Awareness and acceptance

by SV_Dragon

Part 1

Author's Note:

Hello, reader!
There will be approximately 3 parts in this fanfiction. It is unlikely to be more, although everything is possible.
Again, constructive criticism is welcome. Enjoy reading!

A cold, chilly wind was blowing through the streets of Ponyville. The sky was rapidly being covered with a veil of gloomy clouds. Ominously approaching clouds promised a slow and heavy rain. Residents of the town hurried to take shelter in their houses, others walked slowly, contemplating the gray sky.

Dejected by his thoughts, the dragon quietly trudged towards the Golden Oaks Library. He wanted to get home faster, but his thoughts were shackles slowing him down. Dragon was immersed in a recent conversation with Rarity.

Today was the day Spike confessed his feelings to her. It happened in the morning, less cold than this evening. The dragon was going to tell her about it over a cup of tea when they were talking in the kitchen. Well, in reality it was exactly like that. After a long but uncomplicated work, they drank fragrant tea made from a set of herbs.

Spike clearly remembered this moment: after five minutes of quiet conversation, he left the table and stood in front of the fashion designer and said: "Rarity, I want you to know: I love you. But not as a friend. As long as we have known each other, I have loved and love you, you are a special pony for me."

After these words, she looked at him in surprise for a couple of seconds, and then smiled sweetly. She was amused by the behavior of her scaly friend. Stifling a giggle, she just stroked his head from the top of his head to his cheeks.

"Spike, you will always remain my best friend. You are a young and cute dragon. One day you will make happy a special pony or dragoness, but not me. I do not know if a dragon can be with a pony, I doubt it. You're too young and inexperienced. You're not ready for a serious relationship. I'm sure that a kid like you will succeed, your cute, romantic–like games will definitely turn into advantages..." - she continued to say something, but Spike was no longer listening. He was touched by the first words, and the subsequent ones, of which there were many, passed him by.

Her words cut into his mind like a spear stuck under the scales, right into his heart. The dragon restrained himself so as not to give vent to feelings right on the street. The upcoming rain might have masked the treacherous tears bursting out, but the dragon did not want to release emotions now when anyone could see him.

He was already halfway home. According to his assumptions, it was about eight o'clock in the evening. There was only a short way to go before running into the library, going up to the bedroom and burrowing into the pillows.

"Twilight must not guess what happened today. Not until he tells her himself," he thought to himself.

Spike no longer wanted to remember the event in the boutique, he would prefer to forget everything that happened like a terrible dream.

"Our relationship would never have changed. At the very beginning I didn't understand it, I refused to understand it. It wasn't obvious to me. Even if someone would have said what it was all about, I ignored all the words. Twilight called it a childhood crush at the time and didn't take it seriously. According to her, it should have passed in a couple of months, no more. She was wrong. And Rarity was wrong too," the dragon thought to himself.

"The latter called me a child who will not soon understand the true essence of true love. What nonsense. She sees in me only a blinded puppy, wishful thinking. She will never understand that it was true love. A love that was only in my head.

It's a pity that I realized this only recently. The realization of the inevitable came a couple of weeks ago. It was getting closer, gradually. I should have understood her true attitude towards me earlier: Rarity perceived my attempts at courtship as sweet politeness, gradually she took it for granted. My help was always appreciated as friendly, Rarity only took advantage of it, and sometimes abused it, knowing that I would not be able to refuse.

Only recently I began to suspect where everything is going, or rather, where it is not going. Our relationship is not going anywhere. Over the past week, I have gradually begun to understand what I should have known at the very beginning. It was stupid to hope that something would change between us. Now I understand that nothing can happen between us. It's just not possible, not with her attitude towards me. In her mind, I will never be suitable for her. Whatever I am, I will always remain a friend to her. Too young and... unsuitable.

Spike stepped up the pace. He was in a hurry to get to the library as soon as possible. The first clap of thunder startled him, the dragon shuddered and slipped, almost falling into a puddle. Small drops of rain were already falling on the roofs and streets. The subsequent thunderclaps caused the young dragon to flee. The rampant fury of the elements made Spike forget about what happened in the boutique. The already confused and confused thoughts that swarmed in his head subsided, replaced by fear of a thunderstorm.

Why now? Why today? Why should a dragon, already upset and crushed in his feelings, shudder and be afraid of the thunder that is coming and increasing each time? He was always afraid of thunderstorms. It was like mocking him today. Another heavenly roll made the dragon shudder and fall to the ground, getting dirty in a small puddle.

The rain was already pouring down in full force. The drops, like metal needles, cut into the dragon's body. A slightly soiled Spike sat on his knees, then got to his feet.

"It's good that it wasn't a big puddle that I met a few seconds ago, at least some luck," the dragon noted to himself.

Spike got up and continued his run. It seemed that the road from the boutique to the library had become many times longer than usual, or it just seemed that way to him. Not wanting to indulge in worldviews, the dragon focused on running. The house was already visible in the distance. A series of thunderous peals caused the dragon to stop and shrink in fear, covering his head with his hands.

Being at home and hearing the thunderstorm was scary, and being on the street right during its greatness was terrifying enough that the dragon lay for a couple of minutes before trying to get up. However, a new rumble made him shudder and cling to the ground again. There was no fear that lightning might strike him. Twilight said that the discharges hit the highest objects. It was a whole lecture about atmospheric electricity from a lavender unicorn. Spike then listened to her with interest, as it was fascinating for him. However, now was not the time to recall the lecture in its entirety. Getting home was the only and main goal.

The dragon rose on his hands and looked towards the library, which was slightly hidden by a dense curtain of rain. The drops hit the scales, the strength left the dragon, he was already pretty tired, and further movements would have been much more difficult for him.

The last thing he felt before he closed his eyes and felt his perception of the world leaving him was the sounds of hoofbeats approaching behind him and a magical grip enveloping his entire body.

Comments

[Starswirl the Beardless]

So, you've taken the risk and written a story about Spike's one-sided love for Rarity, a premise that has been done to death both in the show itself and in fanfics. If you want to make a story like this appealing, you really have to come at it from a new angle that will hook your readers in. For me, at least, that hook wasn't there. Based solely on what I've read so far, this story seems fairly generic, and consequently, I have no real desire to read further. I realize you plan on writing more, but it doesn't matter how good chapter two is if readers drop your story on chapter one.

If I were you, I'd really make sure this story has some sort of hook or at least something new or interesting in store for the next parts. Aside from that, my biggest concern is that your dialogue sounds very out-of-character, which is one of the fastest ways to take your readers out of a story. Try your best to fix that in subsequent chapters, and perhaps spend a little more time proofreading to avoid the sort of minor grammar/punctuation errors I noticed in this first chapter.

[SV_Dragon]

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Your main thoughts are clear. Well, thanks for the comment.