An Assassins Change

by ChillaxBrony

Chapter 1

An Assassins Change Chapter 1

Please note that this is my first story and I would appreciate any constructive response given.

The night was cold, raining harshly upon his cowl and robes. The wind was gentle though. Gentle to the point of ticking each ponies skin and fur. Very few lights were on in ponies homes, which made this easier for this stallion to sneak upon his prey. His hidden blades were locked in bracers, an out stretching of his hoof and wrist would activate the blade. His bracers were on the outside of his robe, this, for him, made it easier too keep his robes from catching a loose nail or rock or branch. His target was a high class, rich, and overly dressed for everything kind of pony.

A few lights went off in the distance, that measure of darkness will be the perfect place too execute his devious attack. Checking his blades, MetalHoof stops and goes behind a corner, making his hoof and leg one length. The blade shot out silently, not a sound came from the unsheathing of the deadly weapon. MetalHoof looked around the corner and saw the target getting closer to the near pitch black area. Sheathing his blade, MetalHoof started too walk again, this time a bit faster but not a single step was heard.

The target was in the killing zone. MetalHoof went closer and closer until he was but a hoof away, his steps not making a vibration or sound still. MetalHoof rose his right leg and straightened it, the blade shot out and craved the kill. MetalHoof shot down his leg and stabbed the pony in the spine, rendering the pony of motion and ability too do anything. MetalHoof stabbed again, this time, a blow to the throat. The blood and gore washed out onto the ground, and the pony that was killed fell over, not able to do anything about the blood gushing out and not able too scream for help.

MetalHoof dashed away, at one puddle, putting the blade into it and be ridding of the blood. His black robe now had a small splatter stain. Metal never liked his belongings too become dirty or remotely touched. But it was a thing he had come too live by, it was just excessive amounts of stains or something of the sort drew him insane. His bracers were also stained deeply, but he had many more in his home.

An hour passed and MetalHoof felt a cold or maybe pneumonia coming along. ‘Damnit. Again with being sick, I need to move from canterlot, this place will kill me from disease not bloody guards.’ MetalHoof thought, gently closing the door behind him. His walls had pictures of each and every target killed. He was pleased with his works but he didn’t want to always be an assassin. He wanted too actually become a professor in anatomy. The body absolutely intrigued him and how, even though exhausted, the body could keep pressing forward, seeking that prize in the end. But that knowledge is what lead him too killing.

MetalHoof walked slowly to the shower, he needed a near burning hot shower, he was freezing cold and required warmth.

*Knock knock knock*

The door banged. “Yeah hold on, I’ll be with you in a sec.” He called. Frowning that now he must wait too get a warm feeling in his body.

MetalHoof opened the door. Two guards stood there looking at him. “Hello citizen. We are in need of your time.” One of the two said, his voice wasn’t very intimidating, his mother had a more frightening voice.

“And what might I be able to do?” MetalHoof replied, letting the two in. This was his lobby, not his “office”.

“Well it has become apparent that killings have risen lately.” The right guard said, his voice, now his could be dominating if he was taller and buffer. “And we are ordered to alert everypony in this district to be aware of the local assassin.”

“Oh yes I have noticed, and I was thinking about leaving town anyways, for the capital city of Equestria it is sure violent.” MetalHoof played off the scenario like it was nothing.

“That is a wise choice sir.” The first guard replied. “And just be sure too keep an eye out for any suspicious ponies late at night. The killer has been targeting the most random ponies. So be sure to be prepared.”

“Oh yes sir. I’ll be sure to.” MetalHoof again played his role as a scared citizen perfectly.

MetalHoof showed the guards to the door and let them out. After waving goodbye MetalHoof shut the door and went into the bathroom too finally begin a warm bath. MetalHoof entered the bathroom and cranked up the water heater nozzle, steam spewed out of the shower head and rained what may have been lava if you weren’t freezing cold, but the super hot pellets of water, when clashed into the freezing skin, made Metalhoof cringe with the feeling of being punctured or jabbed at with needles. This feeling quickly dissipated and soon he was onto cleaning himself. His mane covered his eyes. The two colors, graphite gray and coal black, shrouded his vision. His fur, was a weird shade of red that even he couldn’t describe., and his cutie mark was a surgeon's knife going through a skull and in that skull was a scroll. He had a tattoo up his front right leg. It has stripes like a zebra. This wasn’t just any tattoo though, this kind was made specifically to be with fur, so it would be like a zebras fur (except for the gray/ white base), with all the stripes and what not.

Thirty minutes later MetalHoof stepped out of the shower and went into his room, where his drenched robe laid on top of a chair that really needed to be thrown away from water damage and consistently having things thrown at it. His bracers were no different from the robe. He quickly tossed them into the trash and put the blades onto his desk that had a stamp and a file. He stamped the file making it read “Success”. MetalHoof looked back too his bed, it looked inviting but he needed to make sure he actually had enough bits to leave. He wanted to leave the city of Canterlot too a nice settle town. Where nothing surprising happened. Where... He didn’t have to kill too make his way through life...

MetalHoof closed the file and shoved it forward a bit and brought up his last one that he said he would do. Kill the richest pony in the richest part of town. A simple enough mission. But this required time that he had and money he didn’t have. MetalHoof looked back into his closet, a suit worth more than 15 missions was hung and looked a bit dusty. He quickly nudged it with a hoof and some dust flew off. ‘One last time.’ He thought and went too sleep. His mane flayed back and all of his belongings spread across his “office”. 'Just one more time...'

Comments

[Landlord Of Parties]

You know what? I'm tracking this. One recurring error I notice is how you use the word "too" instead of "to" pretty violently. Also please stay away from words like "super" or phrases like "the pony that was killed," they make readers cringe. Interesting goal for MetalHoof so far, and I really like his cutie mark!

[thatwheelchairguy]

Was wondering when we'd see a story from you. Following.

Edit: You need to learn when to use too and to in proper places. Also. Don't be afraid to use he, him, and his instead of using his name all the time.

[ChillaxBrony]

1301654

Yeah sadly i messed up in and gdocs wont let me change it . I messed up one day so "too" replaces "to". so now i have to spend alot of time looking for every little "too" but next chapter wont have that problem

[ChillaxBrony]

1303612

Yeah its about time i got a story out, and the "too" problem is from gdocs. i miss used it one day i meant to auto correct and not add to dictionary. (facepalm) but yeah i'm workin on the he, his, and him thing. I'm used to using names consistently becuz of papers.

But yeah there will be edits in the next chapter

[SPkon107]

Kon here awsome story i haveto read more
Spartan-107 out