloudsdale. The rest of the ponies went back to their respective homes, storing their amulets of harmony for another day.

Alone and burdened with a strange creature not of her world, Twilight went to the hospital to get medical attention.

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