Meet The Ponies

by Pyrotf2

The Magic of Murder

Twilight slowly awoke. She was in a white room, with a strange locker on her left and other strange devices and such on her right. Where was she? She looked around.

Nothing to tell her if she was in Equestria or somewhere else. Explosions and yelling could be heard outside, until a tall… thing burst into the metal doorway (it move up?) shouting "MEDIC!" in a distinct accent. Then it looked at Twilight, apparently just noticing her for the first time. Twilight also looked at this new creature, frightened but a little curious.

***************************
It was roughly three or four times her size, bipedal, quite probably male, and wearing outlandish clothes with a seemingly red theme. A Western hat was atop its head, and it wore orange glasses. It was wearing a red shirt with what appeared to be a target emblem on the shoulder, and a brown vest, and it carried the strangest thing Twilight had ever seen. A metal tube was attached to parts of wood, and there was a complex mechanism at the back where he was holding it, finger on the
trigger uncertainly. "…'Ello?" the Sniper queried, shocking Twilight. These things spoke! In her language! "Hi," she finally answered. "My name's Twilight Sparkle."
Sniper simply stared. "…What's your name?" Twilight continued uncomfortably.

"Well, my real name's a bit of a secret, but mates round here call me the Sniper," he
answered, just as uncomfortably. "No offense, but… Am I see'in right? Are you a talkin' purple horse?" At this, Twilight felt affronted.

"Excuse me, but I am a pony, sir," she replied, irritated. "Right…" the Sniper said, unconvinced that this was not merely a very odd dream of his.

"What's going on here?" Twilight asked, again looking around as though hoping to find a sign. "Well, it's complicated…" the Sniper said as he launched into a long-winded and very Australian explanation of "red" and "blue" teams and "Twofort" and "fighting". That last word caught Twilight's attention. "Why are you fighting, did someone upset you?" she asked.

"Well, no, we're fighting over land claims and such, gravel pits, towns…" Sniper saw Twilight's uncomprehending look. "We're mercenaries," he finished.

Twilight brightened. "Wow, I've never met a real mercenary before, this is just like some of the books I read!"

Sniper laughed. "Books…right. Well, I'd best be getting' back to my post. Those bloody idiots ain't gonna snipe themselves. Nice meetin' you and all." He exited the room.

"Well, I certainly want to find out what's going on," Twilight muttered. She gathered all her courage and started out that strange metal door.

Rainbow, of course, had run at the first sight of these strange creatures and their metal sticks of death. She flew high up into the air, and watched from a distance. One in particular caught her eye. It was one of the red-shirted ones, carrying some sort of blue briefcase, and evidently running for his life. "DOC! C'mon, man!" she faintly heard as he sprinted into the red colored building. He was fast. Really fast, Rainbow thought to herself. How did he do it? He had two legs, and no wings, and yet he was outrunning everyone else. She almost wanted to meet him, but reminded herself that if these things were busy killing each other so obsessively, they would probably just kill her on sight. Speaking of which, that red one had just reappeared. It was doing something with it's belt… Dash swooped in for a closer look, still too far away for any of the creatures to see her as more than a black dot against the sunlight. It took out a small red and yellow can, and drank whatever was inside, a look of satisfaction on it's face. Then, Dash watched in amazement as it zoomed, seemingly faster than any eye but hers could see, right back into the blue building. Whatever that can was, it made him… almost as fast as she was. He zoomed back with that same briefcase (how many of them were there?) and down to what Dash thought might be an underground part of the building, where none of the other creatures were.

Alright, go time, Rainbow thought to herself. She swooped down faster than anyone could see and landed right in front of the creature, battle stance at the ready. "Whoa, what the!" Scout cried as a blue pony with wings and rainbow-colored hair appeared out of nowhere in front of him. "You can talk?!" Rainbow said, almost accusingly.

"I could say the same for you! Where did you – How are you - ?!" Scout replied, still in shock.

"My name, since you were probably asking, is Rainbow Dash. The fastest pony alive?" Rainbow said proudly. Scout mentally shrugged, feeling that there wasn't much he could do about the talking pony with wings, and grinned. He took out a can of that same orange stuff from earlier. "Oh yeah? There's a room in the blue building, same as this one. Race you there!"
Rainbow grinned. "Oh, it is SO on – ?!" Scout had already disappeared, running as fast as he could. Rainbow quickly shuffled her wings and sped off.

Pyro was still deep in thought about his video, while he was in Pyroland. It was an anonymous interview, so those were his teammates' true feelings about him and his personality. That, and judging how quickly they left, they were very scared of him. Pyro felt sad. He didn't want them to be scared. He wanted them to be the friends that he never had. He colored a BLU Sniper in rainbows and the Sniper immediately laughed, clutching his baby chest for some reason, and fell to the floor, basking in the warm sunshine that came from Pyro's special toy. Pyro would have smiled, but it didn't matter. He decided that the mission was ending soon, and besides, Scout was on his way. He'd get the intelligence. Whistling a familiar tune unconsciously, Pyro made his way back to RED base to restock on ammo for his toys. He got to the spawn, and decided to use the one to the left, nearest the RED Sniper who was, for some reason, even more disgruntled than usual. Pyro ignored him, and found the room. And stared.

A glowing purple hole was on the wall. Pyro looked at it, watching the swirls. "Mission ends in thirty seconds!" the Announcer said, as though to snap Pyro back to reality (well, half-reality, anyway). He looked around, as though hoping to see some form of joke present. Finding none, he shrugged and restocked his stuff, and cautiously stepped through the portal. Little did he know he was being watched by a certain pink pony, hidden in the rafters.

Scout arrived at the intel room. No one was there, especially not that blue pony. Did she get lost? He wondered, momentarily concerned. Then he shrugged, and almost grabbed the intel, only to find that a blue, familiar face was grinning at him. "Beat ya!" Rainbow laughed. "What?!" Scout said angrily.

"How fast 'those wings take ya?!" Rainbow thought. "From there to here? Ten seconds flat," she answered proudly. Scout noticed shouts of "Incoming!" coming from one of the corridors, and whipped out his Force-A-Nature. "Gotta go, got a round to win. Nice race, see ya later!"
Scout said on his way out. Rainbow followed, not wanting to meet anyone who thought she had stolen their stuff.

"Victory!" the Announcer cried, and the RED Team congratulated themselves, Scout at the forefront. "Yeah man, that was all' you." He said to the team, with hi-fives all around. They retired for the day, cleaning their weapons and hats. Scout noticed the Pyro was strangely absent, and that Sniper was grumbling more than usual. "Hey,Snipes, you seen Pyro?" Scout asked, looking around as though Pyro was hidden in the walls.

"Nah. But the things I've seen, mate…" Sniper answered, putting his face in his hands.

"Whatsa' matter, talkin' ponies?" Scout said, making it seem like a joke. This was an old favorite tactic of his to figure out if anyone else knew what he did, without making it seem like he was crazy if they didn't. The Sniper looked up at him.

"How'd you…?" Scout grinned. "Come on out, Rainbow." A blue face emerged from
a rafter, and the entire team looked up. "Er… hi?" Rainbow said, for once as shy as Fluttershy. "…Look at tiny baby pony?! Is tiny! Tinier than baby-man Scout!" Heavy
said after a moment, laughing uproariously.

"Yeah, well at least they ain't bigger than your gut, fatty." Scout answered. "What in God's name…" Spy said, studying the thing. "Well, I'll be jiggered," muttered the Engineer, almost dropping his weapon in shock. "Hey, Twilight, get over here, I don't think I can take all this admiration," Rainbow said proudly, fluffing out her wings to impress them further. Twilight released her invisibility spell, revealing herself right next to Soldier, who jumped about a foot.

"Scout, Sniper, what in sam' hell did y'all do?!" Engie demanded. "Nothin!" Scout protested. Twilight gave a small cough. "I did this, actually. It was part of an
experiment to see if there were other universes, and we ended up in yours." Rainbow half-grinned sheepishly. "My bad."
Heavy looked at Twilight, causing her to cringe upon the sight of this mountain of a man. "You from another world?"
he said. "Well, yes, I mean…" Twilight responded, again quailing under Heavy's look. "Prove it," Heavy demanded. Rainbow got up and motioned for the team to follow, and they did so.

They came to the other spawn room, where the portal was. "Well, goodnight Irene!" Engie said happily. "Look at this technology, if I had anythin' like this…" Twilight smiled proudly, while Rainbow and Scout groaned. Scout leaned over to Dash and whispered "Eggheads, I tell ya'," and Rainbow tried not to burst into laughter. Engie noticed something strange. "Hey, get a look at this!" he said.

A flare from Pyro's flare gun was right next to the portal. "You don't think… Hey, purple pony. Can someone go back through this hole?" Scout asked worriedly.

"Yes, it was designed to work both ways in case we needed an escape… why?" Twilight asked, ignoring the lack of use of her name.

"Crikey! Pyro's in your world, then!" Sniper said, paling. Twilight immediately started panicking at the thought. "They'll arrest him if he goes in there with weapons! He'll be thrown into the dungeon for sure!" Rainbow put a hoof over her shoulder. "Relax, Twi, we'll get back and explain." Twilight turned to her, even more worried. "But we need Pinkie to get back!"

They heard a violent *THUD* as something slammed into the door. Then the door opened, and Pinkie
appeared. "Did someone call my name?" she said.

"Another one? How many of you are there?" Spy asked, concerned. "A couple thousand," Twilight answered nervously. She turned to the rest of the team, who were loading up their weapons. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"We're getting' our buddy back," Engie answered. "See, we did him a great insult recently, and now we're repayin' it by gettin' him outa jail."

Comments

[Dave Bryant]

Artwork by ImpCJCaesar, originally posted to Deviantart.

[Starlight Nova]

I thought everyone in Team Fortress hated the Pyro. Why do they want to save him?

[Pyrotf2]

11217667
Hudda hudda huh humf huh ( read first chapter)

[Kuro_Hebi]

*************************** It was roughly three or four times her size, bipedal, quite probably male, and wearing outlandish clothes with a seemingly red theme. A Western hat was atop its head, and it wore orange glasses. It was wearing a red shirt with what appeared to be a target emblem on the shoulder, and a brown vest, and it carried the strangest thing Twilight had ever seen. A metal tube was attached to parts of wood, and there was a complex mechanism at the back where he was holding it, finger on the trigger uncertainly. "…'Ello?" the Sniper queried, shocking Twilight. These things spoke! In her language! "Hi," she finally answered. "My name's Twilight Sparkle." Sniper simply stared. "…What's your name?" Twilight continued uncomfortably.

Make the asterisk short like 3 asterisk in the middle. Thx