Rainbow Dash Goes to School

by Stormin Away

Pilot

Rainbow Dash lay calmly in her bed as the sun slowly peaked above the horizon. This bed however, was not her usual cloud-home bed, but the bed a simple two-bedroom house close to Manehattan. After a few more seconds, an obnoxious beep sounded from Rainbow's alarm clock which sat on her nightstand. Rainbow Dash tried to shrug it off, but eventually resorted to smashing it with her hoof, making the annoying sound stop. Rainbow slowly sat up on the edge of her bed and let herself wake up,

"Ugh, first day of school..." Rainbow Dash mumbled to herself as she breathed slowly and heavily. Eventually, Rainbow got up and made herself some coffee. Soon, she grabbed her ready coffee and went to sit down on her sofa and sipped it slowly. In the middle of her morning haze, Rainbow had remembered something: she had acquired a letter before she left Ponyville saying that all students enrolled in Manehattan High School had to be in their homeroom no later than 8 o' clock. Shocked by this memory, Rainbow quickly looked up at her clock, which read 7:59,

"Fuck" Rainbow quietly said to herself, then dropped her coffee mug on the ground and bolted out the front door of her house, spaztically running.. Running through the streets of Manehattan and avoiding moving chariots, Rainbow Dash finally made her way to Manehattan High School. She busted through the front doors and smashed through ponies that were still in the hallway. Eventually getting up to her homeroom, Rainbow slowly sat down at a desk in the front of the room. The teacher at the podium however, was speaking what sounded like random gibberish, but Rainbow could make out,

"Sit down and all that shit" the teacher said to his 1st period class. Rainbow was exhausted from having to sprint all the way to school, so she let her head fall onto the desk and continued sleeping, "My name is Mr. Cool and I'll be your Italian teacher for this year" The teacher identified in a very dull voice. Just then, a pink pony with a bubbly mane sprung to life from her slumber,

"MR. COOL! THAT'S SUCH A COOL NAME! I WISH MY LAST NAME WAS COOL!" This pony annoyingly yelled, obnoxiously laughing after saying that. Mr. Cool just disregarded this and kept talking,

"Now, to take attendance, Lyra..." A toothpaste colored unicorn on the far side of the room raised her hoof, "Bon bon..." Mr. Cool said again, and a tan colored Earth Pony sitting in front of Lyra raised her hoof, "Rainbow Dash..." Mr. Cool called to the sleeping pegasus, "Rainbow Dash..." Mr. Cool said again,

"HEY FAGOLA HE CALLED YOUR NAME!" The obnoxious pink pony yelled, making Rainbow Dash awake,

"Wha..." Rainbow said in confusion,

"Oh! Are you Rainbow Dash?" Mr. Cool sarcastically asked. Just as Rainbow was about to say something,

"HER REAL NAME'S GAY SLOWPOKE BUT WE CALL HER RAINBOW DASH BECAUSE WE'RE COOL!" The pink pony butted in, laughing annoyingly after,

"Yeah, whatever" Mr. Cool boringly said, "Pinkie Pie..." Mr. Cool added on,

"PINKIE PIE'S NOT HERE, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP, BEEEEEEEeeeeEEeeEEeeeeeeeeeeep" Pinkie Pie yelled in response, letting her head hit the desk again,

"That's Pinkie" Rainbow said to Mr. Cool, motioning her hoof back to the sleeping pony,

"Okay class, that's the attendance for this year-" Mr. Cool was saying before being interrupted by a white mare with a frizzy blue mane in the back of the room,

"Woah, did you have too many bottles of vodka? You forgot me DUDE!" this pony yelled up to the teacher,

"Oh, ok, Vinyl Scratch..." Mr. Cool quietly said back. Just then, Pinkie started yelling random Italian gibberish before the bell sounded, making everyone pile out the door of the classroom. Pinkie however, spaztically flew out of the room like someone throwing a ragdoll with a lot of force.

--

At both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie's 2nd period class, a fairly casual looking pony stood in the doorway of a classroom. Rainbow Dash simply walked in and took her seat. Pinkie Pie, however, flew in at a very high speed, knocking the presumed teacher off his hooves. As the rest of the class came into the room, the teacher randomly appeared behind the podium at the front of the room,

"Sit your fat asses down you packs of huge vibrators!" The teacher yelled out uncaringly, "Look at you little shits, with your Rainbow manes, your faggy ass cutie marks, and your oversized wings, and your pointy ass horns, and your sexy coltfriends, and your hot sport chariots, and your stupid sense of humor, you fagolas make me sick. Literally, SICK! Hold on, let me call the doctor" The teacher said in a strange voice. Rainbow Dash just stared in confusion at what the teacher had just said to the class. Pinkie however, annoyingly laughed at the statement,

"THIS COLT'S MY KIND OF FUNNY!" Pinkie loudly stated,

"Well you know what? Your face is funny!" The teacher exclaimed while throwing a boot at Pinkie's face, though she didn't seem affected by it, she now had a blank face,

"Hey, that's not nice" Pinkie said in a normal voice for once,

"Your mom was not very nice either!" The teacher shouted back, Pinkie still had a blank expression. Then, a cream colored pegasus in the back of the room shyly raised her hoof, "What the hell do you want!?" The teacher shouted to the back of the room,

"I... um... um-" The pegasus quietly said, but a random boot came out of nowhere and hit her in the face,

"That's great. Now, back to my fucking retarded speech, which I never started because these fagolas threw me off my groove, especially you, you dicksponge" The teacher stated, motioning towards Pinkie, who still had a blank face, "My name is Mr. Higglesworth, and if you do what I tell you to then you all FAIL!" Mr. Higglesworth said to the class, laughing very awkwardly after. Rainbow Dash just gawked, having no idea what was up with this teacher, Amongst the teacher's laughter, "Ah, fail, it's such a funny word!" Mr. Higgs said before resuming laughing. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a stallion whispering into another student's ear, "NO TALKING! F!" Mr. Higgs shouted before throwing a clipboard at the stallion's face. Looking towards the front of the room, he noticed Rainbow Dash doodling on a sheet of lined paper, "Oh look! Looks like we have an artist in the class! Let's see how bad her drawing is!" Mr. Higglesworth commented. Snatching Rainbow's drawing, he carefully examined it. The picture was an incredibly detailed portrait of Rainbow Dash and Spirtfire embraced in a tight hug. Mr. Higglesworth laughed obnoxiously at the sight, "Not only an artist but a lesbian!" Mr. Higgs continued laughing as he chucked the piece of paper out the window, which it somehow shattered it like a rock and landed outside. The stallion who was caught talking came straight up to the psychotic teacher,

"HEY! That is uncalled for!" The stallion scolded to the teacher,

"Well since this fagola talked in class, POP QUIZ!" Mr. Higgs loudly exclaimed to the class. In a split second, everypony in the room was in test taking mode, while Mr. Higglesworth was now sitting in a soft recliner. Rainbow Dash just stared at the test in confusion, still dazed by the past events,

"What does 3y(2x)98/32-6-x-n-3-poop equal? The hay is this?" Rainbow Dash though to herself as she attempted to take this "quiz". Just then, Mr. Higglesworth turned to her,

"This how it works you fagola! I read your thoughts! F!" Mr. Higgs yelled then threw a clipboard at Rainbow's face. Some muffled speaking was heard from Rainbow Dash, now lying on the ground, "You talked, double F" Mr. Higgs added on,

"WOW, DOUBLE F? THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!" Pinkie yelled spontaneously,

"You talked, A+" Mr. Higgs responded,

"WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash yelled in disagreement,

"F" Mr. Higgs quickly clarified. Rainbow Dash just slumped back in her seat in disgust,

"Pss, Rainbow Dash! I'll give you the answer to number one if you throw this at Mr. Higglesworth!" Pinkie Pie whispered to the cyan pegasus with a crumpled piece of paper in her hoof,

"You talked, A+!" Mr. Higgs said back to Pinkie,

"Ha! Never mind, Fagola!" Pinkie said again, this time throwing the paper at Rainbow Dash. Just then, the bell started ringing, and everypony got up and left the room,

"Bell rang, all of you fail!" Mr. Higglesworth said as his goodbye to the leaving ponies.

--

I Rainbow Dash's 3rd period, a pony looking like the mayor of Ponyville sat at a desk in an office chair with a keyboard in her lap, as a text-to-speech translator spoke,

"Hello class, please sit in your-" The voice spoke, but was cut off by Pinkie's annoying laughing, "Stop laughing and sit down" the voice said,

"Oh, OK, sorry" Pinkie replied in a normal voice, but immediately resumed laughing, eventually going to sit down at a desk,

"My name is Miss Pony, and I will be your magic study teacher for this year" The translator said again. Pinkie continued to laugh obnoxiously,

"WHAT ARE YOU, IROBOT?" Pinkie annoyingly yelled out,

"I have a broken voice box and have to use a text-to-speech translator to speak to the class" The program stated,

"TEXT TO SPEECH! MORE LIKE TEXT TO GAY! I'M SO FUNNY!" Pinkie blurted again,

"I will be taking attendence, please raise your hand when I call your name" The translator continued,

"H-hold on a sec" Pinkie said in her normal voice, then shoved miss Pony, who was still in an office chair, out the window and out of the school. Pinkie then took control of the text-to-speech machine,

"I am an old fart that likes to do nothing but do Rainbow Dash's mom in 69 before the pussy pussy pussy" Pinkie made the translator say. Soon, Miss Pony came back in a new office chair and threw Pinkie out of her seat, "That was not necessary, please do not do that ever again" Miss Pony responded to Pinkie's actions,

"THAT'S WHY YOU LIKE MY PUPPET SHOWS!" Pinkie yelled from her seat, then threw Miss Pony out once again. However, just as Pinkie was about to make her moves, the bell rang, and all the ponies in the room left.

--

The last period of the day for the cyan mare was PE, and as ponies were entering the gym, a burly white stallion with a crystal blue mane was yelling from the other side of the gym something Rainbow couldn't make out, but she did know that this was Shining Armor as their PE coach,

"GET 20 OF WHAT? THE NUMBER OF TURDS THROWN AT YOUR FACE?" Pinkie obnoxiously yelled back to Shining Armor,

"Do not back-talk to me young mare! Or you will spend the rest of your life in the Rainbow Factory! Give me 20 Push-ups PRONTO!" The coach yelled back, vigorously pointing towards the ground, "TEN HUT! Line up in formation against the wall!" Shining Armor yelled, so everypony in the gym did just that,

"HEY FAGOLA! YOUR A GYM TEACHER NOT AN ARMY GENERAL!" Pinkie challenged to the stallion,

"I was in the Equestrian Royal Guard for 25 years, so suck it up filly! Now what I want you to do, is climb this rope, the higher you go, the higher your grade gets! First lucky one up, is you!" Shining quickly stated then motioned towards Pinkie Pie, so she casually walked up to the rope hanging from the ceiling and began to climb it, inflating her bubbly tail orally as she went. Once she got to the top,

"HEY! I CAN SEE FAGOLA CITY FROM HERE! OH LOOK! THERE'S RAINBOW DASH'S HOUSE!" Pinkie yelled from the top of the rope as her tail deflated. Soon, she lost grip of the rope and came crashing down to the ground,

"Hmm, F, Next!" Shining yelled out to the crowd. Up came Vinyl Scratch, who began climbing the rope in silence. However, when she got only a few feet off the ground, her vision started to blur,

"Woah, woah! I think I had too much boooooooze!" Vinyl screamed before landing on the ground,

"Hmm, D, Next!" The coach yelled again as Rainbow Dash came up to the rope and began climbing. The climb came very easily because she used her wings to assist her, but once she was at the top, the rope snapped, and Rainbow suffered the same fate as the previous ponies before her,

"Hmm, F, Next!" Shining said to the fallen pegasus, who just sighed in agony over how her day had gone. This was going to be a long year...

Comments

[Ponybug23]

i HAVE THE FEELING THAT DIS STORY IS GOING TO BE GOOD! PINKIE PIE, MY MOM IS NOT A PUSSY!

[LunaScribbles]

I wonder why you didn't include..

"Ookay so there was this one guy...." Brandon said "He was walking down the street until he saw a black guy. The black guy said 'Hey, can I have some money?' and the guy said 'No cus' I'm racist.' And they started fighting and that's the end"

In the Puppet show part?