Twilight and her quest to get the most rare item in Equestria (With comedic hurdles of course)

by Mr Mlp

The hopefully not to long and stupidly stressful fly to Canterlot Mountain

Author's Note:

Also this is my first ever fan fic and first ever story I've written. So don't expect a masterpiece or anything. I really just wanted to have fun with this. Of course I still tried to make it y know not garbage, but you know, if you wanna enjoy it I would probably just try to have fun and enjoy the stupidity rather than go full in and critic every thing in the story. I know the things I need to work on and I knew I wasn't going to get it on my first try which is why I didn't kill myself trying to make that happen. So yeah twilight has a real terrible time trying to climb one mountain. You better beware... your in for a scareeee. :) I love goosebumps.

It was a sunny day and somepony was getting ready for some sort of mysterious, dangerous, and tiring journey. This pony was going to voyage to obtain a such a rare substance that acquiring a beautiful and mouthwatering gift from the heavens was... complicated to say the least. Getting an item like this would require months of planning maybe even years of working up to grab a beast like this. In fact it was so rare that it was thought to be higher royalty than the two sister princesses. It would only appear at a certain time every year and even then it would only stay there for only a few hours. This however was a struggle that the purple alicorn princess Twilight Sparkle was prepared to go on.

"Spike! Go grab my bags!" Twilight exclaimed with enthusiasm. "Why? Are we going on a mission?" Spike questioned. "A mission yes, but a mission of my own accord. This quest will be far to death filled for you to come along spike. Sorry." Twilight did not want spike to know the real reason why she was packed and ready to go on some sort of secret mission as far as spike would know, but she could not afford to have spike tag along on this death ride. "Will you be okay? I don't you getting hurt." Said spike filled with absolute worry. "I will be fine Spike. I am an alicorn. Nothing can hurt me. I'm an alicorn with years of magic training under princess Celestia." This however was a lie. This journey would be an actual threat to the immortal princess. "Well okay...but bring back a souvenir if you get the chance!" "I will spike!"

She quickly burst out the room carrying her bag with her magic. Flying down the crystal halls she pulled out her map and scoured the locals plastered on the paper. There was only one location she wanted to go and that was Canterlot mountain.
Of course she wasn't going into the town, but the complete back of it. Climbing up the mountain was strictly prohibited by celestia, so she would have to tack the back route. It was about a day of flying away, so she had packed snacks, water, and other materials in her bag. She had to fly fast if she wanted to get up the mountain and finally grab the item that has been so unobtainable for so many years and make it within the tight time limit. The wind was calm and the skies fully clear and Twilight could just enjoy the flight and hopefully not worry to much about the inevitable dangers awaiting her during the climb up Canterlot mountain. But obviously instead of taking in her final moments of tranquility of the quest Twilight spent this time to go over her plan step by step.

"So if I land here and use my shield spell to deflect the attack I should be-" "HEY!"
Twilight Sparkle was stopped in the middle of her run through only to see an old, wore down stallion screaming out to call her attention. "I'm sorry. Are you talking to me?" Twilight questioned. "Yes I'm talking to you! Get down her I need your help!" Twilight was very confused and wondered what this stallion wanted to do with her. The broken down male had a bald spot on the middle of his head. He was a glaring red, had a back mane and tail that seemed to not have any pop to it, and his whole fur body was unkempt and unruly.

"Your the princess of friendship right?"
"I sure am! Do you need help with a friendship problem? Or perhaps something to do with magic?"
"I need youuuuuuu... tooooo give meee... a brick. A nice shiny brick. A brick to be with me for generations to come." "What?"
Twilight was even more confuzzeled. "I NEED IT! THIS IS DIRE! TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN IF I DON'T GET THIS BRICK!"
"Alright sir. Calm down! I will get a brick." Twilight did not want to do this. She had to get back on her very important flight to Canterlot Mountain, but she felt as if she needed to help out this poor soul. Twilight did a quick search around the hills that surrounded the land and small quaint little house the stallion lived in. After a few minuets she found a nice sturdy brick not to far from where she found the interesting piece of work. "I got your brick Mr."
"NAH! IT'S NOT SHINY ENOUGH!"
Twilight groaned. Was there even such thing as a shiny brick?
"I'm sorry Mr. but I really don't have time for this-" Twilight started to say, but was cut off.
"BAH! Don't worry about it anyway I know how you can get the brick."
"Mr. I don't think your listening I can't help you right now, I have to-" Twilight was once again cut off.
"BAH HA HA! If you ever wanna see your PRECIOUS BAG THEN YOUR GOING TO GET ME THAT SPARKLING BANANA! Er I mean brick."
Twilight realized she had left her bag while she had gone to search for the supposed mystical shiny brick. She needed that bag. It held every single thing that she needed to climb up that mountain.
"All you gotta do is do whatever I say until I find it fit that you can be given my fantastic shiny brick that has been with me for generations."

Twilight ignited her horn immediately, but something was wrong. "HA HA! YOU BATCH OF MILK! YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME WITH YOUR FAIRY TALE MAGIC! FOR I HAVE INSTALLED MAGIC STEALING SPRINKLERS THAT YOU DON'T EVEN FEEL TOUCHING YOUR BODY WHEN IT IMPACTS YOU! HA HA! GET SMOKED IDIOT!" He was right? Twilight couldn't use her magic? "WhAttTtT?!" She screamed in glory.

"Hehe, now you have no choice but to serve me until you can get your bag back." She considered just tackling the stallion and going into a hoof to hoof brawl, but she worried she might accidentally kill the guy with her strength. But she just said "Eh screw it." She pounced on the old stallion, but his horn ignited in a furious red. She hadn't even realized he had a horn. Twilight was plastered onto the ground.

"Heeeheeee. You ready now girl?"

Edit: Hey this is uh, future me. The author like over a year into the future. I don't know what the frick this part is and this just feels wrong. I never re-read my work when I first created this, I do re-read my work now, but dang past me.

"Fine." This was possibly one of the worst things that could have happened on this journey. This would only waste precious time and Twilight really did not enjoy this new obstacle in her way. "What do I need to do first?"

"First, you need to go into my house and lick my dishes clean." This time the old stallion spoke in such a way, that he sounded like a sage. "What if I don't lick them clean?" Twilight questioned. "OH HO HO! I will know... NOW GO!" Twilight ran as fast as she could into the run down, beat up, and dusty house. It looked like it had been there for a thousand years. The mysterious old Mr. just stayed outside looking up at the sky. Twilight rolled her eyes at the sight. "What a crazy pony. Now where are these dishes?" She scanned the whole premises. It was a small home with not much to show. She wondered if the old stallion was content with this life. She went through the house once... nothing. Twice... still nothing. Three times... still no dishes? She started to panic, until she could hear the now unbearable voice from the old stallion.

"HEY!" YOUR THINKING INSIDE THE BOX! Er I MEAN HOUSE! STOP DOING THAT YOU LEGO BRICK! THE DISHES ARE IN THE BACKYARD!" What in the name of Celestia is a lego brick? Twilight thought to herself. But she was ecstatic to know where these illusive dishes were. She found them hanging on thin brown rope, like they were supposed to be clothes hanging up to dry. "Welp, I guess I gotta get to it." She took one down and just started at it for a few seconds. The plate wasn't extremely dirty, but it defiantly showed signs of needing a massive clean. There were a good amount of grim chunks on the dish each with their own texture and look. Twilight could not believe she was about to do this, but if it was to get her bag back and get the bestest substance in all of Equestria! She would do it. She stuck her tongue out and took quite a gigantic lick. As her tongue came into contact with the specks of filth she could feel herself wanting to stand back in revolution. She did not though, she hated every second of it, but she eventually got down to the final dish. The grand finale if you would say.

This dish was different however. This one had a not little specks of dirt, but one blown out of proportions monster of a piece of muck. She sucked it up, closed her eyes, and gave it one more huge grand lick... She opened her eyes... IT WAS STILL THERE! She could not bear to lick that thing again, so she took a more analytical approach. "What if I use water? The old stallion is still standing outside in the field away from me so he wouldn't know if I used water. Besides I used my tongue for the rest of these pots, pans, and plates. I should have an excuse for this one." But then Twilight remembered the three times she had searched through the home of the old stallion and realized "Oh yeah, there is not faucet here. What if I scrub it off with a stick?" She grabbed a nice comfortable to hold branch and poked the dirt on the dish many times. "Wow... this is some piece of slime. If this branch won't get rid of this stupid smudge, then I will have to go a bit bigger.

She took a gander at all of the trees gathered in the small quaint little section of land. She was going to have to use a technique she hadn't used in quite a long time... Intelligent Mind. One by one she picked up about 500 sticks. Using grass she tied them all together to make one big chonky stick. "If this doesn't get this devil of a speck then I don't know what will." She stuck that huge thing into that bad boy... it did't budge. She tried again sticking it in further this time. "Come onnnnn..." No visible movement was detected. "Come onnnnn... I know you want to." Once again it was pushed in even further... but still nothing budged. Twilight was starting to sweat. "Please!" Her voiced cracked when she said that. "PLEASE!" Her voiced cracked even more that time. Twilight took a step back and summoned all of her force and might into one more swing. "GET OF THIS PLATE AND GO TO TAURTERIS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" But... the speck did not move one muscle.

Now Twilight was more panicked then she had ever been, at least for the past few years. She burst out from the out the fields screaming at the top of her lungs. "I'M NEVER GONNA GET THIS STUPID TASK DONE! I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO THE TOP OF THE DUMB MOUNTAIN IN TIME! AHHH!"

"HEY!" Oh gosh there is that classic "hey!" twilight knew the old stallion had a knack of doing. "WHAT?!" Twilight exclaimed with a sharp furious tone and a crazed look that even made the old stallion step back in worry. "Stop what you are doing young child. Come with me" Twilight was taken aback from this response. "Fine."

Both of them trotted over to the monstrous smudge on the dish. "Now lick it"
"I'm not going to lick it! I've already tried that and I've already had to endure the other sets of dishes!"
"Ah good argument, but lick it"
"Can't you just lick this one?"
"Hehe. No lick it"
"But-"
"Lick it or your bag is going into my big boy bonfire."
There was an extremely heavy sigh that came out of Twilight's mouth. "Fine."

Mustering all of her courage and strength, she stuck her tongue out slowly creeping up to the mass of dirt and grim that laid dormant on the plate. She took one damn good lick and by gosh it hecking worked. There was no longer a plate that was filled with muck, mud, or whatever substances were on that thing. Now it showed a silver, shiny, and sparkling dish that Twilight's eyes took in with awe. It was if magic had encased it and just let it shine.

"But how?" Twilight asked with as much curiosity she could put into her tone of voice.
"Oh twilight of little faith. There are alot of things you still have to learn."
Twilight was not understanding, but under all of that desperateness to understand she once again the time limit she was on, the bag the old stallion still held captive, and the shiny brick she still had to give to him. She was just about to say her next word when suddenly...

KA BIDDLY BOOM BAM!

Edit: What have I created?