Posey has to perform community service to make up for her crimes. Sprout has to watch her. Only problem is that Posey secretly has a crush on the dopey stallion.
Poor Sprout. Jeeze Sweets is absolutely diabolical here pulling Phyllis' strings and talking about Posey, Jazz and Rocky as though they're worth less than roaches. At this point I don't think there's anything about Canterlogic that can be salvaged.
I've not seen any of Gen 5, so I'm afraid this story is rather beyond me and as such is unlikely to be something I'll read.
But I wanted to pass on big love for the chapter titles. Embarrassed to say I had to Google the Sanctified one. I managed lines from NIN songs in a couple of stories, but I love the idea of the lyric excerpts as chapter titles. Best of luck with the rest of the story!
Hey that's totally fine. G5 isn't for everyone and the constant use of NIN titles was just me having fun with it- the Sanctified one took me a while to fit to the chapter because that particular chapter was pretty important to get the tone right and that particular line worked the best. Thanks for even doing a quick glance.
11889046 This chapter took a lot of time to work out because of that entire middle scene. I even spent time rereading to make sure this idea worked with older chapters and decided that it made sense- Sweets always being there and being the main connection Phyllis has to the outside world. It made too much sense not to do something like this with how the story was shaping up.
Poor Rocky. He needs serious help. Really sucks that he took a major beating just before the crazy mare is told to cool it. I hope Jazz can help nurse him while they are detained together.
And sounds like sprout needs to break into jail with Posey… for a variety of reasons and only one is the problems he’s running into solo sleeping. Although with how much crazier Canterlogic is looking over the recent chapters, I dunno if he’s likely to have much success getting in again for anything less than a major take over.
And that final scene feels like a set up for pipp making use of her coltfriend for things and helping with work and livestream stresses. I was rather surprised that no hitch too. Maybe hitch can become her mod when she goes live solo..?
But yeah, great chapter. I look forward to where this tale goes next.
I don't get it. Weren't Posey and Jazz arrested for assaulting Rocky? Then how on earth did he, a victim, end up being imprisoned and tortured?! It just makes zero sense, and while this story does have comedy elements to it, it's not used as a gig either. It just made me loose the whole point of what and why was happening in this chapter.
Re-added a few ideas lost in the editing process shuffle, but the gist is Sundance is so used to coercing a "good" outcome in her eyes and her conditioning made her a bit naive and stunted that the thought of "I can't be wrong, these two have an illicit friendship bond that Canterlogic would condemn." She failed talking to Jazz (I had cut a planned scene of them interacting more but I thought that was a bit too similar to the Posey scene doing a similar back and forth) and she went to the extreme of doing what she does to Rocky to see if Jazz would change her story.
She doesn't so we see the aftermath of that,
Was it told perfectly, probably not, but at some point barring some edits, I thought it worked okay. Doing character shorthand can be a difficult thing to fully parse when going from the idea in an author's head to the page.
11889703 Ah, illegal fraternising. Everything makes sense now, thank you. I understand it's hard to keep track of everything, just wish it was mentioned somewhere. Also, I loved the twist that there's now a third person involved in this race for power and it throws a huge wrench in Sprout's plans.
Poor Sprout. Jeeze Sweets is absolutely diabolical here pulling Phyllis' strings and talking about Posey, Jazz and Rocky as though they're worth less than roaches. At this point I don't think there's anything about Canterlogic that can be salvaged.
Hiya,
I've not seen any of Gen 5, so I'm afraid this story is rather beyond me and as such is unlikely to be something I'll read.
But I wanted to pass on big love for the chapter titles. Embarrassed to say I had to Google the Sanctified one. I managed lines from NIN songs in a couple of stories, but I love the idea of the lyric excerpts as chapter titles. Best of luck with the rest of the story!
Celestia is dead and no one cares.
11889049
Hey that's totally fine. G5 isn't for everyone and the constant use of NIN titles was just me having fun with it- the Sanctified one took me a while to fit to the chapter because that particular chapter was pretty important to get the tone right and that particular line worked the best. Thanks for even doing a quick glance.
11889046
This chapter took a lot of time to work out because of that entire middle scene. I even spent time rereading to make sure this idea worked with older chapters and decided that it made sense- Sweets always being there and being the main connection Phyllis has to the outside world. It made too much sense not to do something like this with how the story was shaping up.
Poor Rocky. He needs serious help.
Really sucks that he took a major beating just before the crazy mare is told to cool it. I hope Jazz can help nurse him while they are detained together.
And sounds like sprout needs to break into jail with Posey… for a variety of reasons and only one is the problems he’s running into solo sleeping.
Although with how much crazier Canterlogic is looking over the recent chapters, I dunno if he’s likely to have much success getting in again for anything less than a major take over.
And that final scene feels like a set up for pipp making use of her coltfriend for things and helping with work and livestream stresses. I was rather surprised that no hitch too.
Maybe hitch can become her mod when she goes live solo..?
But yeah, great chapter. I look forward to where this tale goes next.
I don't get it. Weren't Posey and Jazz arrested for assaulting Rocky? Then how on earth did he, a victim, end up being imprisoned and tortured?! It just makes zero sense, and while this story does have comedy elements to it, it's not used as a gig either. It just made me loose the whole point of what and why was happening in this chapter.
11889461
Re-added a few ideas lost in the editing process shuffle, but the gist is Sundance is so used to coercing a "good" outcome in her eyes and her conditioning made her a bit naive and stunted that the thought of "I can't be wrong, these two have an illicit friendship bond that Canterlogic would condemn." She failed talking to Jazz (I had cut a planned scene of them interacting more but I thought that was a bit too similar to the Posey scene doing a similar back and forth) and she went to the extreme of doing what she does to Rocky to see if Jazz would change her story.
She doesn't so we see the aftermath of that,
Was it told perfectly, probably not, but at some point barring some edits, I thought it worked okay. Doing character shorthand can be a difficult thing to fully parse when going from the idea in an author's head to the page.
11889703
Ah, illegal fraternising. Everything makes sense now, thank you.
I understand it's hard to keep track of everything, just wish it was mentioned somewhere.
Also, I loved the twist that there's now a third person involved in this race for power and it throws a huge wrench in Sprout's plans.