Twilight and her quest to get the most rare item in Equestria (With comedic hurdles of course)

by Mr Mlp

Finally... Canterlot Mountain

Twilight sprinted up the mountain feeling the chilled wind and crunchy snow with each hoofstep. She felt alive after the stuff she had to endure just to get here, this was amazing. Of course there wasn't much to look at. White, rocks, and trees were most of what was seeable. It would be cool to fly and get a sky view of the glorious mountain, but the winds prevented such a thing from happening. The way up so far had been a nice steady incline and at the pace she was moving it would be believable she had enough time. It still should be up there for about a day. About an hour had gone by so far and it was going smoothly, like a bed that was made so perfect that when you ran you hand through it, there were no wrinkles. It was about the time to start to pull out the map. Twilight reached into her bag and pulled out the plain parchment.

"It says the ice wall is coming up soon. This is going to be easy." After another 5 to 10 minutes of walking the ice wall had shown up standing tall and proud. This ice wall was no mear ice wall though, no it contained many spikes, ledges, and icy dangers to be weary of. Twilight reached into her bag once again and pulled out a "GRAPPLING HOOK!" The hook shot out speedily and clanged onto a ledge with a sharp clank. "This might just be the easiest part of this journey so far-" BONK Twilight was struck by a falling icicle. She grabbed a rope out of her bag, attached it to herself and the hook, and began climbing. That ice was very slippery. At any moment she could take a step and fall down like she stepped on a comedic banana peel.

Didn't matter to Twilight though, she had practiced this during her planning phase. She continued up to the ledge, but not before banging her head a few times into the frozen blue. Her hoof finally touched the ledge and she pulled herself up. Standing up she took pride in her skills and peered at the view. Majestic wasn't it? Turning to the right she saw a bird. It kinda looked like a dying pig mixed with a tiny cat having an existential crisis. "SQUAK BITCH!" Alamermed twilight lost control of her body and fell back towards the drop awaiting for her. It would be terrible if she were to fall. She still couldn't use her wings due to the high voltage of wind power. "As my final words I curse rarity for making me fit into all those dresses!" She barely gained back her control and gazed at the blistering red bird flying away. "I will kill that bird."

She untangled the rope on the grappling hook and shot the silver hook again clanging onto another ledge. She retired the rope and jumped right back to it. She didn't want to admit it but that bird kinda got her a little nervous. "Lets hope I don't come across anything else surprising." She hoisted herself up to the next ledge. "I take back what I said about wanted nothing else surprising, my celestia there is a gun here." Picking it up she suspected the gun. Very excited for the potential help this could give her she immediately checked how much ammo there was... alas there were no bullets. A shame really. "Maybe I can chuck this if I ever see that bird one more time." She shook her head and threw the gun out into the open sky. She kept at it for a while, tossing and weaving until closer by closer she got to the top. She also slipped many times and got splattered. She didn't die thankfully for she had landed about a few feet from the ledge and landed on another ledge.

After a good long 26 1/2 minuetes, 53 seconds, 36 milliseconds, 17 nanoseconds, 89 picoseconds, and 45 femtoseconds the final ledge was within reach. Placing her hoof on the soft snowy pavement she lifted herself up and danced on joyous victory. Her victory was short lived. There is was... a goat staring her right in the eye. What was it planning? "Why hello there fella! Are you climbing the mountain like I am?"

Before twilight could conjure up a thought on how this goat could answer it lunged with great force. She dodged just in time and bolted away from the goat. It gave chase and was moving even faster than twilight. She frantically rumanged through her bag pulled and pulled out the map looking for possible escaping paths. The wind would not have it as it picked up the map and chucked it into the open blue just like she did with the gun. She couldn't ponder on that mistake, for there was still a goat furiously sprinting towards. She put her hoof back into the bag and gave it another go. "GRAPPLING HOOK!" The goat scoffed and eat the whole damn thing. She wasn't even using her eyes anymore on the bag only going off of what her hoof felt. She felt the shiny brick... ha no. Then felt something soft... nope. In the process the goat lunged again forcing her to do another quick dodge. She picked an item at random and threw it. It was her rainbow dash plush. "Damn it!"

Stopping was not an option, but she had no options left. Maybe being stupid here would be her way out? She planted her hoof fully into the ground, the thing was extremely close and twilight ducked just in time. The goat then drifted like a Nascar and once more dashed towards her. Twilight turned her back to it, lined her legs up, and BANG! She bucked that thing so hard even applejack would be ashamed of her own legs. The goat was sent miles off the mountain. It probably died... wait thats animal abuse. Uhhh, let's just pretend it landed on a cloud and got safely returned back to the safe hard ground.

"Oh my celestia, that was insane. I'm hyperventilating. " she took a seat in the white snow feeling the wind brush against her coat and the slow silent sounds of ambience. Now there was peace, now she could rest just for a bit. She couldn't rest for long. She had to keep moving. Stepping hoof by hoof once again she let calmness envelop her. It would be important to keep a calm and level headed mind.

About another hour passed of freezing cold winds and white as far as the eye could see. The map was coming out to be extremely useful, scouting out certain spots and landmarks to keep track of where she was going. Nothing much had happened, thankfully. The most interesting thing that had happened was the wind chucking a icicle directly at her face. "I'm going to beat the living tartaris out of this wind when I'm done with this voyage..." There was a humongo pause after that. Who knows what the next trial would await her? Would she die? Would she get hurt? What was the mystical item? DID SHE REMEMBER TO TURN OFF THE OVEN? "Celestia damn I'm hungry... I should take out my Nutri Grain bar."

Sigh "I must have threw my Nutri Grain bar at the goat. Or maybe the bird took it. I'm still going to get that bird. Oh well!" She placed her hoof back into the bag rummaging around for other types of food to eat. "Really?! I only have a triple deluxe dairy cheeseburger with extra lettuce, pickles, and onions roasted to black and let it swim. This is the longest struggle I've ever been on." She stuffed her whole mouth into the scrumptious delectable, sadly without a napkin. This did reboost her energy a bit though, now she was moving at twice the speed.

Speedtrouting for a bit more time she came across the tree. She questioned whether or not it was "the" tree and after a quick check of the map it was indeed "the" tree. For about the millionth time she went into her bag pulling out a stasis rune this time with a sticker saying "One time use only." She took out her axe, then cut down the tree, but right before it feel she pressed the button in the middle of the device aiming it at the tree all in one swift motion. The tree froze and Twilight swung the axe at the tree a few more times towards the direction of a far away cliff edge farther up the mountain. In a rush she jumped onto to the tree holding on tightly. Then she felt a vibration in her bag. She stuck her head into it and took the shiny brick out. It was blinking and vibrating madly, this however caused the bag on twilight's back to be loosened and before she could tighten it back up she was launched at blinding speeds losing the most helpful item on her mission in the process! "OH COME ON!"

Going at least 30 miles an hour the blistering cold on her fur coat felt unbearable. All the features of the mountain all seem to melt into one giant blur, as she was still picking up speed. Finally the destination was in sight. That was good, now she could stop going through the air at like 100 miles per hour. Yeah... stop. "How do you do that again?" The ledge was getting closer. "Wait I can't stop... Damn it! It's because I don't have my magic. I forgot I was planning on stopping with my horn!" Surprisingly the shiny brick had stayed with her the whole journey here. "Well shiny vibrating brick that somehow is vibrating even more. It was nice knowing you." Now they were seconds away from their death. 10... 9... fast forward 2... 1... SLAM! They slammed pretty hard, but not into rock, but a soft paw.

Twilight and the brick dropped onto the snow base. Twilight wearily picked her head up to see a bear. This was no normal bear though he was wearing a pink t-shirt and pink khakis that read state farm on the side. The bear had a crown on its head, possibly resembling a king. He had missing patches of fur and smelled like dirt covered in more dirt. He coat was white and his purpose still remained to be seen. "Excuse me sir, but are you a king?"

"YES! I'm the king of this mountain! I'm so happy you dropped by! I haven't seen many ponies in my life and it's always nice to see one."
"So are you telling me that you have your own subjects?"
"Nah, I'm immortal on this mountain and have outlived everybody here. If I leave then I die. The mountain keeps me here and that box where you place the magic inside. Y'know the box you would come across when you first make it to the mountain. I would have to place my magic in there to leave and if I do that well I perish. But that's a-okay!"
"I'm sorry to hear that. That must mean you know a lot about this mountain don't you?"
"Sure do!"
"Can you help me get to the top of this mountain? And fast, i'm on a time crunch here."
"I would love to come inside my cave, it's cozy and well get you right warmed up. We can discuss mountain stuff there."
"Is it far?"
"Nah in fact it's quite literally right here."
"Oh."

They both took a step into the cave and the bear was right. It was incredibly comfortable and warm. Had everything a house would need all glossed over with a grandma look and feel. They each took a seat on a red velvet chair. The bear sat his iced tea that Twilight didn't even realized he had on the sturdy coffee placed in the center of the rug. The fireplace was also amazingly hot and felt amazingly good. The brick however was vibrating like crazy.

"By the way is the red rectangle yours?"
"Sadly yes."
The bear placed the shiny brick on a third velvet chair seated next to him. This made her realize that the brick had stop vibrating a while ago after they meant the bear.
"What's so sad about it? It's not broken and it can be used as a good material for whatever you can plan to do. Don't you build with it? If you do wouldn't this be a good thing to have?"
"Not if you have just one. It's pretty useless. It's silly and stupid. All the stuff I had in my bag was way better for this climb."
"Well if you ask me you can do without your fancy climbing equipment. You got this far, surely it wasn't just your possessions that got you up this far. I bet you will find a use for that brick someday. Besides silliness as a great thing to posses."
"Not when you are on a death mission."
"Ah! Come on! Cheer up! I know you really want to get up the rest of the way to the mountain, so I think it's time I teach you some of the ropes to get all the way up!"
"Oh thank you so much!"
"It's no problem! Now first."

Suddenly a metal clang reached twilight's ears causing them to perk up.
"Now let me explain the rules."
The coffee table sank into the ground and then out popped a blue, white, and solid model with distinct features that made it look like the mountain itself. It was completely made of ice.
"This is my favorite board game! Now don't get me wrong playing a board game doesn't sound like it will help, but trust me it's fun and educational!"
Twilight tried to get up and inspect the curious looking game, but she found herself unable to. She looked down and found to have both of her back hooves in metal chains gluing her to the ground. She didn't even notice the cold silver on her hooves.
"Hey wait a minute! I can't be trapped here!"
"Relax. It won't take to long. All you gotta do is get to the top of the mountain with this dice and game piece, but be careful of the dangerous spaces you can land on. I will also be racing you to make it more fun!"
He took off his crown and put it on top of the board game.
"First one to make it up will be king of the mountain and claim the crown!"