• Published 6th Jul 2022
  • 353 Views, 4 Comments

Why Would This Bother Us? - TheGandyMan



Two guys get transported into the world of Equestria. They react... not at all how you would expect.

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Episode 1: Wait... this is...

Once upon a time, in a land known as Equestria, there was a perfect pretty purple pony princess by the name of Twilight Sparkle. Once a librarian, the purple pony had become a nation-wide hero amongst her peers after discovering and using an ancient power, the Elements of Harmony. Through the power of friendship and magic, she and her gal pals had vanquished many dark and terrible villains upon multiple occasions. They had battled literal nightmares, defeated dark lords from other timelines, even traveled to other universes. They had quite frankly won against more evils than most creatures would ever hear about.

However, it could never have prepared them for what was about to happen.

Twilight sat in the study of the Castle of Friendship, with a vanilla white unicorn by the name of Rarity. The two seemed to be stuck in a debate over whether Twilight's fur coat was purple, violet, or lavender. Rarity appeared to be winning the argument.

"All I'm saying, dearie, is that I know my way around a decent color scheme, and the difference in shade is absolutely paramount to-" She never got to finish that sentence as a large rumbling shook the earth beneath their hooves. Simultaneously, a flash of light flashed from out the window. It only lasted a few seconds, but the silence was soon eradicated by violet hooves.

Twilight looked out the window, searching for the disruption and noticed what appeared to be smoke in the distance.

"Something's happened at Sweet Apple Acres. I'd normally chalk it up to Rainbow practicing one of her feats but that seemed a little..."

"Beyond her scope of abilities?" Rarity offered. A new voice made itself known.

"More like less destructive than Rainbow usually is. Twilight, what in Celestia's name happened?" A green and purple baby dragon walked up to the addressed unicorn who responded with a determined expression.

"I don't know, but we're going to find out."


Five pastel colored ponies came galloping through Sweet Apple Acres, suspecting that Applejack, the sixth member of their group, had already made her way to the spot of disruption. Twilight led the troop of ponies, two of which had taken to the sky.

"Oh dear, oh dear, I really hope nopony is hurt." A yellow pegasus asked in a worried tone, "That explosion was so loud, all the little critters were terrified."

Twilight nodded, mid-trot, "I'm not sure Fluttershy. Luckily it seems it was in the middle of the acres so if nopony was nearby we shouldn't have to worry." They ran around a large rock, moving forward at a decent pace, "If it is simply a phenomenon, we'll write a note to the Princesses. If anypony is hurt, we'll keep them in stable condition until we can get them to a hospital. If it's a threat-"

"Then we'll beat it to a pulp and save the day again like we usually do." The scratchy confident voice came from the second flair, a blue pegasus with a prismatic mane. Twilight merely nodded, not having quite the confidence of her counterpart.

They were very close to the location now and they began to slow down as they noticed a familiar orange pony standing behind a bush observing something.

"Applejack, is everything okay? We came as soon as we saw... whatever that was in the sky."

The golden maned equine turned and nodded, she pointed to what appeared to be a crater in the middle of a clearing, two figures could be seen but were slightly obscured by the dirt and smoke.

"Good thing yall made your way here. Not entirely sure how to handle this right now."

"What do you mean?" The ponies looked where she was motioning and noticed one of the figures was completely motionless, while the other was tossing and turning.

"Well... I've been here for a short while, those two things seem to be what caused all this but..."

"HOLY MOTHER FUCKIN' SHIT ASS EATING SON OF A BITCH!!"

"...that one's been swearin' up a storm the whole time." Everyone aside from Applejack and Rainbow cringed from the obscene swearing.

"That Goddamn bastard.. Fuck that hurts ARRGNN!"

"What about the other one?" Rarity was the first to speak, though nervously. Applejack shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure he's muttering something under his breath. Something along the lines of 'my body is pain incarnate'." She crossed her arms as another string of curses came from the clearing, "I've been sittin' here tryin' to decide what to do."

Twilight smacked a hoof to her face, "Well obviously they're in pain right now. I think the best course of action would be to take care of that first." She proceeded to step out from the bushes they were hidden behind, much to the behest of her friends who reluctantly followed. Once close enough they could pick more features now that the dust had cleared.

They appeared to be strange bipedal creatures, Twilight being the only one that recognized the form. They had fingers, toes, and... other extremities as there seemed to also be a lack of clothing on either of them. While the others seemed unbothered by this, Twilight, after quickly casting a small pain relieving spell over both of them, also covered them up with summoned blankets. Somepony somewhere was going cold right now.

The one that had been cursing sat up, having not noticed the ponies since his back was to them. No longer in any major pain he looked around in confusion, "Where in the hell...?" His sentence ended as he noticed the strange colorful creatures before him. They stared back at him in their own amazement as it seemed this being had a pumpkin for a head.

“What sort of special hell is this?” He thought to himself. Rising slowly and scanning his surroundings, he spotted the human across from him. Said human only seemed to be making groaning noises and the occasional muttered sound. The Pumpkin headed individual walked towards him, crouching down to help him up. “Lemme help you up bud.”

The human turned his head slowly, looking at the fruity guy above him. A moment of awkwardness passed before he spoke, extremely articulately, “Am I high?”

The pumpkin man responded appropriately, “Apparently we’re both high as shit. Though, this is very real, no doubt.”

The sound of a clearing throat came from another location. The human, still on the floor, sat up suddenly, his hands in what could be described as ‘ninja mode’. Before the two of them were six chromatically colored horse-like creatures with huge eyes. The one in front stepped forward.

“Greetings, I am Twilight Sparkle. Welcome to-” Once again, a sentence was left unfinished.

“What are you!”

“Are you going to eat us?”

“Yeah… wait what? Why would they eat us. They’re literal ponies, we could beat their asses easily."

“All carnivorous creatures strip their prey of clothing before eating them.”

P:“That is completely false and ponies aren’t carnivorous.”

“...oh yeah.”

Another moment of silence passed as the ponies felt less and less confident about the situation. With a clearing of her throat, Twilight tried to speak once more.

“Uhm… as I was saying, welcome to Equestria. As he just said, no we are not going to eat either of you. I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, one of the Elements of Harmony.”

The human squinted his eyes, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more contemptuous name before. It’s like you’re trying to make someone spit glitter out their nose.” The pumpkin headed one was quick to agree.

“Right? I was just about to say that but with shittier words.”

The two of them fist bumped. A bond had been made as they promptly ignored the ponies in front of them. The human introduced himself, “My name’s Ca… uhh… Carma.”

“Crypto.”

“Currency?”

“You wish.”

“Hey!” They turned to the offending voice. The purple one seemed a little annoyed that their attention was once again being brought to a grinding halt, “Are you two right in the head?”

“His head isn’t right.” Carma pointed to Crypto.

“Damn bro, you didn’t have to say that.. With yo-”

“Not the point! From what I can surmise, the two of you have been transported into our world via some anomaly. I don’t know how or why it has happened, but I don’t think you two should be taking this lightly. We’ve got to get you back home to your families.”

“My entire race is dead.” Everyone turned to Crypto in shock. The human however nodded in understanding. “I'm not bothered by it anymore to be honest, I’ve encountered great friends to lift me up. Plus I got saved because I was sent about 150 years into the future.”


“Worry not, my family disowned me for flirting with fictional characters so we’re basically in the same boat.”

“...that…. that is not the same thing at all but I gotchu.” They slap their hands together but then grip them for a second. The rainbow maned pegasus smiled and pointed at the two beings before them.

“I love this already.”

Twilight however had her mind stuck on one word, “Friends you say? Well, as the Element of Friendship I think it is my sworn duty to help you during your stay here. Let’s make our way back into town.” She charged her horn, and with a pop they all found themselves in the Castle once again. The human seemed to be the only one surprised.

“Gah! New location! Not getting used to that anytime soon.”

“Ahh, teleportation magic, something I use almost daily.”

“Why would anyone need to teleport on a daily basis?”

“I have to travel to a lot of kingdoms and fight corrupted gods.”

“Well whoop dee doo, at least you’ll fit right in here. Speaking of which…” the human turned to the ponies noticeably cover himself up more with the blankets they’d been given, “Do yall got any clothes for us? It’s gettin’ a little drafty in he-”

“First! Friendship!” The violet mare said this, ignoring the unamused and slightly concerned look on the faces of both the newcomers and her friends.

Today is gonna be a long day it seems.

Author's Note:

This is actually a collaborative writing project between myself and Zeplen. Some fun stuff.